Brilliant Puns

Lisapeep

I know Shark Tale has been given bad reviews by some critics who say that it's too weighed down by puns. I don't know what you guys thought, but I thought the puns were brilliant - laugh a minute! I especially liked the walk of fame shot in it where you could see names such as Cod Stewart - haha!

Anyway, it's put me in a mood to hear some good puns, you guys got any?

Chonaic

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

A chicken in love is poultry emotion.

OfflerCrocGod

Here is your forum.

Chonaic

I could murdered a bowl of corn flakes, would that make me a cereal killer.

An x-ray doctor married one of his patients, i dont know what he saw in her.

Lisapeep

Why are you directing me to the film forum? This post has more to do with puns than anything else!

PS. I had a very nervous guitar playing friend.
He was always fretting about something.

Lisapeep

I know this isnt a pun but i think it's a good joke - enjoy!

Q: What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A: A bellybutton

dubdvd

lol

Blub2k4

There was a guy once who wanted to check the quality of word plays so he did a test with ten sentences and tested on a large number of people to see how many people laughed, but they were bad, in any case at the end he was checking what ones made people snicker and it turns out ....no pun in ten did!

pickarooney

One day, Kermit Jagger goes into a bank because he needs a loan. He asks the teller and is directed to Ms. Patty Wick. He tells Ms. Wick that he needs a loan. She tells him (rather haughtily) that he needs some sort of collateral because they don't go loaning frogs money every day.

So, Kermit reaches into his bag and hands Ms. Wick a small glass elephant. "What is this?" she asks. "We can't give you a loan using *this* as collateral!" Kermit tells Ms. Wick to go talk to the bank manger.

So, Ms. Wick goes to the manager and asks him why she should take the glass elephant as collateral. The manager replies......

"It's a knicknack, Patty Wick. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

jor el

A man was in a posh seafood restaraunt in Paris and ordered some squid for dinner. He went to the tank to pick the one he'd like and spotted a cute little green squid that sat alone at the bottom of the tank. It caught his eye as it seemed to have a mustache and the man decided to give that a try for a laugh. The chef, Jervais, asked the man if he was sure as this particular squid as it had been in the restaraunt a long time and was like part of the family now. The man was insistant though.

Jervais picked the little squid from the tank and brought him to the kitchen and laid him out on the chopping block, but when he saw the little squid looking up at him with his cute little eyes and furry lip, he couldn't bring himself to kill him. He decided it was best to ask the dishwasher, a big German named Hans, to do the deed instead.

Hans took the knife from Jervais and went ot the table. But liek Jervais, the little squids sad lonely eyes and furry lip melted his heart and he was unable to do the deed.




The moral of the story: Hans that do dishes can be soft as Jervais, with mild green furry lip squid.

bringitdown

Not much of a pun but I larf at it:

"Innuendo ... in your endo"

Scrubs can be so good.

woosaysdan

i decided that im indecisive or am i?

BolBill

Puns??? These are just jokes !!!!
But who cares they're great !!!!!

Headline in the US
"Pro lifers kill Doctor"

Matthewthebig

An old carrot died the funeral was bad but there was a great turnip

smoke.me.a.kipper

bringitdown wrote:

"Innuendo ... in your endo"

Innuendo - itallian suppositries[sp?]

Victor

Our own puns http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=130723

billy the squid

The jockey who fell in todays race is said to be in a stable condition.

Since getting firefox the notion of using internet explorer again have gone out the window.