Drunk at work....

Roar

lads i just arrived at work and I'm hammered. woke up at quarter past nine, although my alarm was set for 7. got a cab to work, and now i reek of cheap booze and tic tacs.

anyone got any tips on how to appear completely sober for the rest of the day? i've been guzzling coffee and green Extra's and spraying myself with deodarant every five mins. and my boss is at the desk opposite!

this is gonna be the longest day ever..... :eek:

aidan_walsh

How to appear sober at work: Turn up to work sober in future. You'll never have to worry about faking it again!

Blitzkrieger

A good hour's sleep in the bog works wonders. Otherwise you'll start to perk up about half an hour before quitting time.

ixoy

Your afternoon's going to be fun

D!ve^Bomb!

ha ha.. thats sum funny $hit

Sleipnir

All you can do is remember that you're boss has turned up to work drunk at one time or another in the past. Everybody has.

Spalk0

Been there before many times!....not really sure what you can do, keep drinking the coffee!Just gotta accept the fact your gonna look like a mess till the afternoon anyways!

PullMyFinger!

Coffee might just make you worse, always does with me when Im that fcuked. Drink loads of red bull and water and flush the crap out of your system.

gimmick

Speed. Lots of Speed*.

Pull a sicky.

I find the best way is always splash lots of cold water on your face every so often.

I take it you didnt just go to the cinema last night?


*gimmick does not endorse the use of illegal drugs.

magpie

Pick up a file / piece of paper and wander off looking purposeful. Head for the jacks and have a sleep on the throne. At lunch go out and get the biggest pub lunch available to humanity. Have another snooze in the jacks in the afternoon. Go home after another fulfilling day's work. Try to avoid going out on the lash on sunday nights.

climaxer

Its been a long time since I've done that but I remember a bottle of lucozade works wonders. Also get some food into you if you can. A roll with some rashers and sausages. I agree with drinking plenty of water too. I really don't envy you - its terrible. The worst I ever was was the morning after out xmas night out a few years ago. Not a nice feeling. Luckily we had a half day and everyone was hung over so we didn't have to do much.

woosaysdan

a large strawberry yogurt, loads of lucozade and water and someting to eat

okidoki987

Keep the head down, do the work and try not to speak to anyone.
If somebody does come near you, leg it to the bog and sit in there for 10 mins, hopefully they will be gone by the time you return.
E-mail anybody you needed to speak to.
Mints and freash breath spray never go wrong.

Spalk0

Yeah a big fry-up usually does the trick!.....if it doesnt make you sick first!hehe

Mighty_Mouse

Eye-drops, eye-drops, eye-drops ........................

Roar

gimmick wrote:

I take it you didnt just go to the cinema last night?

Bad santa was sold out so the obvious thing to do after that wasgo to the pub for five hours

dahamsta

Blitzkrieger wrote:

A good hour's sleep in the bog works wonders.

I'm afraid I have to concur. Bring a bottle of water and some alka-seltzer with you.

Kêrmêttê

Blitzkrieger wrote:

A good hour's sleep in the bog works wonders. Otherwise you'll start to perk up about half an hour before quitting time.

I have to agree with this.
You're gonna look like you were dragged backwards through a hedge until lunchtime.
A massive attack of the sleepies with strike just after lunchtime.
You will start to feel vaguely human again roughly an hour or half an hour before you're due to go home.
Best of luck dude!

seamus

Bottle of lucozade sport, salad sandwich and tonnes of water.

Right as rain in no time.

You'll smell like cheap booze all day though, nothing can be done about that.

ixoy

I also vote for a sleep in the bogs for ya. It's what I have to do when wrecked after a night out. We also have showers on some floors where people are less likely to disturb you and you can curl up on the floor. Just go in, set your phone's alarm, and get even 10-15 minutes kip.

Take a greasy lunch if you can and make sure you drink plenty of fluids. Whenever I'm knackered, I drink cup after cup of water, particularly in the afternoon when I'm at my worst. Sometimes then, after toddling home, I collapse into bed and have a nice nap.

See drink is bad. I got by on three pints last night and I'm just a little sleepy now but I'll be able to manage. I stopped in time... this time anyway...

KlodaX

Kêrmêtt&#234 wrote:

You're gonna look like you were dragged backwards through a hedge until lunchtime.

Untill lunchtime? whenever I've arrived to work straight from the night before (this happens surprisingly often) I generally don't sober up till lunchtime.

2 O'Clock is when the fun time begins. You probably don't really notice that you are at work yet. You will probably forget how you got to work by this evening

I suggest leaving the coffee alone... enjoy being out of while you can.. *start on the water now*... have a sausage sandwich for lunch with a coffee and pain killers *which contain caffine* .... and just sit very quietly for the afternoon. Hope that no one notices.

If you can grab a quick shower at lunchtime that would be great also... cause I can smell you from here!

yossarin

sugar in water and a kip in the toilet.

keep your head down.
good luck soldier.

Ph3n0m

I recommend the following


2 cans of red bull
1 ltr bottle of water
1 immensely full breakfast roll - or failing that a toasted sausage and cheese sandwich

consume in the following order
red bull, some water, breakfast roll, red bull, rest of water, repeat intake of water throughout day


now you will be wired for the rest of the day or your guts will fall out when you sneeze - enjoy

Zombienosh

i'd just go home sick.......

its no fun being there drunk or stoned - or being green.

from experience i speak...

Zulu

You can't beat the Bottle of Lucozade sport. Food will settle the tummy.
Alka-Seltzer for the hangover. (Don't be afraid to put Alka-Seltzer in the Lucozade)

Other than that, sleep is the only thing, and since thats not too much of an option, it time to start slacking.

Thing about drink and work is, you need to slack today. If you try to get work done, you'll screw things up and create more work for yourself tomorrow. The responsible thing to do today is to worm and weasel your ways out of anything/everything. If you can that a half day or knock off early - start planning your escape.

Good luck, you'll need it.

Spalk0

Oh Dear god no not red bull!......that **** is horrid!

Kêrmêttê

KlodaX wrote:

Untill lunchtime? whenever I've arrived to work straight from the night before (this happens surprisingly often) I generally don't sober up till lunchtime.

That's exactly what I meant :rolleyes:

Tom Dunne

Granny Smith, your only woman.

Have a Granny Smith apple - get's the smell of drink off your breath. Also de-furries the tongue.

I would also heartily endorse Lucozade Sport and lots of water.

Stark

Aye.

Fish oil tablets if you have them are great I think, they don't sober you up but do seem to lubricate your sandpapered brain (or something ), anyway they make my head feel good If you don't have them, go for the fry-up, many places fry the stuff in oil.

Damn, I wish I'd thought of ixoy's "curl up in the showers" suggestion. Sounds icky, but with some of my hangovers, it would definitely have been an option. I found I never managed to sleep in the bogs.

Chad ghostal

id suggest you follow the above advice,
food, (no water), lots of lucozade sport and if you can manage it, id try and nip another drink,

itll keep you going after lunch, when you will begin to falter,
id also advise nap in toilet

going home is a bad idea, cause everyone will know your going home because of hangover and it looks crappy..(this only applies if you in a "real" job)

ferdi

leave the office for 5 mins, claiming to be getting lunch or something, go to an offie, buy naggin of cheapest nastiest vodka, spray yourself with it (you will now obviously stink off booze) and claim that some bum/drunk/scumbag spilled it over you on the road.

pickarooney

Have a shower, if such luxuries are available at your place of work.

Roar

well i'm on lunch now, still dying now. just had a roll, a packet of walkers, a litre of milk and some panadol. don't feel drunk anymore, just sluggish. mybrain feels like it wants to remove itself from my skull.

ah well, only 8 hours left to go!!

ixoy

Roar wrote:

ah well, only 8 hours left to go!!

Eight hours?! What sort of nightmarish job are you in you poor man!

magpie

Eight hours?! What sort of nightmarish job are you in you poor man!

Surgeons have to work long hours you know.

billy the squid

magpie wrote:

Surgeons have to work long hours you know.

I really hope he is not a doctor, dont think i would like him operating on me whilst having the shakes from drink!

KlodaX

magpie wrote:

Surgeons have to work long hours you know.

:eek: drunk surgeon!

krattapopov

i'd try and sneak out to the nearest pub for a pint fix........ nothing like the hair of the dog to cure what ailes ya

Furp

I find that on the odd occasion that I have been at work with a bad hangover and the two occasions I've shown up to work still drunk, drinking water, eating some fruit and a fry work great.

What really does it for me though is a large McD's chocolate milkshake or even those ice pops that are like orange ice on the outside and ice cream on the inside. I find it just clears my head right up?

Also a friend of mine swears by cans of diet coke.

Blub2k4

billy the squid wrote:

I really hope he is not a doctor, dont think i would like him operating on me whilst having the shakes from drink!

He doesn't have the shakes from drink, he has them from lack of drink, anyway he cant be a doctor, he's complaining about being HALF drunk.

seamus

A girl I know did some work experience in a hospital for 6 months. Said that on Monday mornings, you'd find some of the junior doctors hooked up to a drip, to rehydrate themselves after a night out. "You can't have doctors with fuzzy heads" she said, seemingly oblivious to the obvious solution to not having a sore head when you're supposed to be doctoring the next day.

stevenmu

I've heard that one too from a nurse in James'. Good old saline solution, I've been trying to get her to bring some home for me but they have some silly policy about nurses removing equiptment from the hospital

therecklessone

A litlle late now, but I'd have recommended nipping down the pub for a few refreshing pints, put you in a much better mood and kill the hangover.

Don't think your boss would appreciate it though...

steveland?

tom dunne wrote:

Granny Smith, your only woman.

Have a Granny Smith apple - get's the smell of drink off your breath. Also de-furries the tongue.

I would also heartily endorse Lucozade Sport and lots of water.

I agree.. apples are great for hangovers and makin ya feel better before work.

Thankfully when im in work drunk im usually stuck working behind the carvery where ya'll sweat the drink outta ya by the time you get your break.

Plus i do split shifts so a few hours in the morning usually means 3 - 4 hours off to sober up before i'm in for the night

Roar

christ yesterday was the longest day EVER!!! thanks to everyone who pitched in with advice,much appreciated. getting to bed last night was the best thing i've ever done. unfortunately i'm back in work today, but thank god, not like i was yesterday. in fact i even had a shower and a shave before i went to work this morning, put on a nice shirt and everything.

so thanks again everyone, and i like i said the last time i went to work drunk, it'll never happen again.

im not a doctor BTW

Tiesto

i cant remember the last time i was at work sober










i work in a pub

gogo

SteveD wrote:

Thankfully when im in work drunk im usually stuck working behind the carvery where ya'll sweat the drink outta ya by the time you get your break.

Um.. Where do you work?..
Not because i'd stop going there because I have an image of you drunk and sweating over my dinner. no just because i'm curious. :eek:

KlodaX

I am wasted. last thing I remember is drinking absent. I don't think I have been home... no I haven't. no car.

probably best. my eyes are stingy and blury. who am I? where are you?

ven0m

KlodaX wrote:

I am wasted. last thing I remember is drinking absent. I don't think I have been home... no I haven't. no car.

probably best. my eyes are stingy and blury. who am I? where are you?

I think maybe you had better find somewhere to sleep it off - Absynthe can be a BITCH to shake off....... I spent a weekend in Prague in January, & man the amount of red & regular absynthe I got through made me a very sick puppy & trying to shake off the effects was a nightmare.... sleep is your only man for that!!!


::: ven0mous :::

Absinthe is possibly the coolest drink ever! While I was living in Vienna, we had to drink as it was so cold. (obviously. -26 degrees on christmas day, what else can you do?) Anyway, we were out ALL DAY and at 8pm we decided to do an Absinthe challenge. One bottle between 3 people. In two hours, the sugar works etc..
Two hours later we left the pub, mission accomplished. Feeling a wee bit "merry", I threw a snowball at my g/f and hit a passerby about 15ft away from her. That mould have been fine but the passerby had 6 friends with them. Cue the biggest snowball fight ever! The bar emptied and there was possibly 40 people throwing snowballs at each other and all complete strangers! Needless to say, I fell on my ass lots.
We went to a club, someone passed me a weird cigarette and after that it got messy. You know the "smack my bitch up" video by the Prodigy? That was my vision. I was bouncing off pillars, walls, people etc.
And I can tie this in to this thread, because after all this shananigans I called into the bar I worked in and had to help out. I ended up doing a strip on the bar I worked in. Thank god there was no CCTV.

And the morale of the story is: Absinthe makes you absent

KlodaX

And the morale of the story is: Absinthe makes you absent

Im severly beginning to relise this. wheres your head at? I can't remember how I got to work. just had food... I think I may die in an hour or two. everything is blury. apparently I went mental last night.. gettin some weird texts. I dislike this. I want a hug. and to be sober. and not at work.

sleep would be good.