The Snails

29-09-2004 4:04pm #1

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in of their town.

The wife was hugely excited about this and wanted everything to be just perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails (escargo for the pedantic people) for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather up some snails. Verrrry grudgingly he agreed.

He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a gorgeous woman walking alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she came over to me for a chat (as every lad would)" .............He went back to gathering the snails.

All of a sudden he looked up, and the gorrrrrgeous woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place.

They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got quite hot and heavy after a time and what came next...well use your filthy imagination, he was knackered afterwards and passed out in her gaffe.

At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh sheeeeaite! My wife's dinner party!"

He gathered all his clothes, put them on really as fast as he could, grabbed his bucket, and tore out the door.

He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, the jaysussin bucket fulla snails fell out of his hand and knoced over.

There were snails everywhere, all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very pissed off wife standing in the doorway wondering where he's been all this time.

He looked at the snails on the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said - "Cmon lads, we're nearly there!"