bob geldof Tv program about fathers

tomsie100

The program was on channel 4 at 9:00.
Very good program but it has got me worried.
Does Ireland have the same criminal court system that is so against men.

Anybody who watched it would agree it's a important disssusion.
Has got me really worried and the one tip i learned is dont leave the family house when your family breaks up you lose a lot of your parental rights.

I was wondering did anyone on boards get divoced and have problems with parental rights i am interested in hearing your story.

And i dont want this thread to be extreme anti women thread

seamus

tomsie100 wrote:

Has got me really worried and the one tip i learned is dont leave the family house when your family breaks up you lose a lot of your parental rights.

In Ireland afaik, you have no choice. If a couple breaks up, and children are involved, the woman automatically takes custody of the children and the house along with them. The man will also have to keep paying maintenance, which could include the mortagage, and still have no right to see his kids. I could be wrong.

It's something that I'm very interested in reading up on (just haven't got the time yet), as apparently fathers get feck all when a relationship breaks up.

OfflerCrocGod

That leaves the average Irish guy with two options
a) Don't marry
b) Marry a man

tomsie100

Dont want to seem gready but some day i will inherit some farm land.
I have worked hard on the farm in all my youth and will in one day hopefull
pass it on to my son for him to manage.

What do i do to make sure in the future that i dont lose most on my land if in a relationship and if in a few years i build a house on the land that i lose that.

I have heard rumoured that pre nuptials are a waste of paper when it comes to divorse is this true.

And in the future if i had children i would like acces to the children at least 35% of the week. May sound silly but if there was something you could do now before you realised in a few years latter you lost everthing import to you.

seamus

If you build a house on the land, write down the remainder of the land as an asset of a small business. That means that you'll have to start organising tax returns and all sorts of other crap, but if you're a farmer you'll have to anyway.

I'm no legal guy or accountant, but this could protect the land from being possessed with the house.

The only thing is that I think the mother only gets the house and a certain portion of land. Certainly a friend of mine's parents had a very bad break up - she lives in the house with her kids, and they're surrounded by 14 acres of prime land in south Dublin, all of it belonging to her ex-husband.

It's something that you should talk to a solicitor about, if it worries you. Pre-nups are indeed a waste of paper in this country.

mike65

I'm no lawyer but maybe the bet way to protect an asset is using a trust to own the land. Of course I'm proberly wrong but thats why solicitors are rich!

Mike.

tomsie100

Thanks for the reply will have to remember to talk to a lawyer about the best way keep land and house in case of a divorse. I remember talking to my brother about 6 months ago and i was saying i would have a pre nup or try to protect the land because i have being working on it for the last 26 years.

He would have none of it, He said if i get married i dont think it would ever fail even when i was saying mabeye 1 in 3 marriages fail and you would lose half your land and house and alot of marraiges can fail after a few years.

Thanks for help with the financial side. Also i would not move out of the house fully if we seperated because i would lose alot of rights to my children.

anyone gone throught a divorse and would give advise to what he would do if he could do it all again would be welcome.

Sleepy

Tomsie100. You could always put the farm and house into trust for any children in the event of their birth. I know Ryanair was held in this way. That way, if the land is all held in this trust, with you as the manager of this trust, your prospective wife would have no claim on the land.

I think. As a solicitor about the details but to the best of my knowledge this is a perfectly legal maneouver.

And yes, our court system is just as bad. I was watching the program with a flatmate of mine who was luckily in the minority of cases where he has stayover access to his son. He was only able to get this because the child's mother was stupid enough to lose her temper in court.

Sleipnir

yeah the system here is just as antiquated as in the U.K.

little known fact over here (until an actual breakup occurs) is that if you have a child and are not married, the mother is a legal guardian, but the father is not.

climaxer

Check this link:

http://www.dads-house.com

Also I'm a single parent and agree that when it comes to the Dads who care they don't have the law on their side. The system should be based on the parents regardless of their sex. The Mother should not automatically get custody. The maintenance and access should be done privately if possible by the parents and if not the courst should assess each case fairly.

My uncle got full custody of his three kids around 15 years ago when he separated from his wife and she wanted to bring them to Spain to live. He had a very very tough time at the courts which is why I try my best to see it from the Dad's side.

As for leaving your land to your kids - could you not make a will?

climaxer

tomsie100 wrote:

And i dont want this thread to be extreme anti women thread

Thats the problem though there is a bunch of single Mothers who are against the Fathers no matter what and vice versa. If separated/single parents fight together and not at each other and think about the children first it would be much easier to change the law but if we have the anti-women men wanting it all their way and the mothers wanting all their way it will keep getting worse.