How far should i go?

LegacyUser

Basically i was at a party a few nights ago, and a girl (who i didnt know) came up to me and recognised me from 13 years ago, in Senior Infants. So we were talking for a while on and off throughout the night, and i walked her most of the way home.

The thing is i never asked her for her number, what with me being terrible at these things.

How far should i go to try and get it. Bear in mind that i'm usually wrong in all these emotional things. I've already asked the guy who'se party it was, 2 friends of mine, and a girl i thought would have her number, but doesnt.

Should i just leave it and wait for fate? I don't want to appear as some kind of crazy stalker guy...

Sleepy

If you know people who know her better than you there's always the chance of giving your number to them and asking them to pass it on to her

iMax

She remembered you from senior infants ?

I can't even remember people I met last year

LegacyUser

Well, i don't know anyone that knows her well, so that ideas down the chute. I was hoping to invite her to a party tonight, but obviously thats not gonna happen.

My real concern is that if i keep pushing to get her number it'll seem really wierd, and i don't want that to happen. What do you people think about that? Would it be wierd?

I do like her, dead sexy , but i'm not 100% sure what she thinks of me, in any context. If i knew for sure she liked me a lot, then i'd definately persue my quest to find her number, but since i'm not sure, i don't think i should. Argh! WHY DIDN'T I ASK HER WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!

embee

iMax wrote:

She remembered you from senior infants ?

I can't even remember people I met last year

Are you on drugs?

cormie

Unsure_Guy wrote:

Well, i don't know anyone that knows her well, so that ideas down the chute. I was hoping to invite her to a party tonight, but obviously thats not gonna happen.

Can I come?



Not asking for her number has a kind of retro romance appeal. If you see her within the next week it would be better not to have gotten her number. But that's IF you see her. It would have been handy to have given that you may not see her again.

Delphi91

You said that you walked her most of the way home - does that mean that you know where she lives???

If so, then why not call around?

I know, not exactly the easiest thing to do, but hey, any port in a storm, etc, etc.

Mike

tk123

what about mailing her? You know when you get a mail forwarded to you and there's a bunch of names - maybe her names been there but you didn't know it!!

peckerhead

Unsure guy,

Call 'round to the house and ask her out, FFS. Whaddya gonna lose? Make it something "safe", like a gig where there'll be lotsa people you both know (good 4U, too!)

DON'T get pissed that night, act like a real gentleman, walk her safely to her front gate and (especially if she's a bit merry!) I guarantee you she'll ate the face off you. Resist the temptation, send her in home — and then move in for the kill next time... (evil cackle...)

Typedef

My honest advice would be to drop it.

Tense situations are best avoided, when it comes to women. You didn't ask for her number at the time 'for a reason'.

That reason was that the general vibe between the two of you didn't allow you to go that far.

Now you're kicking yourself for what might have been... but, I think, that calling around to her house would frame you as a stalker/bunny boiler in her head and ultimately, the same non-vibe that didn't result in her phone number being a goer the 'other' night. Calling around to her house makes you seem desperate. That's a turn off for women. Sure, if you happen to bump into her again, then maybe ask, but, persuing women head long, might occasionally get them into the sack, but 'never' gets them wild about you. The only way to do that, is to completely ignore them/treat them mean... which is a fortunate conincidence... since treating women mean, is in fact a man's basic instinct... it's just society has us so pussy whipped, that frequently, we ignore this, very wisened instinct.

Live and let die, and all that sutff old boy.

Johnny Versace

As Typedef says... forget about it.

You'll seem like the desperate stalker type if you try to contact her.

There are plenty of women out there - you don't actually like her as much as you think you do. In a month you won't give a ****... trust me!!

Stop worrying and move on...

Good luck.

Tusky

if he calls around and she thinks hes a crazy stalker type and says no....well he hasnt actually lost anything hes just back to square one. Why not give it a go ? Although I probly wouldnt be able to call around look up her house number in the phone book ?

Lainey

if you know her name then look up phone book and give her families house phone a ring maybe.. i don't think thats stalkerish.. if she says no, then you know where you stand.. go for it.. prob be 13 more years before you see her

cormie

Has anyone seen "big fish" that dedication got him a loving wife.

I say go for it.

All that modern day crapology about stalker blahdy blah, I hate it. If you like a girl and there is a chance she likes you.. go for it!

Typedef

How many of the people advocating he ... calls round to her house but... isn't stalking her in this manner have girlfriends? Be honest ...

He does have something to loose by calling round to her.

If she politely, says no, then he'll be diminished in front of a girl he's known for years.

It's not quite the same as trying to grope some tarts arse in a nightclub.

Error, high tension situation.

If you feel absolutely compelled to make further contact, then ring her, and if she's not agreeable, then leave it.

My reflex though would be not even to ring or if you do... just "tell her" she "has" to go out and meet up with you and accept no argument on the matter.

If you put her in control, that'll trigger various conditioned responses in the female brain, which will have one of those friendly we're just friends chat landed on you with impenuity.

Slap the harlot's arse....

Where was I?

aidan_walsh

He does have something to loose by calling round to her.

If she politely, says no, then he'll be diminished in front of a girl he's known for years.

Lets re-read the original post, shall we?

and a girl (who i didnt know) came up to me

My reflex though would be not even to ring or if you do... just "tell her" she "has" to go out and meet up with you and accept no argument on the matter.

Actually, here I agree... But don't phone, instead find out where she lives and turn up on her doorstep dressed in your finest and demand that she be ready to go within 20 minutes. Then strut inside and help your self to a tea/coffee/can from the fridge while you wait.

Now, where did I put that wine?

Lainey

i certainly wouldnt' like someone to call round.. i'd rather he rang, that way i can make my excuse ( if i wanted too) and hide my red face.. and i would def never call around.. god bless the mobile phone and texting...( be cursing it after a drunken weekend)

cormie

would it not be more stalkery to look througha phone book for her ringing up all the "murphys" or whatever? If you know where she lives, call round or pop in a letter;)

Typedef

A girl who is a thirteen year old acquaintance.


/ (c) Posting short potentially aggressive replies since 1am.

mayordenis

what are you on about, anyone who says he shouldnt try and find her is simply wrong. you never know this could be the best thing you ever do in your life, and there is absolutely nothing worse than tose what if situations. GO FOR IT!!!

Typedef

cormie wrote:

would it not be more stalkery to look througha phone book for her ringing up all the "murphys" or whatever? If you know where she lives, call round or pop in a letter;)

Only if you make breather phone calls.

else, you could tell it as a story to appear sweet an vulnerable.

However if he does ring... and uses language like.

"Right, we have to meet up and do (x), no excuses", it'll almost certainly work.

Ring up and be a whinge "I really like you (blank)' tearfully and he/you/one seems like god's gift to plonkers.

There may be the odd chick out there on a mission to mammy such people, but, by and large that is 'not' the case.

Get a number, inform her of your alloted date time or perferably forget about her.

No such blasts from the past are best confined to the "could have been, should have been, would have been, weren't" category. Sure she 'might' be the one, but, then again, if she's not, the humiliation factor in calling to the house is 'large' and probably not worth it.

That said, if you don't mind taking the risk of rejection, by all means call around.

If you do call to her place, you have to have convinced yourself that she is yours for the taking.

Acutally 'believe' that and it becomes true, since the confidence you exude will be highly attractive to her.

Bear your soul and she'll surely slap you down.

If she does that... try to get her sister's number

Or possibly her mother... perferably both!

*grin*

mayordenis

Typedef wrote:

No such blasts from the past are best confined to the "could have been, should have been, would have been, weren't" category. Sure she 'might' be the one, but, then again, if she's not, the humiliation factor in calling to the house is 'large' and probably not worth it.

its hardly humiliating.

LegacyUser

I really don't feel up to calling down to her house (even though i could easily find out exactly where it is, i know her area, and her second name). To be perfectly honest, if i can't get her number (which is turning out to be quite unlikely), then i'll probably end up dropping the whole thing and just hoping we see each other again later. Possible, but unlikely.

Typedef

I think you're right not to listen to the stalkers on PI.

"Go to her house, with a guitar in the nude and put a rose between your teeth... seranade her from below her window... what's the worst that could happen.... she could be the one... " etc.

pretty-in-pink

Unsure_Guy wrote:

I really don't feel up to calling down to her house (even though i could easily find out exactly where it is, i know her area, and her second name). To be perfectly honest, if i can't get her number (which is turning out to be quite unlikely), then i'll probably end up dropping the whole thing and just hoping we see each other again later. Possible, but unlikely.

If its meant to be you will find eachother.........you gotta trust that. Karmology, Fate, PreDestination, Serendipity what ever you wanna call it......dont go looking her up. Give it a week or two and see what happens. Dont go rushing things. As the songs says "only fools rush in"

But best of luck with it.........and its also true (mores the pity)that treating us mean keeps us keen. Twould explain why so many girls say "my boyfriend/lover/hubby is such an ass...........but i love him so much and I know he loves me too". Heck I'm one of those girls......have always been really.

yeah one more phrase....."nice guys finish last". Be kinda pushy and dominant but dont go dragging her around by the hair randomly bashing her with a club while you find a "suitable" spot to copulate. Possibly with morning after cider breath and puke stains............mmmmm attractive. NOT

Do you wanna get in her pants or form a relationship?

Careful whatever ya do.......an old old acquaintence(or however you spell it) (drunkenly)declared his undying love for me......it was near obcessive.....thats scary stuff and will have any girl even if she like you run for the hills. now if your dating 6 months you can say "you know what sweetie, ever since i saw you in that cute little outfit when we were six Ive wanted to be with you" or save it as a wedding day comment "you know ever since i first saw my beautiful wife in that cute little outfit when we were six Ive known that she would be my life partner, and shes bee worth every minute of the wait"

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww bless....now pass me a bucket....

Beruthiel

naughty_girl wrote:

If its meant to be you will find eachother.........you gotta trust that. Karmology, Fate, PreDestination, Serendipity what ever you wanna call

But best of luck with it.........and its also true (mores the pity)that treating us mean keeps us keen. Twould explain why so many girls say "my boyfriend/lover/hubby is such an ass...........but i love him so much and I know he loves me too". Heck I'm one of those girls......have always been really

I completely disagree with all of the above
You make your own fate imo,
if you want something badly enough then you go get it, sitting back and waiting while your life ticks on by is just foolish. It all just depends on how much you want it.

Also, any woman with an ounze of respect for herself does not put up with a bloke who treats her 'mean' as you put it, I know I certainly wouldn't and if any woman does, then she deserves what she gets.

SheroN

I agree with Beruthiel, contact her don't or contact her, just don't make a big ****ing deal out of it and get all stressed over it.

irlirishkev

I completely disagree with all of the above
You make your own fate..

Absoloutely. You gotta make it happen. Nothing ventured nothing gained etc. etc.. Too many times in this life do we look back and think 'I shoulda done this' or 'I shoulda done that'.. don't let this be one of those times. Make the most of the moment, don't be left wondering - Go for it.

Kev.

LegacyUser

QUOTE: A girl who is a thirteen year old acquaintance. UNQUOTE

Not technically true, more's the pity. If it were true, you'd think i'd have not only her mobile number, but her home number and the number of her parents too . I saw her for the FIRST time in 13 years last week. The last time i saw her was in Senior Infants .

As for serending in the nip, sounds good, but my hairy ass mightn't prove to be the best way to win her heart .

I'll see what happens in the next week or so. Hell, i'm due some time off from work. I might wander around her estate for a while, you never know who might see me

This isn't my first time blowing a chance like this. I've done it before, in situations when the girl was mouthing "i love you" to me, and i just sh***ed myself, and made some feeble excuse and legged it. Needless to say it didn't go down to well with her... And a while ago (not to long) i asked a friend out, who i thought was interested in me, and was shot down in the worst way . We're still friends though, but i kinda didn't see her for 2-3 weeks afterwards

In other words, i'm hopeless at this love game.

CathyMoran

How about googling her - sending a mail might be less intimidating...you could try the line about school which is a friendly way of getting to know her in a non-stalker way? Also, there are plenty if web sites where school friends meet... I believe that you will regret it if you do not at least try to contact her.

Typedef

Cathy is probably right, and you never know that chick might be the mother of your children.


It's quite true that 'true love' exists.

I mean sure, there may be people starving, diseased and living under the heel of ruthless dictatorships around the world, but, there are also people who have jobs like "communication co-ordinator" or "canine fecal cleanliness officer (makes sure you pick up your dog's crap)"... so with crazy disparity like that in the world... it's probably statistically possible for 'lucky' people (assuming the western world) to find classic love scenario (x), while 'others... in distant non-countries' are being sold into slavery, forced into prostitution, becoming Singapore's transexual ladymen.

It is after all... diverse out there.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice, but it all went pear shaped.

I was at another party last night, and lo and behold, she was there. But she was blanking me it seemed. Could have been that someone i texted trying to get her number was talking to her and gave her the wrong impression (stalkerish) or she was only talking to me the last time because i was the only one she knew (and she didn't even know me that well).

Needless to say, i was fairly bummed out.