What do you think?? Advice needed.

LegacyUser

Hi all...
I'm just wondering what you all think... I'm seeing this guy (for the past 8 months, we're both in our 30's) and thought we were getting on really well. The other day, I used his laptop to check my mail (he set it up for me etc. so definitely knew I was using it!) and saved in the favourites was this site adultfriends.com. I checked it out (given the name) and found that it's site for people looking for "adult" friends for sex, to explore fantasy, bondage etc. and has an Irish section. Not sure what to think.

Thoughts?

Beruthiel

if you need to know something, why not just ask him?

perhaps it was there before you met him, if this is the case, then imo it is his business and nothing to do with you

Zulu

When visiting porn/adult sites, some populate your favourites automatically. (...so I've been told )
Perhaps this is what happened.

Sleepy

Ask him about it. He knows that you use the PC so it's not like he can accuse you of going through his private stuff...

midget lord

ask him about it. we could all come up with theories, only he knows the answer.

Stark

Yes, it's more likely there by accident. It sounds like the type of site which would arrive in a popup and then install itself in your favourites without your permission (and worse probably, run a spyware checker).

GuanYin

Originally posted by Guest_Girl
What do you think?? ?

I think you shouldn't be nosey and go through other peoples files to begin with.

Originally posted by Guest_Girl
Advice needed.

The fact that you dont feel comfortable enough to be honest and ask him, but feel free to post to alot of strangers shows how well this relationship is going.


Do you notice the parallells between this and his website?


Go ask him if you have issues.

Sinner_Rez

Oh man, this is the reason why letting other people use your lappy is such a bad idea. Personally I neve let anyone use my laptop. I have loads of personal emails and documents and photos and stuff on it and I just don't like the idea of someone poking around that stuff.

If you have been together for 8 months, and it showed up in his favourites then its something you need to talk to him about. Don't get offensive about it and if he gets defensive don't pepper him with questions. Leave him be. If he knows you know then he will eventually come out and say something about it. MAybe he is secretly into bondage or something but is too embarressed to say anything about it.

Maybe its a mistake. Maybe it was a mate messing around. But what ever happens if you bother him about it repeatedly then he'll clam up. This type of thing happens all the time.

Or even better why not go out and buy some handcuffs and a blindfold and see how he reacts to that. You never know, he might just need a little encouragement.

OLDYELLAR

sure just ask him , maybe he wanted you to find it , so you could get some ideas off it , bit weird he let you using it with that on there unless he wanted you to see it .

Nuttzz

click on history to see when he was last on the site (assuming it isnt cleared daily), the link might be there longer than eight months. Plenty of sites change your IE settings including setting the home page or adding fav's. Innocent until proven guilty and all that....

CathyMoran

It was probably just a pop-up - but I would ask him...if you do not feel any other reason to be suspicious then it is probably fine...(from experience)...

The Corinthian

I think he’s going to leave you for someone more adventurous in bed.

Seriously though, ask him. Better still; suggest to him that you both go shopping in an adult shop this weekend.

Silent Grape

sorry to be off topic, but whats a spyware checker?

it keeps popping up on my computer and cant be gotton rid of

The_Conductor

Silent Grape- the box that keeps popping up advertising a "spyware checker" is a subtle form of "pop-up advertising", and nothing to get worried about. You can block popups with your security settings. Alternatively any of a number of free "spyware blockers" will banish your problem- do a google on "free spyware blocker" the one a lot of us use is "Ad-aware".

Re: Advice needed-

Speaking 100% honestly- how many guys (and loads of girls) couldn't hand over heart claim to never to have downloaded or viewed (delibertly or inadvertantly) pornographic material? By that I mean pictures, literature, movie clips, streamed content, or even the odd risque website? Precious few I imagine.

There are even international websites with adult themes (I'll leave the rest to your imagination) openly advertising from time to time on Dublin radio stations.

While it is entirely possible that your partner was inadvertantly dumped on the page in question (I have to clean out favourites every so often, I have a rake of stuff that magically appears from no-where, and also- will happily attest to browsing a relatively mild site- closing the window and having upwards of 20 windows offering all manners of porn and gambling mysteriously vie with eachother on my desktop for my attention.

Its the internet, its life, its not "real life", and if anyone seriously heeded the warnings about personal information and psychopaths on the net- there would be no-one tapping on their keyboards anymore.

Even if your partner went to the site in question, delibertly or otherwise, so what? If he were to actively seek to meet people in person as opposed to chatting to people over the net- that would be an entirely different matter.

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Shane

Stark

Oh and switch to Mozilla Firefox , it is so much better than Internet Explorer and you don't have to worry about popups or stuff installing itself in your favourites or anything while you're using it

Interceptor

Give us his nicknames and some personal details and we'll log onto adultfiends.com promising to be big-breasted lonely housewives from Blanchardstown with strap-ons and gimp-masks - oh we'll soon flush him out and report straight back to you GG. Do you know where he is every minute of the day? Check his pockets, his mobile bill and under the seats of his car.... Mistake/pop-up me a*se. Men is all dogs...

'ceptr

The_Conductor

Wahooo!- the baseball bat brigade....
Apart from the fact that it would be great fun to stand on the sidelines and watch- have you noticed that the website you just mentioned is actually advertising here on boards?

I'm more than willing to give the benefit of the doubt.
All the "proof" is purely circumstantial- and anyone who knows MSIE (or swiss cheese) knows how entirely possible it is that the whole scenario is accidental.

Good advice re: Firefox- www.mozilla.org, download yourself a nice browser that actually works! Its 12Mb for the Windows version..... no excuse.

S.

Stark

Firefox is only 4.78MB. (Mozilla itself is the full suite including browser, e-mail etc.).