Moving in with the girlfriend

Scruff

I'm moving in with my girlfriend this weekend and i'm completely stressed out over it. We've been going out for 5 years now and shes been trying to get me to move in with her for the last 2 years since she bought her house but it was completely the wrong side of dublin from where i work so i didnt. but the company i'm with has moved into town a few weeks ago so that reason is gone :rolleyes:
I was looking forward to it a couple of weeeks ago but as the date drew nearer i started getting more and more stresed about it.
I'm getting stressed about the fact i'm getting stressed as well. I'm asking myself why am i stressing in the first place and it just goes in a loop. We practically live together as it is, she's either out in my place or i'm out in hers and its rare that we're apart more than one night a week.
Maybe its the whole "commitment" thing (though after 5 years ye'd think that shouldnt be an issue) and the loss of personal space.
Any thoughts or words from yer own experience?

fitz

Trick with any long term thing is to maintain your time to yourself.
There should be a couple of nights a week that you can set aside for yourself...to see mates or whatever.
Both of you should be able to do your own thing.

Gilgamesh

I think it is quite normal, I think the reason you are stressed is because you think that if you or she is in a bad mood, you still have to cope with eachother, as you live in the same place.
I would recommend from my experience, once you have moved in ,it will feel completely normal to you, and you should settle down very quickly.
it is definetly a good step to take

narommy

fitz wrote:

Trick with any long term thing is to maintain your time to yourself.
There should be a couple of nights a week that you can set aside for yourself...to see mates or whatever.
Both of you should be able to do your own thing.

How wise you are. My gf is quite and doesn't make friends easily and i'm her best friend... meaning we're together 99% of the time.

This should be sorted out before moving in if it is a problem.

*edit- But it is a good idea and it has to happen sometime if you don't see any problems looming in you relationship go for it
Also sort out your rent/or share in mortgage early. And come to arrangement regarding bills and food and all money issues
Good Luck*

tinkerbell

If there are two bedrooms in the house, why don't you move into the spare one, at least then ye'd have some space anyway whenever you both need it, and then, ye'd have different beds to go to if ya wanted time alone, all the other nights then ye could sleep together in whoever's room!

Then again, you probably would need the spare bedroom for all your stuff anyway, coz since she's a girl, she probably has LOADS of stuffs

mycroft

tinkerbell wrote:

If there are two bedrooms in the house, why don't you move into the spare one, at least then ye'd have some space anyway whenever you both need it, and then, ye'd have different beds to go to if ya wanted time alone, all the other nights then ye could sleep together in whoever's room!
QUOTE]

:rolleyes:

Yeah great advice the spare room nothing says I love you then "night dear I'm going to sleep with a wall between us. Never happens.

I'm moving in with my girlfriend this weekend and i'm completely stressed out over it. We've been going out for 5 years now and shes been trying to get me to move in with her for the last 2 years since she bought her house but it was completely the wrong side of dublin from where i work so i didnt. but the company i'm with has moved into town a few weeks ago so that reason is gone

Okay look long and hard. Why are you stressed? What is the one thing that stresses you out the most. I'm concerned by "that reason is gone" cause likely it means you didn't want to in the first place but you've been using that as an excuse. and now it's gone and you've run out of excuses.

I'm asking myself why am i stressing in the first place and it just goes in a loop. We practically live together as it is, she's either out in my place or i'm out in hers and its rare that we're apart more than one night a week.

It's hard it's really bloody hard. Like others have said, take time for yourself, and your mates, and your live. You'll have plenty of arguments re washing up dishing, personal space etc...... It's going to require hard work and if at the start you're freaking out, it won't work. Answer your own worries about this before you jump in

Boggle

Let me see... you are worried that you are worried about moving in with your gf.

Wouldn't read too much into it mate, I'd be ****tin bricks! Thing is that before when ye fought ye had seperate homes to go to think but that luxury will soon be gone and thats a little freaky....

Any major change in life is always scary!...

LegacyUser

Stay where you are, I will move in with your GF

Nuttzz

5 years on and you are worried about moving in with her *sigh* Are you stressed about going away on holidays with her also? You havent even tried it and already you are moaning. She has been trying for 2 years to get you to move in, does that not give you an idea of how she feels about you, perhaps you dont feel the same way?

seamus

Talk to her about it.

The main problem that exists when people move in together, be they partners, mates, or strangers, is that everyone wants to continue to live the way they did before they moved. Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen. Everyone has different habits, different ways of doing things.

This needs to be very very clear that you both understand that there'll be a period of adjustment. You're not going to be able to leave dishes sitting out for two days like you used to, and her cushions aren't going to be kept perfectly symmetrical and neat the way she used to*. It may be her house, but that doesn't mean she gets to make all the rules. Otherwise, you'll feel like you've moved back in with your mother.

Talk to her. It needs to be 100%, absolutely crystal clear that there are compromises on both sides for it to be comfortable. She's not just gaining a lodger/****toy to keep her company, she's gaining a whole other person that will change the way she lives in the house. You'll have to keep that in mind too.