how do they test for STIs?

LegacyUser

hey,

I'm not particularly worried that I have an STI or anything, as I have no signs that might indicate this (and I've not exactly been slutting around), but I'm just wondering, how is it doctors test for STIs/STDs? Some time in the future I might decide to go and get checked up just to be safe/sure, and I'd like to know what I'd be looking forward to.

I've heard (although I can't remember where from or when) that they stick a cotton bud up your urethra and test that. But would it not make more sense to have you ejaculate into a container and then test that -- less discomfort, and more sample to test?

Thanks folks

(I'm a bloke btw)

AARRRGH

Blood.
Urine.
Swab from inside your dick!

Men normally get symptoms from bacterial infections.

One thing:

I have a friend. She's a prostitute. You wouldn't know it from meeting her. She has slept with hundreds of men. She currently has 4 boyfriends.

I have an ex-flatmate. She has slept with possibly 1000 - 2000 men, easily. She never used condoms. You wouldn't think she was a slapper by meeting her.

Not trying to make you paranoid, but how do you know you haven't slept with a girl like the above? Slutting around has little to do with it. It only takes one!!!

LegacyUser

well I'm a virgin, for one thing

Do they do all 3 of those things? Or just one? Does it depend on what disease they think you have?

Nevyn

They will ask about your sexual history and will not be likly to test some one who claims to be a virgin. You should go talk to your Dr if you have questions.

AARRRGH

notloggedin wrote:

well I'm a virgin, for one thing

Do they do all 3 of those things? Or just one? Does it depend on what disease they think you have?

OK, well we can be fairly confident you're sexually healthy so!

You choose what they test you for.

For example, if you say "I only want to be tested for Chlymadia" they'll only take a swab and (possibly) a urine test. If you only want to be tested for HIV they'll only take a blood test. But it's normal to get everything tested for... (the choice is yours though!!)

Nevyn

There are STI that you can get from gentail contact which need not stop you
being a virgin, ie gentail warts, crabs really you should ask your Dr if you have concerns.

AARRRGH

There isn't a test for genital warts unfortunately. Although you'd know if you have them! (same with crabs.)

rsynnott

You can also get syphilis from kissing, apparently, though it's not hugely common.

LegacyUser

Well, I've been a few times. There are a few different tests.

One is the blood test, fairly straightforward.
Another is a swab from your tongue. I didn't expect this. Turns out I had some virus which they say is very common. Had to take tablets for it.
Another test is a swab from under the foreskin, straightforward.
Another is the urine test.
The last I had was where they stick a swab down your penis. This is uncomfortable and it hurts when you take a pee for the next 24 hours. "Pissing razorblades" is an expression that comes to mind.

I can't remember what each of the tests are for, but they covered everything.
Results are usually ready in under a week.

the_menace

dublindude wrote:

I have an ex-flatmate. She has slept with possibly 1000 - 2000 men, easily. She never used condoms. You wouldn't think she was a slapper by meeting her.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. You mightn't be able to tell she's a slapper by meeting her but I'd say all you need to do is scratch the surface to spot some huge mental instabilities. If you're not talking utter rubbish and you do actually know someone like this, pull her aside and tell her to use condoms FFS.

AARRRGH

the_menace wrote:

If you're not talking utter rubbish and you do actually know someone like this, pull her aside and tell her to use condoms FFS.

I'm not taking the piss and I have pulled her aside for not wearing condoms (many times.) She doesn't care (and that's putting it nicely!)

Disturbing.

el tel

dublindude wrote:

I have a friend. She's a prostitute. You wouldn't know it from meeting her. She has slept with hundreds of men. She currently has 4 boyfriends.

I have an ex-flatmate. She has slept with possibly 1000 - 2000 men, easily. She never used condoms. You wouldn't think she was a slapper by meeting her.

Your friend or ex-flatmate might be my current flatmate! She's had a man a month* this year (some of them famous in Ireland). She's very glam but not overtly slapper-looking and at one stage I suspected she might have been moonlighting as an escort - she lives well beyond her means. I think the only protection she uses is the burglar alarm.

edit: *usually three or four of them would be on the go at any given time

AARRRGH

el tel wrote:

She's had a man a month this year (some of them famous in Ireland).

I actually think a man a month is perfectly acceptable.

But 3 or 4 (or more) men per week...? :eek:

Anyway, this is a discussion for another day...

the_menace

dublindude wrote:

I actually think a man a month is perfectly acceptable.

But 3 or 4 (or more) men per week...? :eek:

Anyway, this is a discussion for another day...

And she never wear condoms? Has she been for an AIDS test? Has she ever been tested? If not, and she's slept with that many people unprotected, then she definitely has at least one disease. By the law of averages, she's probably caught scores of diseases at this stage. She needs testing, she needs a psychiatrist and she needs to get her life together before the sex kills her. Which it will if she keeps going the way she's going.

Mind you, I'm not buying it. To sleep with 1000 people, she's need to have slept with 3 or 4 people a week for about like 6 years. The words 'spunk' and 'bucket' come to mind :eek:

layke

dublindude wrote:

OK, well we can be fairly confident you're sexually healthy so!

You choose what they test you for.

For example, if you say "I only want to be tested for Chlymadia" they'll only take a swab and (possibly) a urine test. If you only want to be tested for HIV they'll only take a blood test. But it's normal to get everything tested for... (the choice is yours though!!)

Had ye olde Chlymedia test last year, my gf at the time told me during her swab test they found it.

So off I went to St.James, after a 3 hour wait I was adited. I got a swab, blood and a urine sample. All tests came back neg (thank jebus). Today you get an all in one. The test was free too. However the 1st time you go requires an appointment and a 3-5 hour wait. The second time round it's within the hour.

G/l

AARRRGH

the_menace wrote:

And she never wear condoms? Has she been for an AIDS test? Has she ever been tested? If not, and she's slept with that many people unprotected, then she definitely has at least one disease. By the law of averages, she's probably caught scores of diseases at this stage. She needs testing, she needs a psychiatrist and she needs to get her life together before the sex kills her. Which it will if she keeps going the way she's going.

Mind you, I'm not buying it. To sleep with 1000 people, she's need to have slept with 3 or 4 people a week for about like 6 years. The words 'spunk' and 'bucket' come to mind :eek:

She's never been tested. I think she already knows what the result is (it seems to spur her on to have more sex - it's a long story.)

I assure you she has been having a lot of sex for a long time (she's not the age of a typical boardser.)

I agree she needs a psychiatrist. I'd even go as far as saying she needs some serious jail time.

the_menace

dublindude wrote:

She's never been tested. I think she already knows what the result is (it seems to spur her on to have more sex - it's a long story.)

I assure you she has been having a lot of sex for a long time (she's not the age of a typical boardser.)

I agree she needs a psychiatrist. I'd even go as far as saying she needs some serious jail time.

Okay, now you're talking crap mate. If she DOES have HIV then she's infecting about 25% of the men who are showing up with it in Ireland (about 1 every two days) and about 70% of them are from sub-Saharan Africa. Either that or she isn't infected. Which I very much doubt if she's screwed that many people unprotected. If this mysterious uber-shagger does exist, the onus is on you to get her pic online for all to see, tell your friends, tell strangers and make sure nobody goes near this women. Because she's undoubtedly the dirtiest whore who EVER lived.

the_menace

PS - can I have her phone number. She's obviously up for it.

Victor

On topic!

dublindude, the_menace banned.

Third_Echelon

Unregstered wrote:

The last I had was where they stick a swab down your penis. This is uncomfortable and it hurts when you take a pee for the next 24 hours. "Pissing razorblades" is an expression that comes to mind.

Friend of a friend went to get this done today. He said it was the most terrible pain that he had ever experienced.... ever!

Poor bloke could hardly walk for the day.... :eek:

Agent Smith

i had it done for a bladder Infection



i have felt your pain....

i always thought they just took a blood sample....

LegacyUser

Yes, I agree - brace yourself when they stick that serated cocktail stick down your japs eye. It goes in ok but when its taken back out... owwwww! Didnt seem to last long though - was walking straight within the hour

Joking aside though - its worth having done, once a year or so, depending on your circumstances.

Lex Luthor

notloggedin wrote:

I've heard (although I can't remember where from or when) that they stick a cotton bud up your urethra and test that.

Ya, sounds about right...and they do it 3 times and on the last time they say, "now this one is the one that will hurt....."
takes about 2-3 mins. and yes it hurts espcially when they take it back out....
The blood sample is for the HIV test.