Day 7 since egg extraction

LegacyUser

It's seven days since they extracted 14 eggs from my wife at the IVF unit. Nine took fertilisation from my sperm, the other five just didn't take. Out of the Nine, Six developed. One of the six stopped growing - it just stopped after splitting into 4 cells. That left five who continued to grow into multiple cells zygotes.
On Thursday, two zygotes have been put back into my wife. The other three have been frozen.
Now we're just waiting. Day 7 is the day at zygotes attach to the wall of womb. We're hoping that this will happen, my wife will become pregnant and this nightmare will be over.

Beruthiel

best of luck azoo
I hope it works out well for you both
a

koneko

Good luck and I hope everything goes well for you!

Azoo

Thanks for your wishes. I've gone and got myself registered on Boards.ie so I can get my stuff written down.
Forgive me for posting this here. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I just need an outlet.
Thanks again,
Azoo

koneko

Understandbly so, it must be a tough time for you. I'm sure whatever you post up will be of use to someone that's in a similar situation aswell.

Beruthiel

Azoo wrote:

Forgive me for posting this here. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I just need an outlet.
Thanks again,
Azoo

that's what this forum is for
feel free to post on this whenever you wish,
I expect the next few days will be very tough on you
hang in there
a

Velvet Vocals

fingers crossed for you both!! please let us know how you get on....hopfully there'll be some boards babies on the way pretty soon!!

AngryBadger

Best of luck to the whole family

Azoo

Hopefully, yes. Hopefully it will work this time. It didn’t the first two times, but we’re hoping that it will be third time lucky.
It’s getting harder and harder to keep hoping. We thought the first time we went through the IVF cycle that it would work. We got 5 zygotes that time as well. The two healthiest of the five were put back into C, my wife. Leaving the clinic that day we were hopeful, spilling over in fact. We thought this was IT. We were sure.
The signs were all good. C’s period didn’t come for two weeks. She was cranky, and mood swings like you wouldn’t believe. She was a right royal pain in the arse.
She went back to the clinic two weeks after implantation fully sure that she would be getting a positive result from the blood test. She went in there smiling. This was going to be the happiest day in all her life. She was going to be a mother.
But the result didn’t come back positive. It was a negative. It was one of the sunniest and warmest days of the year, but at that moment it turned into one of the darkest, and saddest.
We cried a lot that night. Nearly all our hope was gone. And the sense of loss was bigger than I expected. We saw the two zygotes on the TV screen before they were put back into C. They were our two little creations. Our two little six celled babies. We even named them. But they’re gone. Dead as they didn’t attach. Both of my parents are dead now and I feel their loss. This loss I fell over those first two is almost double.
On the second go, two of the three zygotes thawed. One didn’t survive. And two weeks after implantation, C did a pregnancy test and it was again negative.
We’re trying to be hopeful again with this go. There are two more zygotes in C, unnamed. There are three more in the freezer at the clinic. If it doesn’t work this time there will always the next. After that there will be no more hoping. Seven years of hoping will sadly finish, but we’re hoping for a happy finish.

Optikus

Best otf luck to ya azoo!

LegacyUser

Dont give up man!

Pataman

Puts all my problems into perspective!

Best of luck, keep the chin up.

Victor

Not trying to spook you, but what are the genetic risks involved? Presumably there is a very real reason your wife can't conceive.

My ex-boss and his wife had IVF and now have 3 kids (not sure how many were IVF).

Azoo

Not spooked at all. IVF or test tube babies have been going on for nearly 30 years, and as for the genetic issues they're are no more than average. In some situation the risks are less through IVF, but I'm lets not discuss this now.

I should have cleared this up at the start. The reason why we can't have kids normally is down to me I'm afraid. Low sperm count, very low. It makes me laugh sometimes but in one sample they found 7 healthy sperm. Seven, when there should be a couple of million. Kind of a hard hit to take for a manly man like myself. Sometimes they find no sperm in samples I give in. Zero. This condition is called azoospermia, hence the my name.

The first IVF clinic we went to said that they wouldn't take us on. They wouldn't put my wife through an IVF cycle with such a low sperm count as there was no guarantee that they'd get fertilisation and thus waste the eggs. They sent us a away, and forwarded us to a donor sperm clinic.
I was devastated by this. The dream of having 'my' own kids really over so it seemed. I couldn't have my own kids but it shouldn't stop me from becoming a father. We decided to go on and try the donor sperm.
At the donor sperm clinic that try and match you up as best they can. Eye, hair and skin colour, the lot. And so we proceeded, well C did. I had really nothing to do, just cheer from the sidelines. Again our hopes when up, but after a number of failed attempts these dreams started to fall back to Earth. We had 14 attempts, and nothing. It's seemed like another cul-de-sac.
We then decided to go back to IVF, but the first clinic was out as they didn't have a donor sperm facility. So we went to another. Our current clinic does, which was great. And to my surprise they asked for a sperm sample at our first interview. I said what and why? They said they wanted to see how bad I really was. Which was fine. I've become quite handy at giving samples at these clinics, and it doesn't bother me at all. And I'm fast too . Later on they rang us and said that they had frozen some sperm. This took me by surprise and I almost didn't believe what I was hearing. They were going to attempt to use my sperm. I was over the moon. Delighted and excited. A door which I thought was closed was open again. They were going to use my sperm and have a donor supply as back-up. They collected about 10 samples which took me 5 weeks of visits.
And when the time came it worked. They were able to fertilise my wife's eggs with my sperm to get zygotes/embryos. So woohoo for us.

Next Tuesday is our big day. C's doing a home pregnancy test in the morning before going to the clinic. No sign yet of her period. Though she does have some soreness around the breast which sometimes happens before a period, but it could also be as a side effect of the hormones she's on at the moment. So we don't know. Next Tuesday morning we'll find out for sure.

jinxycat

i wish you the best of luck man and hope it all goes well and wish your wife the best of luck too.

HarryD

Best of luck Azoo.. be sure to let us know how you get on

Lenny

Intresting read I must say, let us know how it gets on

climaxer

Best of Luck to you and your wife Azoo. Really hope you get the baby you deserve. Fingers crossed for you both for next Tuesday. Also if your wife does get a negative result tomorrow don't be too disheartened as you can get a "negative positive" - my friend took a test and it was negative but a week later it was positive. Hope you'll be seeing two blue lines tomorrow.

ravenhead

Best of luck Azoo, make sure to keep in touch & let us know how things are going...

Jim

Bah, these things are always more complicated than they should be.
Good lurk.

narommy

Did anyone see the programme on RTE about IVF.
It's so gut wrenching.

To think that so many babies are aborted when so many couples are childless is sad.

The following nite the topic was men getting the snip. People were having too many babies.

Life ain't fair.

narommy

Best of Luck

Azoo

narommy wrote:

Did anyone see the programme on RTE about IVF.

Yes, we were watching that alright. I suppose if you come up against this for the first time you would be taken aback. And it's quite a natural reaction. Even C's parents don't really know what to say sometimes, but they're very supportive.
For my wife and I watching that programme it was like "yes, done that, and that. Been there, bought the t-shirt". Particularly the childless couples.
We were really glad to see that it worked for one couple, the Dublin one. They did the test at home and they thought it was a negative. But at home we were shouting at the TV, "no, dummy, it's positive". They did the test again and sure enough, it was a positive for sure. This was a couple who had a 9 year old child already, an we thought we'd be happy with just one.
It was also interesting to hear that other couple saying "...why are we working all these hours for? Saving and investing money, but for what? Who are we going to leave it to? ". Snap. We're both working in good jobs, two cars, two pensions, a house that nearly paid for, but for what? Who are we to leave it to? The cats and dogs home? I know we're lucky to have what we got. And I feel guilty moaning about it but, they're just things.

country_gurl

Cant imagine how terrible it is for both of you. Keep trying i know its hard but you'd make brilliant parents by the sound of it. Best of luck and let us know!!!

Azoo

Getting nervous and anxious now. Four mornings to go before the test. No sign of C's period yet. We're hoping it's going to be positive, but we're trying to keep a lid on things and trying not to think about either event.
I know it's kind of silly but I'm hoping that C's period doesn't come before Tuesday morning even if the result of the test is negative. It won't matter either way I know.

Azoo

C's period came yesterday afternoon.
Spots of blood at first then it stopped. She did a test this morning but it failed from some reason. It's one of these high tech pregnancy tests and it came up with an error on the display.
C has had these before. The period would come one day, then stop the next then com on full the next.
Not looking good - 95% sure she's not pregnant.

climaxer

Azoo wrote:

C's period came yesterday afternoon.
Spots of blood at first then it stopped. She did a test this morning but it failed from some reason. It's one of these high tech pregnancy tests and it came up with an error on the display.
C has had these before. The period would come one day, then stop the next then com on full the next.
Not looking good - 95% sure she's not pregnant.

Azoo really sorry to hear that, fingers crossed you might be wrong...

RE*AC*TOR

I know its hard not to get disheartened, in the face of such frustration, but don't give up, this obviously means an awful lot to you....

miniperson

Hi Azoo,

The spotting you are seeing can be put down to implantation bleeding - which, if thats what it is, can be perfectly normal and a sign of pregnancy.

I dont think you should give up just yet.

The first thing to give up would be mother nature and sounds like she hasnt given up just yet either.

Also, there is a good website www.pregnancylounge.com where there are other people going through the same things and might help to vent your stress.

Azoo

miniperson wrote:

Hi Azoo,

The spotting you are seeing can be put down to implantation bleeding - which, if thats what it is, can be perfectly normal and a sign of pregnancy.

I dont think you should give up just yet.

The first thing to give up would be mother nature and sounds like she hasnt given up just yet either.

Also, there is a good website www.pregnancylounge.com where there are other people going through the same things and might help to vent your stress.

Gawd I hope you're right but we seen this before over the last couple of years and the end result has always turned out to be the same. As you can imagine this is stressing C out no end.

And thanks for the link, you're very good.

miniperson

Hi again,

From what you're saying, over 3 days: Day 1: she spots, Day 2: has a day no spotting and Day 3: full period.

She is on Day 2 now.

There is a pregnancy test called "First Response".

Can get them in Boots pharmacy. One of the best. It is extremely sensitive.

Nothing fancy - just a plain test.

miniperson

Forgot to add.

You can use this test up to 5 days before your period is due.

Actually I think it is the only one of its kind on the market (maybe digital tests can too but they are more fancy).

Agent Smith

good luck dude!

i call God Father!

Azoo

agent smith wrote:

good luck dude!

i call God Father!

Thanks Agent, but we've kinda got others in mind for the job. However, if they're not able to make it I know who to call.

You know it's funny talking about Godparents. C and I were chatting, like we always do, about this very subject last weekend before Sunday. It's a subject we've talked about for the last 7 years or so. Like if it's twins we'll have to get such and such as well. We're usually in a happy hopeful mood at these times.
But when failure is staring you in the face again, and it's getting harder and harder to talk about.

We're hopeful about tomorrow but we're not expecting a positive result I'm sorry to say.

ArthurDent

Azoo,

i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you - try and stay as positive as you can. Been there on the ttc roundabout and its not a great place to be.

Azoo

It's bad news I'm sorry to say. C's did another test this evening, and it came back negative - 'Not Pregnant'.

The Clown Man

Best of luck man.

I really hope I never have to face that kind of trauma and I couldn't begin to imagine how it feels. But all I can do is wish you the best of luck. And keep trying. If you're doing it for 10 years and it only works once then it's all worth it. So keep trying. It will work sometime I'm sure. Twice could never be enough to doubt that it will work. Maybe a hundered times but twice no!

And maybe even if it becomes routine - well then the time it works will be the surprise and probably the best surprise in the world!

Beruthiel

Azoo wrote:

Next Tuesday is our big day

well today is D Day
I guess we are all hoping at this stage that it went well for you?

Azoo

Beruthiel wrote:

well today is D Day
I guess we are all hoping at this stage that it went well for you?

It didn't happen this time.
C's period has come - spotting. And she did a test last night which came out negative - those tests are 98% accurate.
C when back to the clinic this morning to do a blood test. We'll get the results at noon, and we're sure they'll confirm last night's result.

To say we're disappointed is an understatement. It's more than that.

ThreadKiller

Hi Azoo,

Have you thought of adoption ?

Just out of interest & hope I'm not being crass but how much does IVF cost per session ?

Beruthiel

Azoo wrote:

To say we're disappointed is an understatement. It's more than that.

I am truly sorry to hear that Azoo,
this process has got to be the most frustrating and soul destroying thing for any couple to go through.
I have no words of comfort for you, I doubt there are any that would help. Treat C well tonight, she needs it, as do you.


ThreadKiller
adoption is a very long, drawn out process which is getting even harder these days due to more women keeping their babies.
in saying that however, my aunt who couldn't have kids adopted two girls, so it can be done.

miniperson

Call me an optimist or a hoper.

But she is still only spotting - no full period. Wait for the blood test.

HcG levels (hormone that is present if you are pregnant-this is what is tested for when you do a preggers test) can be very low and undetectable at this stage - even though it is there.

A blood test will detect even the smallest of traces.

I have my fingers crossed for you.

Azoo

miniperson wrote:

Call me an optimist or a hoper.

But she is still only spotting - no full period. Wait for the blood test.

HcG levels (hormone that is present if you are pregnant-this is what is tested for when you do a preggers test) can be very low and undetectable at this stage - even though it is there.

A blood test will detect even the smallest of traces.

I have my fingers crossed for you.

Thanks for the optimism Mini, but the blood test results are back and it's negative.


I so wished to have brought you all better news but no, it is not in my power to do so. It's getting harder and harder to go on. Harder and harder to keep hoping. Harder and harder to accept that this may not work out for us. It's so close that we could almost reach out and grab it, but it's still very far away.

miniperson

I am sorry to hear that Azoo.

Please dont give up hope.

Look after yourself and the Mrs.

Lenny

Just remebered this topic now and wanted to see the what happened,
that bad news for both of you, sorryfor it to happen

sanncoo

Azoo

I've just read this thread and I am sitting at my desk crying.

I can't imagine the pain and frustration you both felt this week.

My heart goes out to you both......

ThreadKiller

Sorry to hear that azoo... How much does this cost you every session ?

moridin

I'm really sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you this time. From reading your posts it's clear that this is something that you two want desperately. It might not be a huge amount of consolation, but it's clear that throughout the whole process you're both deeply committed to each other and love one another, and in these times that's a rare thing - you've faced something that would have split up a lot of couples, and while the results have so far been a disappointment, I really really hope that things will turn out okay for you both in the end.

unkel

I am so sorry Azoo it didn't work out again

Can't even start to imagine what it must be like to go through the IVF cycle for the third time. Keep up your obviously very strong spirit though!

You most likely have, but have you tried all possible ways to get your sperm count up?

Azoo

Hi again, and thanks for all your kind words and wishes.

It's a week now since we've had our bad news. A real downer. Felling numb really. You don't feel nothing after a while. We didn't cry that much this time as the first failed attempt, but it's not any better. Must be conditioning I suppose. Nothing else to do except shared a bottle of wine and stared at the TV.

Every so often C would say "I don't believe it". "I know. I know", I'd respond feebly. "That's six gone now. Six embryos. Gone". At this stage, a slight ray of anger creeps into me and I direct it unfairly at C. I think, but I don't say, how could you lose 6? How could you be so careless? What's wrong with you? You checked out fine. You're perfect for the job. I'm the one with the problem. I'm the seven sperm hero. I'm the one who has F##### this us for us. But you? You're perfect. Everything down there is in perfect working order. The doctors said so. How could you lose all six?!

C knows when I'm angry, and asks me straight out if I'm angry with her. She knows I am. And I know that she knows. But I have to get a grip. You can't keep blaming her, dick-head? It's not her fault. And when I look into myself, I see that I don't blame her. I just needed an outlet for my anger. Anger is a stupid emotion to have in this situation, or any other for that matter.

C's period is nearly finished. The negative blood test is one thing, but her period is a constant reminder this week of our failure. Every month it's same again for C. She believes in miracles. That one of my sperms might some how do the job naturally. The odds of that happening for us happening is about 2 million to one at best. Normal sperm count is about 20 million to one millilitre. A low sperm count is about 1 million. I'm about 7 sperms - so few that you could almost name them. It's a miracle that we get fertilisation and that's thanks to the people at the IVF clinic.

Somebody encouraged us earlier in this tread that we shouldn't give up and that we can try and try again. And they're right and it's great to get that support. It really is. And if all things were equal we would try and try again. We're playing a numbers game here. The more you try the better you're chances are of success. They say that we have a 25% chance every time of success. But these odds don't accumulate. It's a 1 in 4 chance every time no matter how many times you do it, but that's better odds that in Russian Roulette. But you can't keep doing it. The physical, emotional and financial costs are very difficult to bear.

Financially it costs us about €5,000 a go. And less for a frozen cycle. And we're lucky money isn't a problem for us. We're in well enough paid jobs and it isn't that hard to get the cash from some where. Anyway, having a kid costs about €7,000 a year so if you can't afford IVF you will find it difficult to afford a child. That's how we think about it.

By far the biggest costs are emotionally and physically. No matter how much money you have, it's these costs which will always prove to be the back breaker. All that failure will take down even the most optimistic person. Depression is common, and that not the emotion you want when you want to make babies. You want to create a life not destroy one.
Most worrying is the side effects all this hormone therapy is having on C. Breast cancer is more prevalent in women on hormone replacement therapy (HRT). And over stimulation of the ovaries can prove fatal. C suffered from this over stimulation in this cycle. Scary. These are just two of the life threatening side effects of IVF.

We have hopefully one frozen cycle coming up in a few months as it takes a woman about three months to recover from a full IVF cycle. There is no guarantee that all three embryos will still be alive after they've thawed. We won't know until that day.

If we fail then we don't know if we can continue. I'm pushing C to continue, and I feel guilty, but I have to push - I am the cheerleader after all. C's not sure if she can go on. Physically and emotionally it's hitting her a hundred time worse than it's hitting me. We'll find it hard to accept but you will reach a stage when you just can't keep going on.

rainbow kirby

Don't know what else to say here but...
*hugs*