Horoscopes(funny!)

cajun_tiger · 22-10-2004 11:15am #1

AQUARIUS You have an inventive mind and are a progressive thinker.
You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless and impractical,
making the same mistakes over and over. Everyone thinks you are a
****ing jerk.

PISCES You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being
followed by the CIA. You have some influence over your friends and
people resent you for flaunting your power. Underneath it all you lack
confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small

animals and pick their noses a lot.

ARIES You are the pioneer type and have strong leadership
tendencies, but you regard others with contempt. You are quick
tempered, impatient and don't take well to advice. You are a prick.

TAURUS You are down to earth and persistent. You are determined and
can work like hell. Most people think that you are a pig headed ****.
You're probably a ****ing communist.

GEMINI You are quick and intelligent - a thinker. People like you

because you are bisexual, You are also a cheap bastard, expecting
everything for nothing. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER You are extremely sensitive by nature and very caring. You are
a wimp, You are hopeless at making decisions and that is why you will
always be on welfare and you will never be worth a ****.

LEO Leo people are born leaders but most people think they are
just pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. They are thick arseholes who break

down under honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo People
are thieving bastards who kiss mirrors a lot.

VIRGO You are the logical type and detest disorder. This ****picking
makes your friends sick. You are cold and unemotional and often fall
asleep while screwing. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA Librans are lucky in employment and financial matters. You are
the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are

male then you are probably queer. Most Libran woman are whores. All
Librans die of V. D.

SCORPIO You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will
reach the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics.
You are a perfect Son of a Bitch. Most Scorpio people are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS You are optimistic and enthusiastic with a reckless
tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. Most Saggitarians
are drunks or pot heads. People laugh at you a lot because you are

always ****ing things up.

CAPRICORN you are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are
basic chicken ****. There has never been a Capricorn of any
importance, you should kill yourself.

Tyrrial · 22-10-2004 2:37pm

very good and quite accurate.... the maybe not the last 2 lines

Spalk0 · 22-10-2004 2:42pm

Im a F**king jerk am i?.....yeah id say its accurate enough!

fizzynicenice · 22-10-2004 5:38pm

Hey Buddy!!! I only ever fell asleep during sex three times!!
hehe:)

stagolee · 22-10-2004 5:50pm

well im not queer and i dunno how the hell im gonna die of v.d. cos i havent had a shag in bloody ages... hey maybe this means you CAN catch it off toilet seats :eek: