Whatever happend to...

Hobbes

Dr & Quinch?

"From DR & Quinches totally awesome guide to life"

What is life?

Life is just this thing that people do when they're not totally dead, man. There is, like, this other school of thought which believes life to be a bowl of cherries, but I submit that they can clearly told apart by the following method: Take the object under consideration and discharge a completely humungous shotgun into it from, like, about this far away. If it sort of makes this weird noise, kicks its legs up and down for a while and then lies still, it was probably life. If, on the other hand, it just leaves this funny stain on the carpet but is otherwise totally unexceptional, it was probably a bowl of cherries. Better luck next time.

But what is life about?

Life is about seventy years, unless you do something utterly outrageous like trying to Slamdance while priming plastic explosives - in which case your guess is as good as mine, man.

Hmm... seventy years isn't very long, is it?

Hey, man, are you kidding? You are brain-stampingly incorrect in this unsubstantiated assertion, man. Consider, if you will, that, for the last fifty years of this period, you will be an old person. Old people are stupefyingly boring and, like, totally gross and nobody, like, likes them.

Why are old people gross and boring?

Not even the finest brains of medical science are able to answer this question, man, but my guess is that it's something glandular. It is ironically ironic, man, that, in an era when mankind is capable of putting a personalized walkman stereo set on the moon, we are still unable to cure or reverse this completely disgusting affliction. To date the only method which I have discovered for making old people less boring is, like, to put some kind of small venemous creature into one of their shoes and then put something utterly skull-crunching on the turntable and pretend they're dancing to it.

Will I one day be a totally boring old person?

That is, like, totally up to you as an individual, man. There are alternatives available, such as the Slamdancing-and-plastic explosive method briefly touched upon above. Many people are of the opinion that you should live fast and a leave a good looking corpse but, in my experience, it's usually better to make sure it's someone else's.

-Waldo D.R. Dobbs
with your sister, somewhere you wouldn't like
1986.

Manach

RE: above,
Given to my recollection they hijacked a time-machine and rearranged the Earth's continents to spell out a rude word, insulting their Uni-adviser, thereby causing a vast galatic armada of aliens to vapourise our planet;
not much caring.
That dates me doesn't it
Though I am grateful to them for their advice regarding stale cornflakes, if only the fissinable material weren't so hard to aquire.

Hobbes

I believe that was the first episode.

I think the last one was the kid writing to his parents at how he was having fun at summer camp.

DR+Quinches guides to Forest fires have saved my life many a time. ("Drop the wounded and run!")

Just they seemed to disappear without trace after that.

LoLth

I thought the planet one was sort of a one off, waaay after their strip finished.

Hehe, still remember

"and send up a bellboy, a fat one, with a fat wallet"

Hobbes

Here's what I remember...


1: Dr + Quinch are expelled from school so they go back in time and help mankind out into the stars while changing the earths geography to offensive language to thier dean, ensuring the earths distruction.

2: Dr + Quinch are on trial and are given one week to redeem themselves. So they set up a home for pyscotic deranged war vets next door to the judge.

3: Dr falls in love. Meanwhile Quinch kidnaps DR's girlfriend to show how evil her boyfriend really is. Instead turns her into a cold blooded killer.

4: Dr + Quinch go to war. Only to find war is a cruel thing (but you get cool weapons). Bumps into his ex, who is now a mercenary and also meets one of the vets who re-enlisted after that intergalatic incident at the home for deranged vets.

5: Dr + Quinch go to Hollywood (the planet). After taking a script and a couple of tickets off dead bum, they plan to make the script into a movie. Only to find out no one can read the script but think it has something to do with Oranges.

6: A letter home to the parents. A kid writes a letter to his parents about how much he's having at Dr+Quinch summer camp.

And it leaves out Dr + Quinch stealing a car. Kind of left up in the air.




[This message has been edited by Hobbes (edited 26-06-2000).]

LoLth

an interesting little link

http://www.pvv.ntnu.no/~eddie/drquinch/