The Technologically Challenged

StupidLikeAFox

Just in case you think YOU are TC (technologically challenged), there's
still hope:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to
be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
(5-1/4") diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat
failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer
had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter
to type the labels.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
with photocopies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to
hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and going
across the room to close the door.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
and washing them individually.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.

9. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.
He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find
printer." The user had even tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer - but his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

10.An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
mouse!

11.Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,
plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to
happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch,
she asked "What power switch?"

12.True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show?
How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark
on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he
couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and
snapped it off the drive.

13.Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang
for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to
put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk, but I
squeezed it in. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't
even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"
meant to remove Disk 1 first.

aidan_walsh

Its because of things like this that I'm looking for mandatory international licensing of users before anyone gets to even look at a computer, let alone touch a keyboard...

StupidLikeAFox

consider it edited......

asphalt-cushion

very good. 9 is great.

the_syco

With people like this, I wonder why I've yet to get a job...

Cake Fiend

doodle_sketch wrote:

Its because of things like this that I'm looking for mandatory international licensing of users before anyone gets to even look at a computer, let alone touch a keyboard...

I'm constantly amazed at the slew of morons that visit internet cafés every day without a notion how to use a computer, expecting the staff to do everything for them (and serve other customers at the same time). I wonder would these same people, if illiterate, walk into a library and demand that the librarian read out books to them?

Spalk0

Haha they very good!

Linoge

They are funny, but the chances of any of them being true are slim, maybe one or two.

Wir_Sind_Helden

No, my friend did tech suport for b.t. Belive me, there's worse.

aidan_walsh

Linoge wrote:

They are funny, but the chances of any of them being true are slim, maybe one or two.

Genius is limited, stupidity is boundless. Never underestimate the power of stoopid.

MistressPandora

I work in an internet cafe, and I well believe these stories to be true. I GET NOTHING BUT FCUKING MORONS MOST OF THE TIME!
"I can't find the @ key."
"I can't find the floppy drive."
"Where do I put this cd?" (Up your ass.)
"Is it ok to print? Where do I get my pages?" IN THE FCUKING PRINTER DIPSH*T!

You have no idea until you work in a place like this.

Cactus Col

MistressPandora wrote:

I work in an internet cafe, and I well believe these stories to be true. I GET NOTHING BUT FCUKING MORONS MOST OF THE TIME!
"I can't find the @ key."
"I can't find the floppy drive."
"Where do I put this cd?" (Up your ass.)
"Is it ok to print? Where do I get my pages?" IN THE FCUKING PRINTER DIPSH*T!

You have no idea until you work in a place like this.

Most, if not all, of these stories are crap, in fact Eddie Izzard used at least one on one of his shows (don't know if he originated it though)

Many People who go to internet cafe's may not have a computer, hence the reason they are in the internet cafe in the first place, so why should they know where the @ key on a keyboard is, or what a floppy drive is.

In fact Read Write (I think that's the name of the show, helps teach people to read and write), recommended people go to Internet Cafes to get accustomed to using computers.

But if the two people who worked in Internet cafe's in this thread represent what the majority of people who work in them are like, (which I don't believe they do) then they are a bunch of total dickheads and c*nts.

Don't like your customers? then get a different job.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

Capt'n Midnight

Linoge wrote:

They are funny, but the chances of any of them being true are slim, maybe one or two.

I've had people put floppies in to the font cartridge in printers.

The number of times people pressed the Dell badge when you tell them to press Del during startup (it says on the boot up screen... - it the days before the splash screen)

People who got as far as setting up the backup software in Windows and wondering how to restore thier entire computer from the pair of floppy disks made during the backup test.

People wanting to backup CDROM's to floppy (insert disk 400 and press any key when ready..)

one of the guys wasted an hour of his life because when the user was told to put the disk in the drive, took it out straight away because the tech didn't say not to..

I had a 45 minute call with a Digital Engineer who did not realise that hard drives need to have the power cable connected, at the very least he should have copped that it wasn't making any noise..

I know someone in IBM who had the mouse in the bag.. #2

One guy swears blind that he has seen monitors with tippex on them..

RE: 5.25" disks ..
I've met people who have been on the receiving end of backups done by photocopying floppy disks and have them being faxed over and having them punched for a ring-binder.

I've repaired PC's and found disks in side where someone missed the drive.

And the deaf guy with a sound card problem (three way call, an interpreter service typed what he said and it appeared on his phone)

And they were the sane ones....

MistressPandora

Cactus Col wrote:

Most, if not all, of these stories are crap, in fact Eddie Izzard used at least one on one of his shows (don't know if he originated it though)

Many People who go to internet cafe's may not have a computer, hence the reason they are in the internet cafe in the first place, so why should they know where the @ key on a keyboard is, or what a floppy drive is.

In fact Read Write (I think that's the name of the show, helps teach people to read and write), recommended people go to Internet Cafes to get accustomed to using computers.

But if the two people who worked in Internet cafe's in this thread represent what the majority of people who work in them are like, (which I don't believe they do) then they are a bunch of total dickheads and c*nts.

Don't like your customers? then get a different job.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

Tell you what, you do my job for a week and I'll sit on my ass enjoying myself. Then tell me all about the amount of **** you received, just for working there to pay off some bills. I'm sure you'll love it. Particularly when you get asked questions like "Do you have the internet here?"
Don't critisize my job until you've done it.

pickarooney

I think he was criticising your attitude rather than your job. So what if they ask "stupid" questions, nobody's hurting you. You can get a laugh out of it at least. IF you didn't have a bug up your arse, that is.

otherdave

These kind of people that don't have a clue get the jobs that pay decent money simply because they know somebody in the business. It's sad but thats the way it is in Ireland.

Hard workers who learned how to use a damn computer have to put up with crap because those who don't know how to use one are scared of it and then transfer that scared feeling into making fun of those that do know how to use one. Thats why there's the word nerd.

Spalk0

Linoge wrote:

They are funny, but the chances of any of them being true are slim, maybe one or two.

Oh i bet they are true!Weve had worse when i was in Peats!had a woman come in sayin her mouse didnt work!it would go left or right ok but not up or down!we eventually found(after many times calling her back in and all) that to go up or down she was lifting the mouse off the table! :rolleyes: absolute muppet!

Spalk0

Cactus Col wrote:

Most, if not all, of these stories are crap, in fact Eddie Izzard used at least one on one of his shows (don't know if he originated it though)

Many People who go to internet cafe's may not have a computer, hence the reason they are in the internet cafe in the first place, so why should they know where the @ key on a keyboard is, or what a floppy drive is.

In fact Read Write (I think that's the name of the show, helps teach people to read and write), recommended people go to Internet Cafes to get accustomed to using computers.

But if the two people who worked in Internet cafe's in this thread represent what the majority of people who work in them are like, (which I don't believe they do) then they are a bunch of total dickheads and c*nts.

Don't like your customers? then get a different job.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

Emm i think she has a bit of a point there!I work with customers meself that require assistance!Some of them though dont even have the cop on to take in what im saying and virtually want ya to personally assist them through the whole thing!We have other customers to look after aswell ya know!its called time management!The research is there for them to do, not us!We just help them if they get stuck!

otherdave

Trigger! wrote:

Emm i think she has a bit of a point there!I work with customers meself that require assistance!Some of them though dont even have the cop on to take in what im saying and virtually want ya to personally assist them through the whole thing!We have other customers to look after aswell ya know!its called time management!The research is there for them to do, not us!We just help them if they get stuck!

You can only have so much patients with the really stupid people though, that don't have the copon to learn the first few times so that they don't ask you for help again and again.

Besides, whats the F1 key for again?

Thats right.

Use it stupid people and learn like the rest of us.