Problem with girlfriend and anxiety

LegacyUser

Hi
Im a regualr poster so dont want to give my name out.Anyways my problem is that i have had acne now for the last number of years and still do to this present day.Met a very nice girl last december, still going out with her.I was amazed she asked me out cause of my acne problem.Anyways to cut it short over the last month or so i have been suffering from Anxiety due to my acne.Its starting to cause hassle with my girlfriend as she sees no problem with my skin.She recommended that i go see a doctor but havent had a chance yet.We are starting to have silly rows and shes a very social person and me due to the anxiety i feel i tend to just blend in the background.Im bringing her to paris next weekend for her birthday but dont want it ruined due to my anxiety im feeling.I know it may sound a bit stupid to some people but this really bugs me as im like 2 different people.On one hand im this outgoing, friendly, funny guy when i feel comfortable and on the other i feel like everyone notices my bad skin and just want to hide so i wont be noticed.Thankfully im the first with my girlfriend but i need to be able to feel comfortable all of the time and not just when im with her as ultimately this will harm our relationship and already we have had a few rows about it.Please help!!!

Sleepy

Paris will help. It's a magical kind of city that even got me to forget about lifes problems while I was there with an ex. She's commented more than once that if I was like I was in paris that we'd never have had any problems. My point is that Paris seems to bring out the best in people. You're obviously a step ahead of a lot of the idiots out there given that you knew to bring her to Paris in the first place. Relax, breathe and remember: you're Irish, not too many of us have the perfect skin you see in magazines (not even them in reality). Look around at some of the "beautiful people" in this country, more than likely fake tan and badly applied make-up are being used to cover their skin.

If you have serious worries with it (which you seem to), take your girlfriend's advice and go see a doctor. There's more than a few topics here discussing acne, suggested cures and how people here have responded to the various treatments.

Remember, she asked you out. That speaks volumes as to the fact that she likes you as you are, not a version of you with better skin.

gobby

Dont worry dude. Just try to forget about the acne. Once you can do that then the real you can take over. You will be fine. Enjoy Paris and make the most of it. You will have a blast!

Garz

Jesus man! Look, I can certainly see that this problem is effecting you and that you are suffering, but if that's the case, what the hell is it with your excuse for not seeing a Doctor? I don't mean to sound hard, but seriously man, you "haven't had a chance"??? Pick up the phone and make an appointment! Once you have an appointment you can take time off work/school/whatever. You don't have to tell everyone why you're seeing the Doc if you don't want to. There are great medical remedies for bad skin conditions these days, get it sorted and stop belly-aching or you WILL drive your girlfriend away.

AngryBadger

The acne isn't the problem here. It never was, and it never will be.

The problem here is confidence, the acne-anxiety is just a manifestation of that.

Fact 1 Your girlfriend is well into you

Fact 2 You are well into your girlfriend

Those are the only two things that should be relevant in your head. Anything else is periphery. If you're with her and you're feeling insecure, do soemthing that reminds how she feels about you, maybe a kiss, or whatever works for you. That way you're focusing on something that re-inforces the confidence you do have, and eventually you'll forget why you ever felt any different.

If you actually took a few monents in any social outing to have a look around you'd see that absolutely everyone else is wrestling with a similar anxiety, sometimes it's a weight issue,sometimes people think they're dorky, not athletic, whatever, the point is everyone has something that they feel makes them ill-fitting in social settings. The reality is, socialising can be difficult, and can be daunting, so we tend to worry about things that aren't that important as a means of excusing ourselves from ahving to get on with people.

If you feel the acne is really bothering you, you could see a doctor, personally I'd suggest looking at your diet, or if you're still in your teens i'd counsel patience, it really will work itself out.

AngryBadger

Garz wrote:

Jesus man! Look, I can certainly see that this problem is effecting you and that you are suffering, but if that's the case, what the hell is it with your excuse for not seeing a Doctor? I don't mean to sound hard, but seriously man, you "haven't had a chance"??? Pick up the phone and make an appointment! Once you have an appointment you can take time off work/school/whatever. You don't have to tell everyone why you're seeing the Doc if you don't want to. There are great medical remedies for bad skin conditions these days, get it sorted and stop belly-aching or you WILL drive your girlfriend away.

This doesn't help, try to reserve the aggro for the muppets eh?

Beruthiel

AngryBadger wrote:

This doesn't help, try to reserve the aggro for the muppets eh?

AB
please leave the moderating to the mods
thanks
B

cc007

Enjoy Paris mate .... Beautiful city
From what you say she obviously cares for you mate ....
As the saying goes, "it's what inside the person that counts...."

acous

Beruthiel wrote:

please leave the moderating to the mods

please leave teaching to the teachers

Sorry I just think that's a bit silly is all, he's just trying to calm the situation. I know some people believe that the "stop moaning and do something" approach works but I think AB was just trying to be sensitive to the original poster.

cc007: please leave excessive grinning to professional teeth models

:P

CathyMoran

Most women do not care - go to a doctor about your acne by all means but try and not let it worry you. I know that this is easier said than done - my brother found it hard when he was younger. Women are not so shallow. My dad suffered from cronic acne when he was younger and he was very popular with the ladies.

LegacyUser

Thanx for the replies so far.Im going to make an appointment to see my doctor as soon as i get a chance .I know to need to just cop on and beat this.Going to paris next week for 4 days is ideal therepy.And by the way im no teeny bopper im 26 and have had acne since i was 13.Had it really bad for a few years until roaccutane got rid of it initially and now my acne would be considered mild or none at all, depends really.I suppose im still wrestleing with all the bullying i got when i was younger cause i had bad acne so now i dont want to give any reason for someone to slag me off in a bad way.Dont get my wrong a bit of slagging is great but not when it obviosly hurts the other persons feelings.Just wanted to do something about it as a previous person said i dont want to drive my girlfriend away as she has been brillient throughout all this and sees the real me which is all that counts i suppose.Angrybadger thanx mate sound advice you gave.

kyodatsu

you poor thing ! acne can be horrible. my boyfriend has massive scars all over his back from acne - I don't care about them.

clearly your acne doesn't bother your girlfriend,which is a good thing.

its not acne that is the problem here, it is your confidence. getting bullied can leave emotional scars. you need to learn to stick up for yourself if you haven't already. if anybody slags you off about your appearance tell them to get ****** . please remember nobody is perfect looking.

you should go to the doctor and tell him how you are feeling and mention you were on roaccutane. this drug has been linked to depression so this could be a reason why you feel so bad about yourself.

you may have some acne but bear in mind things could be a lot worse - you could be missing a limb or something.

CathyMoran

Going into more detail as I feel it is warranted - my brother has had severe food allergies for years - I have never noticed because he is my brother but he used to have problems with girls - as I suspected all along it was his attitude to his allergies not his allergies that were causing the problem. He is still fussy as anything about women but they do crawl around him now as he does not care.

Typedef

Go to your GP, have him/her precribe Minocin.

If/when that doesn't work, ask him/her if he/she would refer you to a conslutant dermitologist.

When you get to the dermi, request he/she perscribe roaccutaine.

It works.
Just about everybody I know who still had acene over the age of 18, eventually took roacutaine as a 'permenant' cure.

Permenant works for me.