The bard gets published

Bard

I'm sure I'm far from the only one here, but anyway- poetry.com have decided to publish one of my scribblings in a book of theirs. The book is called "The Silence Within", - the poem, about a lost love across the ocean,- and more, is quoted below:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
"Eternity Unfinished"

No dominating deities or demons drive my day,
Icon worship now, my mind firmly keeps at bay,
Through quiet burning solitude, where all I see I say -
A cold, unfeeling ocean laying calmly in my way.

A sunset seen so shimmering, yet difficult to care
For beauty's lost and wasted, with no-one here to share
Down she dips as dolphins dive, dazzling with flair
But my heart's across the ocean - thoughts ever-resting there.

Moonbeam shards and speckle stars brighten the black sky
Like stab-holes cut in fabric, where minds can freely fly
Standing, staring - from the hilltop, confused and scared- but why?
The ocean holding back my dreams, waves laughing at each cry.

And in a night of perpetual fright, rain thunders groundward-bound -
The wind's own scream tears up the dream, a horrifying sound.
When natures roar is heard once more and terror circles round -
Fighting fears, with frozen tears, there now, alone - I'm found.

Niall D. O'Keeffe

Copyright ©2001 Niall O'Keeffe
</font>

...opinions?

---

Bard

---

"We do know it was we who scorched the sky..."

[This message has been edited by Bard (edited 29-04-2001).]

Trojan

I wouldn't deign to comment on the poem, I'm not well read, however, this must be said: well done!

Al.

Paladin

Excellent!

WhiteWashMan

its nice to see someone put some real talented work up for a change
nice one niall.
and also fair balls. i think weve all delved into this stuff at one stage or another, however id be embaressed to put anything ive done up. not tyhat i think most people here would be able to give a balanced review, but generally coz its crap
but to be published, again, well done.
by the way, i like your poem. even if it is a bit, er, dark...

Bard

Thanks guys... appreciated.

It must be said- posting my poem or anything like it up on boards.ie is a wee bit more daunting than putting it on poetry.com

---

Bard

---

"We do know it was we who scorched the sky..."

WhiteWashMan

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bard:
Thanks guys... appreciated.

It must be said- posting my poem or anything like it up on boards.ie is a wee bit more daunting than putting it on poetry.com

</font>

yes, we all being well educated and appreciating poetry critics

Blitzkrieger

excellent

It's in my nature to critise so I'll say it's a bit rough around the edges but :

exellent

You do know that none of us will buy the book out of curiosity now?

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Blitzkrieger:
excellent

It's in my nature to critise so I'll say it's a bit rough around the edges but :

exellent

You do know that none of us will buy the book out of curiosity now? </font>

Dunno if I'll even buy it myself - ... at $50 it's a smidge steep. Thanks for the comments... and yeah- rough around the edges it IS, - but that was it after just a first draft and at the time I decided not to refine it and just leave it at that. The rhyming wasn't really intentional, btw- a lot of my writings seem to just naturally come out in rhyme...

[This message has been edited by Bard (edited 30-04-2001).]

plastic membrane

Well done dude, ya did us proud. As a form of expressive thought, im not that big a fan of poems, but, and im not trying to fawn all over you in any way, i quite enjoyed reading that.

---

Damn it Jim, im a doctor, not a Beefy King !

LoLth

Nice one B!

I especially like the last verse. All very epic altogether

I'm not a poetry fan per se... but I did study the Latin ones and I like the dramatic ones (paradise lost, Morte D'Arthur) etc.

Yours sort of has a bigger-than-I'm-letting-you-know feel to it.

Book price is a bit steep for my blood though, sorry!

oh, and mandatory bad point: I didn't really like the first two lines.. they just seem a bit over the top/ forced in my opinion. Mind you, this is the opinion of a person who only ever wrote one crappy half-poem (half riddle for a role playing game by the way).

Shiminay

Played Niall! Congrats.

I don't read poetry, so I don't really know what's hot or not, but congrats none the less!

---

All the best!
Dav
@B^)
So I turned around to Jack Charlton and said: "Well of course it's not a football Jack, it's an '86 Chardonay!!!"
[honey i] violated [the kids]
Tribes 2 Goodness
The Dawn of the Beefy King approaches...

Da Bounca

its good

damo

utter ****ing tripe