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Go QUANTAS!!!! Old but Good

  • 24-11-2004 5:36am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 362 ✭✭


    Go QUANTAS!!!!

    Quantas is now my favourite airline: bring it on!!!!!! Here are some
    actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, recently submitted by
    QANTAS Pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the
    squawks,
    maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken
    to
    solve
    the pilots' squawks. (P - The problem logged by the pilot.) (S - The
    solution
    and action taken by the engineers.)

    P - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    P - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    S - No. 2 propeller seepage normal - Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack
    normal seepage.

    P - Something loose in cockpit.
    S - Something tightened in cockpit.

    P - Dead bugs on windshield.
    S - Live bugs on backorder.

    P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
    S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S - Evidence removed.

    P - DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S - Volume set to more believable level.

    P - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S - That's what they are there for!

    P - IFF inoperative.
    S - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P - Suspected crack in windscreen.
    S - Suspect you're right.

    P - Number 3 engine missing.
    S - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P - Aircraft handles funny.
    S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly
    Right, and Be Serious."

    P - Target radar hums.
    S - Reprogrammed target radar with words.

    P - Mouse in cockpit.
    S - Cat installed.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,068 ✭✭✭stagolee


    heheheh :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,115 ✭✭✭Pal


    unfunny joke

    user banned

    thread locked


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,036 ✭✭✭garred


    limpdd wrote:
    P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S - Evidence removed.


    Brilliant!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,978 ✭✭✭445279.ie


    limpdd wrote:
    P - Aircraft handles funny.
    S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly
    Right, and Be Serious."

    I like!! :D


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