Slept with my Flatmate..

LegacyUser

.... I didn't mean to. We were just both really drunk one night. Problem is that I wanted to be friends with him. Flatmates don't really sleep with each other, or friends for that matter. I guess that there's little chance of being friends now. With the mystery gone and the conquest completed perhaps on his part. And's he's in a relationship. What does anybody think. I think a lot of him and we seem to have a lot in common. We haven't seen each other since. So I don't know what to expect. But he and I both agreed that there would be no awkwardness beforehand. I think I was a bit lonely at the time but now I feel that I've made a mess of things.

LegacyUser

I've messed up wrote:

.... I didn't mean to. We were just both really drunk one night. Problem is that I wanted to be friends with him. Flatmates don't really sleep with each other, or friends for that matter. I guess that there's little chance of being friends now. With the mystery gone and the conquest completed perhaps on his part. And's he's in a relationship. What does anybody think. I think a lot of him and we seem to have a lot in common. We haven't seen each other since. So I don't know what to expect. But he and I both agreed that there would be no awkwardness beforehand. I think I was a bit lonely at the time but now I feel that I've made a mess of things.

Are you male or female?

IrishMike

I've messed up wrote:

.... I didn't mean to. We were just both really drunk one night. Problem is that I wanted to be friends with him. Flatmates don't really sleep with each other, or friends for that matter. I guess that there's little chance of being friends now.

Its more than possible to sleep with a friend and still be friends afterwards.
It depends on wheather ye both have a lot of feelings for each other. If ye both
"just" want to be friends and nothing more then there really isnt a problem.
However the problem arises when either one of ye has feelings and want
something more than just friendship. If i was you i would sit the other person
down and talk to them, sexual tension is a killer !

feylya

I've messed up wrote:

.... I didn't mean to. We were just both really drunk one night. Problem is that I wanted to be friends with him. Flatmates don't really sleep with each other, or friends for that matter. I guess that there's little chance of being friends now. With the mystery gone and the conquest completed perhaps on his part. And's he's in a relationship. What does anybody think. I think a lot of him and we seem to have a lot in common. We haven't seen each other since. So I don't know what to expect. But he and I both agreed that there would be no awkwardness beforehand. I think I was a bit lonely at the time but now I feel that I've made a mess of things.

The important thing is, did you enjoy it?

Tiriel

feylya wrote:

The important thing is, did you enjoy it?

yep that's the thing you see! did it leave you wanting more that would be tough on a friendship, 'specially when he's seeing someone else..

jesus_thats_gre

Talk to him, ask him what he expects/want and tell him what you want/expect.. See what comes of that, until then, don't worry about it.

bugler

You didn't "mean" to? You tripped and accidentally landed on his **** I suppose. It's bad news. Moving in somewhere (I can only assume from the tone of the post that you've recently moved in, or else he has) and then sleeping with a flatmate before you've had the chance to become friends is not the way to domestic bliss, especially if he has a girlfriend who will no doubt spend some time there. Sure, friendships can survive this sort of indiscretion (I've had one come through it ok with some awkardness), but it doesn't sound like you two had any friendship to survive it. Instead you seem to have effectively moved in with a one night stand, but in reverse order. Score!

Move out.

OLDYELLAR

well when the other half of the relationship hes in comes around it might be a bit awkward yea , being completely honest i hate cheaters guts and think they should be strung up .personally yea i think it will be awkward might be hard to move out if your stuck in a lease or whatever but like if he just goes around cheating on people hes hardly worth worrying about anyway.

smoke.me.a.kipper

did you know about his relationship beforehand?

Tiriel

I've messed up wrote:

.... I didn't mean to. We were just both really drunk one night. Problem is that I wanted to be friends with him. Flatmates don't really sleep with each other, or friends for that matter. I guess that there's little chance of being friends now. With the mystery gone and the conquest completed perhaps on his part. And's he's in a relationship. What does anybody think. I think a lot of him and we seem to have a lot in common. We haven't seen each other since. So I don't know what to expect. But he and I both agreed that there would be no awkwardness beforehand. I think I was a bit lonely at the time but now I feel that I've made a mess of things.

you didn't mean to... but had time to discuss things?!

OLDYELLAR

i know were meant to give an unbiased opinion or whatever , but there is only one solution , first you think it`ll be awkward , soultion one of ye move out theres your awkward gone , and dont sleep with the next one because your lonely or whatever.
second the weridness probably set in when ye sat down to discuss the awkward weirdness that would never exist.

b3t4

I've messed up wrote:

And's he's in a relationship

Red flag, save yourself a lot of trouble and just forget about it. It happened not much that can be done about that now. Talking about it is not going to make it any less awkward just acting normal and try not to treat him any different. (did I mention forget about it )

I think a lot of him and we seem to have a lot in common.

Stop thinking along these lines. You think a lot of him, like what, you fancy him, he's good in bed, wouldn't mind not being on your own, etc. It was drunk, casual sex, thats all.

He's in a relationship, forget about it.

A.

jesus_thats_gre

Give the girl a ****ing break. She ****ed up and is trying to figure out how to make ammends. She is not posting up to get a lecture from her mother. Its as if none of you ever done anything wrong. How many of you are single? I am guessing its out of "choice" yeah.

Her guest name sort of suggests she know she made a mistake already, she doesnt need to be told over and over!

OLDYELLAR

Im not single , havent been for a long time , and were all entitled to an opinion and she did say "what does anybody think" so were just saying what we think.
I think in order for there to be absolutely no weirdness one of them needs to move out especially if like she says she does think a lot of him and his girlfriend is still with him , it`l be a lot harder to see them togeather now they`ve been togeather.Im giving it straight the way i see it in my head , i could be right i could be wrong but im just saying what i think.

isolde

Most people sleep with someone and regret it afterwards from time to time, so don't stress too much. Play it cool and treat it like it was.. just sex. If you actually want to get into a relationship with him, then that's another problem altogether. If you both know it was just a drunken mistake, then I don't see why you can't just forget about it, as such. Sure, t'will be a bit strange at first but things will calm down again.

~isolde.

Hagar

Why do people get so hung up about having sex with friends?
If you can't have sex with friends who the hell can you have sex with?
Total strangers? Someone off the bus?
Me and the wife have been friends for years and the odd rogering hasn't upset anything.
Get on with enjoying your life. Boink all your friends, most of them will enjoy it.

Corksham

Hagar wrote:

Why do people get so hung up about having sex with friends?
If you can't have sex with friends who the hell can you have sex with?
Total strangers? Someone off the bus?
Me and the wife have been friends for years and the odd rogering hasn't upset anything.
Get on with enjoying your life. Boink all your friends, most of them will enjoy it.

I wonder how many marriages survive with that kind of infidelity? If I was married to someone I loved I wouldnt shag other people and I certainly wouldnt boast about it but different stokes for different folks

karlh

Corksham wrote:

I wonder how many marriages survive with that kind of infidelity? If I was married to someone I loved I wouldnt shag other people and I certainly wouldnt boast about it but different stokes for different folks

I think you should read his post again.

I agree, let the love flow!.......ewww.

narommy

I think you should act like it was no biggie. Get on with your life. Don't dwell on it.

Or do be sexually attractive and a tiny bit of a teasse. If he want's it again then let him know it's not goint to happen when he has a gf.

This forum is full of girls posting about being a bit on the side and how miserable they are. Don't go there. He's got his introductary sample. If he wants some more he needs to show you he's serious.

Do you know his gf well. Is she part of you circle of friends.

Private Joker

I once slept with three housemates from the same house ( not at the same time mind you ) and there was absolutely no problems, apart from one one of them tryin to knife me after catching me in bed with some one. :cool:


But seriously, you're really gona have to talk to him and clear the air, if it was a bit of fun then just tell him that, otherwise there is gona be an awkward tension between the two of you

tribble

She just slept with him.
It's only sex.
Relax - if you don't love him and he doesn't love you then wheres the problem?

F'ing irish...

Hagar

Corksham wrote:

I wonder how many marriages survive with that kind of infidelity? If I was married to someone I loved I wouldnt shag other people and I certainly wouldnt boast about it but different stokes for different folks

I think you misunderstood me. I have been married for 23 years, many of them happy , and have never played away. She's a great woman and I wouldn't insult her by doing anything like that.

I suggesting that the original poster who is young free and single should enjoy themselves without any needless guilt. Just stay healthy.

Don't take chances
Don't be silly
stick a condom
on your willy

pickarooney

Private Joker wrote:

I once slept with three housemates from the same house ( not at the same time mind you ) and there was absolutely no problems, apart from one one of them tryin to knife me after catching me in bed with some one. :cool:

That must have been one big house...

KlodaX

I think you just got the sexual tension out of the way. No harm there.
Now ye can go on about your ways like normal friendly flat mates .... no tension.

Private Joker

pickarooney wrote:

That must have been one big house...

It was actually, there was 12 in the house, it was better than big brother.

Corksham

Hagar wrote:

I think you misunderstood me. I have been married for 23 years, many of them happy , and have never played away. She's a great woman and I wouldn't insult her by doing anything like that.

I suggesting that the original poster who is young free and single should enjoy themselves without any needless guilt. Just stay healthy.

Don't take chances
Don't be silly
stick a condom
on your willy

My apologies

I agree that the poster should enjoy herself

The Sweeper

This bit:

I've messed up wrote:

.... I didn't mean to. We were just both really drunk one night. .

Completely contradicts this:

I've messed up wrote:

But he and I both agreed that there would be no awkwardness beforehand.

Drunk enough to decide to go for it, but sober enough to plan in advance? How can you not mean to do something that you've agreed the minutae of?

I reckon you may be feeling a little foolish specifically because you haven't spoken since. Of course there'll be some sheepish awkwardness. Are you feeling a little unsure of yourself because there hasn't been the mutual friendly post coital back-slapping you hoped there would be?

Why don't you chill out a bit and see what happens when you do see him again?

logic1

Cook him a big fry up saturday morning then sit there sucking the Dennys finest quality extra large sausages seductively and dribbling pan fat down your chin onto your chest rub it off with a thick wedge of buttery door stop loaf before licking your plate clean with that 8 inch tongue.

Judging by your past signals that should give him a clear indication that it was only a one night stand.

.logic.

Dr. Loon

logic1 wrote:

Cook him a big fry up saturday morning then sit there sucking the Dennys finest quality extra large sausages seductively and dribbling pan fat down your chin onto your chest rub it off with a thick wedge of buttery door stop loaf before licking your plate clean with that 8 inch tongue.

Judging by your past signals that should give him a clear indication that it was only a one night stand.

.logic.

I can't give you rep cos I'm all out, but that's fúckin classic. I agree.

landser

s**t, thought this said "sleep with my flatmate", and it was some kind of offer, and that the flatamte was a girl. now that i've read it all i can say is,
it's funny cos it's someone else!

although, let's face it, you don't know him very long, so it's not as if you slept with your best mate. if he had decided to move out before you slept with him, you probably wouldn't have cared. it's not as if that by his not being your mate, your whole social life'll fall apart. if it's awkward around the flat, show him the door.