Dont know what to do

LegacyUser

I won't bore you all with the background, but recently my parents decided to kick me out of the house. Im staying with a friend for now but I honestly dont know what to do. I cant stay here forever but I think Im too young to live on my own.

Right now I feel quite depressed and worried. I knew my parents were odd, but I never thought they'd resort to KICKING ME OUT OF THE HOUSE! They're my parents for christ's sake. I'm 18, have a few friends I might be able to stay with. Failing that I could move to my sisters house in the country but I just dont know.

Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing? Any sort of advice is welcome.

JohnCleary

are you still in school? Are you in college? What are your circumstances. are you employed?

Tommy Vercetti

If you aren't going to disclose the background information then it is nigh on impossible to offer any advice to you.

Boston

It pretty clear who you are. Listen allot of people move out of home at your age. Just keep your head down and forget dreams about going back. Work your way through college, allot of people do, you don't need your parents, your an adult now. Just believe in your own ability. Nothing quiet motivates someone like wanting to shove something in someone elses face. Prove your parents wrong.

LegacyUser

I just did my LC and my points didn't live up to my parents expectations, basically. I have to go back. I can't stay in my friends for long nor can I just go back to them.

Tommy Vercetti

Worried wrote:

I just did my LC and my points didn't live up to my parents expectations, basically. I have to go back. I can't stay in my friends for long nor can I just go back to them.

your parents are idiots, time to stand on your own two feet

Zulu

Why did they kick you out? Because you didn't get enough points? Was there another reason? (ie: had there been previous issues, and LC points were an ultimatum?)

Are you working? if so, what at? Can you get more hours? If not, you need a job - quick. Your first priority should be getting a job. Once you have that get accommodation.

Once you have a job and accommodation, you can start to worry about the rest of it.

Sorry to hear that dude.

Beruthiel

I was out on my own at 19
got a job
got a cheap dump to stay in
saved what I could
got a better place to stay
saved some money
did a fas course
got a better job, and from there things just got better and better
it will be difficult for you for some time, but you can do it!
chin up

Zulu

Beruthiel wrote:

I was out on my own at 19
got a job
got a cheap dump to stay in
saved what I could
got a better place to stay
saved some money
did a fas course
got a better job, and from there things just got better and better
it will be difficult for you for some time, but you can do it!
chin up

hat's off

lacuna

Can't you get a student grant and work your way part time through college. Live in a dump for a while. It'll be worth it in the long run. That's what I was planning on doing.
Even if you could get back into your parents house, would you really want to be living there knowing that they'd kick you out for trivial things like not living up to their expectations.

It's a big decision, don't rush it.

fragile

You can claim unemployment assistance, since you are 18 and not living at home this will have nothing to do with parents. There is also rent allowance, but in order to claim this you will need a signed letter from a landlord which may be difficult for you at the moment if you are just crashing in a friends house. Call into local social welfare centre, explain the situation and they should provide you with all the advice you need.

I dont know if there is any student grants that you claim if you are over 18, in secondary school and not recieving any financial help or accomodation from you parents, perhaps your principal could offer you some good advice on what your options are.

A lot of people support themselves through college by working a part-time job and living in a dump, its not all that bad actually for the few years of college.

Moonbeam

Did you get your colelge place?

If so accept it and go off and prove that despite them you can be succesfuil.
It's hard fending for urself as a student and the grant will still go on ur parents earnings but hundreds of people do it all the time.
And as for the age of having to fend for urself some people are able for it at 15 others will be 30 it all depends on your upbringing but nobody needs the emotional stress and turmoil that you must be going thru now so go for it:) *hugs*

JohnCleary

once again, your really gonna have to explain your circumstances to us.

Xterminator

First of all your situation in not unique!

I know that fact doesnt make you situation any easier now, but there is light at the end of the tunnell.

Regardless of the backround, which you have kept private .. you have an opportunity/challenge now.

Some of the posters have advised the social welfare/college route.

I disagree.

I would say that you would be better taking a different route!

What you need to do is get a job. In a fast food joint, or somewhere like that where they are crying out for minimium wage workers. (if it helps i seen a sign on the door of abrakebabra westmoreland st). Chances are you can get that type of work, to start immediately with no references etc. As your wage is paid to you in person, address is unimportant for the moment.

Use a friends or relatives (your parents might not mind important documents such as tax certs etc coming to the house, as long as you remain on speaking terms). Fast food joints can be good, as food is often free or reduced, keeping your overheads down!! Especially the first few weeks when your **** broke! (When applying dont mention you housing situation, just tell 'em you finshed your leaving and now you want full time work!)

Once you have your first pay check, you can find the cheapest flat you can! Often a room in a house is cheaper than a flat alone, so use your network of friends, and see if anyone in your place of work knows of a vacancy. Deposits are a bummer but, once you have a job ... perhaps you can borrow from your mate, (Who will probably be glad to get his couch back!! ) , point is if they know your working ... they know they will get the money back. If you have to, dont be too proud to ask the parents for this 'loan' for a deposit.

If you are offered a college place, and you wish to go down that road, defer for a year, till your sorted. Regardless, if you did decide to go back you would realistically need to work min 2 shifts a week, to pay the bills, in addition to a grant.

Anyway thats my advice! Once you have a basic job, and your situation is less despereate, you can look at what you want to do! Look on it as a ladder, and step up to the first rung.

If you want any more specific advice in private, feel free to PM me. And good luck!

X

Sleepy

Banks will give you student loans to help you pay for college if you've a friendly adult that will act as guarantor for you. If your parents aren't willing maybe a call to your godfather/godmother could be in order?

Cabaal

Worried wrote:

Right now I feel quite depressed and worried. I knew my parents were odd, but I never thought they'd resort to KICKING ME OUT OF THE HOUSE! They're my parents for christ's sake. I'm 18, have a few friends I might be able to stay with. Failing that I could move to my sisters house in the country but I just dont know.

Your 18 your not young your a adult, welcome to the real world
Also you must have done something in order for them to kick you out, what did you do?
Parents don't just kick there kids out of the house because there abit odd generally the kid did something really bad that pissed them off big time.

That or they needed a excersize room

koneko

When I was 18 I left my home and country, moved somewhere else and set up a life for myself. Don't get too down on this, it's not the end of the world, it's a new start. Stay with friends for now if you can, if you're starting college others gave some advice already, rent a room in a house later, if you're working talk to FAS do a course, get a job somewhere to tide you over while you figure out what you want to do.

Lex_Diamonds

Hey mate, I know what your going through, close friend of mine had the same happen to them, over the Junior Cert though. Anyway, PM because your welcome to stay in my house, rent free. I have a spare room etc and you can stay here till you get up on your feet. Consider the offer anyway, and best of luck!

Gordon

There's some really inspiring words here, and a very generous offer above.

This is the kind of thread that gives hope, the kind of thread that: even if it was a troll, it's a good thing that it exists.

Any feedback original poster?

RossFixxxed

Lex_Diamonds wrote:

Hey mate, I know what your going through, close friend of mine had the same happen to them, over the Junior Cert though. Anyway, PM because your welcome to stay in my house, rent free. I have a spare room etc and you can stay here till you get up on your feet. Consider the offer anyway, and best of luck!

Holy crap man. That's so great to see. Hats off.

Tellox

Without any background information,its quite hard to help, but I know what youre going through. A friend of mine is being kicked out of his home by his dad. The reason? "Because you lived with me for 18 years, thats more than enough". His dad also brought him up calling him ugly, worthless, not buying him gifts, and taking things which he spent his own hard-earned money on. He even took his new computer, which he bought for himself on his birthday, and tried to sell off his old one on ebay. Luckily, my friend found this computer. Formatted and ready to be pawned off, of course.

Said friend has gotton into manchester uni, and will luckily have somewhere to stay. Had he have not gotton into uni, I'd of course have dragged him over here and forced him to sit the leaving with me. When he informed his dad of his grades, all he replied with was; "Is that all?"

So trust me mate, although youre having a rough time of it, there are worse off. And there's worse off than the said person above, and worse off than that person..and so on and so forth.

Best advice I can give is to get yourself a good job, and a place to live, and refuse any handouts your parents may give you. As previously stated, being able to rub your own success in someone elses face after doubting you is one of the greatest feelings in the world. But as I already said, giving any concrete advice is impossible without any background information.

climaxer

Beruthiel wrote:

I was out on my own at 19
got a job
got a cheap dump to stay in
saved what I could
got a better place to stay
saved some money
did a fas course
got a better job, and from there things just got better and better
it will be difficult for you for some time, but you can do it!
chin up

Thats pretty much what I did too - only difference is I had a 2.5yr old when I left home. I did have my Mam behind me too - moved out because me and my stepdad were at each other's throats constantly. FAS courses are great too. Check out you're local FAS centre. Also go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau and check out all your rights. It will be hard at first but things will get better. Before you know it this will be a distant memory. Try stay strong and positive - I know its hard but it will pay off in the end.

Hope you're ok - remember we all go through those really tough times in our life and the up side is they make you stronger in the longrun.

Lex_Diamonds - fair play for such a nice offer. Not many people would do that.

The Corinthian

koneko wrote:

When I was 18 I left my home and country, moved somewhere else and set up a life for myself.

That’s because you Dutch have a long-standing tradition of leaving home with nothing more than a pair of wooden clogs and a few tulips and founding huge merchant trading empires

To the original poster, other than being frankly rather horrified by the behaviour of your parents in this matter, I cannot help but feel that you’ve left out some details. A bad leaving cert is a major disappointment to any parent, but to throw a son or daughter out of home over it is not a rational - and by that I mean clinically sane - thing to do.

So assuming your parents are sane, there’s something you’ve left out in your story, events or behaviour you’ve neglected to mention or glossed out, that would have lead to your results simply being the straw that broke the proverbial donkey’s back.