Advise on a girl ?

r_rift

Ok, new to the forum and looking for some advise.
Heres my situation.

Met a girl last feb, got to know here a little bit and asked her out, she couldn't and mentioned she had a boyfriend - fair enough I say.

So over the last 7/8 months have gotten to know here really well but any contact made would be by me. For example she will go for coffee with me when I ask but no more than that, ie cinema etc.....

Now its been 3 weeks since we last spoke and I have not contacted her but as usual she has not txt me or anything.
I may txt her on the weekend and go for coffee and a chat again just to stay in contact.

Can anyone advise me here am I just deluding myself, should I stay in contact with the girl (she is still going out with the boyfriend) or best just to move on, leave her be and not disturb the pool.

Sarky

If you want her as a girlfriend, you're deluding yourself. She's stayed with the same boyfriend for the 8 months you knew her, surely that tells you something. What you have right now is a friend who'll join you for coffee. Believe me, that's something pretty special as it is.

angeldelight

well imo it doesn't sound like that she's interested in being more than friends so maybe she thinks the cinema would give false impression as its kinda associated with couples? If you don't mind doing all the work and would value her friendship I'd say stay in touch but not if you're only waiting for chance for it to turn into more.. All that said none of us knows what she's thinking!

OY

r_rift wrote:

or best just to move on, leave her be and not disturb the pool.

I just got a mental image from LOTR, of Aragorn grabbing your arm as you are throwing rocks into the murky depths: "Don't disturb the water"!

And i think that that pretty much sums it up.

No seriously though, it takes two to tango and maybe you should look elsewhere. There are lots of other pools that do not have man eating, all tentacle and teeth monsters at the bottom.

r_rift

Thats great I'll stay in touch with her as I value her friendship very much but will move on - thanks for the advise guys.

Teddi

to sum it up!!??

LEAVE IT ALONE NOW!!

i was in your position a while back...if she has a boyfriend?..leave it!..

i was left with nothing at the end of it all..i too did most of the contacting

she used to mainly contact me when her boyfriend was acting up...yada yada

anyway...

not to rain on your parade..but ull only get hurt in the end mate..

Corksham

I agree with what others have said, best leave things as they are. From my (*cough*) vast experience with women they are alot less behind the door than men, i.e. if she is interested in anything other than friendship you'd know by now and from the evidence presented to the court the jury has decided that she is only interested in frienship, which in itself is worth holding on to.
To sum up - move on.

Zulu

Relationships are supposed to be exclusive.
Friendship aren't meant to be effort.

Johnny Versace

Deluding yourself.

She is totally not committed to you and you deserve better (you are making a friendship effort, she is making no effort.)

Move on and meet someone else.

You'll just regret wasting your time.

Quigs Snr

On the other hand, my ex was eventually worn down by a 'really nice guy' and f**ked his brains out at the office chrimbo party. Thus ended 7 years. So you never know, try your luck, just because she hasn't put out already doesn't mean shes not a cheating whore.

Sorry voice of bitterness speaking here. Really, if I were you I would get well away, let their own thing run its course, keep tabs and if things change then maybe throw the dice, but don't be the other guy you'll never have any peace with her should you get into a relationship later, next time she comes home telling you about some nice guy in work or whatever, you will be thinking, well if I sneaked in there, this other guy might, after all there is a precedent, the girls got form as it were.