Girlfriend and moody time of the month

LegacyUser

Ok, but of a whinge coming up, bear with me please!!

My gf and I have been going out for over a year and we get along great most of the time. But when her periods come around she is unbearable to be with. She is constantly starting arguments with me about the smallest thing. She reads way too much into simple little things I do or say and starts to think I don't care about her. Sometimes she starts going on about having doubts about our relationship. When she's not fighting with me she is constantly complaining about everyone else, her friends, her family, her work mates. I have just had enough of it.

Is there anything a girl can do when she is like this? I heard taking the pill helps, is it true? Or is there anything else? I really love her but if it's going to be like this 25% of the time I'm with her then I'm not prepared to put up with it. I'm seriously considering ending the relationship.

Please give me some advice.

Thanks.

tinkerbell

Not sure if the pill reduces PMT, but I have heard that there are herbal remedies for it. That, or get her to go to the doctor and get a professional to prescribe something for her.

Beruthiel

have you talked to her about it?
does she know that she is like this?
I tend to get grumpy for just one day each month, but I know what it is and I make an effort to never get into any big discussions that could go down hill at a rapid pace and I never take anything I might be thinking too seriously. This works perfectly well because I know what the story is, perhaps she just hasn't seen the connection yet?

anyway, there is no need to break off the relationship, just talk to her about it and come to an agreement on what ye should do around this time

primose oil is a herbal pill you can take, it takes quite a few months to have any effect but it can help.

DoctorEdgeWild

Definitely a 'lets sit down and talk about this' kinda conundrum. Just explain your point honestly and calmly, you should be able to work something out.

Just don't do it around that time of the month!

Nasty_Girl

I think you'd be stupid to end it over that, especially when you know whats causin it. Just say it to her. It probaby isn't the most fun time for her either. Maybe she's in a great deal of pain and discomfort. We all have our quirks when we're on! Personally I get really horny and my fella just puts up with it.
Also I think if it bothers you that much then maybe you should end it because if you can't accept her how she is then maybe you're not compatible? Talk to her about it anyway and see how that goes first.
If she says "Yeah ok, I'm sorry I know I get like that and wish there was a way to stop it " then its ok, but if she says"What the f**k are you making a big deal out of" then maybe you should let her go, she'll need a more paitent and understandin guy.
And oh yeah it has to be her choice if she wants the pill or not, that costs money you know.

skittishkitten

When hormones change so drastically it can really cause severe mood swings. She may not even realize what she is doing. I know that I can get rather irrational at that times ..... I've gotten to where I notice when things start to set in and usually end up warning people that I'm out of sorts and have to try extra hard to control my irritation. Those that know me realize I am not this way most of the time and that it IS a hormonal thing. Sometimes the littlest things can set me off ....and sometimes people just push my buttons to watch my head spin. Also if I'm not careful things swing the other way and I can drop down into a depression. It's not fun, believe me. I have to make a conscious effort to monitor my moods around that time of the month. It's not unusual for me to have to make apologies. I find that things with loads of calcium help .... chocolate ...ice cream.... milk..things like that ( actually it really does ! ) . For those girls out there that think this is just a way to get attention ..... I'd love to trade places with you , I'd love to watch your heads spin ...... at a distance of course !

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies guys & gals.

Think I will take your advice and sit her down for a chat next week when things have blown over.

sakic

Pimpslap that ass.

Beruthiel

sakic wrote:

Pimpslap that ass.

another comment like that and you're banned
read the CHARTER
B

RampagingBadger

Yea ta lk to her, but you probably shouldn't do it when she's on the rag...

ven0m

Mine turns into a rampalaen wretch (even though it's kinda tolerable!) when her time of the month rolls around so I disappear for about a week when she returns to the human race


::: ven0mous :::

LegacyUser

I was in the same situation and it caused me to break up with my g/f at the time (amongst other things).

But we got back together about 6 months ago and even though she's the same once a month - i have managed things better. In the end it was me who had to change and she seems to be actually better now too. Just drill it into yourself that its the hormones and be a solid dependable bloke by her side and everything will be ok. Talking bout it when she's not moody will seem like a waste to you once the monthly comes around again cos it'll be a little out of her hands, so my advise is to build up an internal resolve in yourself to not being so agitated by her moodiness.... worked for me the second time around and the relationship is stronger cos of it.

Best of luck.

Dr. Loon

RampagingBadger wrote:

Yea ta lk to her, but you probably shouldn't do it when she's on the rag...

You're a classy man. I like your style.

mycroft

FedUp wrote:

My gf and I have been going out for over a year and we get along great most of the time. But when her periods come around she is unbearable to be with. She is constantly starting arguments with me about the smallest thing. She reads way too much into simple little things I do or say and starts to think I don't care about her. Sometimes she starts going on about having doubts about our relationship. When she's not fighting with me she is constantly complaining about everyone else, her friends, her family, her work mates. I have just had enough of it.

A female friend of mine gave me some fabulous advice about this and it's stood the test of time.

Be amazingly nice to her.

Tummy rubs help (gentle pressure just above the gentiala.) helps relieve cramps

Buy her chocolate, cook her favourite meals, and although she can be irrational apologise for everything and be as kind as possible.

Why?

No not because you love her. But because once its all over, she'll have such guilt at the way she treated you and how sweet you were, you gain such das uber karma which can be traded for, watching the footie, sexual favours, nights out with the lads, and nights in with the playstation.

Alana

dude, the pill doesnt really have much of an affect on the whole moodyness...

i used to be quite a moody wagon around the time of the month until someone had the courage to point it out to me...i still get v moody and get moments when i get really angry or get really sad, and i cant help it-hormonal...but i try not to say anything, it's taken awhile to get it to work. it just takes time and me having to remind myself to think before i talk..and is what i'm currently wanting to say what i'd think if my body wasn't being bamboozled by ****ing crazy hormones and pain(really lads u dont kno how lucky ye are-its easy for ye to orgasm(on average) and ye dont suffer pmt..), and how would the person who i love so much feel if i was all mean and nasty to them for 1/4 of the month evry month just cos i was avin crappy time and it not their fault

yes i must say that she can be very annoying, and probably a right pain in the arse...but talk to her about it..but do it in a tactful way..that time of the month is no f*ckin picnic for her..

if its pain that's bothering her, get her to try stuff like neurofen, pretty much the strongest painkiller there is or to try the pill if she isnt on it already, but even that takes a while to get used to and she may get a lil bit more moodier than before when just starts....best solution is just talk to her..

Alana

my croft your a genius

sakic

Beruthiel wrote:

another comment like that and you're banned
read the CHARTER
B

Sorry

WhiteWashMan

Alana wrote:

dude, the pill doesnt really have much of an affect on the whole moodyness.....

BOOGLE!!!!

im assuming youre a woman, and yet you come out with something like that?

you do know that introducing hormones into the body can do crazy things to people?

you do know that the pill is basically full of hormones?

put item one with item two, and come up with your own conclusions.

what do you people learn in school these days?

BEAT

this may sound funny but I never had a single pms symptom before I had sex, no cramps, pains or mood swings or cravings...virginity really is the answer
after though I started getting all of them.

I finally realised my nasty attitude and back pain were related and learned to stay away from people when I am pms'ing. Some women are in denial or just dont know thats why they are angry.
I am glad I know the difference from a bad day and a pms day, you keep more friends that way

CathyMoran

The best idea is to get used to her cycle - know when she is going to be in bad form and just be more sympathetic then...I know that it seems a bit unfair on you the results will be worth it...

I keep an eye on my cycle so I know that when I am suffering from PMT then I can at least know what it is. As an aside, I have found that my maths skills go out the window then also - anyone else find that?

The_Conductor

CathyMoran wrote:

As an aside, I have found that my maths skills go out the window then also - anyone else find that?

Lol- I needed a laugh.
So true.....
Spellings seem to be another one?
Its quite difficult for us guys- we do not necessarily know that its not something that we have gone and done that makes women moan and bitch at us. Unfortunately we simply do not pick up on these things. We can be confused and dazed as well, when for no apparent reason we are suddenly attacked on things that we never considered issues, even if all seems well a day or two later we are ofen left dazed and confused. I guess men and women really are two totally different creatures (no jokes please)- it can only do both sexes the world of good to get to know the other a bit better.....

S.

BrianD3

Just going off slightly off topic for a moment there was an interesting article on PMS in the Sunday Times Magazine a week or two ago. I can't remember if there were any tips to alleviate PMS as it was more of a general discussion on PMS but it might be worth getting hold of for anyone who's interested. One thing that came out in it was that women's desires for equality, equal opportunity in the workplace etc. can be hampered by PMS as women with PMS are seen as highly-strung, loose cannons in the workplace, liable to fly into a fit of irrational rage at the slightest thing. At the same time, other women are looking for PMS to be regarded as a serious condition and for women to receive sympathy and in effect "special treatment" because of their PMS This shoots down the whole equality thing as it concedes that PMS is a problem for females and that they are different and less capable than men.

Of course the feminazi perspective was also given. According to them PMS isn't solely a hormonal condition it's a result of a hormones AND stress and guess what causes the stress? Yes, discrimination against and harassment of women by men in a male dominated world. Without the stress, women would never have PMS. Thankfully, this view was rubbished by a medical expert on PMS.

BrianD3

Nasty_Girl

BrianD3 wrote:

Just going off slightly off topic for a moment there was an interesting article on PMS in the Sunday Times Magazine a week or two ago. I can't remember if there were any tips to alleviate PMS as it was more of a general discussion on PMS but it might be worth getting hold of for anyone who's interested. One thing that came out in it was that women's desires for equality, equal opportunity in the workplace etc. can be hampered by PMS as women with PMS are seen as highly-strung, loose cannons in the workplace, liable to fly into a fit of irrational rage at the slightest thing. At the same time, other women are looking for PMS to be regarded as a serious condition and for women to receive sympathy and in effect "special treatment" because of their PMS This shoots down the whole equality thing as it concedes that PMS is a problem for females and that they are different and less capable than men.

Of course the feminazi perspective was also given. According to them PMS isn't solely a hormonal condition it's a result of a hormones AND stress and guess what causes the stress? Yes, discrimination against and harassment of women by men in a male dominated world. Without the stress, women would never have PMS. Thankfully, this view was rubbished by a medical expert on PMS.

BrianD3

That's an interesting mark about equality. I would put PMS down as an illness, the only thing is it only happens to women, just like haemophelia (that is the word I'm looking for right??) only happens to men. You can say that men are less capable than women because they can't grow children, only provide the seed. I think that we are equal but our strenghts can lie in different places. Some women do not suffer from PMS at all.

BrianD3

You're right Nasty_girl, but the article wasn't really talking about general equality, more equality and equal opportunity in the workplace. Lets face it, if a certain percentage of women turn into screaming banshees in work once a month it's not going to do their chances (or the chances of women generally even those who never suffer PMS) of promotion any good.

BrianD3

Nasty_Girl

yes you are right there. I think that some women use it as an excuse because big old bosses just go "oh god a women thing I don't understand give her what she wants before I catch it off her"

shiv

BrianD3 wrote:

You're right Nasty_girl, but the article wasn't really talking about general equality, more equality and equal opportunity in the workplace. Lets face it, if a certain percentage of women turn into screaming banshees in work once a month it's not going to do their chances (or the chances of women generally even those who never suffer PMS) of promotion any good.

BrianD3

Let's not forget there is a huge difference between annoying, irritating PMS and the more severe form of PMDD, which is much more serious and debilitating. In that scenario screaming banshees do not come into it, it's an illness a big step up and beyond cravings and crankiness.

Alana

WhiteWashMan wrote:

BOOGLE!!!!

im assuming youre a woman, and yet you come out with something like that?

you do know that introducing hormones into the body can do crazy things to people?

you do know that the pill is basically full of hormones?

put item one with item two, and come up with your own conclusions.

what do you people learn in school these days?

by that i am assuming that you are a guy and have never had a period or pms or pmt and don't know what it is like, yes well done you know the medical and scientific stuff....but that doesnt it always works and things work differently for different women..

tinkerbell

Yah I agree with Alana, what do you know WhiteWashMan about a woman's body when you are a guy?! Just because the pill is hormones, doesn't mean that it can do "crazy things to people" (quote)! For some women, the pill works fine and doesn't cause side effects, for others it doesn't suit. Some women get PMS, some do not. The pill may stop PMS, or it may not!

ven0m

My girlfriend is currently "@ her time of the month", is sick & is stressed from work - anyone got any spare pity for me, or a set of ball-protectors??? ANYONE????


::: ven0mous :::

tinkerbell

just lavish loads of attention on her

ven0m

tinkerbell wrote:

just lavish loads of attention on her

This has the tiny problem where paranoia comes into it & you get asked "why are you doing this" - we CANNOT come back with, "cos I'm trying to make it through your time of the month & get some when it's over!" We'd lose our nuts quicker than a forgetful squirrel!!!!!!!!!



::: ven0mous :::

Nasty_Girl

Just act normal and be and itty bit more careful round her

WhiteWashMan

tinkerbell wrote:

Yah I agree with Alana, what do you know WhiteWashMan about a woman's body when you are a guy?!

what an incredibly sexist remark.

just because you are a woman, what do you know about driving?

tinkerbell wrote:

Just because the pill is hormones, doesn't mean that it can do "crazy things to people" (quote)! For some women, the pill works fine and doesn't cause side effects, for others it doesn't suit. Some women get PMS, some do not. The pill may stop PMS, or it may not!

and i think you will find that you are wrong. i have said it 'can' do crazy things to a person, not just women. after all, hormones are why youre such a moany bÍtch to begin with.

i didnt say anything about the pill regulating periods, dealing with cramp etc, because these are all side effects of inducing hormones into your system you stupid little girl.
wake up!

it would seem i know a lot more about womens bodies than either of you two, and my god, to go around saying the ethe pill doesnt have much effect on moodiness, is possibly some of the worst advice i have ever heard.

Beruthiel

I would appreciate it if you guys could stop flaming each other

ta muchly
B

Imposter

WhiteWashMan wrote:

...to go around saying the ethe pill doesnt have much effect on moodiness, is possibly some of the worst advice i have ever heard.

I thnik you need to stop taking it WWM!

tinkerbell

WhiteWashMan, there's no need to start calling names and going on at us the way you did! And I wasn't trying to make a sexist remark, all I meant was that women would (presumably) know more about the subject of the pill / pmt, etc since women have to go through it.

To the original poster - there's probably some sort of herbal remedy for PMT going around, maybe your girl should try that?

koneko

tinkerbell wrote:

And I wasn't trying to make a sexist remark, all I meant was that women would (presumably) know more about the subject of the pill / pmt, etc since women have to go through it.

In fairness, there's a LOT of girls/women out there that dont know the first thing about their own bodies and what they're putting into it. A little research goes a long way, but most people can't be bothered. Don't assume because someone is female that they know more than someone that happens to be male.

The Sweeper

The pill is sometimes prescribed to help regulate mood swings/PMT.

One of the side effects of the pill is mood swings.

This is because "the pill" is an inappropriate umbrella term for a range of oral contraceptives that have different combinations of hormones.

Progesterone and Estrogen work in balance in your body. Progesterone production is highest around ovulation, Estrogen production is highest before your period. Progesterone can be linked to 'good' moods, Estrogen to PMS.

Some pills can even out some of the imbalance in your body's hormone production across the month, making you feel better. Some pills can add more hormones to an already imbalanced mix, making things worse.

External factors can affect your body's hormone production. It's worth getting your gal to read up on the effects that long working hours, lack of sleep, a diet too heavy in refined carbohyrates and sugars, and many, many other things can have on hormone production before looking at the idea of a supplementary hormone like the pill.

ven0m

ven0m wrote:

My girlfriend is currently "@ her time of the month", is sick & is stressed from work - anyone got any spare pity for me, or a set of ball-protectors??? ANYONE????

Oh it gets better now - she's just txt'd be saying she's been to the dentist & feels like poo - I'm most DEFINTELY screwed now!!!!! Tell everyone I know I love them, & make sure you're all good to each other - if I survive this evening it'll be a ****ing miracle!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:


::: ven0mous :::

tinkerbell

Yah you have a point koneko

I'll stop making assumptions now

Apologies to any males who got offended by my post - I didn't mean for it to be offensive in any way!

skittishkitten

ven0m wrote:

This has the tiny problem where paranoia comes into it & you get asked "why are you doing this" - we CANNOT come back with, "cos I'm trying to make it through your time of the month & get some when it's over!" We'd lose our nuts quicker than a forgetful squirrel!!!!!!!!!



::: ven0mous :::

AAAAwwwwww....... * gives you big hugs* .... Poooorrrr Baby ... it will all be over in about a week or so .

If she wonders why your being so nice just tell her it's because you love her and you want to make her feel better . Always works with me anyhow

Hagar

I just wonder how men would be treated if the shoe were on the other foot so to speak.

Imagine it, a man being argumentative and abusive, flying off the handle, making unfounded accusations, genarally being a bástard for several days in a row. The average woman would have called the Gardaí and have a barring order slapped on him so fast his head would spin. "My hormones were at me your honour" says he. Try that one in family court as you try to get back into your home after being "abusive".

PMS is a sickness, it is also a very effective weapon which some women have no qualms about using.

koneko

Ah man, is it the monthly women-bashing time already? Geez time flies.

pickarooney

Depends if the judge was a bloke.

mycroft

Hagar wrote:

I
Imagine it, a man being argumentative and abusive, flying off the handle, making unfounded accusations, genarally being a bástard for several days in a row.

OMG ROY KEANE HAS PMS!!!!

Hagar

koneko wrote:

Ah man, is it the monthly women-bashing time already? Geez time flies.

Is that anything like monthly man bashing time ?

WhiteWashMan

Hagar wrote:

Imagine it, a man being argumentative and abusive, flying off the handle, making unfounded accusations, genarally being a bástard for several days in a row. The average woman would have called the Gardaí and have a barring order slapped on him so fast his head would spin. "My hormones were at me your honour" says he. Try that one in family court as you try to get back into your home after being "abusive". .

i dont need to imagine it. ive seen east enders.
the blokes in that are constantly on the rag!

Beruthiel

if you lot don't get back on topic I'm closing this thread :mad:
B

branners69

when the painters are visiting your missus tell her this one.. then run like the wind!!

why do you never trust a woman??

how can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesnt die!!

On a serious note I mentioned this to the missus and we worked out that over the next 20 years she is going to be in her flowers for over 3 years of them!! Think about it.. 5 days a month, over 12 months gives you 60 days a year. Over 20 years this totals 1200 days she is gonna be on the blob for!! Which works out to be over 3 years!!

Nevermind when the menopause kicks in!!

Alana

WhiteWashMan wrote:

what an incredibly sexist remark.

just because you are a woman, what do you know about driving?




and i think you will find that you are wrong. i have said it 'can' do crazy things to a person, not just women. after all, hormones are why youre such a moany bÍtch to begin with.

i didnt say anything about the pill regulating periods, dealing with cramp etc, because these are all side effects of inducing hormones into your system you stupid little girl.
wake up!

it would seem i know a lot more about womens bodies than either of you two, and my god, to go around saying the ethe pill doesnt have much effect on moodiness, is possibly some of the worst advice i have ever heard.

WHAT THE F**K?!?!?!?!

:mad:

Excuse me?!?! I'm being sexist?!?!?

:mad:

My point was-you are not a woman. You do not know what it is like to take the pill. You do not know what it does to your system as you are not a woman. You do not know what the effects are, as you do not take the pill, are not a woman, and you are not me so therefore you do not know what effects the flipping thing has on my body.

how do you now more about our bodies, then we do, surely because we know how we feel and how we react to things we would know a great deal more about our own personal health....? And as for the general medical side of things i have worked with in charities that deal with womens issues and have campaigned about certain womens issues so i'm bloody informed about the medical side of things also. :mad:

You are most possibly the rudest, misoginistic person i have come across on boards.

Who the hell are you to call me a bitch?!?!?!

My point is that the pill is not the answer to mood swings, you can still get them on the pill or not.

and looking at playboy does not mean that you know a lot about womens bodies...

WhiteWashMan

Alana wrote:

WHAT THE F**K?!?!?!?!

:mad:

Excuse me?!?! I'm being sexist?!?!?

:mad:

My point was-you are not a woman. You do not know what it is like to take the pill. You do not know what it does to you'r system as you are not a woman. You do not know what the effects are, as you do not take the pill, are not a woman, and you are not me so therefore you do not know what effects the flipping thing has on my body.

how do you now more about our bodies, then we do, surely because we know how we feel and how we react to things we would know a great deal more about our own personal health....? And as for the general medical side of things i have worked with in charities that deal with womens issues and have campaigned about certain womens issues so i'm bloody informed about the medical side of things also. :mad:

You are most possibly the rudest, misoginistic person i have come across on boards.

Who the hell are you to call me a bitch?!?!?!

My point is that the pill is not the answer to mood swings, you can still get them on the pill or not.

and looking at playboy does not mean that you know a lot about womens bodies...

time of the month dear?

have some chocolate. you'll feel a lot better.