lack of sex is getting me down

LegacyUser

I've been with my boyfriend a couple of years
We have sex once every couple of weeks - maybe one a week if Im lucky
I always show and interest and try to look my best but I think another tact is needed.
Is there anything a woman can do if her boyfriend just doesn't seem to be interested in it?

pickarooney

How do you define "show an interest". It doesn't exactly sounds like you're aflame with passion there.
Nothing will turn him on like you showing that you really, really want it

Lord diablo

tell him out straight that u want more no guy will turn ya down unless there is something wrong or is getting some already (no offence just an idea)

ur-lord

it has to be said my girlfriend has complained of a simular problem, but wasnt getting no "sighns". you have to sit him down and talk about it(how very Opearh)

seamus

"Showing an interest" and "looking your best" may not be the kind of signals you think will work. Us men are silly animals. Unless it's written on your face, we won't get it, and even then we might read it wrong.

I know personally, although I'm in the mood, I can be a bit wary about when to choose my moments, and although you've been going out a while, no man likes getting shot down for sex at any time.

Put simply, when you fancy it, be obvious. Seductive kisses, playful "tickling" (i.e. in certain places) or just downright grinding yourself against his leg should make your intentions clear.

There is the whole "Men need variety" school of thought, but 99% of the time, if it's being offered by the other half, a man will take it. Vanilla flavoured sex is still sex. If he's just not interested, I'd suggest that you have bigger problems than a lack of sex.

Winters

PM me for my number and I shall sort you out

Tbh, you need to probably talk it over with him. He may have a problem or something and he could be to embarrased to talk about it without some encouragment. You could try and "entice" him a bit more and possibly stronger. Blokes can be very slow to pick up on stuff.

Lord diablo

i dont know about ye but if i was been tickled in places or seduced by my gf then tell ya something i would react and if i didnt then something else would and i have been going out with my gf for 4 yrs

garthv

I mean totally no offence by this but maybe your boyfriend is not attracted to you sexually anymore,
Your best bet is to sit down and have a chat with him not with us:)

Kell

Hhmmn. A bit more obvious methinks would work. You could try while sat in one evening watching telly, slipping your hand into your knickers and getting yourself off.

There is something seriously wrong if THAT doesnt turn him on. Theres nothing makes a bloke hornier than watching a girl bring herself off.

K-

Vaseago

:rolleyes: I fits that bad. May be you should find some one new...

Vaseago

:rolleyes: If its that bad. May be you should find some one new...

Zulu

Kell wrote:

Hhmmn. A bit more obvious methinks would work. You could try while sat in one evening watching telly, slipping your hand into your knickers and getting yourself off.

There is something seriously wrong if THAT doesnt turn him on. Theres nothing makes a bloke hornier than watching a girl bring herself off.

K-

Kell knows what he's talking about

The Corinthian

Kell wrote:

Theres nothing makes a bloke hornier than watching a girl bring herself off.

Except for watching a girl being brought off by another girl.

Kell

The Corinthian wrote:

Except for watching a girl being brought off by another girl.

Me dribbles from several orifices.

K-

skittishkitten

Has he always been like this or is it a new thing with him ? Unfortunately some guys just aren't "up" for it all the time. Some guys aren't to good at picking up not so subtle hints either , although with sex I thought it was suppose to be always on their mind.......standing naked between them and the TV at times helps. I'd try teasing him into it more first, there are alot of fun and naughty things you can try ......then if it's not working sit down and talk to him. If he working long hours or under alot of stress it can affect his sex drive . Sometimes knowing that your there and that you care can help alot , give him someone to vent to .....then give him someone to "vent" to .

james1984gmit

interesting,if yur over 25 u cud consider me,ya c im aftr an older woman,ther da best.

Doodee

Talk to him, its really the only way you will find out.

However, be prepared for a let down or to get hurt. but at the end of the day your better off being single than being with someone who doesn't find your advances sexually appealing, as you'll wind up depressed and lacking self confidence when its all said and done.

best of luck.

seamus

Doodee wrote:

Talk to him, its really the only way you will find out.

However, be prepared for a let down or to get hurt. but at the end of the day your better off being single than being with someone who doesn't find your advances sexually appealing, as you'll wind up depressed and lacking self confidence when its all said and done.

best of luck.

Always painting the optimistic picture, eh?

Hanginthere

Lucky boyfriend tbh, stupid but lucky

mjn

Kell wrote:

Hhmmn. A bit more obvious methinks would work. You could try while sat in one evening watching telly, slipping your hand into your knickers and getting yourself off.

There is something seriously wrong if THAT doesnt turn him on. Theres nothing makes a bloke hornier than watching a girl bring herself off.

K-

how true.....

mjn

james1984gmit wrote:

interesting,if yur over 25 u cud consider me,ya c im aftr an older woman,ther da best.

can we have that in English please?

0utshined

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=187561 ?

I think you need to talk to him. It's the only way it's going to get sorted. Well, apart from Kell's suggestion maybe...

0.

Shad0r

Some time when he's least expecting it, whip his pants off and go down on him.

If that doesnt presuade him, dump him. He's either gay (and doesnt realise it/in denial) or just doesnt find you attractive anymore. Either way you need to have a healthy sex life, its just too important in an adult relationship and lets face it, its not like there arent plenty of guys out there with high sex drives....

po0k

Turn the fezezil loose on him.

azezil

what's this about the who now~!

the evil belly

you need to do 2 things
1.show up naked.
2.bring beer

that should solve the problem. us guys are easy

EKRIUQ

How about getting a couple of dirty movies to get him in the mood if that doesn't work , you may have problems. But please don't give that line "Is there somebody else" because that will really make him mad especially when there isn't

Nevyn

the evil belly wrote:

you need to do 2 things
1.show up naked.
2.bring beer

that should solve the problem. us guys are easy

Not all guys are that easy

sex starts a lot easier then getting the pants of your partner/guy/gal
sometimes it starts with a smoldering look and them bursts into to flames but
other times it has got to be let smolder a while.
It can start with an arm rub or scratching you nails on his neck what ever gets his notice and then leave it a while. a series of non aggressive seeming casual touches gets them thinking and noticing you.

not all guys want or can cope with a sexually up front advailible get over here i want it now type lady esp if it is in a serios realtionship they want a nice/good girl. some times the best way to get some is pretend you dont want any. men are odd creatures esp the irish catholic male with their
mammy/whore complex they all have one it shows in different ways.

making time is a tricky issue ( even if the are no kids )
for trying to pencil in time seems to upset some guys and they think what
in bed by 8 at it by 815 orgasam around 9ish is to preplanned .
maybe you will just have to set you alarm a hour early and catch him as he wakes for a good morning smile on your face for the rest of they day.

you could try porn together watching that is but there are those males who
dont like that.

if you are livign together try to figure out his "alone" time all guys even those in a realtionship find time for a lil self love catch him at it or cut in on his time
for a quick **** and you may get for action.

the more active and fit your guy is the more engery he as maybe he has stopped going running or to the gym get him moving again it benifits the both of ye.

get your self a decent set of stockings girl and best of luck
and failing that get some ginseng into his diet openly or get it in liquid form and but a few drops in a glass of water or lemonade not beer or coffee.

if the realationship is worth it get this sorted or else you may have to move on to more active male.

or maybe he has a kink that you have not figured out yet

there are sexual relationship cousellors you can see but finding a good one is as hard as getting a guy to go with you.

in the mean time I hope you got enough batteries.

Kell

Thaed wrote:

Not all guys are that easy

sex starts a lot easier then getting the pants of your partner/guy/gal
sometimes it starts with a smoldering look and them bursts into to flames but
other times it has got to be let smolder a while.
It can start with an arm rub or scratching you nails on his neck what ever gets his notice and then leave it a while. a series of non aggressive seeming casual touches gets them thinking and noticing you.

I thought the original poster said that these methods had failed miserably and thats why she had posted in the first place?

K-

pickarooney

Thaed wrote:

if you are livign together try to figure out his "alone" time all guys even those in a realtionship find time for a lil self love catch him at it or cut in on his time
for a quick **** and you may get for action.

It's called "alone time" for a reason. Just him and his mammy/whore.

Velvet Vocals

Kell wrote:

I thought the original poster said that these methods had failed miserably and thats why she had posted in the first place?

K-

Yes but Thaed's post is the best on here!!! Forget all the "get your knickers off and don't forget the beer" advice. This girls is in a R E L A T I O N S H I P, she'll be seeing this man again and also wants to enjoy the experience her self. What I got from reading most of the replies was just a guy's take on how to satisfy a man rather then what she was looking for which was how to improve sex in a relationship. So fair play to yea Thaed..nail on the head and all that!!

pickarooney

Which of the replies contained suggestions that would not be enjoyable for herself?
Gooses and ganders and all that jazz.

Zulu

Saint Something wrote:

What I got from reading most of the replies was just a guy's take on how to satisfy a man rather then what she was looking for which was how to improve sex in a relationship.

Yea, but she asked "Is there anything a woman can do if her boyfriend just doesn't seem to be interested in it?"
She didn't ask "Is there anything I can do, that I'll find enjoyable, that he'll be interested in?"

Zombrex

To me, I seems rather un-natural that your boyfriend isn't interested in sex for weeks on end. Most men are interested in sex about every 5 minutes. Because of this I think there is probably something going on beyound simply him not being turned on.

It could be a whole load of things

Is he depressed, or on any form of anti-depressent? Those things can kill a sex drive.

Do you know if he masterbates a lot. Some men have problems with "real" sex, perferring the safety (for want of a better word) of masterbation with a magazine.

There is of course the possibility that he is having an affair, though I would say it is probably not that.

What you need to do is have a serious talk with him about this. Tell him you like sex, and that you want to sleep with him, and you are confused about why he doesn't seem to want that a lot. But don't get angry with him, or accept it if he doesn't give you a real answer and just starts sleeping with you again, because he might be embarrashed if he is having a problem and just try and hide it.

I definitly wouldn't try to seduce him with sexy dancing or anything. You don't want him to feel under pressure to have sex if it is really a problem for him.

fitz

Typedef your sister before his very eyes.

That'll work a treat, especially if he harbours any secret lusts towards her.



Just be more obvious.
Subtle hints don't work.
Talk to him about it...