From today's Indo - Ronan Keating HARD MAN

Johnny Versace

Ronan Keating - the hardest man in pop

You have to love Ronan Keating. When he's not appearing on Irish television looking like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and saying "thank God" every 10 seconds, he turns up in English lads' mags trying to convince perfidious Albion that he is not, in fact, a former boy band singer but rather a dead-hard wide boy.

Take this month's FHM, for instance, where he offers us a unique insight into life on Planet Ro.

"I've been in lots of fights in pubs," says the former shoe salesman from Swords. "Just a few nights ago I was getting chips and this bloke started singing Life Is A Rollercoaster . . . So I said, come on then, let's go! One of his mates then squares up to one of my mates and it all kicks off. Bam! Then the police show up. It drives me mad because I want to get stuck in."

As if that wasn't hard enough, he then describes how: "I'd just got married in Vegas and we'd been drinking for two days. I saw Mike Tyson and I went over and said 'Michael Collins would kill you'. I meant Steve Collins . . . and with that I was dragged out by security, still shouting at him . . . So anyway, we're flying home the next day and there's Tyson asleep on a bench in the airport. I'm still pissed so I walk over and smack him in the face and run."

Ronan Keating, the man who smacked Mike Tyson in the face, is currently incapacitated after he was stung by a bee on his holidays.

...

Desperation makes people do tragic things...

mike65

Johnny Versace wrote:

fI saw Mike Tyson and I went over and said 'Michael Collins would kill you'. I meant Steve Collins . . . and with that I was dragged out by security, still shouting at him . . . So anyway, we're flying home the next day and there's Tyson asleep on a bench in the airport. I'm still pissed so I walk over and smack him in the face and run."
.

Desperation makes people do tragic things...

ROFL! I can only hope he is seeing how much sh1te he can spout while getting away with it.

Mike.

damnyanks

Heh stuck in

Kazu

Bo Selecta should have him on this show another piss bag mupppet shamone

HerrLipp

shamone

Yes do, lap it up lap it up. "I'm bo-selecta and this is my piss-take of Ronan Keating: 'Shamone'. That is all. Buy my dvds".

rymus

per'aps he's still quite delirious from all the drugs he's on in hospital?

BuffyBot

Or perhaps he's still a big gob****e and seems intent on staying that way

CuLT

rofl, smacked him in the face.

alleepally

I saw Bo Selecta for the first time a few weeks ago . Shame on me. One of the funniest programs I've seen in a long time.

As for Ronan. Yep, life is a roller coaster alright RO. Why not do the decent thing and call it a day and join Emmerdale or Fair City or something other than music.

tk123

***note to self - get some bees***

Agent Smith

just read the article in fhm, what's he trying to prove, how much of a tough man he is?

Big Ears

agent smith wrote:

just read the article in fhm, what's he trying to prove, how much of a tough man he is?

no how much bull**** he can come out with .

flogen

Mama always told me not to look ex-Boyband members in the eyes, especially the ones that do duets with Leanne Rhymes, and sing about love a lot... its just asking for trouble.

I'm sure Tyson learnt his lesson alright, he wont be sleeping in airports anymore, for fear of a slap-attack from Ronan... oh the horror.

/me rings Don King and suggest another comeback for Tyson against Ronan... ahh... the blood and joy

flogen

Big Ears

flogen wrote:

Mama always told me not to look ex-Boyband members in the eyes, especially the ones that do duets with Leanne Rhymes, and sing about love a lot... its just asking for trouble.

I'm sure Tyson learnt his lesson alright, he wont be sleeping in airports anymore, for fear of a slap-attack from Ronan... oh the horror.

/me rings Don King and suggest another comeback for Tyson against Ronan... ahh... the blood and joy

flogen

The Sun's headline the next day : Keating sensationally knockes out Tyson .

and then Ronan wakes up from the coma to find out tyson damaged his lung and he will never sing again .

gobby

Big Ears wrote:

The Sun's headline the next day : Keating sensationally knockes out Tyson .

and then Ronan wakes up from the coma to find out tyson damaged his lung and he will never sing again .

Whhhaatttt! But I just love his heart felt melodies and his slightly American accented singing voice! :rolleyes:

Sleepy

What is it with Bo Selecta that I don't get? It's just not funny...

karlh

it's the ONLY show on tv that can make me cry with laughter....it's perfect!

i heard Ro was going blind at one stage? has he recovered or what? I'm disappointed....

Deadwing

karlh wrote:

it's the ONLY show on tv that can make me cry with laughter....it's perfect!

i heard Ro was going blind at one stage? has he recovered or what? I'm disappointed....

Nah, its masturbation that makes you go blind...sadly being a sad little twat desperatly trying to revitalise your flagging career has no such side effects.

Lmao...Ronan Keating slapping mike tyson..i can picture it now...
*keating prances up to tyson*
Ohhhh!!! Michael collins would just KILL you! Oh im just teasing you big meanie!! *little girly love tap on tysons shoulder* Where did you get that facial tattoo it is just super!! Well gotta dash hun, im playing the G.A.Y club in london, ciao babes!
:rolleyes:

lee_baby_simms

Hard as nails.

munkeehaven

oh dear, i remember fancying him a bit as a wee 8 or 9 year old back in the day, when he was a teen, and i thought teenage boys were gods as a little girl.

Cabaal

karlh wrote:

it's the ONLY show on tv that can make me cry with laughter....it's perfect!

i heard Ro was going blind at one stage? has he recovered or what? I'm disappointed....

ah yes perfectly a heap of ****e....

Sarky

Johnny Versace wrote:

You have to love Ronan Keating.

Why, precisely?

McFairyland

why do all Irish people have something against Ronan?? He's the only successful boyband member to ever come out of here...and the UK next to that wanker Robbie Williams!!

magpie

Speaking of Bo Selecta I saw Mary Harney on the news last night. I defy anyone to tell her apart from a Bo Selecta face mask.

Lex_Diamonds

McFairyland wrote:

why do all Irish people have something against Ronan?? He's the only successful boyband member to ever come out of here...and the UK next to that wanker Robbie Williams!!

There always has to be one...

penguinbloke

There always has to be one...

in fairness it did take 4 months

Don't know about you lot, But I'd be FAR too terrified to give Ronan a smack now *knee-trembling*



** Not really