Women and their Toilet Habits

BrianD3

I got the idea for this highly intellectual post from a thread about farting in Personal Issues.

My question is: do women actually shít and fart or do they magically convert all waste products to colourless and odourless Carbon Dioxide or something. I say this because I have never in my life:
-heard/smelt a woman fart
-heard a woman talk about her shítting habits or boast about the huge dump she just took
-heard a woman say that she needs to take a dump
-heard a woman take a noisy dump
-seen brown skidmarks in a toilet bowl after a woman has used it
-seen an unflushed toilet with a dump in it after a woman has used it
-gotten a bad smell in a toilet after a woman has used it

Now admittedly I don't have any sisters and have not had a proper girlfriend so maybe if I had I would have experienced all of the above. However I have or have had female friends, one night stands, workmates, acquaintences, cousins, flatmates etc. It seems that all women are impossibly cagey and coy about their bowel movements.

I'm not the only one who has noticed this either. A friend of mine says his g/f of 6 years has never farted in front of him and he is unaware of her every having taken a dump.

TBH I woud prefer if women were more open as it would make them seem somehow more human. After all, it is a completely natural thing to do so why go to such lengths to hide every shred of evidence of it having occured.

So, what's the story with women and shítting. Can anyone shed any light on this vitally important issue.

Karl Hungus

You've obviously never lived with anyone of the female variety... I can tell you honestly they can be nasty enough, especially when they leave drips on the toilet seat after using it, and not wiping it off... They'll gladly close the lid though. :rolleyes:

BrianD3

You've obviously never lived with anyone of the female variety... I can tell you honestly they can be nasty enough, especially when they leave drips on the toilet seat after using it, and not wiping it off...

Ah but I have lived with plenty of women over the years. Many were messy when it came to food, clothes etc. Some were a bit sloppy when it came to pissing eg getting droplets on the seat as you described. But as for sh*tting - from what I could gather they never did it. Ever.

BrianD3

Karl Hungus

I've been privalaged to the aftermath of a poop a few times, sometimes it pongs to high heaven, sometimes not... One girl I knew hadn't a whiff out of her whatsoever. She was vegitarian though, I think that might've helped. She was a joy to use the toilet after.

BEAT

I dont think this thread will be open very long so I will make this short.
The women you lived with were raised right tbh.
It is gross and lazy for a woman not to clean up after herself...you should have read my thread in AH about toilet habits a couple of weeks ago.

It is a different story when you go into a public womens restroom, most women are pigs.
In a relationship though it is different, women tend to be more conscious of bathroom habits.
No women wants her man to think of her crapping let alone see or smell it. We generally have air freshners and the like.

Women in nature are just more conscious and neat about these things.
We all crap and fart tbh, but not everyone has to know it

My mom makes fun of me becuase if I do let out some air she has never seen me, I tell her that is becuase there is a bathroom I can go to for that sort of thing, no sense everyone in the house having to smell it

BrianD3

No women wants her man to think of her crapping let alone see or smell it.

Well this is a misguided view IMO. As I said, I would rather women do what's natural and be a bit open about it rather than keep it as some filthy secret. Lots of men probably have the same view. Notice how Karl Hungus says he was "priviliged" to the aftermath of a poop.

Of course, there is a difference between being a bit open about defecation and being really messy and horrible about it.

Also, I reckon lots of women are giving themselves constipation by not sh*tting when they feel the urge due to their desire to keep it a secret. Eg a girl who refuses to sh*t at her boyfriends house in case he's disgusted, she holds it in, the urge goes away and next thing she's constipated. This could actually be a factor in developing colon cancer later in life.

BrianD3

steveland?

*LALALA NOT LISTENING*

Women don't poo or fart.... it just doesn't happen




Ignorance really is bliss....


No, seriously, I was recently treated to hearing a girl going on about her... excremental habits... it wasn't pleasant...

Karl Hungus

Must... resist... temptation... to... post... TUBGIRL!


...hrhrnrhrgngasngsngrg...

FranknFurter

lolol karl, u beat me to it!

Kalina

BrianD3 wrote:

I have never in my life heard a woman talk about her shítting habits or boast about the huge dump she just took

Do you think this is something that should be boasted about??

mp3guy

BrianD3 wrote:

I got the idea for this highly intellectual post from a thread about farting in Personal Issues.

My question is: do women actually shít and fart or do they magically convert all waste products to colourless and odourless Carbon Dioxide or something. I say this because I have never in my life:
-heard/smelt a woman fart
-heard a woman talk about her shítting habits or boast about the huge dump she just took
-heard a woman say that she needs to take a dump
-heard a woman take a noisy dump
-seen brown skidmarks in a toilet bowl after a woman has used it
-seen an unflushed toilet with a dump in it after a woman has used it
-gotten a bad smell in a toilet after a woman has used it

Now admittedly I don't have any sisters and have not had a proper girlfriend so maybe if I had I would have experienced all of the above. However I have or have had female friends, one night stands, workmates, acquaintences, cousins, flatmates etc. It seems that all women are impossibly cagey and coy about their bowel movements.

I'm not the only one who has noticed this either. A friend of mine says his g/f of 6 years has never farted in front of him and he is unaware of her every having taken a dump.

TBH I woud prefer if women were more open as it would make them seem somehow more human. After all, it is a completely natural thing to do so why go to such lengths to hide every shred of evidence of it having occured.

So, what's the story with women and shítting. Can anyone shed any light on this vitally important issue.

Why the hell are you complaining?

pickarooney

Check that site linked in the thread about farting on PI. I'm incredibly lazy and won't look it up for youse.

seamus

BrianD3 wrote:

-heard/smelt a woman fart

I've heard but never smelled....

-heard a woman talk about her shítting habits or boast about the huge dump she just took

Heard a woman "talk" about it, but in the civilised "Ooh..I'm a bit constipated today" kind of way, not the "BY CHRIST, that was some great ****e I just had!" way that men talk about it.

-heard a woman say that she needs to take a dump

They never say it. You learn the subtlety though. A woman (if you know her well enough) will either tell you she needs to pee, or she needs to "use the loo"/"freshen up"/"use the toilet"/etc. The latter means she needs a Barry. You can't tell by the length, since you'll have fallen asleep by the time she gets out, regardless of what she was doing in there.

-heard a woman take a noisy dump

TBH, it's a rare thing to hear anyway, outside of men's toilets. I'm sure if there were unisex toilets in places it would happen.

-seen brown skidmarks in a toilet bowl after a woman has used it
-seen an unflushed toilet with a dump in it after a woman has used it

Women do not let this happen. They will polish the toilet and/or remain in there, flushing and reflushing until all trace of their befoulment has gone.

-gotten a bad smell in a toilet after a woman has used it

I can say I've gotten this.

simu

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/n/nun.asp

second cartoon down

steveland?

simu wrote:

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/n/nun.asp

second cartoon down

Those pictures make Baby Jesus cry

Canis Lupus

I have a girl mate whom I'm close to and while she hasn't ever held a conversation with me about her bowel movements she lets farts and burps rip whenever the urge takes her. It's funny cos she is one of them "posh" birds and only does it around me or other close friends

(not that once she is alone she starts letting em rip constantly with "phooooar smell that" comments but just treats the matter like an average bloke would...)

They also don't smell.... which is definitely odd.

BrianD3

I thought this thread was deleted, didn't know about this Cuckoo's Nest forum for bizarre/tasteless/silly stuff.

Anyhow that's a pretty good summary seamus. Yeah the terminology that women use is pretty funny, how they talk about going to the "bathroom" (even though there may be no bath) to "freshen up" etc. Also notice BEAT's post earlier in this thread wher she talks about "letting out some air"

In contrast men seem pretty proud of their sh*tting. They love taking a nice big dump and are not very discrete about it. Lots of men take ages on the toilet and will read a paper or magazine. AFAIK, women *never* do this, they don't enjoy it and the whole thing disgusts them.

I believe this may be due to the difference in male and female anatomy. I think I read somewhere before that lots of men when asked said they would prefer to take a nice relaxing sh*t than to have sex.

The final thing is: how many films have people seen where a man is shown taking a dump. It's often used for comedy value and there are usually sound effects. I can think of several films staright away - Trainspotting, American Pie, Along Came Polly and Maximum Overdrive and I'm sure there are more. But don't know of a single film that shows a woman doing the same. It's as if women's bowel movements are taboo and off limits.

BrianD3

seamus

BrianD3 wrote:

I believe this may be due to the difference in male and female anatomy. I think I read somewhere before that lots of men when asked said they would prefer to take a nice relaxing sh*t than to have sex.

Sounds a bit unbelievable, but if it's one of those ****s where you've been *dying* to go all morning....then...hmmmmm.

The final thing is: how many films have people seen where a man is shown taking a dump. It's often used for comedy value and there are usually sound effects. I can think of several films staright away - Trainspotting, American Pie, Along Came Polly and Maximum Overdrive and I'm sure there are more. But don't know of a single film that shows a woman doing the same. It's as if women's bowel movements are taboo and off limits.

Lethal Weapon too. I can't think of a single film that shows a woman on the toilet.

smoke.me.a.kipper

seamus wrote:

Lethal Weapon too. I can't think of a single film that shows a woman on the toilet.

full monty. at the start. not really 'on' the toilet

Saruman

Wonder how many of these are womens!!!

I can honestly say that women DO fart and plenty find it amusing to do so in your face

SamuraiWarrior

Women have to poo and fart, otherwise we would be in a lot of pain. We just don't feel the need to broadcast it. I don't understand why this is unnatural. Who wants to hear about poo?

cajun_tiger

ok firstly women sadly enough do have to use the loo. most women (i wont say all) are polite enough to clean up after themself and/or keep it to a private matter. i do know women that sit there with their bfs/hubbys and fart blech scratch ect (my sister included) i personaly don't like it what so ever. most girls will leave the room if the need happens unlike men who will anounce it. is it really something to be proud of?? i don't think so but then again i also dont think football should be on the telly. anyway men shouldn't think about what girls do and women shouldn't know about what men do.

seamus

cajun_tiger wrote:

is it really something to be proud of?? i don't think so

Is it really something to be ashamed of? It's like being ashamed of blowing your nose. It's disgusting, but it's something that we all need to do regularly.

cajun_tiger

no not at all but then again cant you keep it to yourself, the only persons poo i need to know about is my childs and thats just to be sure that she's going and not consipated

seamus

cajun_tiger wrote:

no not at all but then again cant you keep it to yourself, the only persons poo i need to know about is my childs and thats just to be sure that she's going and not consipated

Personally, I keep word of a satisfactory poo to myself unless I'm walking into a room full of good male friends. Male friends like to hear that kind of thing. "BY JAYSUS THAT WAS A GREAT ****E" is male bonding codeword for "I'm doing great everyone, thanks for your concern."

cajun_tiger

ok i can understand that but some guys go over the top...and so do some girls....

koneko

Meh, I never feel the need to talk about my "droppings". I don't think anyone wants to hear about that thing, but maybe I'm wrong

pickarooney

koneko wrote:

Meh, I never feel the need to talk about my "droppings". I don't think anyone wants to hear about that thing, but maybe I'm wrong

You might be able to help me with the eternal question - what is that shelf for?? You know the one I mean.

Hagar

Ah Jayses I'm eating my lunch... I thought it was going to be a cartoon.

Scouser Boy!!

Women do fart, but none more so than summer in a bowl!!!!!

summer_ina_bowl

scouser boy only think he knows that coz he spends so much time in the girls jacks - really what he heard was his own farts echoing around the cubicle where he was hiding, while waiting for his butch leather clad german friend whose only english is "i dropped my soap". aha.

annette curtain

when did you drop that then sum