Best quote from anything

Bounty Hunter

what is your favourite quote from anything or anywhere at all and before anybody says it
"luke i am your father" is not allowed.
homer simpson must have some good ones of his own now that i think of it.

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"Once they've marked you!" starke said "the world is made of glass"

Kali

"smoke me a kipper i'll be back for breakfast"

or

"you don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em"

Dont be at yourself

Anything from Jack Handy.

He was a comedian and did a sketch on Saturday night Live which was just him saying these things he made up. Example:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn't get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.</font>

I'd have loved to see these sketches, but I've only read them on the internet (do a search for Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts). He was probably one of the funniest guys thatsever lived

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here, here and here.

Bard

hee hee hee... nice one NudeyBibleDude

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Bard

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"Henry! The cat wants to go out!" ... "Oh dear, Min! Is he on fire, again?"

azezil

comic book guy having a heart attack:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">...pain in chest ... left arm going numb ... can't continue describeing symtoms </font>

he then falls over. hee hee

oh and my own quote

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2"> just because you're not paronid, doesn't mean they're not after you! </font>

can't remember where i got that!!!

[This message has been edited by azezil (edited 08-06-2001).]

smoke.me.a.kipper

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kali:
"smoke me a kipper i'll be back for breakfast"</font>

and also from Red Dwarf...

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">stoke me a clipper, i'll be back for christmas</font>

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Rimmer: step up to red alert.
Kryten: are you absolutly sure sir, that would mean changing the bulb!</font>

[This message has been edited by smoke-me-a-kipper (edited 08-06-2001).]

Shiminay

azezil

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">just because you're not paronid, doesn't mean they're not after you! </font>

If I said (well, screamed - as I do on a semi-regular basis) the words:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Gotta find a way to find a way when I'm there
Gotta find a way, a better way, I'd better wait</font>

you should get it

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All the best!
Dav
@B^)
So Bob Hoskins was about to roll a spliff when in walks Dana with her 3 foot Bong
[honey i] violated [the kids]
Tribes 2 Goodness
The Dawn of the Beefy King approaches...

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by smoke-me-a-kipper:
Rimmer: step up to red alert.
Kryten: are you absolutly sure sir, that would mean changing the bulb!
</font>

Yep... class... another Dwarf quote:

Cat: Forget RED alert, lets go all the way up to brown alert!
Kryten: But... there's ... no such thing as brown alert, sir!
Cat (shifting about in seat uncomfortably): You won't be saying that in a minute!!!

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Bard

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"Have a gorilla!" ... "No thanks, I'll have one of my monkeys, they're milder."

azezil

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kharn:
azezil If I said (well, screamed - as I do on a semi-regular basis) the words:

Gotta find a way to find a way when I'm there
Gotta find a way, a better way, I'd better wait</font>

you should get it

nope, now i'm even more confused LOL

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"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

smoke.me.a.kipper

ANOTHER from red dwarf...

Cat: I'm so excited, all six of my nipples are tingling.

Jim Daniels

Steven Wright is always pretty reliable

http://members.aol.com/tokalikads/StevenWrightQuotes.html

Zapper

TBH i think every1 could pick about 20 or so quotes which they thought were fantastic...so here's a couple of mine

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2"> I never forget a face, but in your case i'll make an exception...</font>

Spoken by Grouch Marx. I could pop quite a few Marx Bros quotes down here, but i'd just bore ye all

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Yeah, i could have stayed, i could have been King. But in my own way, i am King...
Hail to the King Baby

Hecate

guys playing poker in Risky Business:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
You know what I think you did?, you ran straight home and whacked off.

Did you have your bike?

Uh..yeah.

No here's what I think you did; I think you jumped on your bike, pedalled home and whacked off!

</font>

mewso

"I have come to kick ass and chew bubble-gum and I'm aaaallll outta bubble-gum"

You should know what thats from.

Mikill

Homer : And I'm Not Easily Impressed.
Homer : WOW !!. A BLUE CAR !!

This is from the episode where Mr.Burns Finds/captures Nessie.

Bard

"Bananas -... in pyjamas / are coming down the stairs / Bananas -... in pyjamas / are chasing teddy bears"

...

tch...

...

Australians

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Bard

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"Have a gorilla!" ... "No thanks, I'll have one of my monkeys, they're milder."

ObeyGiant

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">posted by musician:
"I have come to kick ass and chew bubble-gum and I'm aaaallll outta bubble-gum"
You should know what thats from.
</font>

They live? The greatest part of that film is seeing Al Leong (the little crazy chinese guy who is in just about everything AS "little crazy chinese guy") for a split-second as he runs out of a building, it absolutely made the movie for me.

Bard

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by azezil:
just because you're not paronid, doesn't mean they're not after you!

...

can't remember where i got that!!!
</font>

It's a line from Nirvana's wonderfully calming, soothing and melodic tune (???!) "Territorial P|ssings" on the Nevermind album.

"Just because you're paranoid/... don't mean they're not after you/..."

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Bard

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Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Oh yeah

Why's nobody mentioned Winston Churchil:


Lady Astor (it seems): Winston, I do believe you're drunk.

Churchill: Yes, my dear, but you're ugly. And in the morning, I'll be sober.


And a personal favourite of mine (from a dodgy programming joke...): "let's put it back on toppa the hill and see if it crashes again".


One more...

"The man had a point. As a matter of fact, he had a whole sword." Or something similar, from Jingo by Terry Pratchett..

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Life is like a pyrotechnics display. You've got to stand back and let it happen, othwerwise you're are sincerely bollocked....

thegreensock.com

Can you feel the love?

Manach

"You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause" - Chico Marx, A night at the Opera

Kali

"theres not a day goes by that I hear about some accident involving a kid and an escalator that could have been avoided had some parent, i dont care which one, conditioned their child to fear and respect that elevator"

BlitzKrieg

hmmmm..... let me think


anything from billy connoly

uhmm...

i know Serious Sam

"Kamikase: AHHHHHHHHHH
(two shots from my akimbo)
SAM: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
(10 more appear from over the hill)
All of them: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SAM: OH ****"


Strangly no one ever mentions Indiana Jones espeicilly the sean connery harrison ford duo (classic)

strange though cant think of any, everything feels so good i'll end up writing all 3 films

ThunderingMike

Groucho: Do you follow me?
Lady: Yes, I believe so.
Groucho: Well stop following me or I'll have you arrested!

Red from Shawshank: "The collosal ***** almost managed to sound magnanamous."

^I love that line^

"I KICK **** FOR THE LORD!"

^Braindead

"In 1969, I gave up drugs, booze and women. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life."
-George Best

"I smile at all the girls. If they are pretty it pleases me. If they are not, it pleases them."
-Cavalier

"I like the odd drink. 7, 9 11..."

and

"You know your drunk when you cant lie on the floor without holding on."

- Oscar Wilde

But the best of all, obviously, is my sig

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ThunderingMike Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pitch and moment, With this regard their current turns away, And lose the name of action... Nows that's a sig.

GreenHell

Usual Suspects

Gimme the mother****ing keys **** sucker

Pulp Fiction

Bring out the gimp

Croc Dunndee (spelling?)

You call that a knife

umm

Mall Rats - hmm generally anything

Empire Records - I'm guided by a force more powerfull than luck

Winning Hand

"Hand me the keys you ****ing ****sucker"


"Theres a white guy outside."
"Seen one"
"Not like this"

[edit] Missed greenhill above :embarassed:[/edit]


[This message has been edited by Winning Hand (edited 26-06-2001).]

anichon

best quote of all time is from winston churchill

after a woman came up to him and gave out about him being hammered, he said
"Madam, In the morning I will be sober.But you will still be ugly".

bonkey

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bard:
It's a line from Nirvana's wonderfully calming, soothing and melodic tune (???!) "Territorial P|ssings" on the Nevermind album.

"Just because you're paranoid/... don't mean they're not after you/..."

</font>

Given that I heard that quote long before Nirvana ever existed, I very much doubt thars where it came from. This does not, however, preclude the possibility that its where you first heard it.

One of my favourite quotes is froma plaque on a wall in a bar in Dublin...which I'm sure is not the original source

"Vidi, Vici, Veni".

Laugh, I nearly cried

Now - name the pub......
bonkey

Dont be at yourself

Another Churchill one:

Woman: "If you were my husband, I would poison your drink"
Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it"

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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Karl Hungus

"You'll never catch me running away, I'm too fast!"

Bloody Drunkard

"A man could build a thousand bridges and suck one ****. To the world he is not a bridgebuilder but a **** sucker"

Woody Harelson
PLAY IT TO THE BONE

LegacyUser

U Think ur big time ur going to die big time .. I forget what that is out of somthin to do with Scarface..

r Bad-Boys U better sit ur lanky ass down before I KNOCK U THE FÙCK OUT

Repli

The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of some place to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people.
-Robert De Niro (Taxi Driver)

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What is now was once only imagined.

Evil Phil

"I bought a decaffeinated coffee table" ~ Steven Wright

And this one just because it's so bad, I think it's from Hard to Kill, but it's one of Steven Segal's movies

Evil Mayor: "... and you can take that to the bank"
SS thru gritted teeth: "I'll take you to the bank, the blood bank!"

lynski

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">


One of my favourite quotes is froma plaque on a wall in a bar in Dublin...which I'm sure is not the original source

"Vidi, Vici, Veni".
</font>

O'Reilly's Tara Street, over the fireplace.
My IRC sig for a long time.

_CreeD_

3 I kinda liked:

"God was showing off when he made you"
Ben Stiller in Keeping the faith.

"Half empty? Half full?...Either way it's still just waiting to be poured"
Rachel Chambers.

"Drink may not be the answer but it can sure as hell make you forget the question for a while"

Trojan

Another nice Pratchett one is "There was light at the end of the tunnel, but it was an oncoming train".

Al.

Trojan

Hah, just remembered a good one from Sat.

Stuart Barnes is an awful muppet, but sometimes he gets it right:

"O'Driscoll, they call him God, but I think he's a better player than that!"

Personally I don't think God would play second centre, much more likely in the thick of the engine room: the front row

Al.

black_wizardd

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's "Good Omens"

Newton Pulsifer is talking about the Queen to Sgt. Shadwell (Witch finder Sergant) in the middle of a job interview (over the phone) to become a Witch finder when Sgt. Shadwell, an old English country man, interupts...

Shadwell: "How many nipples ?"

Newton: "Pardon!!!"

Shadwell: "Nipples laddie nipples, how many nipples h'ar ye ?"

Newton: "Two I hope"

I almost exploded laughing at that.

And my siggy of course:

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But oh, no tears please, fear and pain may acompany death, but it is desire that sheperds its certainty, as we shall see...

[This message has been edited by black_wizardd (edited 02-07-2001).]

Victor

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by lynski re "Veni, Vidi, Vici ": O'Reilly's Tara Street, over the fireplace. My IRC sig for a long time.</font>

Veni, Vidi, Vici translates into; I came, I saw, I conquered Ceasar's message to the senate when he conquered Pharnaces, King of Pontus.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Zee Dude

'Possible penetration point in the shower room Sir'

from The Rock.

Zee Dude

'Oops' after they blew up the building in Lethal Weapon 3

mrblue

The bit in LA confidential when Dudley shoots Jack. Jack's final words, after a mocking laugh:

'Rolo Tonasi'

Classic

p.s. I am not a sad a_r_s_e_h_o_l_e so I don't know the correct spelling of this name. I'm, sure someone can correct me.

Scorpion

cough

[This message has been edited by Scorpion (edited 07-07-2001).]

sutty

Ok, I just had to put this in:

Evil Ash: Your goodie two shoes!!!

*Click*

*BOOM*

Good Ash: Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun!

Quote takin from the Army of Darkness.

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Ciaran Sutcliffe
aka: sutty
[HIV]sutty
For a good time goto:
http://www.hotinternetvirgins.com

bonkey

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Victor:
Veni, Vidi, Vici translates into; I came, I saw, I conquered Ceasar's message to the senate when he conquered Pharnaces, King of Pontus.
</font>

Very good. But that is neither what I posted, nor what lynski replied to.

The quote was "Vidi, Vici, Veni". Rearrange your translation accordingly

jc

GreenHell

TP -Small Gods

"Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world.
It's unreliable levers that are the problem"


Oh brother where art thou

"We're in a tight spot"

randys pal

"I'll get you next time gadget."

from the cartoon inspector gadget,

classic.

h

Conorisco

Shows like dark angel and The X Files and games like Dues EX are goldmines for quotes

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"I can't speak for command, but I'm gonna clean the place out" - Jc Denton, Deus EX

Conorisco

below

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"I can't speak for command, but I'm gonna clean the place out" - Jc Denton, Deus EX

CriminallyInsane

Heres a good red Dwarf one

Rimmer(Account of Rimmerworld):....Of course there were moral implications - thecnically, she would be my sister, but I thought "what the hell" I just wouldnt tell her.

And Heres one from Army Of Darkness (Evil Dead 3)

Maiden:but what about all those kind words you spoke to me in bed.
Ash:See...thats just pilow talk, baby.

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How Do You Prove You Exist? What If We Don't Exist? - Vivi Ornitier, Final Fantasy IX

TacT

Army of Darkness.

"Listen up you primitive ****s, This is mah, BOOMSTICK.!"