The Knacktivity

muckwarrior

[Adapted for a Dublin audience:]

Dere's dis boord called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin. (Stop laughin'.)

She's not married or nuttin', but she's got dis felleh, Joe, righ'? He does
joinery an' all dah. Mary lives with him in a flah dowwen in Nazareh.

One day, Mary meets dis yungfelleh Gabriel. She's like, "Wha' are you
bleedin' lookin' ah?"

Gabriel just goes, "You're fookin' pregnant, so yeh are".

Mary's scarleh. She gives him a fookin' earful: "Are you bleedin' startin'?
I'm no fookin' sluh. I never bin wih no one!"

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.

Liz is on a mad buzz, bud. She's filled with spirits - Barcardi Breezers an'
all dah. She sez te Mary, "Ah howeyeh, Mary, I can feel me chisler in me
stummick and I reckon I'm well blessed. Tink of all deh money we'll be
gettin' from deh social."

Mary goes "Yeah, s'pose you're righ'."

Mary an' Joe haven't goh a fookin' bean so dey have to ponce a donkey, an'
go dowwen ta Behlehem on dah.

Dey get to dis boozer an' Mary wants ta stop, yeah? To have her yungfelleh
an' all dah.

But dey won't let dem inta de inn, righ'? So, Mary an' Joe break inta dis
garridge, only it's filled wih animals. Cowiz an' sheep an' all dah.

Den dese tree lads tourn up, lookin' bleedin' rapih, wih crowens on deyre
heads an' all dah'. Dey're like, "Ah Jaysis, howeyeh!" an' say dey're deh
tree wiyiz men from de East Wall.

Joe goes, "If you're so bleedin wiyiz, den wha de fook are yiz doin' wih dis
Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why didn't yiz just bring gold, 20 Blue and
Boorberry?"

It's all about ta kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got
anudder message from dis Lord hardchaw.

He's like, "Deh coppers is comin an' dey're killin' all de chislers. Yiz
better fook off ta Egypt."

Joe goes, "You must be fookin' off yer bleedin' rocker if yeh tink I'm goin'
te fookin' Egypt on a fookin' donkey."

Gabriel sez, "Suit yerself, bud. But it's your look out if yeh stay."

So they go dowwen teh Egypt till dey've stopped killin' deh foorst-born an'
all an' annyways it's safe an' dah.

Den Joe and Mary an' Jesus go back to Nazareh, an' Jesus turns water inteh
Dutch Gold.

cheap sheep

you sad bastard

muckwarrior

cheap sheep wrote:

you sad bastard

Says the guy with nerds √16 ever in his sig :rolleyes:
(And you're only a wannabe nerd if you can't even figure out how to write a √ symbol)

GLaDOS

How many of these are gonna get posted!!!!

muckwarrior

ScienceNerd wrote:

How many of these are gonna get posted!!!!

Well I done a search and went through the last 2 pages of the forum before I posted, what more do you expect? And before you point out the other one, that was posted after this.

liamskater

good good i like eh'!

simu

Good stuff!

PlayaFlow

OMG , that was hillarious!!! ...especially when u get your chinesse flat mate to read it out loud !!!!

thanks for that

muckwarrior

"Ah Jaysis, howeyeh!"

That bit made me lol.

Stabshauptmann

muckwarrior wrote:

Well I done a search and went through the last 2 pages of the forum before I posted, what more do you expect? And before you point out the other one, that was posted after this.

get that man a can of coke!

Riamfada

fantastic . played mucker

joseph brand

Very good.

Had voices of the 'Trolly Dollies' from radio years ago in me head reading that.

rymus

supoib! I shall recount that later as a party trick of sorts

nanook

I'm gonna go with the origional verdict. that was baaaaaddddddddd.

but i have to congratulate you on the translation technique.

Tar.Aldarion

nanook wrote:

I'm gonna go with the origional verdict. that was baaaaaddddddddd.

Watch out man, that's a permanently bannable offence and my dear northwest mod needs to be protected!