Chat up lines...

Sizzler

Anybody ever tried "Do you know where saddle city is?" Some of the reactions are classic...especially when you put the q to a D4 moth !

Shrimp

ha.. I bet you got a funny few reactions.

Pighead

Saddler wrote:

Anybody ever tried "Do you know where saddle city is?" Some of the reactions are classic...especially when you put the q to a D4 moth !

Saddler(3/10,weak username which sounds a bit too country and western)i'm guessing you're still a virgin.Pighead would strongly recommend losing that chat up line if you want to partake in the bumping and grunting activities. Also would recommend using absolutely anything apart from the saddle city line.Even "Hello there,i like saddles"is an improvement.Be lucky buddy

faceman

Pighead wrote:

Saddler(3/10,weak username which sounds a bit too country and western)i'm guessing you're still a virgin.Pighead would strongly recommend losing that chat up line if you want to partake in the bumping and grunting activities. Also would recommend using absolutely anything apart from the saddle city line.Even "Hello there,i like saddles"is an improvement.Be lucky buddy

Faceman disagrees my pighead friend. Even peter kay himself would like to know how to get to saddle city! If only he knew it was in the backseat of me '92 micra every sat nite at the back of the airport!!! Ehhhh actually ignore that last line!!

How about "You look like a laser. Set to stunning!"

Vikings

Can this thread be locked now? Before it gets any worse ...

Funkstard

It could have been good if Pighead hadn't gone and wrecked it with his complete lack of humour

faceman

It can always get worse:

"Love your eyes are like 2 spoons of the pacific ocean".

sterculelum

Some of my own personal favs include:

"Grab your jacket, you scored".

"You take dick, right?"

"Oh I'm so tired, do you mind if I rest my head in your heaving bosom?"

"Wait a minute, you have a cu*t right?"

"So you're a girl, huh?"

"I bet you €10 my dick won't fit in your mouth".

and the excellent foolproof:

"Ahoy there, fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?"

Classic.

Dave

You've got a beautiful face, it'd look better at the end of my knob though.

ishnid

or . . .

Y'know, when I was a girl, I used to go for guys like me.

Jesper

pah the lot of ye.
Best one ever!
What winks and ****s like a Lion?
When she looks puzzles throw her a wink!
Humour, cheeky, suggestive, sexy I could go on

joejoem

Do you mind if I talk to you until its safe back where I farted?

air_vent

Teh best im my opinion is get an ice cube throw it infront of her without looking at her stand on it and crush it while looking up and give a smile and say

"Now the ice is broken , whats your name?"

Class it never works but the reactions are class

joe_chicken

joejoem wrote:

Do you mind if I talk to you until its safe back where I farted?

lol... haha... thats funny

they certainly like the gaseous gentleman... i can vouche for that

petes

joejoem wrote:

Do you mind if I talk to you until its safe back where I farted?

Classy.


Hows your bely for a lodger?
Want to go halvers on a bastard?


Go up to girl who is wearing pants.

Boy: Would you like to dance?

Girl: No

Boy: Im sorry you did'nt hear me. I said. You look fat in them pants.

Walk away with slap across jaw.

SeanPuddin

the word of the day is legs, lets go home and spread the word..

quon

I've heard a few...

"You're parents must be retarded, cos you're real special!"

I remember some fella being asked what his best line was and he said "I just explain to them that I've a nine inch tongue and can breathe through me ears"

Lord Nikon

"Vodka, RedBull. Love"

OFDM

Saddler wrote:

Anybody ever tried "Do you know where saddle city is?"

OFDM does not get it. OFDM would like someone to explain.

JustCoz

Anybody ever tried "Do you know where saddle city is?"

That's hilarious! I think I'd just laugh!

When I was away over the summer, my friend dared me to say a cheesey chat-up line to some guy (there was drink involved). So I found a cute guy in the bar we were in, thinking I don't care I'm never gonna see him again,went over and looked at the label of his shirt and said, "just as I thought, made in heaven!"

It was funny til I found out that he was staying in the same hotel as me and I had to see him about 5 more times (sober) before the weekend was over!

Cringe!!

lazylad

You're eyes are like the front bus. Everytime I take the bus I prefer to ride my car.

Love

Worst ones ever used on me:

"I have a tractor. Will you go out with me?"

"If you say yes I'll leave yer ma alone!"

*shudder*


Also, there was that time where some guy nearly drenched me with a power hose while I was out walking my dog... and then tried to get my number! Smooth...

Siogfinsceal

"wanna play army? i 'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me"

" I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day"

"beauty is only a lightswitch away"

"wanna help me find my lost puppy? I think he headed towards this cheap hotel room..."

tman

Siogfinsceal wrote:

"wanna play army? i 'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me"

better still...
"Hi, I'm in the army. its my job to blow up cúnts... can i blow up yours?"

Maccattack

Heard this one. Doubt it'd work...


Wet the tip of yr finger with yer toungue and touch the girl/boy on the shoulder with the wet finger then say 'You should get out of those wet clothes'.

Stoopid init.

chillywilly

this one naver fails.....to amuse:

if you were a new hamburger in McDonalds you would be McGorgeous!!!

bogins

This i=one goes down a treat when ur in a que in burger king.


Q. "do u like chicken?"
A. "yes"
R. "then taste my cock its foul!!!"

any lad who used any of these on me would be gettin laughed at !!!:)

joejoem

Excuse me for interupting,
I'm not trying to make a pass
but you must be leaving the country
if your packing that much ass

jimbling

sterculelum wrote:

"Ahoy there, fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?"

dear god.. classy....i actually let out a yelp .... with my boss sitting at the computer across the way - i had to make something up quick smart to explain what I was laughing at :eek:

supposedly this is the one liner that has the best chance of a response (one that you'd want anyway )

"Well here I am! What are your other two wishes?" - said in a smooth manner with the eyes twinkling

Scarinae

Are you a parking ticket?! Cos you've got FINE written all over you!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Nice legs, what time do they open?

If love were an alphabet, I'd put you and I together

I'm a necrophiliac, wanna play dead?

(I would never use any of these lines by the way, I'm just contributing)

Tar.Aldarion

Ok a glimpse into my stock pile of lines that never fail.

Scarinae

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Ok a glimpse into my stock pile of lines that never fail.

I've got the body of a Chippendale,.... he's buried under the patio at home

???

Tar.Aldarion

You know what a chippendale is right?
if you don't. let's say they are considered to be hot guys with a great body.
I have a great body, it's buried under my house.

Nightwish

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Ok a glimpse into my stock pile of lines that never fail.

then how come your single:p

Scarinae

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

You know what a chippendale is right?
if you don't. let's say they are considered to be hot guys with a great body.
I have a great body, it's buried under my house.

Oh that makes a lot more sense... For some reason I was thinking of a kids cartoon about chipmunks...

Tar.Aldarion

Nightwish wrote:

then how come your single:p

because if I can get the girl with those lines, they are not a keeper

butters scotch

is that a mirror in your knickers? because i can see myself in your knickers tonight...:rolleyes:

CelticChick

Funniest one used on me was

Anyone ever tell you your eyes are like spanners- Everytime I look into them my nuts tighten!