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LegacyUser

Are there any other women here who have difficulty orgasming during penetration? I have never, ever come during penetration. And he's great, and it's all great, and I'm relaxed, and it's long-lasting and adventurous etc. etc.

It doesn't take away from my enjoyment but I never even get close.

I come from oral and digital no problem...

This is rather embarassing.

Anyone else experienced this, and how did you overcome it, pardon the pun?

Victor

I happens lots of people, especially women. I suspect it happens more men than would admit to it (although I suppose "never" for a man would be rare).

Overall are you enjoying the sex and do you get to orgasm at least once? From "I come from oral" I presume you are spending at least sometime on foreplay. A lot of people are in it for the fun, not the orgasm.

Have you considered alternative positions or maybe acting out fantasies?

Sleepy

It's actually incredibly common in women...

Get him to take you from behind and reach around with his hand

NeMiSiS

This aint meant to be offensive.. but drop the hand. Hell I can't think of a greater sight in the world than having sex with a girl while she masturbates at the same time. A guy reaching round with his hand is grand in some posisitions but not all..in some it looks like yer playing a double bass..
Have fun.

embee

NeMiSiS wrote:

This aint meant to be offensive.. but drop the hand. Hell I can't think of a greater sight in the world than having sex with a girl while she masturbates at the same time.

Her problem isn't that her boyfriend needs visual stimulus, its that she can't come from penetration.

To the original poster - it is actually really common in women. Doggy style is supposed to be one of the most effective positions for hitting the g-spot, but don't fret about it too much. Its not like you aren't having any orgasms at all.

NeMiSiS

"Her problem isn't that her boyfriend needs visual stimulus, its that she can't come from penetration."

That was'nt what I was saying not even in the slightest.. I just meant it's nice to watch..Jesus ****ing Christ allmighty... If she is being penetrated why not masturbate at the same time? She knows she can have an orgasm that way.. Why focus on just one way..?

Tom

LegacyUser

Thanks for the suggestions.

Victor: we've tried it ALL.

Sleepy: I find that distracting, tbh.

NeMiSiS: Again, same as Sleepy.

Guys, then you see, that wouldn't be coming from penetration, but from digital.

embee: doggy is fun but doesn't aid this.

I guess what you're all saying is that there's no solution, right?

*sigh*

ven0m

'red-faced-girl' have you tried being 'on-top'?

I know my girlfriend used to complain that no guy had ever made her come & the first while we had sex I tried for all the tea in China to no avail, but with a bit of acrobatics (on my behalf & folks it ain't comfy or easy!), nearly 8/10 times I can make her come & she's happy, but I do get compensation for my trouble ;-)


::: ven0mous :::

simu

red-faced-girl wrote:

Guys, then you see, that wouldn't be coming from penetration, but from digital.

I think the clitoris needs to be stimulated in some way for a woman to come, in most cases. The extra sensation of penetration can make it better but penetration alone isn't enough to reach orgasm, imo. (Even though once I managed to come just by thinking but that took a lot of effort and might be incompatible with physical movement).

Freud had some theory that clitoral orgasms were "immature" and that the ultimate goal for women was to achieve orgasm through penetration only and the shadow of that idea remains today. I wouldn't worry how you orgasm as long as you do.

Quigs Snr

Yeah you could just sit on top and lean forward a bit or even lie down on top of him completely to make sure your 'go' button is making contact with something and just grind yourself off him. That'll probably work. It's kind of cheating but who cares if the end result is the same.

WhiteWashMan

around 80% of women cannot orgasm through penatritive sex alone.

so you are completely normal

just do whatever is fun, and make sure that he has a little left over to finish off the job, either as uyou sy, with digit, or oral.

and make a movie of it all and show us.

Miguel_Sanchez

Quigs Snr wrote:

Yeah you could just sit on top and lean forward a bit or even lie down on top of him completely to make sure your 'go' button is making contact with something and just grind yourself off him. That'll probably work. It's kind of cheating but who cares if the end result is the same.

I'd second this one. Have seen it work to great effect.

Also have you tried getting your man to bring you to the brink of orgasm and then penetrate you? It could be what you need to set you off.

climaxer

Quigs Snr wrote:

Yeah you could just sit on top and lean forward a bit or even lie down on top of him completely to make sure your 'go' button is making contact with something and just grind yourself off him. That'll probably work. It's kind of cheating but who cares if the end result is the same.

I'll third that - works everytime.

pickarooney

simu wrote:

(Even though once I managed to come just by thinking but that took a lot of effort and might be incompatible with physical movement).

Ladies, let's start the bidding on Simu's thoughts at one penny!

David Michael

Victor wrote:

I happens lots of people, especially women. I suspect it happens more men than would admit to it (although I suppose "never" for a man would be rare).

Overall are you enjoying the sex and do you get to orgasm at least once? From "I come from oral" I presume you are spending at least sometime on foreplay. A lot of people are in it for the fun, not the orgasm.

Have you considered alternative positions or maybe acting out fantasies?

Victor wrote:

I happens lots of people, especially women. I suspect it happens more men than would admit to it (although I suppose "never" for a man would be rare).

Overall are you enjoying the sex and do you get to orgasm at least once? From "I come from oral" I presume you are spending at least sometime on foreplay. A lot of people are in it for the fun, not the orgasm.

Have you considered alternative positions or maybe acting out fantasies?

Judging by the fact you are associating oral sex with foreplay I doubt your knowledgeability on the subject.

As for the poster.. a lot of women are clitirol in their stimulation/orgasams. There are penatritive positions that will maximise this.

Google is your friend.

Wolf

I knew this girl when I was traveling and she had her first intrenal orgasim ever and she was 24 and wasn't shy of playing around if you know what I mean. Well thats my 2 cents last time I talked to her she was having plently of deep rich orgasims soo.... there a point to this some where, make of it what you will.

Victor

David Michael wrote:

Judging by the fact you are associating oral sex with foreplay I doubt your knowledgeability on the subject.

So Mr. Casanova, give your understanding.

passive

Get him to lick the gee off you, you wont be long squirting in his face if he knows what he is at. Go on ya good thing

did you even read the thread?

anyway i'm not a girl and wouldn't be an expert on it but i'd have to go with the general consensus of throw in some hand (his or yours) for added stimulation...i mean, there's no rule that says it has to be done without the help of our dear friend the clitoris for it to count as being orgasm-by-penetration...

alternatively i vaguely recall hearing something about the pelvic floor muscle being relevant for better orgasms. but i don't really feel like googling it so i'll leave that up to you/someone else.

David Michael

Victor wrote:

So Mr. Casanova, give your understanding.

There is no "Mr Casanova" about it. I merely pointed out the flaw in what you stated.
I can only assume that is a catty remark visa via your ego.

And I gave my advice to the poster Victor. Are you asking for advice now? I think most people would agree oral sex plays a nice part in sex and is just not for "getting warmed up" as you have indicated. You can do it in the middle..start..end...when ever really.

No real rules when it comes to having fun. For a 30 year oldish bloke one would have thought you would have learned that.

The lady in question is still getting her Jollies so she has nothing to "worry" about in the regards of being abnormal due to her concerns is all really. As most others have said.
Recommending "maybe acting out fantasies" :rolleyes: has nothing to do with her concern.

LegacyUser

Dear RFG; please don't think anything of this, it is extremely common. It is in my experience due to several factors, but with enough practise (whey-hey!) overcome. A few points;

1. Most men head straight for penetration, because that is what they like. The idea of 15 minutes (yes, 15!) of foreplay would be ridiculous to them. But that would be imo the best way to ensure orgasm. The clit insists on long term manipulation before it responds in any meaningful way. Ignore this, and no orgasm.

2. Taking what I've said on board, don't be afraid to try new positions. Doggy style can be extremely effective, and you can really feel your partner by doing it this way (even if he is a wee bit smalll....) Also, another position is on top. If your partner is willing to collaborate with you, this position is the best way to find your g-spot. That, is worth hunting for, I assure you. You may have had organsms, but a g-spot organsm is unlike anything else.

3. Experiment. Try on your own with toys, and use the biggest errogenous zone of 'em all, your mind. What turns you on? What not? Stay away from the alcohol, and try porn or erotic literature to utilise your senses.. (some tasteful stuff exists, believe it or not).

Enjoy yourself!! There is a lot more out there to be discovered than you realise!

LegacyUser

Thanks a lot for the input.

The thing is...we have lots of foreplay, we've tried the kinky stuff, we have tried dozens of positions (we got that 365 book to try a new one every day ), he's a perfect size...it just ain't happening. But I won't give up - I was encouraged by the story of the girl who was 24 before she had the first penetrative orgasm!

David Michael...what are you doing using this thread to make fun of Victor? Maybe you thought you were being helpful but you were really just being nasty.

Thanks for your input Victor.

And cheers everyone, much appreciated.

Victor

David Michael wrote:

I think most people would agree oral sex plays a nice part in sex and is just not for "getting warmed up" as you have indicated. You can do it in the middle..start..end...when ever really.

Fair enough, for me it's usually been "middle". For most people penetrative sex is the pinnacle, summit, apex, peak, high point, culmination (yes, I'm using Thesaurus) "the end"* of sexual behaviors** to the point that many people don't consider oral sex actual sex.

For a 30 year oldish bloke one would have thought you would have learned that.

Do we know each other?

* For the moment, for more tune in same bat channel, same bat time tomorrow.

**Yes, there is that other pinnacle.

solas

I'm not sure this will help, but have you ever heard of tantric sex?
basically it is a way where you get to control (via breathing) muscular contractions and with a little practise (and a lot of fun), not only do you get to orgasm through penetration, it also enhances the experience, makes it last longer and increases sensation.


you might have heard a bit about it years ago when sting and his wife claimed to be long time practitioners of the art.
you can check it out online or go to your nearest bookstore.

best of luck.

Tiriel

try using a pillow under your hips? that's great
oh and yeah the pelvic muscles thing is a definite plus too..