Being sick while on the pill

LegacyUser

This isn't a medical issue I have here, nor is this a cry for help from an ED sufferer (I want this to be clear from the start). I'm just giving a context to my question, please don't start quoting statistics at me about the dangers of vomiting etc. My issue is what to tell my boyfriend about why I don't want to be on the pill anymore
Basically my boyfriend wanted me to go on the pill because it would mean we wouldn't have to use condoms anymore. So I did, and it was fine for a while, but the problem is that I hate putting on weight. He doesn't know it but I do make myself sick sometimes, he knows I have issues with food (I was treated for anorexia as a teenager) but he doesn't know the extent of it because I'm so good at hiding it. Anyway, the pill made me put on a bit of weight and it depresses me and I want to lose weight, I can't diet anymore though because all my family and friends know that I have anorexic tendencies and go mad if I don't eat, so when I feel fat I throw up instead. The problem with being on the pill is I'm terrified that if I throw up it won't work and I'll get pregnant, which I do not want because I'm only 21 and in college and I don't plan to have kids until I've been married a few years. So I started getting sick continuously during my week off the pill, I figured that would be ok, but pregnancy terrifies me so much that I've been making him use condoms anyway. He doesn't know the real reason, I say it's because it's less messy, I don't think he suspects I'm vomiting. He's starting to protest at this stage, saying what's the point in using condoms when it's more expensive and we don't need them since I'm on the pill. I just want to go off the pill and for everything to go back to normal, but I can't think of a reason to give for this. If I say it's because it's making me fat everyone will start watching my eating habits more carefully, I don't want them to do that, I don't want them to make me eat more or to find out that I've been getting sick. It would just complicate stuff and nobody would trust me again. I want to tell my boyfriend, I really do, I feel like I'm hiding so much from him and yet I can't because I know he'd make such a huge thing about it. Can anyone suggest anything I could say to him? Please don't advise telling him because I'm not going to

Nevyn

If you are vomiting then the chances are that you are not protected by the pill.

Go to your gp, explain you sympthoms and maybe look at getting the patch
version of the pill or a differnt pill the are not all the same.
End of the day Your health and welfare comes first and formost and if you
need to get off the pill do it.

IF he questions it at all tell him are are following your dr orders as the your not suited the pill some women just are not.
IF he is THAT worried about pregnacy and the cost of condoms he can go at
a temporay vasectomny.

Any way I do hope you both had a sexual health screening before deciding not
to bother with condoms any more.

passive

umm... well firstly you should really see a doctor or get some proper help regarding the eating disorder. Cos that's really really really really bad and just ****s up your metabolism so much...

But if you are choosing vomitting over contraception then just tell him the pills make you sick or your periods are happening anyway or something he won't have any specific knowledge about so you'd prefer to go back to condoms...

Or put forward an argument for using both. pills do not equal 0% chance of getting pregnant.. was reading up on this a while back and i think it's just under 1% of women a year using the pill for contraceptive will get pregnant (though i obviously don't know what kinda pill you're using and i'm unsure whether that statistic is for strict or normal usage). Within condoms used carefully as the only form of contraception it's 3% a year... so combining the two gives you a .033% chance of getting pregnant..
plus, y'know, the messiness reason is pretty valid too.

anyway i'm not saying "convince him condoms should be used too and continue throwing up". I'm saying "you should REALLYREALLYREALLY stop throwing up. it's bad! but there are valid reasons for using condoms too, whichever path you choose"

(i'm open to correction on those statistics but i'm pretty sure they're sound)

Victor

asdfghjkl wrote:

This isn't a medical issue I have here, nor is this a cry for help from an ED sufferer (I want this to be clear from the start).

ED = Eating Disorder?

Just to be clear. People use the words "sick" and "vomit" interchangeably. Is this a case of you forcing yourself to vomit or does the pill make you genuinely ill.

passive wrote:

Or put forward an argument for using both. pills do not equal 0% chance of getting pregnant.. was reading up on this a while back and i think it's just under 1% of women a year using the pill for contraceptive will get pregnant

1% if used properly. Not everyone uses it properly.

simu

You're going through hell just so your boyfriend doesn't have to use condoms and you're too afraid to share your thoughts with him? Why? Do you think he will fight with you/dump you over this? If so, he's not worth being with and you deserve better. If not, tell him - it's madness not to!

athena 2000

I hope you'll make a decision based on your own health and convenience in this situation.

If you don't want to be on the pill any longer, then get off of it. The boyfriend can exercise some co-responsibility for his own protection from babies and other hazards of sex along with you. Surely?

Be your own best friend and do what's right for your health. How can taking the pill you don't want to take, throwing up your meals for a week each month, and then hiding all these actions from your friends and family just because you don't want to talk to and/or disappoint your boyfriend be making you happy? Is the sex that great? Girl, go get free. You're worth it.

LegacyUser

My God, How vain are you? You are so afraid of pregnancy, but not prepared to carry a few extra punds to avoid it?
Not all pills make you fat, and if you excersise and eat healthly you wont see any weight gain at all.
If you don't want to be on the pill, fine, go to the doctor and discuss your options.
Your boyfriend loves you, right? The pill is making you feel sick, it makes a lot of women feel sick, tell him that, and tell him from here on out you use condoms are you don't have sex, simple as that. I can't imagine he is going to dump you over it, and if he does he is a waster.
I am not really sure that I really see the problem, I am on the pill, I gained about a stone on it, but I am in a loving relationship, where I have plenty of sex and a hugely reduced risk of pregnancy? Whats more important to you? Your figure or pregnancy?
I personally think you are being ridiculously vain.
Also, I think you know you still have a massive ED and professional help is the only way to get over that.

Siogfinsceal

ok firstly - ask your doc if you can move to a pill called yasmin - I use it it is known for not making you put on weight as the others can do.

If you are on a combined pill such as this you are protected provided you do not vomit within 4 hours of taking the pill. So if you are going to be sick at 8pm- start taking your pill at 2pm or earlier if that makes sense. I dont know the rule about the mini-pill.

Im not going to lecture you about throwing up I know you prob get enough of that already. Just know that this can weaken your heart, rot your teeth and cause internal damage. It would be best to find another way to lose weight

Siogfinsceal

thats so cruel its not vain not to want to put on weight!!

I dont want to get pregnant or put on weight so i found a pill that suited me.

Seraphina

how much weight are we talking about here? if its a stone like the anon poster two posts above i can understand where you're coming from, for me that'd be alot of weight to put on just for going on the pill! however if its minimal, a pound or two, you probably are being silly. forget the vomiting, if the weight bothers you that much, increase your activity levels - walk more, or become involved in a sport or something. you're definitely putting your health in danger by vomiting, why not go down a healthier route? you'll feel much better (this is from a self confessed lazy ****er who started going to the gym more recently )
btw i'm also on yasmin, and i definitely haven't noticed any weight gain either, so perhaps switching to that pill might also be a good idea?

there's loads out there, discuss your feelings with the doc and ask about a pill that will cause minimal weight gain.

[Jackass]

listen...blokes dont have a clue about women stuff and what goes on...just say it gives you period cramps or some crap, and who's he to question it?

Or you could just be honest and say you're putting on weight and would he mind if he started wearing condoms again for a while...

Faith

When I went on the pill (I'm on Dianette) I put on about 9 pounds and lost it again in two weeks by very minimally cutting down my food intake. It was the easiest weight I ever lost because it's not fat.

angelgirl

if that was me i would just tell my bf i want bto come off the pill because its not agreeing with me its giving me headaches and cramps. you dont need to tell him the real reason but if i was you i would come off it right aways its doing you more harm then good and from what you've said you seem to have come a long way and you seem to be have doing great.

come off the pill girl dont go back down the road of dieting to much. its your body stand up for yourself and tell your fella you want to go back to using condoms if he says no just tell him it means no sex for him and trust me he'll use them

savoyard

The pill can mess up your body and weight gain is an issue for lots of us. I was amazed at how my body changed after coming off it. I feel so much better for it, physically and mentally. Every woman has a different reaction to different pills and some of them just don't agree with people. I was on Microgyon for a while and it sent me completely tonto. Taking the pill is a big deal and you should feel comfortable with everything that goes with it.

It's an easy option for the bloke -they're not the one whose body (and mind) can change. And surely the pill is as expensive for you as condoms once you add the cost of going to the doctors etc to it?

I'd do as Angegirl says - tell him it is not agreeing with you physically and mentally, which it is not. If you have an ED, why take something that pushes you back down that road? It's not worth it. Tell him that you think the pill is depressing you and you want to come off it to see if it is the pill or something else. And start researching other forms of contraception - or tell him to! I've heard great things about the cap for example.