For every good blog.....

Blitzkrieger

I'm feeling narky today so I'm going to take the piss.

I've been reading a lot of web logs recently and you would not believe the crap people post! I can accept the amount of advertisers and absolute con men trying to disguise the fact that they are trying to sell you something, but it's very rare to come accross a blog that's actually interesting. I've been considering starting a blog myself (if I every get around to chasing down my still unactivated boards member account) and no doubt it'll be full of the mundane and moronic, but these people take it to a whole new level :

Orginally posted on cyber-gish.com
Thea's alarm goes off this morning at six o'clock because she has to work an early day shift, and what does she do? She rolls over and shakes me violently, saying that I have to get up. Come on now, wake up you.

Alright, alright.
I meander downstairs to have breakfast reading the morning paper, and then my wristwatch alarm goes off (at the usual time of six fifteen) and I think: what?! How is this possible? Beep, beep, beep. I am really confused how this possibly could be happening, like time shifting randomly all over the place. One second you are here and the next second you are over there. Until that is, I am standing in the shower roughly fifteen minutes later.

(Notice how many of the time slots interestingly enough seem to be split into fifteen minute intervals).

Thea dashes in the bathroom with the mirrors all steamed up, and she asks grumpily why I let her over sleep, it is so late -- now she has to rush to work...

All of a sudden I get it.

I tell her that her alarm has gone off at the right time, but rather than getting up herself she was so dreamily confused that she thought it was my alarm.

(By the by, Thea's and my alarm clocks sound completely different, but you know how distorted external sounds can sound in dreams).

She could not even remember it so it was hard to convince her that that had really happened. To think that I could have slept a quarter of an hour more and feel that much more relaxed.

Rather than getting mad (my wife is always afraid that I might get mad), I jokingly say that the next time I will get up at five o'clock in the morning in order to make her feel better and make sure I would wake her up in time.

She was glad and/or relieved (and even laughed) that I could take things in stride and not get all worked up about it. No use now getting all irate about nothing, is there?

What does the guy want? A ****ing medal? He didn't get mad about waking up a measly 15 minutes early. Even if the guy's a raving ****ing loony who loses his rag at the drop of a hat, it's harldy an achievement by which the remaining endeavors of mankind will be judged. To be honest I'd be congratulating the guy on not falling down more.

If I was his wife I'd be seriously pissed off about the twit letting me sleep late.

And was it really neccessary to hear all about the guy's breakfast, paper and shower? "Man wakes up early, lets wife sleep late cos he's the memory of a goldfish. The end."


Somebody posted a comment on this blog, while the guy was reading the poster's blog and he had this to say :

Orginally posted on cyber-gish.comThis is too weird. I was just now looking around your blog, and then I receive an email notification that someone has added a comment on my blog. So I am very curious and have a look. You'll never guess who it was: YOU. Maybe there really is something like telepathy.

ODSG! Telepathy? Coincidence and email. [Dr. Cox impression]Say it with me now, Barbara. Eeeemayyyyillll.[/Dr. Cox impression].



Lets meet the rest of the muppets on our show tonight :

Orginally posted on cyber-gish.com
Believe it or not, you can look twenty years younger within five days. The question though is the following: is that really what you want?

I was seriously considering taking advantage of this unique offer which I discovered quite by accident in my email in-box. Their many claims that years of scientific research had resulted in this amazing breakthrough seemed convincing enough for me. And then of course the before-and-after pictures were beyond belief.

To top it all off, this offer was absolutely free, and with a money-back guarantee!

However, upon closer introspection I realized that perhaps this looking twenty-years younger thing would not be the best approach for me. I wasn't that old now was I?

I could see it before my eyes.

This guy would walk into work and everyone would look at him in complete amazement. This guy would be me. The kind fellow colleagues would raise their heads, look in my direction and wonder to themselves and out loud: Who is this kid?

Looking younger is not all of what it's cut out to be.

What an act! A complete lack of point there! And he seiously believes that (A) : It would work. (B) : Is completely free and not a scam at all (free.....with a money-back guarantee) (C) : He's qualified to give advice about the benefits of looking younger.


Our first muppet back again :

Orginally posted on cyber-gish.com
One might say that my specialty is this: "coming in, making sense of things, cleaning up the mess, getting it all up and running again, and finally getting out of there -- all in a wink of the eye."

Hello, goodbye, here you go, see you later...

Actually, that pretty much explains my current assignment. Yes, I indeed got the stint after convincing them enough with my (much less than infinite) knowledge and nice-guy type attitude, that I have been hired for 1 month or more (I hope). A telecom company is having technical problems with a mobile service they are developing and they required someone to come in, make sense of things, clean up the mess, (see above), etc.

So I am pretty pleased about it. In fact, very very pleased, feeling refreshed and invigorated after my first week there. Even if it is pretty technical stuff (which by the way I can handle) and I am the pseudo- old fart guy surrounded by a bunch of computer whiz-kids under 30 years, I am having a fine time of it.

Make the best and continue, young man. And go for it.

Yup, the polls are in............Nobody cares! FFS post something interesting or nothing at all. I bet he thinks that'd be inspiring.


Get off the stage already :

Orginally posted on cyber-gish.com
In one way I feel kind of funny using his bike, but then again maybe I should view it as an honor. Kind of like I am carrying on his spirit, although he passed away more than a year ago.

This was his so-called "new" bike which was more than forty-five years old, and while he was alive he took great care in keeping it shiny and in shape.

Now that my bike was stolen last week and I need some form of transportation to get me to the train station and back, his bike becomes a symbolic time saver exactly at the right moment you might say.

Those carry bags on the back of the bike were faded and bleached by decennia of sunlight, and when I first loosened the metal latches and opened them up, it smelled like world war two. As if I had discovered an ancient sarcophagus, opened the lid and got a whiff of two thousand year old air and dust.

So come Monday I will proudly use his bike, carry his spirit with me, knowing that his life was good for more things than one at first realizes.

This sort of thing I'd be tolerant of. Again, no one cares, but it's the sort of sentimental bull**** that people put in blog.


He reminds me of a blog I read a few years back by some old moron. The gist of one entry was :

Tech support put the guy on hold while he went and had his lunch....for an hour. The tech guy comes back,tells the old guy (still on hold) so the old guy puts the tech on hold goes and has his lunch. The old guy relates with satisfaction how enjoyable his lunch was and how he got his own back on the tech support guy.

From the tech's point of view - the calls never stop so if he doesn't go get his lunch on time he probably won't get a break. He probably put the guy back into the queue but nobody got around to answering it. When the old guy put him on hold, he either went on another call or got paid to sit around and do nothing until he came back.

The old guy's such a moron. What's he doing calling at lunch time in the first place? Why would anyone wait on hold for an hour? Why would he think that paying for a two hour+ phone call (probably premium rate) while the participants had individual lunches would harm the tech support guy in any way? Muppet :rolleyes:

Dr. Loon

Your post is just as boring as the blogs you speak of. Who cares?!? Exactly. Do you really give a shít?

Paladin

Irony - Kind of like goldeny and silvery except more amusing.

BuffyBot

Go get a blog, post it there!

whosurpaddy

Originally posted by Paladin
Irony - Kind of like goldeny and silvery except more amusing.

highlight of the thread so far!

billy the squid

It reads like the first entry to a blog. Let me know when you have started your blog i would be interested in reading it.

as for what I think of your opinion of my blog should you happen to read it, i dont care. and i doubt the person whose blog you were reading cares what you think either.

Blitzkrieger

Apathy is on the rise - no one cares!

Aye, I was feeling pissed off and wanted to take the piss out of someone. Anon strangers to anon strangers is always a safe bet

I still stand by my point though; if it's not interesting, don't post it. God knows there's enough crap out there already.

I have a problem with people who set up blogs, because sometimes it just seems to me the some people are just writing to an audience and are craving attention. They post intimate details of their life, about themselves and others, just to get hits. It seems kinda wrong to me. Having said that, there are some brilliant blogs out their, by people who are nothing like that.