Tha dating game!

memphis

Hi all,

Ok this may sound crazy, and although this is personal I'm not going unreg. I think that those on boards that know me maybe a little more helpful when they see that I have had the balls to post this.

Anyway, I recently found out that the girl I have fancied for years (but have never had the confidence to say) split with her fella a few months ago, and as far as I know is still single.

We've been pals since school and I have her mobile number for somtime. Now although I seldom text her I started to again recently just being friendly. making small talk, asking her about work, and so on. Last week I text and asked her for coffee. Now although it may have sounded as if i was asking her on a date/coming onto her, or whatever, I really was just trying to me friendly. I'm not one to rush into a relationship (I've been single for 4 years, having been hurt badly).

She simply responded saying that she would see me at the weekend, which I didn't. I'm starting to think that she's trying to give me the hint, now I could be wrong maybe she is just playing hard to get. But either way its clear she knows I'm keen on her.

so advice please, what do I do. Do I let her go? Or do I try again, maybe even up the odds to asking her out for a meal, tell her straight out that i fancy her, or am I starting to sound like a pest? And believe me thats the last thing I want to seem like.

memphis

BaZmO*

I definitely wouldn't "up the odds" as you put it, there's potential there to scare her off and as you've said, you do fancy her but you don't want to rush it.
If I was in your position I'd just text her again about something random and then mention all casual like that you never got to go for coffee and see what her response is. If she makes her excuses well then you probably know her answer.

Gluck with it anyway!

B.

Gordon

Did she cancel on you?

I wouldn't seem overly keen and I wouldn't tell her I liked her, it should be obvious enough.

Keep cool and invite her out again. Try the 3 strike rule if it makes you happy.

Steeeeeerike 1.

MistressPandora

TBH, I'd be a bit cautious, there's gotta be *something* in the air, and you've both got to be relaxed enough around her to be yourself. Put aside your feelings and try to make good friends with her first. It usually works, first you become friends, and then maybe later on in the future some sparks might fly.

Good luck!

azezil

You were blown off, she sounds uninterested... but yeah give it another go, but not a dinner! don't be so upfront about it, puts pressure on the other person... something more casual, a drink perhaps.

Jamesobrady

My two cents if you wish......
I can't understand the signifigance people put on text messages and what somebody meant by...etc...etc....
Very simply if you know the girl and she knows you and you have shared social circles bump into her and talk casually to her. Only you can tell you if she likes you or not....and if your unsure after "bumping into" her a few times then go for broke and ask her if she'd like to meet up for a quick lunch or coffe or a chat over a drink sometime. Not all at once obviously.
The others are right...its not the best of ideas to commit to something formal like dinner quickly.....it's very pressurising with someone you don't know very well...and then she'll be uncomfortable and so will you.

I don't imagine asking a girl out over a text message is the best way to win her affections.....its very disconnected and defensive. I know...I do both those things very well. A cheeky friendly smile and a "Do ya fancy a coffee?" is the most effective weapon any guy has in the face of modern cosmo-induced defensive women!

You should probably keep in mind that if she's jsut broke up with someone a few months....whcih as you know yourself in the scheme of hurtful breakups isn't a long time....then the last thing she'll want is guys texting her asking her out.

I find "I've always thought you were cute" or something similarly back-trackable is better then a full blown "I really like you"....Also it gives her the option of hinting at what she thinks of you....ie:" I've always liked you too...." (woohoo) or "you're so sweet....im glad i have friends like you".....(Doh!)
Look at the girl....talk to her.....if she always makes eye contact with you and speaks more to you then anyone else then chances are she's not unliking you...which is a step in the right direction!

Best of luck etc.........

Jamesobrady

And actually.....do women play "hard to get"? I could have sworn that that was just a womens lib thing invented so silly men would buy a girl presents and dinners thinking she was"playing hard to get" but all the while she was just enjoying the power trip and freebies! Its like the whole "Ill talk to you outside the nightclub cos i can skip the q doing that...and pretend i could like you...and then fuk right off away when you've paid for me in".....Women are sneaky lads......and good at it too...you try doing that q thing in reverse....its hard!

If she plays hard to get then she don't get got.

Bunnyefey

Oh man, I knew I was doing something wrong. I always buy the GUY the drinks and presents. Feck that. I need to get more vengeful and girl like. Thats it, who wants to buy me a pint? Hehe, actually I hate the ideas of girls who like to get presents and everything paid for them. If a guy brings me somewhere or buys me something, chances are Ill do something nice back. Im sweet like that

memphis

Gordon wrote:

Did she cancel on you?

I wouldn't seem overly keen and I wouldn't tell her I liked her, it should be obvious enough.

Keep cool and invite her out again. Try the 3 strike rule if it makes you happy.

Steeeeeerike 1.

No no, she didn't cancel, she just said she'd probably see me out over the weekend with the lads, we could talk then, but I never bumped into her.

Reading through the replies I can clearly see she not interested, either that or she's simply not interested in guys anymore after the break up, but I know this girl and i can't imagine her just "switching off" like that.

I text her again today, just a casual thing, asking her how she was keeping and did she go out over weekend..... no reply..... not surprising really!

I feel like a right muppet now, she knows I like her, and I can't seem to figure out from the hints if she is interested or not..... but i can't help thinking negatively.

Ahhhhh, this is starting to do my head in.

OfflerCrocGod

memphis wrote:

Ahhhhh, this is starting to do my head in.

SHE IS NOT INTERESTED.

I just thought I'd help her out because her hints are not enough for you.

memphis

OfflerCrocGod wrote:

SHE IS NOT INTERESTED.

I just thought I'd help her out because her hints are not enough for you.

Yeah, suppose as the song goes, "plenty more fish in the sea". Am sure the right girl is there waiting for me..... somewhere!!!!

LegacyUser

Don't feel like a muppet...I know anytime a girl persued me over txt's or whatever, I was always flattered by it, and like it was nice to happen, even tho I had no interest in them. It shows confidence and that ur not a chicken-sh1t. She won't think any less of you.

BEAT

memphis wrote:

Yeah, suppose as the song goes, "plenty more fish in the sea". Am sure the right girl is there waiting for me..... somewhere!!!!

how U doin'? :cool: