Click for probably the most pathetic thing you have ever read.

Ok imagine you are a sweaty nerdy 19 year old male who plays world of warcraft constantly.
And for obvious reasons you can't meet girls because girls don't like greasy nerds that spend 8+ hours a day in their parents house playing world of warcraft.

Maybe you need some help..

Perhaps you should post a pathetic 2 page description of how shítty your life is in order to get the girls!

This guy is willing to pay virtual warcraft gold to anyone to set him up with a real life girl. Yep, and as if that isn't pathetic enough check out these nuggets, he really knows how to sell himself to potential lady friends.


Some Highlights

• " I've never once held hands, cuddled, hugged, or even kissed a girl. Ever. Not once in my entire life have I had any form of intimacy. The furthest I have ever gotten with a girl is socialization."
• "My personality is mostly gaming oriented, and that's about it."
• "...I tried to kill myself by jumping off a 3rd story building."

Girls, if I was you I'd hook up with this guy asap :v:

Be sure not to miss the pics that he has posted they are priceless.

Clicky - - > http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.aspx?fn=wow-realm-crushridge&t=129187&p=1&tmp=1#post129187 < - - Clicky

WhiteWashMan

i want a gaming god t-shirt too!

joejoem

Ahhh thats sad. The poor lad

rainbow kirby

Poor guy...
But I'd like a "Gaming Goddess" t-shirt

dahooligan

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA H AH AHA AH AHA AH HA HA AH AH HA... oh my sides are splitting.. oh it hurts so bad

Rhyme

Poor fella, he even included pictures

petes

Mad is the only word that springs to mind.

Pighead

Don't worry about it ronoc buddy.So what if you can't get a girlfriend.At least you have a genuine talent,theres a lot of people out there who are crap at everything.You seem to be a fabulous gamer.
Anyway hopefully this thread will raise the interest levels and maybe bag you a real girl.Onwards and Upwards my friend

joe_chicken

I cant bring myself to click the link... i think i'll die a little inside if i do

[EDIT]
ok... i read it... i felt sympathy for about 5 seconds and then:
"I have a photographic memory, and am highly intelligent, but I suffer two "extremes."
1) I cannot comprehend math beyond a 7th grade level. (Algebra and up = PHAIL!) "

hmm... highly intelligent indeed
[/EDIT]

seamus

Jesus Christ, someone needs to learn how to sugar coat things.

First off he describes his tendency to stalk people and go a little psycho about girls. Then he tells you how mediocre he is, for hundreds of lines, and finally that he's actually got an ego based on intangible or non-real qualities. That'd be great if he was posting on PI, but he's actually trying to score.

No wonder he stills works as a bagpacker. I'd say his CV is a thrilling read.

Fey!

I suddenly feel really good about myself..........

Pighead

Pighead wrote:

Don't worry about it ronoc buddy.So what if you can't get a girlfriend.At least you have a genuine talent,theres a lot of people out there who are crap at everything.You seem to be a fabulous gamer.
Anyway hopefully this thread will raise the interest levels and maybe bag you a real girl.Onwards and Upwards my friend

You a fantastic little troll pighead. Don't ever change

*Lees*

OMG what a stunner!!!! :eek:

Seriously guys... that has to be a joke!! .... if it's not its sooo lousy!!!

dundalk cailin

that is terrrible, i feel so bad that i laughed my head off...for bout 5 seconds!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ionapaul

I'd say it's a joke. It is just too pathetic to be real...right?

Being a hardcore nerd must be such a boring life.

If he were based in Dublin my recommendation would be to go to Fitzsimons in Temple Bar on a Saturday night and put on the strongest Irish accent he could muster...he'd get a kiss or two from a few lovely English girls. Though he does say he wants a relationship, not just action.

Heres another jem from his dating site profile he posted:

"[Get in contact with me]If you have NO GUY INTERACTION. This drives me crazy. Don't make me apart of your life if you're going to speak to 50 billion other guys, hug all over them, hang out with them, etc. I have no girl interaction, and I don't want to be some sort of "secondary focus." Either we are eachothers primary focuses, or don't even bother. "

I supose if his potential girl is as desperate and needy as him they have something in comon right? :v:

Willymuncher

He'd be alright if he got his teeth fixed, thats the only real problem with his appearance, then he'd have some chance.

Femelade

oh lordy....i just shed a teeny weeny tear for that guy..

Shabadu

I don't smile very much, as I have awful teeth:
http://img327.imageshack.us/img327/6259/myteeth0ar.jpg

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rb

ROFL!
After reading this I look like James Bond,the fonze and Mr.T put together in comparison with this guy(even though I'm ultra cool anyway)

I hacked her e-mails / AIM / forum accounts and everything else I could google in order to get revenge.

wtf?Talk about invasion of privacy.I'm surprised he didn't show up every morning to steal her post.

http://img327.imageshack.us/img327/6259/myteeth0ar.jpg

ew.Reminds me of the teeth on those ork guys in LOTR tbh.

After reading that, I'm not surprised he hasn't had any lovin' in his life.

What a nice start to the day

Canis Lupus

His teeth shock and awe me.

And his face seems to sag. I reckon he is really an alien.

EDIT: He also has some strange views on religion "My religion is "custom" or "agnostic" I guess. I believe in many things, but not one thing. Just random stuff like how the world might be some sort of MMORPG and we're just NPC's"

he is a great lad!what the the hell is world of warcraft anyway?

*Oul_Doll_Cork*

This guy is taking the piss big time!!! :rolleyes:

There is no way on earth someone can be that pathetic?... is there? :eek:

dundalk cailin

Shabadu wrote:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

us girls are queueing up to get us some of that mouth

/retches

dundalk cailin

meant to quote the link to his teeth, but i aint lookin at them again!!

Hobbes

He says in the first few lines that he is willing to pay cash for a woman.. whats the problem there? Do they not have escorts where he lives?

Willymuncher

Hobbes wrote:

He says in the first few lines that he is willing to pay cash for a woman.. whats the problem there? Do they not have escorts where he lives?

Don't think they do the whole love thing, and thats what hes looking for.

Rb

Hobbes wrote:

He says in the first few lines that he is willing to pay cash for a woman.. whats the problem there? Do they not have escorts where he lives?

He says

When I say "girlfriend" I don't mean a sex partner. I'm not out for sexual intercourse. I'm out for love.

So I presume he wouldn't go down the road of paying for teh lovin'.
I'd say he'd send even a hooker running scared though tbh.

Nala

He has the most horrendous teeth I have EVER seen.
He REALLY needs to get them fixed. I've had loads more attention since I got mine fixed. Much more confident now too.

Crash

....why didnt i think of this before?

*goes to get me some tail on WoW forums, despite not playing it :P

orangerooster

As for arcades, I'm a professional Tekken 5 player......Unfortunately at arcades, I have yet to impress any women with these skills.......Not only to impress, but to "level up" my stamina.

Man thats the funniest thing I have ever read. How does someone get that odd?

Giblet

The dude has a distorted view on relationships having never been in one. If a woman is his girlfriend he idolises her.
Or else he is just a gimmick. I don't feel sorry for him as he doesn't want to change anything about his life.

Also, his pro gaming bought his PC and his crappy Car!

Sarky

And here I was, clicking on the link, thinking that someone else had discovered the "joys" of The Eye Of Argon. Man, what a bust...

Rb

Nala wrote:

He has the most horrendous teeth I have EVER seen.
He REALLY needs to get them fixed. I've had loads more attention since I got mine fixed. Much more confident now too.

A few posts down he says

Unions sap my income, and my teeth are unfixable.
I brush 3 times a day, visit the dentist once a month. I've done this my entire life. Unfortunately, my teeth are still being disolved by my acidic mouth

Whoever said he's an alien may just be right.

Endurance Man

You see, this is what the hell hole of a game will do to you.

besty

oh my god. i cried that was so funny. did you see his teets ffs? and the photographic memory!ha!

anyways, he reminds me of an even dorkier napoleon dynamite

youcancallmeal

Typical American crap, world revolves around me etc.
Still funny though :v:

TerrorFirmer

The Nerd wrote:

Want real life money? No problem. I'll just mail it / paypal it to you.

Priceless. After saying he'd farm days on end for the virtual gold he adds this gem.

besty

MobileInfantry wrote:

Priceless. After saying he'd farm days on end for the virtual gold he adds this gem.

Too funny!

Another classic;

"The only way you could truly ever crush my spirit and make me feel down is if you qualify for ALL of these:
1) You can beat me at Tekken 5
2) You can beat me at Warcraft 3
3) You can beat me at Diablo 2.
4) You're better than me in real life.
5) You're better than me in WoW.
6) You're basically better than me at gaming in general."

Miss Fluff

He's obviously just a very sad, lonely young bloke with some serious issues.
Leave him to it

eefs

My metabolism is a blessing. I can eat greasy, unhealthy uber fattening junk food all I want and not gain much weight from it. If I work out or do any form of excersize I lose a ton of weight.... fast. So fast it's almost unhealthy. So I don't work out much, cause I don't need to.

Yeah but you've got terrible skin and a face full of spots, man! That's what the bleeding junk food is doing to you.

Scary.

Chucky the tree

he sounds like half the guys who post on this site.

WellyJ

Do you get dental insurance from your employer? Many grocery stores are part of a union, in which case you might get some nice dental benefits. If y ou do, I would recommend first getting your teeth fixxed up. You dont have to look Hollywood but its going to be extremely difficult with a grill like that.

If you were to fix your teeth up, and even start working out, it would be a good first step.

I have a friend that is very much like you, but hes more on the good looking side.

Hahaha,

So mean but so funny,

What a complete loser

bounty_hunter

Gotta love this bit...

I don't smile very much, as I have awful teeth:
http://img327.imageshack.us/img327/6259/myteeth0ar.jpg

Apologies if it's been posted before, which I'm sure it has.

shakaman

Oh lads, I turned every head in the office when I literally pis'ed myself at this one.

Some choice quotes from mr puniverse....

'My metabolism is a blessing. I can eat greasy, unhealthy uber fattening junk food all I want and not gain much weight from it. If I work out or do any form of excersize I lose a ton of weight.... fast. So fast it's almost unhealthy. So I don't work out much, cause I don't need to. '

Your diet = the face which has more pock marks/blotches than the moon

'So if your advice involves getting a drug addiction, going to a bar, or "smoking to look cool" then I will not do it. '

Smoking to look cool, and I was just about to tell him to try that:rolleyes:

What an ubergeek!

Cake Fiend

This guy is clearly a genius. How should a virginal nerd loser who spends his days playing online games, sick of being alone, seek romance? Why, by asking the help of other online game-playing virginal nerd losers of course!

padser

I dont know whether to laugh or cry. Surely, surely if you were posting this for real you wouldnt post on a gaming website? Eh talk about the blind leading the blind

fjon

My religion is "custom" or "agnostic" I guess. I believe in many things, but not one thing. Just random stuff like how the world might be some sort of MMORPG and we're just NPC's, or how people don't go to hell forever, cause that'd be cruel. Just random stuff like that. I call it "Jammnoism." O.o

Oh dear...

Dagnir Glaurung

Why did he land on his feet when he tried to kill himself?

joe_chicken

Does nobody else feel a little guilty about this!?

Its kinda like shooting fish in a barrel!

RasTa

Im in love....