Lads, your best and worst chat up lines!!!!

Spalk0

Lets here em!

Got a mail with a few of them and got a bit of a laugh from it!.....Dont personally use them cos i feel weird and cheesy saying them!could be lack of confidence!

But since its Friday i could do with a laugh before i hit the pubs tonight!

Also, lets here the best and worse you have heard to!.....

(licks finger and wipes it one her sleeve) "Lets get you out of those wet clothes!"

"Do ya believe in love at first sight or do ya want me to walk by again!?"

HAHA would be comical hearing some of these being used!

445279.ie

Been on the receiving end of this really cheesy one...........

Here's 20p. Ring your mother and tell her you won't be home!

BolBill

rebel72 wrote:

Been on the receiving end of this really cheesy one...........

Here's 20p. Ring your mother and tell her you won't be home!

So you he didn't pull you then?????????

445279.ie

Let's just say I went home that night!!!

Spalk0

rebel72 wrote:

Let's just say I went home that night!!!

Not surprised! :rolleyes: sounds well cheesy allright!

SoupyNorman

rebel72 wrote:

Been on the receiving end of this really cheesy one...........

Here's 20p. Ring your mother and tell her you won't be home!

That could scare her off also.."wont be home" could be interpreted as wont be home ever!!!!(bin liner and a shovel)

heres my contribution...

If was to rearrange the alphabet i'd put U and I together.

egan007

what Fcuks like a tiger and winks......followed by

aidan_walsh

My God, men actually try this type of rubbish?

SoupyNorman

doodle_sketch wrote:

My God, men actually try this type of rubbish?

i've never in my life seriously used a chat up line. ( :eek: i hope)

eefs

Someone once, seriously, asked me in Spirit one night "Do I have to pay for those moves?". Talking about me, dancing. Hmmm.

He still scored though, so who am I to judge?

Blisterman

I want to know which ones have actually worked.

][cEMAN**

Just been told of one from a friend. You'll have heard it before but it goes against all those people who say "Sure just ask her out...what's the worst thing that could happen? So she says no..."

My friend watched a guy on the dance floor looking around for any woman with a skirt. When he found one he walked up to her and said "Is that a ladder in your tights or is that a stairway to heaven". She responded with "F*** OFF YOU FREAK!!!"

Priceless.....

magick

"yes or no, either way im getting laid"

then i was thrown out for sexual assualt,hmm i should stop doing that at work

SoupyNorman

The two main "chat-up line" times of a night i notice are;

1.Start of the night when choice is plentyful, you can afford to chance your arm.

2.When you know its the last song of the night, desperation sinks in and so theres nothing for it but to go for it!

eefs

Blisterman wrote:

I want to know which ones have actually worked.

The one used on me worked. I went on a couple of dates with him and everything!

simu

I don't think the lines work in themselves. However, they can be an ice-breaker and they might lead to further flirting if the girl decides that the guy is desirable to her (or vice versa if it's the girl who utters the chat-up line).

Spalk0

"Can i buy you a drink or do you just want the money!?" hehe

Redleslie2

Blisterman wrote:

I want to know which ones have actually worked.

For use on foreign types only.

Chat about family background, genealogy etc then, finger on chin, head tilted inquisitively, ask...

"Have you got any Irish in you?"
"No."
*raise eyebrows rakishly, lean in and say...
"Would you like some?"

Doesn't work as well if she actually has some Irish blood of course.

Roar

My one would be to go up to a girl with your phone out,say "can you help me? there's a problem with my phone"

she says "what is it"

and you say "it doesn't have your phone number in it"

giggity giggity

joejoem

Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell out of me!

Spalk0

How about

"If i told you you had a beautifull body would ya hold it against me?"

Nuttzz

To a female garda in the Garda club, "is it a crime for one man to look so good".......it worked too

Kingp35

Ok here is a selection of some classics.not saying if i ever used em or not haha

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.


(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)
Let's get you out of those wet clothes.


Nice legs... What time do they open?


Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you
checking out my package.


You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?


I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the
only one talking to you.

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted
Bed thrasher, have you seen one?


I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on
earth tonight.


Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell
outta me.


I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.


You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty
is only a light switch away.


You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.


I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and
even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.


If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be
you by morning.


(Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to
suck itself.


You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.


You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?


Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my
bedroom floor.


My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming
it later.


Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk
by again?


Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk
to you.


I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have
you been drinking?


Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?


Do you wash your pants in Mr Sheen because I can see
myself in them?

so girls do you thin any of my lines would work with you???? lads try em they honestly work no joking

Skellington

worst ones would be:
is your nickname spanner? cos everytime i look at you my nuts tighten.

or

hi, i'm new in town. can ya show me the way to your appartment?

steveland?

A mate of mine actually went up to a girl in a pub and said to her "That's a lovely top... it'd look even better on my floor"

It was excusable though cos he was locked

Sarky

"Sod the hell off and stop bothering me."

No luck yet, but I'm hopeful.

Karl Hungus

Personally I love the ever sweet "I want to cut off your face, and stitch it to my chest"

The_Bullman

You don't sweat much for a fat bird

revolver2k

Fancy going halves on a bastard??

billy the squid

How would you like to be buried with my people?

elivsvonchiaing

{after bull**** inane conversation about crap- and not knowing or giving a fcuk if she's attached or not...} Y'know I'd really love to meet your other half to tell him what a lucky man he is :rolleyes: Can work though :cool:

Boro

PunK04 wrote:

worst ones would be:
is your nickname spanner? cos everytime i look at you my nuts tighten.

or

hi, i'm new in town. can ya show me the way to your appartment?

Another version of that one (a bit better i think) is :

"Your eyes are like spanners, every time you look at me i feel my nuts tighten"

joejoem

So your place or mine?

"I'll tell you what, you go to your home, and I'll go to mine"

"OK After Ive ****ed you in the back of my car I dont care where you go"

Next one

"You look nice in that top"

Get away from me looser

"Oh you must have misheard me, I said you look fat in that top"

OLDYELLAR

best one and 1 i use , Do you sleep on your belly (pause) can i ?

the worst one a fella used on me one night was , Is that a mirror between your legs because i can see myself in there , funny but didnt work

steveland?

billy the squid wrote:

How would you like to be buried with my people?

:eek: I reckin this one would just end up with you on the sex offenders list or something

Pigman II

Ya can't go wrong with "I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna ****in' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty."

tba

"Hello"

Usually works pretty well

Third_Echelon

"I want to be on you".. courtesy of Ron Burgundy

Corruptedmorals

Karl Hungus wrote:

Personally I love the ever sweet "I want to cut off your face, and stitch it to my chest"

??? Has that ever worked?

smoke.me.a.kipper

"get your coat, you have pulled"

steveland?

Third_Echelon wrote:

"I want to be on you".. courtesy of Ron Burgundy

!!!YOU COULD USE MY OFFICE AND MAYBE LATER WE COULD HAVE LUNCH!!!

- Ron Burgundy

theone

never used it but i thought it was funny,
I've got a ten inch tongue and I can breath through my ears
could go either way ,best to chat to her a bit first.

ixoy

I'm surprised noone's mentioned it yet, but Japanese sociologists recently discovered the best chatup line in existence. From Ananova:

Japanese sociologists and psychiatrists have come up with the best chat-up line in the world.

The line "Rainen no kono hi mo issho ni waratteiy-oh" means literally: "This time next year, let's be laughing together."

The Japanese team - including Takaaki Ishibashi, host of Japan's equivalent to Blind Date - was asked to find the best conversation ice-breaker.

The panel said that using "this time next year" sent a signal that the bloke on the pull is interested in more than a one-night fling reports The Sun.

"Together" gives the impression of freshness in the romance and "laughing" softens the phrase to make it easy to deliver.

The winning chat-up line is supposed to work anywhere, but particularly well with an office acquaintance.

Officials hope it will help solve a population crisis in Japan, where birth rates have plunged.

So there ya have it lads. Off you go and begin populating.

blondie83

"This time next year we'll be laughing"
Was just going to post that one - apparently it one some chat up line competition on one of the radio stations. From a girls perspective I'd say its probably the best one up here.

Probably the one I remember best was "nice legs, what time do they open" - had a good laugh at that one! (he didn't score though)

I remember i was in a club once and I guy came up to me and gave me the "you're the most beautiful girl here" line. I started giving out to him for using such a boring chat-up line and not being more original. Then I felt bad for giving out to him, and was with him - ended up being quite successful too!

tba

Third_Echelon wrote:

"I want to be on you".. courtesy of Ron Burgundy

My apartment smells of rich mahogany and has many leather bound books.

Ro: maaan!

May have posted this on another one of these threads before...

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but did you say you'd give me a shag?"

Jim

tman's sig.

"Is there an airport nearby, or is that just my cock taking off?"

IrishMike

The_Bullman wrote:

You don't sweat much for a fat bird

Genius :D

Jetpilot

Hand a girl your library card and say "Im checking you out!"

Elessar

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

azezil

"hi i'm azezil, prepare you bouls for iminate release!" *pelvic thrust*