Need a little advice!

Baffled

Okay, heres the story.

Like this guy for about two years and I went home with him for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Nice quiet guy, extremely shy. Since then I cant stop thinkin about him. I think he likes me too because he couldnt stop starin over in the pub one night. I also saw him drive by my house. Now I know he may have had a genuine excuse but I live in a cul-de-sac.

Just need some opinions on whether to ask him out. Im kinda confused cos hes really really shy and theres the fear of rejection too.

briano

You're only young once.

Ask Him.

Good Luck!

Sleepy

Go for it. What's the worst that can happen? He says he's not interested, you move on. The best? You could stay together for years and end up married with kids etc. etc. etc.

Baffled

True but the problem is I dont know how to ask him. I know where he lives and works but I dont want to call to his door or call in to him in work. The only time I see him out is every few months. Any suggestions?

tk123

email/text/call him if you get knocked back so what - you said you only see him every now and again - it's not like you'd have to see him every day or anything....

grumpytrousers

you've seen him down the pub once, you'll see him down the pub again. probably....patience, dear, patience....

it's either that or start stalking him...altho' as you already know where he lives and works...:D

lisa.c

this is a situation where the beautiful world of text is most useful. text him and in the unlikely event that he says no at least your not to face to face with him and it would be less embarrassing for you. but chances are he likes you to and is probably just as shy and hasnt the nerve to ask you out...
go for it girl!!!

Sleepy

Well, if you see him driving past your house again walk outside and wave him down for a chat. If he's no other reason to be in your estate, chances are that he's driving by hoping to "bump into you"...

DrummerBoy

Baffled wrote:

Okay, heres the story.

Like this guy for about two years and I went home with him for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Nice quiet guy, extremely shy.

You've already gone home with the guy. Asking him out for a bite
to eat, drink, movie,picnic, walk, jog, moonlight strole one the beach, shopping! or anything like that should be a little bit easier. Just go for it :-)

LegacyUser

DrummerBoy wrote:

You've already gone home with the guy. Asking him out for a bite
to eat, drink, movie,picnic, walk, jog, moonlight strole one the beach, shopping! or anything like that should be a little bit easier. Just go for it :-)

What does "gone home with the guy" actually mean?.
Talking about texting/emailing the guy is a waste of time as I'm sure she hasn't got his email/phone number.

Sarky

Sleepy wrote:

Go for it. What's the worst that can happen?

You have watched Fear, right?

As a more serious reply, go ahead and ask him out or whatever it is you crazy kids do these days. Pondering it won't get you any further. Go do something about it now.

mrhappy42

"Regrets I've had a few, but then to few to mention..."
"I wrote him a letter, just a few short lines, and suffered death a thousand times..."
You could send an early christmas or valentines present...invite him to something..pretend your favourite band is playing and you where going with a friend who now cant make it and you have two tickets...etc. etc.

- You will look back on this and laugh....

"strangers in the night..."

DrummerBoy

guest_d16 wrote:

What does "gone home with the guy" actually mean?.
Talking about texting/emailing the guy is a waste of time as I'm sure she hasn't got his email/phone number.

I've actually taken that to mean somewhere between walking home with him and spending the night. Lets say it is just the walking home part, all that conversation to fill the space. Asking someone out after that should be a piece of cake!!

The Clown Man

Get his phone number and call him. If he's really shy then it'll probably be the best thing that's ever happened to him. And if he is as shy as you make out then he'll probably be twice as nervous as you are. If you are not so shy then you are the bear and he is the rabbit.* Ball's in your court.



* Couldn't resist the Swingers reference!

Baffled

What I mean when I say I went home with him is I slept with him. Do guys think twice about girls who sleep with them on the first night? Or is this a very general question?

Sleepy

It's a very general question. Some women that I've had one night stands with I'd love to have met again, others I'm glad I've never run into again... it depends. That said, there's nothing to be lost in asking the guy out. Worst case scenario is that he isn't interested and to my mind at least, that's closure if nothing else.

mrhappy42

Its not like you just picked him up either. You know him for years you said...so it was probably a natural next step. Guys make it very obvious if they dont want a repeat...staring at you in a bar is not one of them. I'd say you be fine....can you describe him some more or compare him to someone in a film or book...same with yourself.

Baffled

Describe him.... Ah, Ok as I said hes really shy. He's 10 years older than I am (Im 25, hes 35). When I saw him in the pub that night I spoke to him for about 10 minutes and he didnt make much eye contact. He didnt say much either. I dunno is that shyness/embarassment or what. But yet he initiated the conversation.

Me.... Im shy to a certain extent but not that shy. Would ask him out if I was definate about how he felt but im just scared he'll say no.

Beruthiel

Baffled wrote:

Me.... Im shy to a certain extent but not that shy. Would ask him out if I was definate about how he felt but im just scared he'll say no.

well, you're old enough to know you ain't gonna live forever

seize the day woman, the sky won't fall in!

gubby

Ohmygod!!!!
Am I the only one who thinks that she had sex with this man.... sex!!!!! one of the most intimate things that can happen between two people....
and NOW she want to know ................ what?
**** it you had sex with the guy.. maybe he just thinks your a tart.. sorry

whosurpaddy

Sleepy wrote:

Go for it. What's the worst that can happen?

you've obviously never seen a dr pepper advert.

gubby wrote:

Ohmygod!!!!
Am I the only one who thinks that she had sex with this man.... sex!!!!! one of the most intimate things that can happen between two people....
and NOW she want to know ................ what?
**** it you had sex with the guy.. maybe he just thinks your a tart.. sorry

:eek: :eek: :eek: omg i bet he saw her boobies too. quick burn her at the stake. grow up gubby, i know this is catholic ireland but its also 2004, people can and will do as they please. what harm is it to you?


to orig poster. as you already said you suspect he was driving into your cul de sac (probly) hoping for a chance meeting with you. make sure you give it to him next time.

gubby

omg i bet he saw her boobies too. quick burn her at the stake. grow up gubby, i know this is catholic ireland but its also 2004, people can and will do as they please. what harm is it to you?

I think your missing the point there kid.. Of course its not doing any harm to me whatsoever... it may do a lot of harm to her and him if they didnt use protection!!!
the point i was trying to make is that if you have sex with someone... surely be to god you should be able to have some kind of relationship with them.. I mean.. where do you go from sex? I am sorry if my remark offended the orignal poster.. it was uncalled for and I withdraw it completly.

whosurpaddy

gubby wrote:

omg i bet he saw her boobies too. quick burn her at the stake. grow up gubby, i know this is catholic ireland but its also 2004, people can and will do as they please. what harm is it to you?

I think your missing the point there kid.. Of course its not doing any harm to me whatsoever... it may do a lot of harm to her and him if they didnt use protection!!!
the point i was trying to make is that if you have sex with someone... surely be to god you should be able to have some kind of relationship with them.. I mean.. where do you go from sex? I am sorry if my remark offended the orignal poster.. it was uncalled for and I withdraw it completly.

thats hardly what you were sayin in you orig post, so its no surprise that i missed it. kid

Beruthiel

keep to the topic at hand please
B

whosurpaddy

sorry. i should know better.

mrhappy42

I think Gubby is partially right...how did you end up having sex and then not be able to have a simple chat. I wonder what happend the morning after, did you talk to each other? Did you agree to contact each other again?...you could always just mail him to link to this board.

grumpytrousers

mrhappy42 wrote:

I think Gubby is partially right...how did you end up having sex and then not be able to have a simple chat. I wonder what happend the morning after, did you talk to each other? Did you agree to contact each other again?...you could always just mail him to link to this board.

was there an awkward conversation at breakfast. i.e. with his parents (cf Trainspotting!)

mrhappy42

Or maybe no conversation happened...had that once...she had left and had to let myself out...needless to say I did not ring her.

chancer123

silly me, banned

tk123

mrhappy42 wrote:

Or maybe no conversation happened...had that once...she had left and had to let myself out...needless to say I did not ring her.

She left her own place!?!? :eek:

mrhappy42

went to work...left note to lock door...(it was student house...nothing to steal...you know college stuff).

tk123

That's still a bit mental thou!!! I'd never do that to a guy!

mrhappy42

Hey! 'I love you'....are you the mystery other half!

jesus_thats_gre

Whats the worst that could happen, he could say no.. Who gives a ****e what way you ask him or whatever, if he likes you he will say yes, if he does not he will say no.

Just get yourself some prime nuts and ask him.. Doh

AngryBadger

gubby wrote:

Ohmygod!!!!
Am I the only one who thinks that she had sex with this man.... sex!!!!! one of the most intimate things that can happen between two people....
and NOW she want to know ................ what?
**** it you had sex with the guy.. maybe he just thinks your a tart.. sorry

umm...actually we pretty much know that in fact she did have sex with him....yeah.....candidly put...yes...candidly