Learning not to be nice

Siogfinsceal

Im a nice person well i try to be but lately I have learned that being nice doesnt get you as far sometimes. For example I recently had a problem getting broadband- rang up several times being nice and got nowhere. Eventually I got angry and was given my money back (I had been charged for something I didnt use!). Recently rang a night club asking for a VIP card similar to one my friend had been sent out free. I was told they were only for selected customers. i explained that I was a loyal, frequent customer- no use. Then I explained that I am a regular,loyal customer who will not be comign back as a friend who has been twice has been given a VIP card and I havent. Result? - I had a card in the post the next week.
Why is it that you often have to resort to being angry and forceful to companies in order to get any action/resolution/attention for them? I work in customer service type role and I woul dmuch rather sort out a problem for a polite , reasonable customer than a rude angry one but this does not seem to be the case for other companies.

super_furry

It seems to be the only way to deal with 'customer service'. They want as quiet a life as possible so if you kick up a stink they'll usually do whatever they can just to get rid of you.

joe_chicken

Its simply a case of not wanting the hassle... the more time you spend hassling someone the more time they cant do other things...

most of the time its just cheaper and less time consuming to just give in, especially when its a manager or someone high up.

Siogfinsceal

yup if you cause a fuss the lower level rep panics and gets the manager on the phone and you get a result grrrr nice people dont get to speak to the managers. when i worked in tech support for a diff company I hated how the manager would give free support to the scorpiest ciustomers - most of them hadnt even paid so it was just teaching them to keep up the sh*t attitude. Worst of all Id have said no, the manager would say yes and then i woudl have to back track.
my own attitude is that if someone is nice on the phone I will sort out everything straight away,. Rude/scorpy/arrogant people I have no time for and I will actually do less to help them. One guy was totally abusive one day

xzanti

Well I dont think Im a very nice person so Id be trying to go the other way tbh

seamus

There's the problem. Back in customer service, if a caller was genuinely nice and understanding, I would go out of my way to get them what they want, but if they were a complete prick they'd get whatever they want, faster.

Many in CS won't even acknowledge if you're nice, only if you're a prick.

joe_chicken

Siogfinsceal wrote:

Worst of all Id have said no, the manager would say yes and then i woudl have to back track.

Me: "I'm really sorry, but thats company policy, I cant help you!"
Customer: "Let me speak to the manager, you obviously dont have a clue"
Me: "To be honest if you talk to a manager they're gonna say pretty much exactly what I'm saying"
....10 minutes later after repeating this a couple more times
Customer: "ARGHHH... ROARRR... RARARA... TAKE YOU TO COURT... blah blah blah"
/me ... calmly puts headset down and gets manager
Manager: "Whats that? Ahh! OK... I'm really sorry for the trouble, of course you can have <XYZ>"
/me ... sits down calmly and makes a mental note to refund everybody who even thinks about complaining from now on

Siogfinsceal

xzanti dont get me wrong im no saint ;-) I just never used to lose my temper unless I had to. Now ive learnt to just get stroppy as soon as I get on the phone which is sad really but it gets things sorted

Sleepy

Another support person here. Anyone logging a call with our team would be a contact person from our client base so we'd deal with the same people all the time. With us, anyone who doesn't act like a prick tends to get much better service because we'll pick up their call logs faster and have a large degree of personal flexibility when it comes to prioritising our issues list.

There is one customer I've actually "barred" from my call list (and a few others I avoid though not to the same extent). Anything she logs, no matter if I'm the only person here who has a detailed knowledge of that area of the system, I will not accept. I'll gladly help whoever does take the call but it won't be a priority for me.

So, in certain circumstances, it will always be the nice people who win

xzanti

Siogfinsceal wrote:

xzanti dont get me wrong im no saint ;-) I just never used to lose my temper unless I had to. Now ive learnt to just get stroppy as soon as I get on the phone which is sad really but it gets things sorted

Ah yeah I know what you mean, people tend to respond quicker when theres a threat that you might complain about them I think

Angels

Siogfinsceal wrote:

Im a nice person well i try to be but lately I have learned that being nice doesnt get you as far sometimes. For example I recently had a problem getting broadband- rang up several times being nice and got nowhere. Eventually I got angry and was given my money back (I had been charged for something I didnt use!). Recently rang a night club asking for a VIP card similar to one my friend had been sent out free. I was told they were only for selected customers. i explained that I was a loyal, frequent customer- no use. Then I explained that I am a regular,loyal customer who will not be comign back as a friend who has been twice has been given a VIP card and I havent. Result? - I had a card in the post the next week.
Why is it that you often have to resort to being angry and forceful to companies in order to get any action/resolution/attention for them? I work in customer service type role and I woul dmuch rather sort out a problem for a polite , reasonable customer than a rude angry one but this does not seem to be the case for other companies.

I completely agree with you it has happened to me so many times now!
Im like yourself (reasonably nice chatty person), it goes back to October last year bought a new phone from Carphone Warehouse ( Motarola) , in December the phone started to shut itself down completely so i brought it in to be repaired they said it would be a few weeks, no problem i can handle that. February it finally came back had the phone for a week same problem they sent it off again. Came back the end of march phone seemed fine until i noticed everything had been wiped off the phone (games that were on the phone when i bought it). So me being furious at this stage went back into the shop asked for manager (very nice fellow Full of S****though) & he said they would send it back again & he also suggested i write a letter to manager of customer service 'Carphone Warehouse'
about my troubles with the phone etc. So i did this very nasty letter i wrote cause i was **** sick of this at this stage. Within a week i recieved a letter that there was a brand new phone waiting for me inside the Branch. I was happy with this so i got new phone no problems since. I said in my letter that i work in customer service myself (which i do) & would never treat a customer this badly which i wouldn't so i think this made them think twice about sending back my oldd phone to me!!

Case over & Closed now

But just goes to show that you have to get mad with people in this country to get anywhere!!:)

Linoge

I bought a SE K750i in Pan TV on Camden St. Two weeks later the camera on it stopped working. Lots of patiently waiting to get it fixed later, I was still waiting. After 3 weeks I spoke to the complete asshole of a manager who said he couldn't give me a refund but would replace the phone in another 5 days. Its funny, a few minutes of giving out sh!t changed their policy.

Got my money back, got a new phone that day in CWH.:)

In general it really does come down to the company as to who will take advantage of you being nice.

Siogfinsceal

from now on im only sorting stuff out for nice customers! well...til my boss finds out and starts giving out!

joe_chicken

Best thing to do is put on the fakest nice voice you can think of and be overly nice to people who give you hassle... that just makes them angrier cuz they arent having the desired effect... but they cant do crap cuz you're not abusing them... and then when they curse at you hang up...easy

mysterious

That's all fine said done and well, but not always, to be honest been very fake, gets you far by little, and is quite childish, from my experience if I came across a person who was so childish and fake, you know what you would percieve that person when just leaving or hanging up that phone, People who say that Its cool to do things like that is really sad, oh I'll manipualte or act like a mob to get what I want , It automatically belittles you for thinking like that, it Is a real turn off,:( Its totally different than been just nice or assertive which is what the topic of conversation is about.

And I agree the comments that its othat its perfectly ok to be a bit on the agressive side ( not head butt kicking ) to get things done as some people are just lazy sandbags that need to be screamed and dragged through the phoneline by the hair with your teeth, just to get some action done. ouch the thought of it

joe_chicken

mysterious wrote:

That's all fine said done and well, but not always, to be honest been very fake, gets you far by little, and is quite childish

What?

and second of all... if you've worked in customer support for any amount of time you'll know that being fake is the only way to deal with people who are pissing you off... or else you get fired pretty quickly

Siogfinsceal

shes right you cant lose the rag or you get fired. I find putting a ranter (someone who gets on the phone, starts ranting and roaring and wont allow you to speak) on hold for a minute stops them in their tracks. Or I throw in a question like 'whats your name' and it throws them off track and gets you back in control. I have to be fake (not overly so) and not get angry os I will just get stressed out and angry myself

mysterious

Also I know a girl who is just to nice its really a turn off , and its in no offence as I don't begrudge the girl and never had a problem with her either. and I do think she is lovely but , Its the extreme and it really is awful, for example I know a friend of hers , who is just a friend, she decides to be him a 300 Euro phone knowingly she can't afford it. Now that is just one case of many...and my perception of it is she reallys craves the attention of being nice, and getting compliements "you're so nice and such a sweet person" its gives me goosebumps, aghh:( Anyone know what I'm talkin about?

We all try impress and be nice to people at some stage or another , but we learn quickly to toughen up!

Siogfinsceal

oh god yeah myseterious i kno wpeople liek that myself its sickening. Its so so false. I mean its ok in work if its necessary to keep your cool but outside of work - hell no!! I know one girl who is always like 'helllo - how ARE you' its so feckin fake i know she cant stand me really grrr

joe_chicken

Siogfinsceal wrote:

I find putting a ranter (someone who gets on the phone, starts ranting and roaring and wont allow you to speak) on hold for a minute stops them in their tracks.

yeah.. thats another one... and they have to stop and go "hello?!"

I once got a lady who started with:

"You better f*cking solve my problem, I'm sick of you f*cking bastards"

screaming it down the phone... i asked her to try and calm down.... big mistake

"How dare you!"

She wouldnt give me any of her details and eventualy just hung up on me...

I suppose thats the other end of the scale... dont get too angry

Siogfinsceal

ahhh i love them 'im going to rant and rave and scream and shout but not tell you who I am'

mysterious

joe_chicken wrote:

What?

and second of all... if you've worked in customer support for any amount of time you'll know that being fake is the only way to deal with people who are pissing you off... or else you get fired pretty quickly

I see your point , logically and We all have to put on a face to get on with it,


If there pissing you off, you need to learn what is pissing you off and learn how to contol yourself instead of doing "morphing" A classic phrase for faking it all the time, People respect that I am strong minded and say it as it is, when appropiate.
Btw way I'm studying HR management whic covers all this gunk with people!

There are many ways in dealing with people and I have seen better ways of dealing with people!
Than just been fake all the time as people might not like this, but sooner or later they will lose repect for you, or how this sound if , "you are fake" I'm not saying you are personally , I'm just saying I wouldn't like to label myself that, afterall know one forced you to be fake around people just to get on in costumer service, I deal with people all the time and I'm pretty assertive and forward and fair and yet 80% time I don't have to be fake.:) to get things done.

joe_chicken

mysterious wrote:

There are many ways it dealing with people and I have seen better ways than just been fake all the time as people might not like this, but sooner or later they will lose repect for you

You seem to be really losing the point here!!

I'm talking about when you are dealing with people who already have as little respect for you as possible.. they cant lose anymore

and I can't lie for sh!t in real life

Siogfinsceal

if a customer is nice im always myself and get on great. If a customer is upset but reasonable Iwill have a chat and sort things out. However where someone knows they are wrong and is just being rude to get their own way I end up having to play nice so I dont get mad and say what I think!!

mysterious

Well its tricky working in costumer service, if someone gives you hard time,

take a deeeeeep breath,
and just reflect how you are dealing with unbelievable **** off people

when someone rant and raves, literally don't respond until absaloutly nessescary and also when you respond say something that is not fake but bloody serious like , I'm afraid I having difficulties can you call me back bla bla

or this is a good one "hang up"

or say ok, response agree with them and then just do what you have to do anyway!

Or smile

Or just wait , one of my favourite, when someone rants and raves for maybe five minutes then say are you done yet, in a clear genuine voice, knocks em out like a punch:D

I also know someone who works in a call centre, which can be really streesful, I live with a girl who is in a call cantre, she gets very stressed on some evenings purely from people leaving droppings on you!

mysterious

I get it now, lol,

Siogfinsceal

see what kills me about all of this is that the customers are only acting like that becasue they have learnt that it gets you what you want which is such a pity. If I had a company I would crack down on it. If, when I rang the club, they had been nice and understanding in the first place I would have got my card and been happy - I never would have got stroppy. Same with the broadband If they had just listened to my complaint in the first place and dealt with it there never would have been a problem but as it is I had to yell and send a letter of complaint to get noticed. Bad attitudes are encouraged with companies behaving like this

if I was a CS manager (and hope I will be some day) I would have a policy that everything be dealt with asap, that customers would have no reason to get aggrro,


Ive had customers on teh fone to me fairly p**sed off and by being nice, finding out whats wrong, simply APOLOGISING and recognising that we did something wrong - had them happy in 5 minutes.

joe_chicken

mysterious wrote:

Or just wait , one of my favourite, when someone rants and raves for maybe five minutes then say are you done yet, in a clear genuine voice, knocks em out like a punch:D

have you actually tried that one?!

well, if you have, you're alot braver person than I am...

that'll undoubtedly get a torrent of even worse abuse

mysterious

I have and It worked well, now I meant in a assetive spontanoeous manner not an aggressive tone, as its sharp enough alone to knock the words out of your head in a shouting match.

I did it to a girl who thinks the continents surround her like Pangea as if she the centre of all. takes her toilet papering out on everyone else, she dosent do it to me.

Sometimes its not what you say its how you say it.;)

^CwAzY^

joe_chicken wrote:

Customer: "ARGHHH... ROARRR... RARARA... TAKE YOU TO COURT... blah blah blah"

I must try that..

mysterious

you obviously are looking for attention :rolleyes:

deisedevil

joe_chicken wrote:

Best thing to do is put on the fakest nice voice you can think of and be overly nice to people who give you hassle... that just makes them angrier cuz they arent having the desired effect... but they cant do crap cuz you're not abusing them... and then when they curse at you hang up...easy

LMAO!! Exactly what i do and it def works!!

I'll only go above and beyond for someone if they are being respectful, a0holes who shout and roar and demand and get abusive can get stuffed.

joe_chicken

mysterious wrote:

I have and It worked well, now I meant in a assetive spontanoeous manner not an aggressive tone, as its sharp enough alone to knock the words out of your head in a shouting match.

I did it to a girl who thinks the continents surround her like Pangea as if she the centre of all. takes her toilet papering out on everyone else, she dosent do it to me.

Sometimes its not what you say its how you say it.;)

yes but you've never done it to a customer before.... they dont like it too much...

if you do something like that to somebody you dont know... its very disrespectful... and could definitely get you fired

BobTheBeat

Well done to all the customer service reps! Legends!

Capt'n Midnight

Worst I've heard was a lad who got a 7 minute earache , couldn't get a word in edgeways, and when she finished he had to transfer her to the right dept.

Take the call, let them have their rant - don't interrrupt their party piece, let them blow off all that steam, then say something and put them on hold for a short time - one or two minutes max to look as if you are doing something , they are usually calmer. Works best if you can produce rabbits out of hats*

*major problem with tech support is that if you pull out a rabbit out of an empty hat people expect an infinte number of rabbits since the hat is still empty.

And yes it is majorly irritating when people can scream their way into better support and better plane seats just by being obnoxious. I don't reckon any jury would jail you for dispatching someone who did that ahead of you in the queue.

3greenrizla's

mysterious wrote:

Well its tricky working in costumer service, if someone gives you hard time,

take a deeeeeep breath,
and just reflect how you are dealing with unbelievable **** off people

its great when you get them to apollogise though.

be firm but fair

AARRRGH

joe_chicken wrote:

yes but you've never done it to a customer before.... they dont like it too much...

if you do something like that to somebody you dont know... its very disrespectful... and could definitely get you fired

joe_chicken: please don't tell me you're still in eircom!!!!! :eek: :eek:

joe_chicken

hahah... no dublindude... its only the bitter memories that remain

dundalk cailin

i am too nice for my own good...gotta get some backbone me thinks, cos being nice doenst get u anywhere! my dad ate the head off someone in vodafone cos they wouldnt give me a replacement phone after me sending it back three times, still took him long enough to get what he wanted :mad:

20 Times 20 Times

dundalk cailin wrote:

i am too nice for my own good...gotta get some backbone me thinks, cos being nice doenst get u anywhere! my dad ate the head off someone in vodafone cos they wouldnt give me a replacement phone after me sending it back three times, still took him long enough to get what he wanted :mad:

How i laugh at these customers !

dundalk cailin

well laugh u may but i and my family have been loayl customers of vodafone for over 5 years.. is it too much to expect good customer service?? i ssent my phone away (and of course it takes usually a wekk to come back) they said oh nothing wrong with it, i turn it on, and half a hr later the problem's back, i return, the phone is sent back..and so on...til the third time its given back to me (still not repaired), i think my dad was perfectly correct in demanding a new handset :rolleyes:

20 Times 20 Times

Ok , i worked for both vodafone retail and customer service , they have policy regarding faulty handsets . If there is a fault with the handset and it has been found by the repair company then they will replace the handset , ither wise it just has to be sent off again. NOw shouting at the sales consultant will 90% get you no where believe me .

dundalk cailin

fair enough, but the problem was i was sending it back straihtaway with the same problem, i couldnt fathom how the repair company were returning it, it was obvious that it wasnt fixed!! eventually they said, ah yea your right, we'll send ya on a new one..a month of my life that i could have done much more useful things with!!

Pigman II

There's no point getting mad at CS people. They're just people (mostly young) just doing their jobs and trying to get thru the day with as little as much hassle possible. I doubt screaming/demanding/begging etc is going to get them work any hard or more successfully. In fact I suspect the opposite will happen.

While on the phone, if I that things aren't progressing or I suspect the guy on the phone doesn't know his arse from his elbow and is just winging it I'll find some way to politely end the conversation.

Then I just write a letter. You'll be amazed how quickly things get sorted with those little pieces of black and white material floating around in the ether.

20 Times 20 Times

dundalk cailin wrote:

fair enough, but the problem was i was sending it back straihtaway with the same problem, i couldnt fathom how the repair company were returning it, it was obvious that it wasnt fixed!! eventually they said, ah yea your right, we'll send ya on a new one..a month of my life that i could have done much more useful things with!!

You spent a month in the shop ? remember shit happens , it is how you deal with it , that separates winners from losers. You walk into my shop shouting like that , you would be leaving just as fast.