Men Faking It

alleepally

So a little number in the Observer magazine had me puzzled.

22% of British men have faked an Orgasm. (Source : Durex Report 2004)

My puzzling question : WHY FAKE IT? You'll be found out easy enough!

Answer the poll and if you've faked it lads, WHY and what circumstances?

Jim

Not to my knowledge?

alleepally

Jimeatsmenu wrote:

Not to my knowledge?

For the drunken fumblers in the audience

seamus

alleepally wrote:

Answer the poll and if you've faked it lads, WHY and what circumstances?

Because you're drunk and tired and/or about to get sick, and it sounded like a good idea when you started, but now you're just getting sore and floppy

alleepally

Crikey, I got an "uggh" comment from someone (or two) on this post and my reputation points gone down :mad:

Healio

Got the girl, eventually got her home, at it for ages (under the influence), Alcohol wore off, saw girls face, faked it, got rid of her as quick as possible.

elivsvonchiaing

Train enters tunnel and mysteriously jack-knifes!

This is the scenario I've been dreading. I've heard of it and I've have on occasion failed to become a train (this was due to serious booze intake). I have to admit - if the train -er- started to jacknife in the tunnel I probably would fake it

mycroft

Got the girl, eventually got her home, at it for ages (under the influence), Alcohol wore off, saw girls face, faked it, got rid of her as quick as possible.

Ladies and gentlemen a class act all round.................

Sleepy

Ex-girlfriend who was particularly proud of her "prowess". We'd been going for well over an hour and it was the fifth time that night, I was exhasusted so I just faked it, pulled off the condom, wrapped it in a tissue and she never knew any better.

I'd imagine, I did it for the same reason as most women do: so as not to upset my partner at the time.

VenusDiablo

Ive just looked at the poll results for this thread and im so surprised, its nearly 50/50. Being female ive always wondered how do you hide faking it???

quarryman

Sleepy wrote:

Ex-girlfriend who was particularly proud of her "prowess". We'd been going for well over an hour and it was the fifth time that night, I was exhasusted so I just faked it, pulled off the condom, wrapped it in a tissue and she never knew any better.

I'd imagine, I did it for the same reason as most women do: so as not to upset my partner at the time.

that's just disgraceful.

only 5 times?

][cEMAN**

Sleepy wrote:

Ex-girlfriend who was particularly proud of her "prowess". We'd been going for well over an hour and it was the fifth time that night.

Sounds like she might have been proud, but sounds like you're bragging

Yeah same reason - didn't wanna hurt partners feelings.

po0k

VenusDiablo wrote:

Ive just looked at the poll results for this thread and im so surprised, its nearly 50/50. Being female ive always wondered how do you hide faking it???

Because we inherited some of the sly deviousness from our mothers.
It's easy.

Tbh, if your sack is empty, you may climax, but there may be little or no ejaculate, though by that stage you're pretty flucked.

Also, if intercourse with your parnert du nuit feels as pointless as throwing a sausage up Shop St. then you may well just tense, 3-4 final thrusts and grunt/sigh a bit for added effect.
Then it's just a quick whip and into the bin.

A nice bit of snuggling and sleep soon follows.
The bump 'n grind is only half the job. The post-coital spooning, nipple-play and soft caresses of her body are the fun bit

Honestly, how many of you women actually check the condom afterwards?

Annasopra

So a little number in the Observer magazine had me puzzled.

22% of British men have faked an Orgasm. (Source : Durex Report 2004)

Could you psooibly provide a link to the source of this data

Thanks

Scruff

SyxPak wrote:

Tbh, if your sack is empty, you may climax, but there may be little or no ejaculate, though by that stage you're pretty flucked.
....
Honestly, how many of you women actually check the condom afterwards?

lol! a mental image of a bird yer just after shagging whipping off the rubber as soon as ye finished and pouring the contents into a volumetric flask for analysis before congradulating\chastising you just poped into my head
ahh.. it made me laugh anyway.

remember hearing a joke along the lines of:
how do ye fake an orgasm when yer doing yer bird doggy style?
Moan, pull out, pull off rubber and spit on her back!

AngryBadger

alleepally wrote:

So a little number in the Observer magazine had me puzzled.

22% of British men have faked an Orgasm. (Source : Durex Report 2004)

My puzzling question : WHY FAKE IT? You'll be found out easy enough!

Answer the poll and if you've faked it lads, WHY and what circumstances?

Kinds of makes you wonder what else you don't know about us devious menfolk >;)

Sleepy

' wrote:

[cEMAN**']Sounds like she might have been proud, but sounds like you're bragging

Yeah same reason - didn't wanna hurt partners feelings.

Sorry, I should rephrase that, it was the fifth time that day but it just happened to be at night. Twas a dirty weekend away with an ex. Not claiming to be any kind of energiser bunny...

Sleepy

VenusDiablo wrote:

Ive just looked at the poll results for this thread and im so surprised, its nearly 50/50. Being female ive always wondered how do you hide faking it???

The same way ye do, make some stupid noises roll over and hide the condom...

Zulu

Why fake it? Because you're tired, and you don't want to upset her. (ie: you want some in the morning )

It's not easy get caught, in fact it's damb near impossiable. - no woman I've been with has checked the condom afterwards!

BeatFreak

I've never actually faked it. But I could understand how a guy would if he had a few beers and was wearing a condom. It's not so much that she wouldn't know when he climaxed, more that condoms can really restrict feeling.
I've found on ocassion that I've run out of steam and I'm not really getting anywhere, so aslong as she's "happy" I might take the condom off and ask for some TLC so to speak.
But that's only because I'm comfortable with that and so is my girl friend. But some random guy on a one night stand with a really hot girl might not like to dissapoint her and fake it.

elexes

why fake it ? cause there was 5 terrorists on aztec waiting to have some fun and the cts only had 3 men so they were still a man down ...

somone had to join in or voide the match ...


twas a good game ..

she probably faked it 2 i dono .. tbh dont care much .

CuLT

Zulu wrote:

Why fake it? Because you're tired, and you don't want to upset her. (ie: you want some in the morning )

It's not easy get caught, in fact it's damb near impossiable. - no woman I've been with has checked the condom afterwards!

"Did you fill this up properly YOUNG MAN?!"

alleepally

Johnnymcg wrote:

Could you psooibly provide a link to the source of this data

Thanks

I read it in the magazine (print edition) and other than the source being Durex Report 2004 it doesn't give an online source. Maybe a google of "durex report 2004" would turn it up.

Ajnag

elexes wrote:

why fake it ? cause there was 5 terrorists on aztec waiting to have some fun and the cts only had 3 men so they were still a man down ...

somone had to join in or voide the match ...


twas a good game ..

she probably faked it 2 i dono .. tbh dont care much .

0\/\/|\|3|)

Prioritys, Prioritys.

ykt0di9url7bc3

well, whats worse, faking it or falling asleep in the middle of it....

which one would the girl spot first i wonder....

I worked a 16hr shift, I've had a couple of beers after closing...but she's in the mood...

elivsvonchiaing

The really worst story on this I have ever heard was from a guy I worked with (we'll just say this was the Pitt Cairn Islands) so he'll guess it's me if he reads this... (Dave you managed to shake off the mumps yet?) Anyhow - Yossarian - aw whats the point - y'know his name Dave now :-)) He came up told me a story about a mate of his - (just dunno if it happened to him or what - if it happened to me - i would not share it with my mates - if it didn't happen to him it's more likely it happened to a mate of a mate of his. Mate of Daves (original story) - gets sheit faced- picks up a bird - brings her home - wakes up with **** on his chest cos he fell asleep - aw hang-on maybe this is just an urban legend

I await j

po0k

Emerson Modern Rhinestone wrote:

well, whats worse, faking it or falling asleep in the middle of it....

which one would the girl spot first i wonder....

I worked a 16hr shift, I've had a couple of beers after closing...but she's in the mood...

== GAME ON

Sarn

Hmm interesting concept. 'twould avoid the 'do you not find me attractive (anymore)?' or 'is there somebody else?' conversation. Not to mention avoiding the discomfort of over 2 hrs worth of alcohol induced action.

tba

Scruff wrote:

lol! a mental image of a bird yer just after shagging whipping off the rubber as soon as ye finished and pouring the contents into a volumetric flask for analysis before congradulating\chastising you just poped into my head
ahh.. it made me laugh anyway.

laugh now!

Im sorry

Nuttzz

fake an orgasm? I have faked entire relationships

the_syco

Nuttzz wrote:

fake an orgasm? I have faked entire relationships

Women fake orgasms for relationships.
Men fake relationships for orgasms

sceptre

elivsvonchiaing wrote:

The really worst story on this I have ever heard was from a guy I worked with (we'll just say this was the Pitt Cairn Islands) so he'll guess it's me if he reads this... (Dave you managed to shake off the mumps yet?) Anyhow - Yossarian - aw whats the point - y'know his name Dave now :-)) He came up told me a story about a mate of his - (just dunno if it happened to him or what - if it happened to me - i would not share it with my mates - if it didn't happen to him it's more likely it happened to a mate of a mate of his. Mate of Daves (original story) - gets sheit faced- picks up a bird - brings her home - wakes up with **** on his chest cos he fell asleep - aw hang-on maybe this is just an urban legend

Urban legend I suspect. I've heard the same story from a guy who swore it happened to a mate of his. Unless it's the same chap.

munkeehaven

Women fake orgasms for relationships.
Men fake relationships for orgasms

but only women can do both -cha ching!

elivsvonchiaing

sceptre wrote:

Urban legend I suspect. I've heard the same story from a guy who swore it happened to a mate of his. Unless it's the same chap.

Suspected it - but if he was from around Leeds? Who knows!

elivsvonchiaing

the_syco wrote:

Women fake orgasms for relationships.
Men fake relationships for orgasms

Women: never suspected a thing
Me: Htf did they ever find out. Who shopped us in guys

Suaimhneach

Ye know, the thought of a guy faking it never really entered my mind...funny how that works.

Lainey

Jesjes wrote:

Ye know, the thought of a guy faking it never really entered my mind...funny how that works.

hehe.. likewise jesjes.. we so confident that never happen

Suaimhneach

Lol, that too I guess. But I ment it like, well....maybe thats what I was thinking.

I dunno. Just didnt think they'd have too.

Heh, I didn't mean it like that tho...

I guess, its just easier to make a guy climax than a woman, in my expericence anyway, so I never thought they'd have to like.

Zulu

Incrediably, women are as bad in bed as men.
Although - arguably, considering that you never considered your partner - worse!

Typedef

I've never 'faked' so much as quitely neglected to finish up if/when I just got bored bonking.

Suaimhneach

I'm shocked so many men Fake it, or get bored bonking.

I guess thats only fair, considering how many women do it.

Suprising none the less.

Zulu

Typedef wrote:

I've never 'faked' so much as quitely neglected to finish up if/when I just got bored bonking.

Well - ok, I didn't make a big scene, but I've let them believe otherwise.

munkeehaven

there are so many ways though to ensure that he need not fake it.....there's this really sensitive bit where all you have to do is........

Zulu

Dosen't matter what she does if she's fat and ugly




That's a joke for all you crazies out there.