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Why do I miss him so much?

  • 26-08-2004 11:33pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hello! I am a regular poster and would prefer not to use my registered name for this post.

    Anyway, I'm looking for some advice on my situation, let me explain!

    Ive been going out with my boyfriend for over two years now and we're both still young and at college. One of my close friends has been going out with her boyfriend for a year now and we all get on really well together and hang around in the same social group!

    However, my friend's boyfriend has gone to Australia to study and we won't see him for the year. The weird thing is that now that he has left, Ive been missing him quite alot. I didn't think I would miss him this much and am quite surprised! Since his departure, I've even started feeling dissatisfied with my own relationship with my boyfriend and have started pondering my chances with the guy who's gone away for the year. He has broken up with his girlfriend because he'll be away for so long.

    I get on really well with him but am confused by these new feelings. Anyone have any comments or advice to give?


Comments

  • #2
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Far away hills are always greener.


  • #3
    Zulu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,967 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    Tough one.
    I gotta admit - I have never been in that position, but I guess....

    If anything did happen between you two, how would your friend feel?
    How would your current boyfriend feel?
    How would you feel impacting both of them in such a way?

    When I was in love - I used to think, "how would she feel" about any dilemma I might have had. It really help me, as I never wanted to hurt her.

    Just a taught...


  • #4
    Lisapeep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 524 ✭✭✭Lisapeep


    Far away hills often seem greener but then, the odd time they actually are greener!


  • #5
    martarg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 209 ✭✭martarg


    Laranya wrote:
    The weird thing is that now that he has left, Ive been missing him quite alot. I didn't think I would miss him this much and am quite surprised! Since his departure, I've even started feeling dissatisfied with my own relationship with my boyfriend and have started pondering my chances with the guy who's gone away for the year. He has broken up with his girlfriend because he'll be away for so long.

    The only advice I can offer is for you to take it easy... keep in mind that he is going to be away for one whole year, so your chances are actually zero until he returns, and meanwhile you run the risk of ruining your relationship with your boyfriend (then again, perhaps this happened because the relationship was in trouble in the first place, but you are the only one who can tell). If these thoughts only started after he had left, my gut feeling is that it's probably temporary and you will get over it, so perhaps treat it like a fever, and try to figure out whether there are issues with your boyfriend that brought you to this... on the other hand, as Zulu said, you should consider very carefully how this can affect your friend, and whether you would be willing to sacrifice your friendship for a guy. If she is a really close friend, I would not consider it for a minute. True friends are much harder to replace than love interests....


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