Sad lonely life climaxed today

LegacyUser

Something happened to me the other day i never felt before. For the whole day i was almost unable to control my emotions and nealrly burst out into tears of grief a few times. I had this physical pain in my chest like an ache of sadness. I was simply no longer able to master my unhappiness. I was in work and just wanted to get home and open the gates of my mind to it. Followed a dark night of reflection, pain, and self recrimination.

I had been reading a book recently and its emotional theme seems to have affected me deeply (more unlocked what was gradually building). Im finally admitting the fact i know im making a life of sadness and despair for myself. First i may as well be honest and outline the problems that ive trying to ingnore by just burrying them.

Im almost 24 by the way.

1. Physical appearance weight: Im ashamed of my body and what state ive let it come to. Im 20st and 6tf2in. About 6 stone over weight id say. The worst thing about it is that ive got stretch marks on my stomach and one or two on my shoulder and upper arm. The make me disgust myself and what a woman might think of it (more on that).

2. Phyical appearence teeth: My teeth are quite simply very poor. The are not very straight and have some rotting. Im ashamed to admit i have a brace and became too scared to go back to the hospital over a year ago. Every time i think about my appearance the feeling of utter dread and blackness decends on my heart.

3. Relationships: This is the worst and actually the beginning of my depression. It began 13 years ago when my family moved. I lost my friends. In my new home i gained two new friends but over the next 4 years i lost contact and i was left alone. Since then i have finished secondary gone to collage all the whle gaining weight without any friend. In college i got on fine with people as i do easily and made them laugh and was in at the centre of a group. I am actually able to talk easily with people and make the beginning of friendships. The problem was interacting with women and extending things from college into social life. My fear of my appearance and complete ignorance of women (i have never so much as kissed or been on a date) meant i never met them socially and thus never made any real friends.

I finished college friendless and now am beginning to see the hole ive dug deep for myself. Im not an emotional guy but i dont mind saying im deperate for love and company of friends and a woman. I wish to hell i hadnt gone to an all boys school. They are a curse.

As i said today i could master the pain no more and being self pitying but a practical man its time to do something about this situation. The biggest thing to overcome is my complete isolation form society beyond family and one or two aquaitances. I need some way of finding a way or hobby or place to meet new people that isnt forced and is natural. Once i take care of my physical problems (get my arse to the dentist and swallow the shame - start exercising and eating right from today - and see a doctor abouy my wieigh and what they migh do for them marks). Though i have little money, too much for medical card help.

Im not blind to how **** my situation has become but if the light is scary then to me the dark is death. Please suggestions on how i my stop being a ghost and re-engage with the living world. Im starting from zero with nothing to loose. I dont know for a moment how i might evetually end up in love with someone but im hoping. All other comments welcomed. I really need the help.

As a sidenote: I wonder at the fact that in my hour of need i turn to is this place. The boards. Life is strange.

kirn

**** man... sorry to hear that.

all this comes from confidence. when you have confidence it is easier to talk to people... easier to make friends.. easier to talk to girls.. and you look after your body better when you take pride in yourself.

i had a lot of problems with friends a few years ago and i was advised to join a sports team or gym and to get a part time job in a social environment, such as a bar, supermarket, church whatever you're into. it helped an amazing amount, gave me confidence and gave me the ability to talk to anyone anytime.

i dunno if this helps......

k

Beruthiel

Take heart,
your situation is not desperate – as kirn has just mentioned, it’s all about confidence and self esteem, obviously you lack both.
Make a long term plan, decide to loose weight, join Weight Watchers (they are great for support) stick to a healthy diet, exercise and watch the pounds fall off.
See a dentist and get your teeth sorted asap.
As you loose the weight and your teeth are taken care of you will start to gain confidence in your own ability to take charge of your life.
Get yourself a job if you don’t have one, this will help with your social skills. As the winter approaches, there are plenty of night classes to choose from, join one to get yourself out of the house.
You may feel desperate right now but you can change it all by just building up your confidence, it will take a while but if you have the will, you can do it. One step at a time.
Best of luck
a

The Sweeper

Hello there Want_to_Change

To me, yours is quite an uplifting post. I don't see misery, I read determination, acceptance, a refreshing lack of self pity. You have begun to understand and accept yourself and through that, you feel motivated to do something about your situation.

I think you rock.

I think your post demonstrates a level of maturity and realism that leads me to believe that nothing is beyond you. And I think that after you make a first step, be it dumping the contents of your fridge right now, or phoning the dentist to make an appointment, it will have the effect of making you feel better immediately. Small steps, small victories, small changes. The big stuff will all come after that.

Zulu

Well done man - you've broken the back of the problem by recognising it and wanting to change it.
You should read the book "Awareness by Anthony DeMillo". A friend of mine gave it to me when I was going through a rough patch, it was the best book I've read. It help you.
That really is the best advice I can give you.

LegacyUser

Yes, Tony DeMello will help a lot, his books are very good.

But sometimes books are not enough... even more powerful is:
www.dhamma.org - it's the real deal. (there are non-center courses in Ireland)

It changed my life.

I was very depressed and suicidal... I actually relate to what you wrote. I also experienced the pain you speak of in your chest.. I know this. this is the real killer, and it is a sign of deep rooted problems, and depression.

Now, I am very active, eat very healthily (vegetarian 2 weeks now, off fast-food, caffeine and alcohol too - this stuff all added to my misery), slim but well toned body, am involved in many things outside work (everything from playing music to drama and martial arts)... life is going great and I get up each day feeling amazing. I feel so good. Everyone can my peace, my happiness if they work for it.. working dilligently and seriously.

Sadly... few people want to work. Few people even believe there is a way out, so they keep going around the spirals of misery and despair

It makes me weep.

MrNuked

I agree that a social job improves confidence around people a great deal, as does getting fit.
Can be easy to start drinking too much when you go from feeling like that to getting some sort of confidence and being able to socialise. Something to be careful about perhaps. Same goes for any other sort of social stimulant too.

LegacyUser

To the original poster...

When I read this, it made me cry, because I am in the exact same boat as you are. I feel the exact same as you... everything you mentioned has happened to me.

I too am almost 24, but I am female.

Weightwise, my weight has spiralled in the last year or so, to almost 19 stones. I am tall - 5 ft 11, but I am about 7 stones overweight and I hate myself and my body and what I have become. I gave up smoking and put on five stone.... in one year. I feel like its out of my control now and that its insurmountable. It doesn't help me when people I barely know feel the need to comment on my weight when I walk down the street.

My teeth too are very poor, due to years of neglect. They aren't straight and I have big cavities in teeth in the back of my mouth. I am ashamed of them and I do brush them now and take care of them, but years of neglect as a teenager mean I hate smiling or even talking to people in case they are staring at my teeth.

Relationship - I have a boyfriend and I am very happy with him, but I have lost touch with a lot of my old friends and a lot of them have moved abroad. I go to work, then come home, and other than when I am with my boyfriend, I never see friends or people my age, because I don't have the confidence to approach people and make friends with them.

I am a bright person, and I know that I am, but a lack of motivation and drive has meant that I have ended up working in useless, boring jobs where I am not challenged and that I absolutely hate. I want to go back to college and do something, but I am too afraid that I will mess it all up.

In the last couple of days, I have been sick, and everything just bubbled to the surface and I have been crying solidly. And not just tears... I found myself sobbing huge, heaving sobs and I felt like my heart had broken in two. My life was in tatters and I didn't know what was coming next.

The tears have done something for me though. They have shown me that I deserve more than my sadness and my unhappiness. So - in the last couple of days, I have taken steps to change the path of my future. I have set the ball rolling college wise. I have booked a dentists appointment and I am going to a Weight Watchers meeting on Friday.

Nothing will click back into position straight away. Baby steps towards happiness is the better approach. You are lucky, in that you recognise that life can't go on for you like this. This is the first day of the rest of your life, and it is AMAZING how doing something as small as making a phone call and booking a dentists appointment can help. Being pro-active is the key. It is hard and it is such a struggle, but you can do it. It is hard sometimes to sit down and admit your apparent shortcomings, as you have done, but its the first step. You at least aren't fooling yourself into thinking you are just going through a rough patch.

Also - I went to see my GP on Monday, and I spoke to him. He didn't patronise me, didn't leap to prescribe anti-depressants, he just listened and helped me to realise that the key to my own future happiness lies within myself.

I don't know that this will help you at all, but I just hope that you realise you are not alone in how you feel, and there is a way out.

Paddy20

You know, you have already made that most difficult first step. By posting on here.

No on in this world is perfect, or exactly happy about their own body or a multitude of natural human frailties. Most people go through something similar.

Frank Sinatra the late singer, had a great song which summed it all up for me. I think it was called "Thats Life", and one of the lyrics was " When your down and out, just pick yourself up and start all over again".

Something I think I've been doing most of my life.A lesson I learned many years ago during a very bad patch. Was to count your blessings, instead of concentrating on the negative things in your life.

I also learned that one of the easiest ways to take your mind off your own problems was to think about helping someone else, or extending the hand of friendship to another who may need it ?..

Just my 2 cents worth.

Good luck and I sincerely hope you will find the type of happiness you are seeking, which is often there in our own hearts just waiting to be called upon.

It's called "Inner strength" and I feel sure you will find all you need.

LegacyUser

Ok I havn't read any of the replies so forgive me if i'm repeating myself. I'm just about to re-do first year and man, beleieve me you are not alone. I can be in a room full of people (just like I was tonite), have a few beers and have a bit of craic, but still feel like the lonliest guy on the face of the planet.

I sometimes get a horrible sense of impending doom, mainly when I'm feeling really good. I'll just think, "yeah this might be good, but what about xyz" and it sucks. I wanna find a girl who will love me and that I can love, but it's like I've lost the ability. Life is ****. Even if I did find a girl who says that anything would change? Feels to me like I'm putting too much emphasis on getting a chick as though its the thing missing in my life. It's weird. I really dont know what's missing. But something definitely is.


OK I've talked shít for long enough. Just to re-iterate - I know what you mean bro!

Jamesobrady

Hey want_to_change,

Firstly i'd like to thank you for the model of courage and strength you've been to anyone who has read this thread. The fact that you have the courage and obvious determination leads me to wholeheartedly believe that you'll be alright in the end.
Without trying to triviolise your points about how unhappy you are with your weight, i would like to point out,as already stated,that we all live in a very superficial world where the ideals of having large social circles and fantastic bodies are promoted as a "normal" aspiration. We're lead to believe that if all our friends don't rely on us for moral support and every girl doesn't want to sleep with us then there is something wrong with us that can be sorted out by attending a class or paying a guy to speak to us motivationally or a certain aftershave we need to buy.
And the simple blaring truth that everyone who wants to make money from us tries suppress is that its all bull****. We are all individually entirely different from each other....some people may hold a similar view or act or socialise in similar fashions, but inside, in the way a persons thought process and self-worth works we all differ to an unmeasureable degree i believe.

Weight-watchers is continually proven to be the only reliable supportive and non-judgemental way of losing weight and more importantly; keeping it off. Both my sisters and an uncle are large in stature and very conscious of it. The three of them joined WW secretly and unknownst to each other. They all ended up meeting there accidentally one night. Imagine family being so unhappy with themselves that they couldn't tell each other about it? Totally silly in retrospect.

Losing weight is fantastic for esteem, however feeling fit is a different story.
To truly Feel Fit excercise in any form is a must. First rule of excercising..

FCUK WHAT PEOPLE THINK. IGNORE EVERYONE AND GET ON WITH IT....THEY ARENT YOU AND THEY JUST DONT KNOW.

I hate excercising. I really hate gyms. I love martial arts classes. I love lifting free weights at home. I hate push ups and situps but at the same time....realising you are able to do one more push up then you were last week is a feeling that lasts for hours.

I really would recommend a martial arts class regardless of your size or fitness level. There are no classes like the one in Karate Kid where instructors laugh at people. The majority of people get involved in martial arts because of a lack in self confidence and a want to get fit/stronger/more confident regardless of the causes of their insecurity.

Personally i got involved because i was being bullied. I stayed there because i made some really good true friends through it,and having it as a first thing in common other conversation and shared interests developed.
Also, very few people join martial arts already fit.....the point is to get fit and learn self-defense/tournament fighting. As a sidenote....something like judo or ju-jitsu will be easier for a large guy to get into straght away and i guarantee you will absolutely love it after a few classes....as with everything it takes time. I only mention this as some arts are quite inflexable as regards historically only a set pattern of movements was taught no matter the student...where modern teaching philosophies tend to teach how to adapt a certain technique so it works for the individual....taking into account his size and strength. Kickboxing is simply a fantastic way to lose weight and get fit and develop the confidence to walk down the street with your head held high. At the end of the day, knowing you can hit people hard if they deserve it is fantastic self-esteem in itself!
Again...attend as many different styles if you chose to get involved in martial arts and decide which one you prefer.

My friend every guy who walks the earth and is honest will tell you about his insecurities where women and his own perception of attractiveness are concerned. Personally...I am eaten alive by my insecurities and find approaching people i find attractive very difficult. I've stopped drinking to try improve because i was just drinking way too much to try hide it...and then when i went home alone i had the easy option of blaming being drunk because of....blah...blah...blah.....
Totally honest?....I can no more suggest to you how you should meet women then i can for myself.
Though i do find meeting people is the first step....meeting women you like is usually a coincidence and sometimes just a surprising unexpectedness nobody could have foretold or imagined. I don't mean to spin you a fairytail...but not everyone in the world is bound by the social rules of material gain and only attracted to slim people.
A lot of women would be very drawn to a person like you who has the strength you do to grab hold of your problems and insecurities and beat the bejaysus out of them till they felt the way you want them to.
No crap man.....but i would hold a girl with drive and determination and self development abilities and a sense of self-worth regardless of her figure way higher then i would a girl with just a job and a cute ass. Not all girls read cosmopolitan and think its the bible.....and with the way you describe your ability to make people laugh and your friendly nature...once you find confidence in yourself and feel happier inside nothing will hold you back.

Not a god damn thing.

I'd really genuinely like to know how you are getting on over the next few months with your new changes and endeavours. A quick email if you want would be fantastic.....and if you have any questions on martial arts or beginning a fitness and /or weights program by yourself then please don't hesitiate to mail me and i'll do as much as i can to throw a routine together for you or provide info on local classes etc regardless of your location.

You truly are an inspiration to us all and I cannot convey my admiration for you in words.

billy the squid

Im not brilliant at writing things down so please bare with me here

Firstly, having gone to boarding school between the age of 5 to 18 and then on to college I can identify with you on how it felt leaving and knowing that those that you made friends with end up being scattered all over the country and falling out of contact with them and all that. In my own situation I didnt spend much time in my own town so I didnt make many friends there either.

The only thing I can suggest is that you find people both male and female that share interests in, whether it be computers or music or whatever. In my own situation I came home from callege and came to the realisation that I knew no one and wasnt able to figure out where to start when it came to getting to know people in my area. I got involved in CB radio and later computers. (yeah im that old )

You are 24 years old. there is plenty of time for the relationships thing. If you do decide to get involved in something that helps you get to know people you will eventually bond with them. just treat them the way you would like to be treated yourself and genuine people will recognise that.

As for your appearence, set targets as far as the weight issue is concerned. Weight watchers is one of the more recognised methods of doing this. You could think of this as an opportunity to meet new people and they have the same aims as you so you will have something to break the ice with them.

I dont know if you are a regular poster to the boardds, if you are, why not turn up to some of the events being organised through the website. you should already know which people here share the same viewpoints as you from reading their posts.

As for writing on boards, I have found that writing down something helps to get crap out of my head. as bad as I am at putting a load of words together, as long as I can understand it then it helps me, hence the reason I started a blog. some people prefer diaries, so I personally dont think writing here is that strange at all.

Good luck for the future

Haket

Lots of good advise here, just a quick note on the stretch marks. When I was younger (teens) I was ~6 stone overweight (at a broad 6ft1 and 20st) and developed stretch marks on my sides, biceps. I then lost 6st in the course of 18months through a complete lifestyle change (diet and daily exercise).

As for the marks, as you loose weight and the skin tightens up again they will fade and get smaller, now they are barely noticable and any women that have, were never bothered my them, I just tell them my story and everyone can appreciate the effort it took to loose that kind of weight.

It wasnt easy but the positive effect (tons more confidence) it had on me made it easy to stick to and strive to loose more. My advise is to start NOW, dont leave it till tomorrow / monday / next full moon etc. If you fall off the wagon, just get straight back on and try again. Best of luck with it.

Hagar

My simple view on life is that you can tolerate almost anything as long as you do not have to do it alone. Friendships are the key.

You do have friends, you just haven't met us yet. We're only a few electrons away.
There are many people here who depend on these boards for social contact for one reason or another.
Make the time to go to some boards event even if you have no direct interest in whats going on. You'll meet people and who knows you might even enjoy it. Weightwatchers is a great suggestion, start there, it will enhance your self-esteem. After that the only way is up.

ps Sorry if I'm repeating other peoples advice. Positive re-inforcement and all that.

Typedef

I recommend regular strenous exercise... it will uplift your self esteem tenfold and when you are healthier you feel better, both mentally and physically.

Then just bite the bullet and see a dentist.

Your problem is obsessing about your problem. What you need to do, is in a very mindless way, take lots of small steps towards achieving your goals, instead of looking at the task as one big unsurmountable problem.

Once you break the problem down into small achieveable pieces, you begin to make progress on overcoming those problems.

Go to a gym, get an exercise program and double all the weights the trainers give you.

See a dentist. Then, go to a boards beer and try to meet some people. The drink should ... neately remove your inhibitions and anxieties... before you know it... problem solved.

LegacyUser

Well ive got to thank everyone for replying. Ive already got going.

On weight im already going on my early morning and late evening gym sessions. Got myself a membership. Wasnt nearly as daunting as i thought. No muscle bound pea brains just a few people some like myself ie FAAAAT. Im actually enjoying it. Food wise im just eating sensible portions of the things i like. Cereal, ham cheese then a small dinner. I think i was over eating and feeling blaoted, im not hungry after exrcising myself today. Two sandwiches did it.

On dentist and doctor im going to look up what im entitled to money wise and then get in contact for treatment soon. As for how im feeling its hard to describe. Im certainly not feeling fantastic but the dread aint there. Its replaced by a sort of nervous anxiety of butterflys or maybe half excitement when i think about my problems, thus goals.

When i really think about the things that bother me about my life and think of them as the easy going fellow i am im not nearly as daunted as when i percieved them as the half burried shadows on my mind. Sure im a fatso, but the way ive started in the gym im positive it will fall off me. Yeah the teeth are funky but they can fix all of it and im sure theyve seen worse. Stretch marks? Ill see how they go when i tone up and as the other guy says maybe theyre not as bad as i feel and i wouldnt want to know anyone who was disgusted by someones scars anyway.

Its a cruel and funny sentiment but im glad im not the only person on this boat! I was so annoyed with myself. Im anything but miserable and was a slave to my pride, i think. Its early days of course.

Im sure there are some others reading this who empathise. Let me say some things. First a goal. Its corny because i flick onto bull like Dr. Phil on TV and laugh at the well-heeled sobbing and talking of goals but i must concede a goal seems essential for work to be done. Mine is to be a sex machine, kidding. To EMPATHIE. Something that initially helped me understand that my problems were anything but insurmountable is listing them (the real ones bothering you). I think if you look honestly none will have no solution. I consider myself lazy but giving the discomfort my boredom and mind jangling listlessness has caused me lately i would walk 10 MILES a night to escape the feeling.

A few years ago when all theses things hadnt reached such heights i thought it was hopeless. Later their former stage seemed minor and only the present situation seem impossible and so on as the years pass. If i could tarvel back 8 years id kick myself in the head. Basically act not because time will not heel our depressions. I sound like Dr. Phil ... UNGHHERGGHH!... im off for a shower! bleh.

ando

wow amazing amount of support here. Just remember dude, 'the only normal people are the people you dont know', meaning everyone has problems so do not think for a moment you are alone. I think someone on these boards said that a few months ago which I think helps some people through tough times

Gordon

Want-to-change, unregistered posts get put in the validation queue until a mod comes and validates it, therefore you don't need to keep posting, one post is enough until a mod comes along.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=131382

Well done by the way.

Quatre Mains

hello
well done on your efforts, I wish you every success. One point I must make tho, WRT your diet, I think you should seriously consider joining up to WW or something similar, because there could be a couple of things which you might not know are fattening but are in fact hindering your progress.
As someone who has been in a position almost identical to yours, I can understand the sense of dread you probably associate with such a task, but if you take that leap you're another step closer to getting your **** together.

Beruthiel

Want_to_change wrote:

but i must concede a goal seems essential for work to be done. Mine is to be a sex machine

well if you keep going with all that you said above, this time next year you will be that sex machine!!
fair play to ya!

LegacyUser

Physical fitness is key to what you want. I mean that like you'll get better sleep, wont be lying there for 8 hours staring at the ceiling, feeling depressed. It will be hard losing weight but stick at it. Dont have to go on a diet as such but cut out snacking and soft drinks, instead fruit, veg and plenty of water combined with regular exercise and you'll notice results, other people will notice the results.

As you loose weight your confidence and self esteem will come back to you but you have to think positive and confidently from now on aswell.

Im probably sounding like a broken record but on your previous post, you've sprung into action, fair play to ya and I hope everything goes your way

Firefox

All I can say is keep at it man. You will get through it. I'm doing somthing similar myself at the moment. I'm going through a pritty rough time as well. You have to keep reminding yourself of your ultmate goal. Good Luck with it!!

LegacyUser

Man, I've been where you're hanging and i think I see how you're pinned.
Firstly get your teeth sorted.
Secondly get an exercise regime going, you may hate working out but you might just hate being overweight more. The natural endorphins released by physical exercise will make you feel better, this coupled with weight loss will work wonders for your mental health.
Quit alcohol. Alcohol is depressent and will only give you short term pleasure for medium term loss. You needn't give up drink forever, just long enough to get your head straight.
Set yourself some goals. Identifiable goals will give you a focus and a sense of achievement. For example run a mile, and try to knock a minute off your time in the next month, or do a nightcourse, basically anything you like that can give you a feeling of accomplishment.
Remember how bad you feel now, don'y deny it, use it to spur yourself on when you don't feel like training or working.

SheroN

WRT to your strech marks. There is an oil you can buy in the chemist to reduce strech marks. Can't remember what it's called but i'm sure they'll know what it is!

Corksham

PM me if you want some advice on coping with depression and anxiety, alot of people here will offer good advice but not really know what you are going through whereas I do, please feel free to PM me. I mean no dis-respect to others offering advice by the way

Batbat

Want_to_Change wrote:

Something happened to me the other day i never felt before. For the whole day i was almost unable to control my emotions and nealrly burst out into tears of grief a few times. I had this physical pain in my chest like an ache of sadness. I was simply no longer able to master my unhappiness. I was in work and just wanted to get home and open the gates of my mind to it. Followed a dark night of reflection, pain, and self recrimination.

I had been reading a book recently and its emotional theme seems to have affected me deeply (more unlocked what was gradually building). Im finally admitting the fact i know im making a life of sadness and despair for myself. First i may as well be honest and outline the problems that ive trying to ingnore by just burrying them.

Im almost 24 by the way.

1. Physical appearance weight: Im ashamed of my body and what state ive let it come to. Im 20st and 6tf2in. About 6 stone over weight id say. The worst thing about it is that ive got stretch marks on my stomach and one or two on my shoulder and upper arm. The make me disgust myself and what a woman might think of it (more on that).

2. Phyical appearence teeth: My teeth are quite simply very poor. The are not very straight and have some rotting. Im ashamed to admit i have a brace and became too scared to go back to the hospital over a year ago. Every time i think about my appearance the feeling of utter dread and blackness decends on my heart.

3. Relationships: This is the worst and actually the beginning of my depression. It began 13 years ago when my family moved. I lost my friends. In my new home i gained two new friends but over the next 4 years i lost contact and i was left alone. Since then i have finished secondary gone to collage all the whle gaining weight without any friend. In college i got on fine with people as i do easily and made them laugh and was in at the centre of a group. I am actually able to talk easily with people and make the beginning of friendships. The problem was interacting with women and extending things from college into social life. My fear of my appearance and complete ignorance of women (i have never so much as kissed or been on a date) meant i never met them socially and thus never made any real friends.

I finished college friendless and now am beginning to see the hole ive dug deep for myself. Im not an emotional guy but i dont mind saying im deperate for love and company of friends and a woman. I wish to hell i hadnt gone to an all boys school. They are a curse.

As i said today i could master the pain no more and being self pitying but a practical man its time to do something about this situation. The biggest thing to overcome is my complete isolation form society beyond family and one or two aquaitances. I need some way of finding a way or hobby or place to meet new people that isnt forced and is natural. Once i take care of my physical problems (get my arse to the dentist and swallow the shame - start exercising and eating right from today - and see a doctor abouy my wieigh and what they migh do for them marks). Though i have little money, too much for medical card help.

Im not blind to how **** my situation has become but if the light is scary then to me the dark is death. Please suggestions on how i my stop being a ghost and re-engage with the living world. Im starting from zero with nothing to loose. I dont know for a moment how i might evetually end up in love with someone but im hoping. All other comments welcomed. I really need the help.

As a sidenote: I wonder at the fact that in my hour of need i turn to is this place. The boards. Life is strange.

Jesus your only 24, your whole life is ahead of you, pull yourslef together, its hard to lose weight but your young, go to one of the boards events if you want to meet people, cheer up.

LegacyUser

I just though id say thx again for all the help. The physical activity really keep the bad feelings at bay. Im down nearly 3/4 of a stone already. Ill keep at it and might post in a couple months, bye all.

Corksham

Batbat wrote:

Jesus your only 24, your whole life is ahead of you, pull yourslef together, its hard to lose weight but your young, go to one of the boards events if you want to meet people, cheer up.

If someone is genuinely suffering from depression then "pull yourself together" is not very helpful advice and also "Jesus your only 24 is patronising", "cheer up" shows you know nothing about depression.
I dont mean to criticise your post as I know you mean well

Beruthiel

Batbat wrote:

pull yourslef together

Batbat
next time you give advice on PI - please try to be a little more constructive with it
B

Batbat

Beruthiel wrote:

Batbat
next time you give advice on PI - please try to be a little more constructive with it
B

Im afraid thats about as constructive as I get :eek:

vibe666

Batbat wrote:

Im afraid thats about as constructive as I get :eek:

then you might want to consider not posting at all.

want_to_change, you're already getting there, you've started your journey. just think about your goals and stick with them. any time you start to waver post something on boards and we'll give you all the encouragement you need to keep going.

there are lots of people on here who really care, many of whom have been in the same or similar position as yourself and can offer you good advise.

you're not alone mate, this is a community after all.

Batbat

vibe666 wrote:

then you might want to consider not posting at all.

want_to_change, you're already getting there, you've started your journey. just think about your goals and stick with them. any time you start to waver post something on boards and we'll give you all the encouragement you need to keep going.

there are lots of people on here who really care, many of whom have been in the same or similar position as yourself and can offer you good advise.

you're not alone mate, this is a community after all.

you could be right there!

LegacyUser

"Quit alcohol. Alcohol is depressent and will only give you short term pleasure for medium term loss."

I have to say, this is some of the best advice given. We live in a crazy world.. a society of addictions, cravings, lies and conditioning coming from many sources. It's a society where it's quite easy to fall into deep unhappiness. But it's also a wonderful world when you decide to live life YOUR way, rather than just doing what you're told.

I would avoid taking medication, you can solve all your problems by living healthily.

I would also recommend books by Deepak Chopra - this guy writes amazing stuff that will energize and change your life. He put me on the right path, and gave me great inspiration through dark times... I think I've finally come out of the tunnel thanks to his inspiring writing. In particular, check out "The seven spiritual laws of success" and more in depth, "Quantum Healing" and "Perfect
Health".

Also, check this link - there is a good book about how to cure yourself of addictions and disease (as well as preventing problems in the future):
http://www.thiaoouba.com/introduc.htm

LegacyUser

Had a search on amazon..

Now, I don't want to weigh you down with literature or anything (at the end of the day - practical meditation is the root from which all good fruit will grow, and all impurities will be dissolved) but you can pretty much take your pick from the followng list of books:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/browse/-/282885/ref=br_dp__3/002-3957790-5760012

... and combine that with a good meditation technique !!!

From doing these things, your life will change effortlessly, easily, naturally. I promise. It will seem to good to be true

If you decide not to go down that path - you can still change your life, and reach all these "goals". But it will take big effort and it will seem harder overall to reach your goals, and will seem more like a fight than a journey because you are not tackling the deeper roots within...