This is why he's the King

Mr.Nice Guy

There's a great selection of Jerry 'The King' Lawler quotes on NODQ.com:

http://nodq.com/features/135043306.shtml

Some of my favourites:

Jerry: Tonight on the King's Court, I will be talking to Bret "The Hitman Hart. You know, the guy with those Jurassic Park parents. You know Stu Hart is so old, I told him to act his age, so he dropped dead and Helen Hart, well, she was just born old. When she was a teenager, her acne had liver spots.

Vince McMahon: Jake "The Snake" Roberts is trying to tell people not to drink and drive...

Jerry: (Interrupts) C'mon McMahon. The only reason why Jake "The Snake" Roberts doesn't drink & drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink

Jerry: Hey McMahon, why don't Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson ask if they can borrow Jake "The Snake's" tag team partner.

Vince McMahon: Who's that?

Jerry: Jack Daniels! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Jerry: Hey McMahon, why don't you get Jake "The Snake" Roberts down here? Ha! Ha!

Vince McMahon: Oh, you think you are real funny.

Jerry: I want to talk to him. I want to ask him how the food was at the Betty Forbes clinic.

Legend!:D

gm1984

This post has been deleted.

Lita Forever

Lol! Those were funny. I remember once when Cactus jack was cutting a promo
and he said " do you know what I've got? " King goes " One ear! "

Lol, simple but hillarious. Although some of the things King says annoys me ( like shouting for puppies during a women's match) he can be dead hillarious when he wants to be.

yak_kadafi

king used to real ****in funny...as of late though hes not that funny...
those quotes were pretty damn funny though..

Charlie

King has always been very witty, but he was funniest when he was a heel commentator. He would say the snidest remarks which were brillant. However as long as coach is on the announce team king can't really employ that kind of humour, as coach is being pushed as the heel commentator (a job at which he sucks at).

Mr.Nice Guy

I agree with charlie. King is funniest when he has a mean streak about him. Nowadays he's basically a useless figure as Coach gets to play the heel commentator. Here's some more great quotes from The King from his heel commentator days:

Vince McMahon: Stu Hart recently turned 80...

Jerry: hehehe...

Vince McMahon: Go ahead, make a smart comment like you always do. Go ahead!

Jerry: Have you ever heard that when someone gets older, that they try to act younger?

Vince McMahon: Yes, so what?

Jerry:Well Stu Hart must really believe that because now he is starting to wear diapers.

Vince McMahon: I'm attempting to get Jake "The Snake" Roberts on the phone right now.

Jerry: What are you going to do McMahon? Tell him that you're a bar tender?

Jerry: Savio Vega is taking more shots than Jake "The Snake" does during happy hour.

They should get rid of Coach from the announce booth and let King be the heel again.

Fozzy

He used to be good. Now he just sounds like a pervert when he tries to be funny. Anyone seen the Jake Roberts DVD? Jerry says in it that he didn't realise how serious Jake's problems were at the time, and he seems a bit upset about some comments he made. Heyman was much better than him when he quit

Lita Forever

Speaking of sounding like a pervert, have you read Lawler's book Fozzy?

In one of the chapters he describes in detail which WWE Divas he wants to have sex with. That just creeped me out. Actually creepy isn't even the word.

J.R.HARTLEY

who's betty forbes, did she set up a rehab for people addicted to economics

Fozzy

Lita Forever wrote:

Speaking of sounding like a pervert, have you read Lawler's book Fozzy?

No, and having heard that..I think I'll be staying well clear....

Although I'm sure fans of his would enjoy it, seeing as most of them are probably perverts themselves;)

Lita Forever

What, the same fans that chant " we want puppies" when the women are busting their asses to put on a show for them? Yeah, I'd say Lawler is something of a god to them alright. Lol.

Charlie

The man's a god to me, look at what age he was when he was dating the Kat. But seriously the whole thing about him being fixed on puppies etc is an exaggeration of his real life personalty, he's just acting in character. If you've ever heard him speak outside of kayfabe, you'll know he is very soft spoken and actually quite a gent. From 1996-1999 he cracked me up. I remember when he was semi-feuding with yamaguchi san(probably sppelt wrong) the manager of keantai, he said the funniest things about yamaguchi san's wife.

Lita Forever

So I suppose his autobiography, which is supposed to be his real life story, is written in kayfabe too?

And the way Lawler always seems to be with a blonde thats a least half his age, is that kayfabe too?

Don't get me wrong, I think Lawler can be funny sometimes. In his autobiography, he does come across as a decent person, and yes even sensitive at times. But the fact is, his fascination with younger woman seems like a real life characteristic to me. Of course, it's his business. But I don't need to be reminded of it every Monday night, when I'm trying to enjoy a wrestling match.

Charlie

Lita Forever wrote:

And the way Lawler always seems to be with a blonde thats a least half his age, is that kayfabe too?

What I meant was that, sure Lawler has a fascination with younger women, but hey 90% of men his age also would if they knew the women were interested back at them. But when you hear him scream puppies, thats vince telling him to do so, multiplying Lawlers real personalty tenfold. Do you think when Lawler is sitting restaurant and a busty waitress is bringing him his order, he breaks out and starts screaming puppies!?! The man was a perfect compliment to J.R's clean cut son of a gun role. And seriously don't believe everything portrayed in WWE published "autobiographies", its in vince's best interest to "sex up" the party in question. If you've ever read The Nature Boy's autiobiography you'll know that the alleged feud between him and mick foley was over exaggerated with a view to a possible match between him and mick. Foley has personally come out and stated this himself.

Lita Forever

I get what your saying. I've read Flairs autobiography. But ever before Flair came to be in WWE and this feud became a possibility,there was heat between the two. I have to belive, knowing Flair, that something negative about Foley would have made it in there regardless.

Also, I realise, that much like DVD profiles and such, WWE autobiographies can be propoganda. But I also believe that there's at least SOME bit of realism to them. There's no smoke without fire right?

Many WWE gimmicks are an extension of the performers own personality. That is often why they are so convincing. Although I realise that the WWE commentators have characters to play, if Jerry Lawler is pretending to constantly perv at the women because Vince is telling him too, he's doing a damn good job of it.

Charlie

Lita Forever wrote:

I get what your saying. I've read Flairs autobiography. But ever before Flair came to be in WWE and this feud became a possibility,there was heat between the two. I have to belive, knowing Flair, that something negative about Foley would have made it in there regardless.

Also, I realise, that much like DVD profiles and such, WWE autobiographies can be propoganda. But I also believe that there's at least SOME bit of realism to them. There's no smoke without fire right?

Many WWE gimmicks are an extension of the performers own personality. That is often why they are so convincing. Although I realise that the WWE commentators have characters to play, if Jerry Lawler is pretending to constantly perv at the women because Vince is telling him too, he's doing a damn good job of it.

I know that there was heat between them in the past, but they settled that between the two of the. However WWE wanted flair to make it out in the book that there was still major heat between the two, so that they could possibly work a schedule between the two. Do you not remember the story that broke just after the release of the book which stated foley punched flair backstage at an event, later to be denied as a work by foley himself. Secondly, the commentators have earpieces with vince feeding them stuff. Seriously I kid you not. The difference between King and lets say.. Michael Cole is, whilst they are both fantasing about the women in their head's, King is prompted to voclaise it, as it is part of his character.

Lita Forever

Of course I know about the ear pieces Charlie. This isn't some 12 year old mark you're talking to lol.

I know Vince feeds the commentators stuff, but I do believe that Kings character is merely an extension of his real life personality. So I still think he's an old perv. Lol.

dlofnep

Lita Forever wrote:

Speaking of sounding like a pervert, have you read Lawler's book Fozzy?

In one of the chapters he describes in detail which WWE Divas he wants to have sex with. That just creeped me out. Actually creepy isn't even the word.

Nothing creepy about that at all. He's just being honest. I'd bang them all 6 ways from sunday.