Cuckoo in the nest

mycroft

Right myself and the girlfriend are renting a small two bedroom flat.

A few weeks ago her cousin texts her tells her that she's moving up to Dublin has a job and needs a place to stay while she looks for a flat. I think it's fine but my girlfriend has some concerns. The cousin is a little odd (23 none smoker non drinker comes out with lines like "I'm very intelligent for someone who doesn't read books just watches tv)

So she moves up. For starts she moves up the night before she starts her new job, but says work will give her time to look. In the first week she only looks at (by looks at she went to one with me, to be fair it was manky and called about two to our knowledge) I cook every night (actually having someone point a knife at her chicken breast and go "whats that?" in a disgusted manner) and she just sits vancantly on the couch staring at TV.

Now myself and the girlfriend have been through a rocky patch and really do need some quality time at the moment, and my girlfriend has told her (half true) that we're having some work done the week after so she can't stay. I have sympathy for the girl she's not outgoing, she seems mildly autistic to be honest, she has some delusion that she'll be able to work from limerick (despite the company do have a limerick office unmanned) soon. I want to help her out, but want my home back. Advice?

uberwolf

you have to bite the bullet at some point at that point seems to be now, as yourself and the GF are having difficulties. This has to be your priority and if someone is unwilling to help themselves you're not obliged to either.

Good luck with the GF

landser

i had the same situation with arelative of mine who came to live with me and my girlfriend. unfortunately, it's difficult to extricate yourself from these situations. if you charge rent and board then you can give legitimacy to their staying with you. If you don't, they freeload. Luckily for us, our lease was up on our place after a couple of months, so we moved! a bit drastic, i know, but it was the only solution open to us. the other alternative is to be really obnoxious to her and hope that that works.

Nasty_Girl

Be mean and light fags outside her door! Only messing, Seriously If it was me I'd try and help her find a place to live by which I mean keep ringing places in the paper bringing her to see etc, it's a sacrifice of time and paitence on your part but you can get your home back guilt free!

Sleepy

www.daft.ie

Find her a place and bring her to see a few of them? Might get the "hint" across...

mycroft

landser wrote:

i had the same situation with arelative of mine who came to live with me and my girlfriend. unfortunately, it's difficult to extricate yourself from these situations. if you charge rent and board then you can give legitimacy to their staying with you. If you don't, they freeload.

Thats what I was thinking if we charge rent, thats it she's in. One of the stresses we're going through is the flat has damp (I should point out it's a two bedroom, but a small two bedroom, the living space is really only suitable for two people) and the house we were buying fell through.

Sleepy we've actually looked on daft for her, and I've taken her to see the place, unfortunately she's dead on set on living in the area we're in (ranelagh) (favourite excuse so far was a place in Dundrum was "too" close to work)

The Corinthian

Arrange for one of your mates/cousins who you’ve not seen in a while to come up to visit in six weeks time. Tell your GF's cousin this was arranged ages ago and you’ll need the space, so she’ll have to be somewhere else. That gives her a deadline that she cannot do anything about, without you actually telling her to leave.

DapperGent

Do you own the place or are you renting?

If you're renting you can make up some bullshít about the landlord only wanting the two of you staying there. Pretend he/she came over or something.

Sneaky.

mycroft

DapperGent wrote:

Do you own the place or are you renting?

If you're renting you can make up some bullshít about the landlord only wanting the two of you staying there. Pretend he/she came over or something.

Sneaky.

Hey not bad....... Yeah we do rent and we have had the landlord over at the weekend. And he's coming back next week.

Corthinan also not a bad idea but I was kind of hoping to get rid of her in six days.

samo

definitley....very good idea there dapper gent, most landlords can be iffy about more than stated no of people staying due to insurance issues as can be void if more than certain no of people.

Will have to remember that one for the future....hope it works out well, dont feel guilty about it. There's a lot of people that wouldnt have let her set foot in the house in the 1st place so you've done alright by her.

Wolf

mycroft wrote:

Hey not bad....... Yeah we do rent and we have had the landlord over at the weekend. And he's coming back next week.

Corthinan also not a bad idea but I was kind of hoping to get rid of her in six days.

If you ask the landlord he might actually do it as a favour after all u got damp hehe

If not you just got go all "we need space because of our relationship and all that." She can't stay can she?

tinkerbell

Yah just tell her that the landlord doesn't approve, or just tell her it ain't working out and she has to find her own place.

It ain't fair on you and your girl having to share the place with her when she seems too lazy to go look for her own place. And especially if you n your girl need quality time - just tell the cousin she has got to go!

She's a big girl now so she'll just have to deal with it

therecklessone

mycroft wrote:

The cousin is a little odd (23 none smoker non drinker comes out with lines like "I'm very intelligent for someone who doesn't read books just watches tv)

I'd start by telling her she can't be too intelligent, or sh'd have realised that she's not bloody welcome by now...

Seriously, you don't need this if things have been rocky for you and the GF recently. Get her out, and don't lose a minutes sleep over it.

Best of luck with the GF.

jesus_thats_gre

The Corinthian wrote:

Arrange for one of your mates/cousins who you’ve not seen in a while to come up to visit in six weeks time. Tell your GF's cousin this was arranged ages ago and you’ll need the space, so she’ll have to be somewhere else. That gives her a deadline that she cannot do anything about, without you actually telling her to leave.

This is genius!!

jesus_thats_gre

tinkerbell wrote:

She's a big girl now

Very bitchy

pickarooney

She's not going to survive in Dublin. Tell her this and give her a bus-ticket home to Limerick/fantasyland/leechworld.

tinkerbell

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

Very bitchy

haha well tiz the truth! She's 23, and has to go find her own place!

Actually, that idea about telling her a friend is coming to stay and needs the space should work (unless she comes along the lines of "oh she / he can sleep on the couch") - I reckon come straight out with it and tell her to move her ass!

mycroft

pickarooney wrote:

She's not going to survive in Dublin. Tell her this and give her a bus-ticket home to Limerick/fantasyland/leechworld.

Yet again she was talking about the delusion that she can go back to limerick and do her job from there. I'm looking at her and saying "you'll have no one directly over you, it won't happen two weeks into the job" and yet again she's creating this fantasy and re reading her bosses comments over it over and over again.

That and she's only seen one place this week, and went to the bathroom six times between 6-9 this morning. I may do a brookside on this.

tinkerbell

or you could just pack up all her stuff, put it outside the front door, and change the locks problem sorted!!!

Sleepy

DapperGent wrote:

Do you own the place or are you renting?

If you're renting you can make up some bullshít about the landlord only wanting the two of you staying there. Pretend he/she came over or something.

Sneaky.

Another problem solved by Boards PI.

Now where's the ferrari?

mycroft

tinkerbell wrote:

or you could just pack up all her stuff, put it outside the front door, and change the locks problem sorted!!!

And when we go over to their (my girlfriend and her cousins) grandmum's gaff on stephen's day over christmas, I sincerely doubt I'll be offered leftovers. :rolleyes:

tinkerbell

I reckon just go with the whole landlord thing. While she's out at work some day, tell her that the landlord called while she was out - and that he / she said they only wanted two people in the apartment, not three.

Victor

You need to help her grow up. Push her on the house hunting. Treat her as if you were her boss. Also, make her cook for herself.

tinkerbell wrote:

I reckon just go with the whole landlord thing. While she's out at work some day, tell her that the landlord called while she was out - and that he / she said they only wanted two people in the apartment, not three.

Hardly plausible in a two-bedroomed apartment.

K!LL!@N

Get a mean looking friend to call over pretending to either be the landlord or someone the landlord sent.
Make sure she sees him, but ask him to step outside so you can talk about it.

Write a fake eviction notice stating that you'll all be kicked out if she's not gone soon, for breach of lease.

Get your girlfriend to call you while she's there and pretend it's the landlord, or vice versa.

Put something that smells horrible in her room while she's out, then take it out so she can't find it. Repeat til she's gone.

Have lots of loud sex late at night.
That might help you and the girlfriend out in the process.
Maybe talk about it over breakfast the next morning, while she's there?
Ask her if she thought it sounded good?

Or just ask her politely to leave.

Killian

Etain

I'm very direct, so I like the direct approach:
You both might sit down with her and calmly set a date for her to be out. Talk to her together so neither of you will be seen as the villian. Explain that she probably won't find the ideal place right away, but she must find her own place.You don't need to give a reason, you've been very kind to let her stay this long.
Keep reminding her of the departure date and don't let her talk either of you out of it. Pushing her out will force her to stand on her own two feet-- or else move back home. Good Luck.

sceptre

mycroft wrote:

Sleepy we've actually looked on daft for her, and I've taken her to see the place, unfortunately she's dead on set on living in the area we're in (ranelagh) (favourite excuse so far was a place in Dundrum was "too" close to work)

At a guess I'd say she's dead set on living in your flat but obviously I don't know anything.

I'd go with the DapperGent suggestion. Blame someone else, set it up so she can't dart back in and the "evil landlord, can't do anything, isn't it awful but it's his place" story should do the trick. Only works if your GF agrees to go along with the lie but if she's good with the "having work done" lie then she should be fine with this.

Etain's approach is the correct one of course but you mightn't get seconds of dessert at Christmas if you do that.

billy the squid

Victor wrote:

Hardly plausible in a two-bedroomed apartment.

plus whats to stop your flatmate confronting the landlord

tinkerbell

Is the cousin paying some of the rent or is she just crashing there for free?

mycroft

sceptre wrote:

At a guess I'd say she's dead set on living in your flat but obviously I don't know anything.

I'd go with the DapperGent suggestion. Blame someone else, set it up so she can't dart back in and the "evil landlord, can't do anything, isn't it awful but it's his place" story should do the trick. Only works if your GF agrees to go along with the lie but if she's good with the "having work done" lie then she should be fine with this.

Etain's approach is the correct one of course but you mightn't get seconds of dessert at Christmas if you do that.

See the people who have come up with complex lies I doubt live in the real world the hassle of finding a mate who'll lie and lie convincely and get away with it.

Frankly my girlfriend is more insistent on getting rid of her then I, I'm a little more sympathetic but after doing the washing up, being woken up at seven again and another rant from her of the potential of setting up a limerick office (it's bordering on delusional at this stage) I'm getting fed up.

tinkerbell she's not paying rent, she offered but frankly I don't want it I feel it'd give her the aura of legitmacy and may make her feel some kind of legitmacy in staying her. I need her to feel like a guest. I've even discovered she's not keen on spicy food so its burritos and curry for the rest of the week then.

Sleepy

You could just try saying to her that "we'd better find a place fast cos if the landlord finds out there's three people staying here he's gonna be thick, the lease is only for [yourself] and [your girlfriend]".

If she keeps carping on about the "limerick office", say something like "well, we better get you a place in the meantime, it'd be at least 6 months before they could organise something like that!"

tinkerbell

Well, then I reckon that since she's your girlfriend's cousin - then your girlfriend should get rid of her! It'd be easier that way because your gf is actually related to her and would probably find it easier saying it straight out to her rather than you having to say it, no?

She ain't paying rent, she's being a nuisance and cramping your space - it ain't fair on you guys. And it sounds to me like she's either (a) too lazy to find a place of her own or (b) she just couldn't be bothered coz she's got a nice cushy number going with you guys (no rent, close to work, etc). So I reckon that she ain't even gonna try looking for her own place, especially since she only looks at only one place a week.

You're gonna have to just get your girl or you to say it straight out to her - that it was only a temporary place til she gets her own place and quite frankly, she has outstayed her welcome! How long is she there now? And tell her to cut the crap about the Limerick office and start living in the real world!