i need him back thread

LegacyUser

ok, here it goes...
i was shifting a guy( a friend of mine), but he went away for a week.It wasnt serious, he told me he really liked me, i said it back to him.I really, really like him, but i got drunk last weekend and i snogged a friend of his.I thought id come clean and tell him, and now hes not speaking 2 me.I know drink is no excuse, but i really like this guy, and i wouldnt want to talk to me either, but we wernt serious (well, i didnt think so).im really gutted bout wot iv done.i cant eat, i cant sleep, and every time i think about him i cry.pleas help me sort this mess out, hes a really great guy and i dont want ot loose him as a friend.

Beruthiel

looking at it from his point of view

if you really, really liked him, why did you shift his friend?

uberwolf

ok so you weren't 'commited' or what have you so he has no right to complaint if you score some1. His mate is a diferent story though and TBH you'll have to offer something pretty special to get him to change his mind. And I'm not talking putting out (though it may help in the short term) because it won't do anything but confirm what he thinks of you already.

I'm not sure what it is you have to say. Sorry - is it appropriate? Probably can do no harm. Tell him you're really upset by what you've done, maybe call around to him, but don't make a fool of yourself in front of people.

LegacyUser

coz im a stupid b1tch and i dont deserve him...
iv tried to call him but he wont answer his fone, and hes not txtin me back.
i feel soooooo bad.i have a lump in my throat and it wont go away... dam but im stoopid.
his friend told me he was gonna ask me to go steady next weekend...

L5

tbh if i was him, I wouldnt speak to you either. Now all his mates probably think your a slapper or something and are slagging him.

LegacyUser

lets just say im in the north of the country, and hes in the south at the miniute, so callin over to see him cant be done.
hes not speakin 2 me, and i really cant take it anymore...

hedgetrimmer

Well, it's his decision, and if he has made up his mind not to contact you, I am afraid you will just have to accept that and hope that after time, he might change his mind. In the meantime, all you can do is move on. Sorry

ravenhead

How long were ye meeting?

LegacyUser

i was meeting him for about 3 weeks, and his friend was just a one night thing.
i really love this guy, and i dont want to loose him...but i think i have already...
i dunno wot im gonna do, im gonna crack up.

ravenhead

Originally posted by upset & lonley
i was meeting him for about 3 weeks, and his friend was just a one night thing.
i really love this guy, and i dont want to loose him...but i think i have already...
i dunno wot im gonna do, im gonna crack up.

three weeks is a very short length of time to be meeting someone ... was if a foreign holiday he went on? if so .. how do you know that he didn't do the same thing?

LegacyUser

na. he was in england 4 a weekend, and now hes in Tipp.hes coming back on Friday.
He made me feel terrible, saying thing like "how could you do this to me" and "i wouldnt have been able to do that to you" etc. etc.
His ex girlfriend cheated on him, but i was never "going-steady" with him, so i dont know what hes so upity about.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by upset & lonley
His ex girlfriend cheated on him

then he's going to try and avoid putting himself in that situation again

but i was never "going-steady" with him, so i dont know what hes so upity about.

because you lead him to believe he was special and then got off with his mate when his back was turned, seems to me that he wouldn't have been so hurt if you hadn't meant something to him

try putting yourself in his shoes, how would you feel?
I'd chalk this one down to experience and move on

Sleepy

Originally posted by upset & lonley
His ex girlfriend cheated on him, but i was never "going-steady" with him, so i dont know what hes so upity about.

I hope that lad has enough sense to stay away from you.

Coney Island

Originally posted by Sleepy
I hope that lad has enough sense to stay away from you.

I agree.....specially with someone who says to be in love and then talk about "shifting", "snogging" and "scoring".... cheater once, always a cheater.....

misswex

Originally posted by Sleepy
I hope that lad has enough sense to stay away from you.

Basically think the same as Sleepy!!

If it was the other way around, how do you think you would have reacted?? Pity the poor guy, his obviously meeting some lovely girls lately :rolleyes:

_Kaiser_

I'm with Uberwolf on this one.... I think a proper face-to-face discussion (assuming he'll agree to it) when he gets back is in order and see if you can work things out. You'll need to show him that you are genuinely sorry tho and that it won't happen again...everyone deserves a second chance in my book (just the one mind!)

As Beruthiel said, the fact that he was so hurt shows that he DOES care and I think you should have been more sensitive to the fact that his last gf did the same thing you've just done, but if you can work it out then you need to both be clearly aware of where you stand with each other, and if you decide to give things a go, there'll be no more "shifting" someone else the minute he's not around for a while (or vice versa of course) - if drink was the cause then the answer is simple...less drink!

Hope it works out anyway...

Etain

If you weren't "going -steady" or serious about him, why then are you carrying on so about the situation? You need to leave him alone and just move on.

ravenhead

Originally posted by upset & lonley
na. he was in england 4 a weekend, and now hes in Tipp.hes coming back on Friday.
He made me feel terrible, saying thing like "how could you do this to me" and "i wouldnt have been able to do that to you" etc. etc.
His ex girlfriend cheated on him, but i was never "going-steady" with him, so i dont know what hes so upity about.

Well there's your answer - he isn't going to go back to you if this has happened before - whether ye wre serious or not ..... Cut you're loses , I really think he won't want anything remotely like a relationship from you now....

But can I ask you ..... if it hadn't been his friend - would you have told him about it?

super_furry

The other thing is, by being with his friend, you already driven a wedge between them and he may not want to see you again for fear of complicating things between himself and his mate. I'm sure they've already had angry words over the entire thing and he might just decide to cut his loses and leave things be.

snoopish

jeeze, thats a bit harsh isn't it..."cheater once, always a cheater" !!! The girl is young(I presume) , emotions run very high at this age, she made a mistake, she's not a criminal or a bad person!!!!I can respect that the guy has been hurt this way before and naturally would be cautious, maybe all you can do now is try your best to be friends with him again and see what happens from there...!

uberwolf

as I think alluded earlier she didn't cheat. They had no agreement. The problem is he thought they had an understanding...

ravenhead

Originally posted by snoopish
jeeze, thats a bit harsh isn't it..."cheater once, always a cheater" !!! The girl is young(I presume) , emotions run very high at this age, she made a mistake, she's not a criminal or a bad person!!!!I can respect that the guy has been hurt this way before and naturally would be cautious, maybe all you can do now is try your best to be friends with him again and see what happens from there...!

I agree with you that she shouldn't be labeled a cheater - after all they weren't even going out - but she can't expect him to just get over it .... especially when it's happened to him before

Typedef

If you're honest with yourself you'll realise that when you went into the whole going out to a pull joint, getting pissed and being flimsily dressed... was *not* the appropiate means to hold on to your man... even if you did manage to delude yourself into believing 'reterospectively' that it was *not an issue*.

Had Mr Random Shift turned out to be rich, bemuscled and interested in having babies.. you'd not be whinging about the loss of the other chap.

Sympathy for you here -10 points.

snoopish

not all girls heads are turned by the prospect of babies (...run away) and money you know.besides seriously how old do you think this girl is...?

how old are you by the way upset & lonley??

LegacyUser

im 17, and only just outta a relationship which lasted almost 2 years.it ended coz he wanted to get married, and i didnt.not coz i snogged another guy.

on another note, my guys speaking to me again, iv begged for another chance, and iv said im sorry 1,000,000 times...he said he needs time to think about it...

but at least hes speakin to me.
i really need to tell him how i really feel about him...but after the last few guys...i dunno if i should tell him or not.
i thought i was falling for him, but im not...i love him...

chump

if you were really into him - and let's be honest, if you're head over heels about some1, the first few weeks are always the most exciting ones ...

and yet during these 'special' weeks with this person you're so incredible attracted to blah blah... he heads off for a few days and you score his mate almost immediately(?)... what the hell do you expect?

jeees i wudn't go back to you

shure every time i'd had an argument with you (never mind during the blissful periods) wouldn't you be off scoring my mates?

Sindy

i wanted help...you know "What would you do if you were me?" kinda thing.
NOT "Oh your a dirty slut, id never go back 2 you"...

i feel bad enough as it is without unconstructive criticism telling me im worthless.
i know that as it it.
if anyone has proper advice for me, please PM me, as i cant read this thread any more.im heart broken enough as it is...:(

Sleepy

Advice:

Get over him. Don't do the same to the next guy.

Even if the poor lad agrees to give you another chance, this will always be held over your relationship so it'd be doomed from the start.

fitz

Teh tough.

You've brought it on yourself. Move on, cause like Sleepy said, it's gonna marr any relationship you have with him.

And tbh, I'd agree with the point that he's gonna have zero trust for you.
And he's right not to.

You made a mistake.
Deal with it.

GuanYin

Originally posted by ravenhead
But can I ask you ..... if it hadn't been his friend - would you have told him about it?

The voice of experience :rolleyes:


He's pissed cos it was his mate.

Of all the people you went for you should have had the cop on to stay clear of his mates.

Now you expect him to start a relationship with you where there's just gonna be a whole heap of insecurity. He'll be paranoid about having you around his mates, he'll probably not trust you a whole lot.

I'd forget it, even if you get together the relationship will end in flames with crashing planes and puppies dying......

move on.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by syke
He's pissed cos it was his mate.

Non si cacca dove si mangia

fitz

Indeed, doorsteps should remain un-shat-upon...

GuanYin

Originally posted by fitz
Indeed, doorsteps should remain un-shat-upon...

You eat on your doorstep?

explains alot

Beruthiel

quit trolling you muppets and get back on topic
or
just move it to the PTH

GuanYin

Originally posted by Beruthiel
quit trolling you muppets and get back on topic
or
just move it to the PTH

Excuse me, I gave an on-topic opinion (and pointed out that ravenhead is a confessed cheater and chose not to tell her boyfriend so has experience in the matter).

The second post was just correcting Fitz's latin translation.

I resent the muppet accusation.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by syke
The second post was just correcting Fitz's latin translation.

Italian.

GuanYin

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Italian.

they're remarkably similar (in the context of winning back the guys heart)

Beruthiel

right syke
banned for giving me cheek!

fitz

That'll learn the little trollette!

Anyway...yes...move on Sindy, you'd have gotten away with it if it wasn't one of his mates.

GuanYin

While I shall mind not to be cheeky to Beruthiel from now on, the important thing is I've learned absolutely nothing.

Sindy

were in the process of getting things sorted, and they wernt friends, they hve the same friends, but they never got on.

what if i said "Ti amo con tutti i miei cuore e sempre volontà." or something along them lines???...:p

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Sindy
what if i said "Ti amo con tutti i miei cuore e sempre volontà." or something along them lines???...:p

It would be grammatically incorrect but a very respectable attempt.

You would also be in a far better position not to shit on your own doorstep this time.

Sindy

im not gonna loose him, not without a fight.
any one any ideas on how i might win him back?

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Sindy
im not gonna loose him, not without a fight.
any one any ideas on how i might win him back?

Turn up naked. Bring beer.

Darren

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Turn up naked. Bring beer.

Brightened up my day!

GuanYin

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Turn up naked. Bring beer.

and maybe a liberal female friend (fair is fair after all....)

Beruthiel

come on lads
try to give some 'serious' suggestions!!

ravenhead

Originally posted by syke
Excuse me, I gave an on-topic opinion (and pointed out that ravenhead is a confessed cheater and chose not to tell her boyfriend so has experience in the matter).

The second post was just correcting Fitz's latin translation.

I resent the muppet accusation.

Syke - have you got a personal issue with me or something ???

What has my previous post got to do with this???? They are two seperate situations ...... you'd really want to get a life - You're going to put people off posting on PI with the way you carry on ..

GuanYin

Originally posted by Beruthiel
come on lads
try to give some 'serious' suggestions!!

Speaking for my self, if a girl turned up with beer and a naked female friend to reconsile, I'd probably propose there and then.


Otherwise, I'd take it slow and talk it out with him. The last thing you want is it being something thats thrown back at you every time you have a row (which its more than likely gonna be) so sort it out at the start and try get it put behind you.

To be honest, I sincerely doubt he'll ever look at you in the same way again, but good luck.

fitz

That's not very helpful Ruthie, if she were to try those suggestions, I'd wager it would work.

So they are serious.

Just depends on her willingness really.
On whether she's ready to take it for the team, so to speak.


You're being teh oppressive tbh
:rolleyes:

GuanYin

Originally posted by ravenhead
Syke - have you got a personal issue with me or something ???

What has my previous post got to do with this???? They are two seperate situations ...... you'd really want to get a life - You're going to put people off posting on PI with the way you carry on ..

I've no personal issues, maybe you'd like to start a thread?

Well its just I find that you seem to forget your previous posts when giving out advice.

Its fine being opinionated and professing to know it all as you do, but to be honest, your track record for posting topics VS. the unique "perspective" that you claim to have dont quite match up.

Oh and at least I'm posting in reference to your previous posts - you resort to casting petty allusions on my personal life.

Who needs to watch how they carry on?