I've been cheated on and took her/him back?

Shad0r

Another thread on PI sparked this curiousity.

The polls question is aimed to find out if you've been cheated on whether or not you took the person back/forgave them for what they did?

Please dont partake in the poll if you only have an opinion as to whether or not you would take your other half back. Feel free to post that info in here but PLEASE ONLY VOTE IF YOU HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN CHEATED ON.

For example, I have been cheated on and I took her back (admitedly only for a short while though). I know if I was in a similar situation again there is no way I would repeat what to my mind was a mistake. However that doesnt matter.

My vote in the poll is true.

Who cares about what might be, I'm interested in what has been.

king_of_inismac

Ok, this is an interesting topic, and before I give my opinion, i should better say that I've never been cheated on, so in my case, its just speculation...

My opinion would be this:
you can't make black and white decisions on relationships.
It depends on the people involved and the circumstances of the cheating (continuous or a one time mistake)

The line "One a cheater, always a cheater" comes to mind, but I have a belief that you can't generalise people like that, and that people can change...

In summation, I'd say that every situation is different, and every individual must make up their own mind, based on the circumstances.

Sure, sometimes you'll lose and get burn't, but better to have loved and lost....

Martin.

chump

You should add 2 choices for if you havent been cheated on but what you THINK you might do if you were... it would stop people being tempted to vote (on the above) even if they haven't experienced either of the above...

gimmick

My ex did the dirt on me. Found out after we broke up. It took me all i could do not to spit in the bitches face. Instead i just ruined her self confidence by telling her she wasted her virginity on me, and that she was useless anyway. Thing was, i would have taken her back for a long time after, but thankfully it never happened. I am now in a happier relationship than what i was ever in.

On topic, IMO, once a trust has been broken, its gone forever. No mitigating circumstances can excuse it. Never..ever. It only leaves you wide open to be hurt again.

Shad0r

chump wrote:

You should add 2 choices for if you havent been cheated on but what you THINK you might do if you were... it would stop people being tempted to vote (on the above) even if they haven't experienced either of the above...

You are correct, I should have. Unfortunately you cant edit polls once they;ve been posted....

Gordon

... yeah, you're right there Shador

MidnightQueen

I was going out with a guy last year for 2 months and i found out from a friend that he was cheating on me! :mad: I was really pissed off!! I had a huge argument with him over the fone and i met him a week later after i found out and had another huge argument. We didnt talk for months after that! When i do see him, i dont talk to him. I still havent forgiven him because i find it very hard to do so!! I know for sure i wouldnt take him back!

meepmeep

I was seeing a guy for a few months a few years back and i found out that my "best friend" had given him a blow job in the nightclub toilet (classy) one night when i was too ill to go out.

That was the end of that. It wasn't serious enough for me to be heart broken or anything but I wouldn't be with someone who cheated. no way.

miniperson

No way. That truely is awful.

And your "Best Friend"? What happened there?

meepmeep

Well we're not friends anymore!

You're supposed to be able to trust your closest friends and i figured if she could do that then she wasn't trustworthy, and I would have to be careful when introducing her to new boyfriends, so I just kinda stopped hangin out with her.

I was more upset that my friend could do that to me, than the guy i was seeing. But shes a slapper, and i'm not so i win

Doodee

No, Once the trust factor is broken then the relationship is doomed to failure. Its horrible having those little seeds of doubt in your mind, especially when circumstances cause you to have to think about it. It makes you feel miserable and sad. And then when you see the person you often aren't yourself with them.

I guess it could be done in certain situations, but your talking about finding someone you can't live without. But then again, its hard to jump the hurdle if its not before you.

ravenhead

I've been on both sides of this, I've been cheated on by a b/f that I was with for 4 years & after I took him back i then cheated on him, not a revenge thing - it just kind of happened. Neither side is very nice to be on to tell to the truth, when you've been cheated on you feel like crap & when you cheat you feel like crap , well I did, not with the guy that had cheated on me but someone else.

I would really have to think about what actually happened, I mean if my b/f slept with someone else - no way, never, I couldn't take him back, same way with oral sex, - Something like that is far too big of a betrayel..

FX Meister

i wouldn't take them back. That said I cheated on my ex, I guess the way I see it was the relationship wasn't going very well and it was my way of dealing with it. Not excusing it though. She didn't find out and as far as I know still hasn't but it doesn't bother me now. My current girlfriend I wouldn't dream of cheating on because of how good our relationship is.

BEAT

I was cheated on and it hurt. I didnt take him back, I would be a fool to do that.
on the flip side,
I slept with a married man, ...I didnt know he was married though until after. (cheaters are liars afterall)

I wouldnt sleep with a married man or a guy who had a girlfriend normally because I know how it feels to be cheated on, and I would never cheat. If my relationship got to a point where someone else was looking better, then my relationship is over and I would end it before I lowered myself to cheating.

I dont think its a good idea to take someone back once they have cheated...it would be more healthy for each of them to move on.
And thats all I have to say about that

RossFixxxed

I did indeed. Stupid decision. Once they do it once, it just gets easier and easier. There's a nice kurb over here let me get my shoes on.

Ross

miniperson

If someone takes their partner back, after the partner cheating, does it give them a licence to cheat again?

"oh you cheated but I still love you"

Do cheaters ever learn a lesson?

From personal experience, I cheated on my bf of 2 years when I was 20. What can I say. Biggest mistake in my life and to this day I still haven't forgiven myself. I dont think I will either. I just live with what I did and feel embarassed when I think of what an idiot I was.

I learned a serious lesson there. Many years on, even through difficult times in other relationships, I have never cheated again. The chances have been there but something just kicks in even if I think about it.

loz_the_boz

There is a difference between love and sex you know ! and a relationship can be healthy even if one wants to, how to say

' have a bit oif strange '

every now and again !

RossFixxxed

Nothin says love like ridin some random one. The look of love on everyone's face.. I'm welling up. It's so beautiful. Love, respect... love, respect.. hmm
R

LegacyUser

My boyfriend of four years cheated on me. I didn't know he was cheating on me but he was distant and cool.

Once it was over, he admitted it and just expected it to be swept under the carpet. His conscience allieviated, he adopted a polict of 'well you should be grateful, sure I picked you'.

Idiot that I was, I kind of accepted this for a while but I began to get more and more resentful and angry about the way he had treated me, lied to me, and then didn't feel any remorse. So we split up.

Even now he thinks I overreacted - but all I have to think about is me at home with his dinner ready for him, ringing me, and he deciding not to take my call because he's with someone else.

I really hope it was worth it for him because I did love him and it could've been a forever thing. But I couldn't marry someone who treated me as a fool. and seemed to enjoy me worrying. That was the big thing. not necessarily the cheating.