If you have a feeling your partner does not love you anymore what should you do?

noddysfringe

I have this little problem, but am afraid to ask her directly in case I get an answer that I don't like!! Should I cut my loses and save myself the hurt in the future by splitting with her, or just ride it out with a constant fear that it's gonna end sooner or later?

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Everything you know is wrong!!

Kairo

Well, I'm no expert on the matter but I'd say to just ride it out. You never know...you might be wrong.

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Life sucks, but does it swallow?

phobos

I don't think any solid relationship should end too abruptly if both partners are being completely honest with eachother!.

The things I don't know that are factors you should consider, are things like: how long you have being going out with your partner etc.

If the relationship is true, and established beyond that of a sexual one, I recommend you sit down and talk things out with your partner. You should be able to sit down and say something like, how you feel nervous about the existing relationship and it's future. Say something like "Am I just being paranoid about the whole thing?". Remind her that you are only asking because you love her so much.

If she gives you this "Answer" that you don't like or gets all fidgety, then something is up. I wouldn't bother with someone that is messing around behind my back. But even if you are just being paranoid, and she is a dedicated partner, she will reassure you, and hopefully this will enable ease in future communications.

Take care,

;-phobos-)

Bard

Don't put yourself through the unsure-ness any further. To hell with your fears, - face up to your fears and talk to her about it. There are a number of reasons why she might be coming across that way, - being stand-offish, non-committal, whatever... it might not necessarily mean that she doesn't love you, and you'll gain nothing by walking away without knowing for sure. It's very easy to get the wrong end of the stick, to mis-interpret people's intentions or feelings - the only way to know for sure is ASK ... and when you do, watch how she answers.

If you trust her, ask her. If you don't trust her, then it's you who don't love her, as trust is an inherent part of any solid relationship.

Anyway... that's just my 2 cents... you don't have to follow it word for word and blame me when you fluck up, you know

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Bard

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'First motorbike in the bible ???? ---- a Triumph --- 'Yea verily Moses struck down the ammmanites and all the land heard the roar of his triumph !!!'

Lemming

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Bard:
If you trust her, ask her. If you don't trust her, then it's you who don't love her, as trust is an inherent part of any solid relationship.
</font>

Beautifully put Bard!!!

Seriously though, no sense in sticking your head in the sand and hoping that nothings wrong/walking away.

What are you gonna do? wrap yourself up in cotton wool the rest of your life?? Nuts to that say I!!

If you talk to her about it, at least you'll know where you stand. And that is the first step (well .. maybe not the first, but near enough! )to building on the relationship/moving on with your life.

Bard

Makes for an interesting discussion thread too, so it does

If she takes offence at the query (as long as you put the question right, and approach the discussion in a good way of course), then perhaps you'd be right to call it a day anyway - a couple in a solid relationship should be capable of talking about that relationship and how they're getting on in it, etc. - they should be well capable of talking about issues such as whether they truly love and care for each other...

(don't mind me if I'm talking complete b0llocks btw... 3 pints down me neck already...)

chernobyl

Ofcourse ask how she feels, man how uncomfortable a situation to be in, and worse if you are living together.
This is not cut your losses, but find out where you stand, but the fact that you even ask the question...man you know the answer already.

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Ashley...if only

Ashley Lyn Cafagna

Wolf

2 be honest m8 u shouldnt ask the advice of ppl on boards should u realy?? anyway u should ask her and see what the response is real love doesnt take much work it very sure, clear and consice in my experience if u have dout then there probably isnt realy much hope anyway but dont rush in it all down to u at the end of the day

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Me that is me and me that is I thats not u but me which means I and me alone which is him kinda cuz its my realy from ur point of veiw ie me!!!

entropi

wolf, this is actually a good place to ask coz a whole load of people here are not muppets and would genuinely help him, take bard for example, he always has a helping hand if you need it and i've seen him do this for a while now My view of the matter is that he should really have a deep, long chat with the mot and tell her why you feel like this and how she feels etc. etc.


Wish you luck with your problem and hope it's sorted soon.

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That island has freedom written all over it" Sir, that's Cuba. [url="HTTP://WWW.thesimpsons.com"]look at that smithers!![/url]

Wolf

Look when i said that i didnt mean any offence it just i believe that u should be able 2 know about these things ur self and not ask any1 but ur closest friends and family. It not that i dont believe the advice is good i jusr believe if u have a doubt the realy there no doubt. Soz just my opinion did mean anything by it

WhiteWashMan

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by [-UK-]Wolf:
Look when i said that i didnt mean any offence it just i believe that u should be able 2 know about these things ur self and not ask any1 but ur closest friends and family. It not that i dont believe the advice is good i jusr believe if u have a doubt the realy there no doubt. Soz just my opinion did mean anything by it </font>

i can see youve never been in a relationship before...
anyway.
the most important thing in a relationship is communication.
the second most important thing in a relationship is communication.
its also the third.
are you getting a message.

one important thing is to not confuse what was said with what ou heard. anything you think may be completely wrong for many different reasons.
you may think she doesnt love you becuase of a, b and c.
she may just not be paying you a lot of attention lately because she has her own worries, and its getting to you because your high maintenance (well, you might be!)
talk to her, find out what is wrong, and find out how you can help her to help you.

and to think i used to pay 40 quid and hour to expert advice like that....

elexes

ok im lazy saw 2 mutch righting but this is what ive seen from personal exp
there is a couple of things that could be wrong

she thinks uve cheated/ing on her

shes cheating on you

shes got a problom but cant tell you yet

shes pregnant( think i spelt it wrong )

shes moody

and the list goes on and on

but reely id say stay with her if she keeps it up sit her down and ask her somthn like " for the last while u havent been urself is there somthn wrong "

she might say its u she might say its just work she might say its the current blight going on at the 4th moon of endor and she feels bad about it and wants a way to help

in the short id say stick it out

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what type of world will we live in when there is no world ?

[This message has been edited by elexes (edited 10-08-2001).]

orangerooster

i think you should confront her i know its hard if you love her to ask her the same and if you do get youre heart broken. I know it wont be easy but just very slowly and at youre own pace pick youreself slowley.Dont listen to what anyone says about theres plenty more fish in the sea at least not immediatley after.But if she didnt love you she probably would have left by know when you do confront her there will be an arguement so if she says "of course i do how could you even think that" just let it run itself out and shell realise she loves you and then will come back.Good luck and dont worry about it if she says no just let all youre feelings out and then just get back to youre life and let it go just dont wait and put yourself trough hell and remeber its youre desision and dont rush yourself and dont feel under presure again good luck.

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dont open ... that door- resident evil 1

LegacyUser

Well The best thing I can say m8 is go with what your heart tells you and try not to follow your mind as such I no a lot of people will say wtf U on about.

You really have to think how U feel about the girl like have U stepped back and said yeah this is the one I see myself with for the rest of my life. If that is the case then just ride it through as U say.

Maybe U could just sit her down and say U would like to talk to her and say "listen U may like this U may not but I need to talk to U about a few things cause they have been on my mind for the last while and if she is respects U so much and she wants U then she sound listen to U and take in what U said.

At the end of the day people will give U advise but U should just follow what U have inside. Tell us how things worked out any way.

Dont bother with the sun problem pages just come to boards.ie We will look after yeah

All the best

Crash0r

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Are you a Player of Games?

[This message has been edited by Crash&Burn (edited 18-08-2001).]