Forrest Gump Dies

BEAT

FORREST GUMP DIES
>
>The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
>the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed >and
>Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
>
>St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have
>heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
>filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for
>everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get
>into
>Heaven."
>
>Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But
>nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't
too >hard;
>life was a big enough test as it was."
>
>St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
>questions.
>
>First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>
>Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
>
>Third: What is God's first name?"
>
>Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and
>sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
>chance
>to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
>
>Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin
>with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and
>Tomorrow.
>
>The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I
>was
>thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll
>give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
>
>"How ma ny seconds in a year?"
>
>"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that
>and
>I guess the only answer can be twelve..."
>
>Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's
>name
>could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
>
>Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd,
>March 2nd. . . ..."
>
>"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,
>and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in
mind.....but >I'll
>have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and
>final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
>
>"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."
>
>"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
>understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
>but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first
>name of God?"
>
>"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it
>from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME
I >AM HIS OWN. . "
>
>St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Suaimhneach

Hehehe, ehehehehe.

Lainey

ahh.. a titter at bed time

Gurgle

. . . . . tumbleweed . . . . .

Tyrrial

i like, it funny and it doesn't force anyone to think.

Gurgle

Tyrrial wrote:

i like, it funny and it doesn't force anyone to think.

It actually prevents you from thinking.

kmart6

Gud'un

Stephen P

Haha very good

Diddy Kong

Gurgle wrote:

It actually prevents you from thinking.

funny....

ApeXaviour

Oh god what is wrong with you people, that was one of the most tedious jokes I have ever heard! Actually made me wince.. Yis need to sophisticate your humour a bit methinks..