Dear Sarky Clause

BEAT · 21-12-2005 3:44pm #1

I know im on the naughty list....
but can I have a spanking for xmas this year?
the whipping last year left me with red cheeks for well over a month

madrab · 21-12-2005 4:33pm

have i been a good peasant?

21-12-2005 5:11pm

ive been a dirty boy!rolling around in the big dustbins!punishe me anybody!:D

BEAT · 21-12-2005 5:15pm

zis is ze place for punishment...sarky clause is incharge of the naughty list...his beard is red and his grin evil...
he has plans for all us naughty boys and girls yes he does. . .

Sarky · 21-12-2005 5:49pm

Bah.

Humbug!

Nevyn · 21-12-2005 7:48pm

So you got a sheep and a packet of humbugs your doing well.

Personaly I would like to wake up tomorrow and for it to be the 2nd of January.
I hate shopping + i hate spending time with extended family = christmas.

BEAT · 21-12-2005 7:54pm

so you are asking Sarky Claus for a knock on the head so your unconscious for the holidays?
I think bad Sarky claus can do that. . .

Le Rack · 21-12-2005 10:26pm

can we do a bit of a time warp and get our pressies and then move forward to January 6th??? ANy chance???

homah_7ft · 21-12-2005 10:57pm

Can you please arrange it so that a feel good film is screened on television over the christmas period?

Sarky · 22-12-2005 12:54pm

/me flings empty whisky bottle at BEAT

BEAT · 22-12-2005 1:28pm

mmmm whiskey...

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 5:06pm

BEAT wrote:

mmmm whiskey...

Empty though. He's a nasty santa.

BEAT · 22-12-2005 5:08pm

ya..thats why we luvs him

he chucks bottles at us and whips us...

*sigh*
why cant Sarky Claus visit us every day

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 5:27pm

Are you not frightened by his, albeit seasonal, mood swings? Will Sarky Claus deliver?

madrab · 22-12-2005 5:31pm

i heard he he delivers too quickly

*ducks from flying bottle*

Le Rack · 22-12-2005 5:32pm

stop worring homah, you'll get your meat!

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 5:36pm

Le Rack wrote:

stop worring homah, you'll get your meat!

Is that a good thing? It really depends what meat you are referring to.

BEAT · 22-12-2005 5:37pm

Le Rack wrote:

stop worring homah, you'll get your meat!

hey! thats MY meat..heh

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 5:41pm

Oh no I'm going to be forever associated with meat. :eek:

Le Rack · 22-12-2005 5:41pm

it's true... the first four posts I seen by you contained the words, "Bag of meat" so yup, you are the meat boy

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 5:46pm

Once you don't start throwing coins at me and saying, "Dance meatboy dance". Could be worse maybe.

Le Rack · 22-12-2005 5:48pm

I actually got some weird imagery! I was just working on a local stage production of Scrooge and you know the way there's a whole lot of trudging through snow in that well I got this image of some bloke dressed in rags dragging around sacks of meat. In the snow! Twas funny!

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 5:53pm

Le Rack wrote:

I actually got some weird imagery! I was just working on a local stage production of Scrooge and you know the way there's a whole lot of trudging through snow in that well I got this image of some bloke dressed in rags dragging around sacks of meat. In the snow! Twas funny!

It's the right time of the year for it. I will go and collect my turkey tomorrow and you never know it might snow. I can definately manage the trudge. I do a good trudge.

Le Rack · 22-12-2005 5:56pm

it was funny... but it was like a big sack thing, ya know those ones made of that kinda straw-ey material? And you could kinda see through it, and it looked like lots of steaks and legs... I have a vivid imagination...

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 6:03pm

Yeah I know the ones you are talking about now. Made of sack cloth. I like your thinking. Hope the play goes well. Who are you in it?

BEAT · 22-12-2005 6:41pm

hey, get a room will ya.

thread highjackers!

back to Sarky Claus naughtiess Or Ill send you both to Heaven!

Sparky · 22-12-2005 6:49pm

What would one BEAT be doing in Sarky's Magic Pants?

BEAT · 22-12-2005 7:00pm

What I do with Sarkys magic pants is between me and the pants.:p

Sparky · 22-12-2005 8:42pm

BEAT wrote:

What I do with Sarkys magic pants is between me and the pants.:p

Oh i see....

no pun intended....

ill wash my eyes anyway

BEAT · 22-12-2005 8:58pm

a puppy can cure anything

homah_7ft · 22-12-2005 10:23pm

BEAT wrote:

hey, get a room will ya.

thread highjackers!

back to Sarky Claus naughtiess Or Ill send you both to Heaven!

Point taken. Apologies. Dear Sarky Claus please send Beat your pants to make her happy again. Oh yeah and a bottle of whiskey. Full this time.

Le Rack · 23-12-2005 1:14pm

Dear Sarky Claus, please bring BEAT a years supply of lagans of whiskey, and don't forget your paddle.

(pssst! I work for the theatre)

jezza · 23-12-2005 2:14pm

homah_7ft · 23-12-2005 2:23pm

Sarky Claus you really make christmas special. :v:

BEAT · 23-12-2005 2:33pm

he makes more than xmas special for the naughty girls...
waka waka :v:

Le Rack · 23-12-2005 2:33pm

I could put such a pun on myself....but I'm not going to!

homah_7ft · 23-12-2005 2:42pm

Does Sarky Claus have any helpers? Are they evil elfish creatures? So many questions.

BEAT · 23-12-2005 2:46pm

Sarky Claus is a giant amongst men helpers? helpers? he dont need no stinkin' helpers ...

homah_7ft · 23-12-2005 2:48pm

So he works alone then. What kind of suit does he wear?

Sarky · 23-12-2005 3:27pm

One woven from the skins of destitute orphans and little matchstick girls, why?

homah_7ft · 23-12-2005 4:07pm

I just wanted to know if it was true that what you carried around in your sack was orphans.

Le Rack · 26-12-2005 4:02pm

ANd the matches of the little girls... hold on don't they usually freeze to death thereofre making their skin a bit to stiff to make suits out off???
They may just make decent boots....

homah_7ft · 26-12-2005 6:15pm

Dear Sarky Claus, you never brought me a wallet made out of the finest orphan girl leather.

Le Rack · 26-12-2005 6:16pm

And that hat you gave me! It was made of silk goddamn!

homah_7ft · 26-12-2005 6:24pm

You brought someone a hat! Where's my hat?

Le Rack · 26-12-2005 6:25pm

but it was a silk hat!

homah_7ft · 26-12-2005 6:31pm

That was indeed a fly in the ointment. Just how evil is Sarky Claus.

Le Rack · 26-12-2005 6:31pm

oh he's evil!

homah_7ft · 26-12-2005 6:36pm

I wonder if he is more evil at christmas.

Le Rack · 26-12-2005 6:38pm

Well I met him in august so perhaps!

sprinkles · 26-12-2005 7:50pm

Sarky clause left me nothing. Not even a sore ar$. To say the least I'm disappointed.

Dear Sarky Clause

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