How d I get over my "best friend"?

aidan_walsh

I'm sorry to have to bother you with another thread thats so like so many others before... But I have to ask, what should I do here?

About eight months ago, I met a woman. We hit it off almost instantly, an quickly became friends. But I never wanted just friends, I knew from the start that she was different to anyone I'd met before... Around New Years I asked her out, she agreed, and that started a relationship that spanned five months.

There were a number of obvious problems... I'm 20, she's 26... I'm in Kerry, she's in Clare... She has a son from a previous relationship... But all these were things we talked about, had agreed ways of working around the distance, agreed the age wasn't a problem, agreed on where we stood regards her son...

Everything seemed fine, I had no idea that a breakup was on the cards... I was with her at home only the Tuesday before it happened, she fell asleep in my arms, one of the most wonderful feelings I've ever experienced, to know someone was that comfortable with me...

That Thursday, she told me that it was over... That she didn't see it going any further than friends, calling me her "best friend"... This was about a month ago now, but I just can't forget what she means to me beyond what she says she wants... I don't know what to think about it all, because I recently stayed up all night texting her after a family crisis, where I was the first person she thought of contacting...

I'm torn between wanting her back and respecting what she says she wants...

Agent Smith

nothing more important then a friend, always remember that,

over easter, i lost a very dear friend of mine over very simmaler cercimstances,




in brief, she said she was in love with me, i said that i loved here, but wasnt "in love with her"



needless to say she didnt take it well, and desided to hang herself,

i'm still haunted by the thought to this day,



stay friend's, keep in contact.

OfflerCrocGod

Originally posted by agent smith
she said she was in love with me, i said that i loved here,

She was probably expecting "her"; not for you to profess your love for a place:rolleyes:

Originally posted by agent smith
needless to say she didnt take it well, and desided to hang herself

!!!!!:eek:, is this some sort of very sick Troll? - the reaction seems overboard.

Agent Smith

see here

no,it's all true...

Beruthiel

Originally posted by OfflerCrocGod
is this some sort of very sick Troll? - the reaction seems overboard.

please keep your 'troll' comments to yourself and read the sticky regarding this



doodle_sketch
did she explain what exactly she meant by this comment:
That she didn't see it going any further than friends

did she mean that you were never really more than a friend or did she mean that she never saw it going any further because you were still too young to get into something more serious in the long run. Perhaps she is looking for someone who she could eventually marry and have a family for her and her child?
just thinking out loud there....

Mighty_Mouse

Theres an age-gap there so maybe shes a little to mature for you? She's dropped you though. Friends thing doesnt work and dont be texting the woman that dumped you!!!! Learn to hate women "just enough" and you'll be fine!

Also you might scare someone away after 5 months short relationship as you seem like a pretty intense fella! Maybe if you were more relaxed about things she wouldnt have to make big relationship decisions when she doesnt want to.

aidan_walsh

Originally posted by Beruthiel

did she explain what exactly she meant by this comment:
That she didn't see it going any further than friends

did she mean that you were never really more than a friend or did she mean that she never saw it going any further because you were still too young to get into something more serious in the long run. Perhaps she is looking for someone who she could eventually marry and have a family for her and her child?
just thinking out loud there....

I'm not sure... She did tell me that she had always regarded me as a close friend, which "was why [she] had to fight it at first". I assumed that meant she felt for me as more than a friend too... She knows where I stand about her child, and I know where she stands on marriage and family, she doesn't yet know whether she wants either or not...

aidan_walsh

Originally posted by Mighty_Mouse

Also you might scare someone away after 5 months short relationship as you seem like a pretty intense fella! Maybe if you were more relaxed about things she wouldnt have to make big relationship decisions when she doesnt want to.

Not sure I follow, could you elabourate a little please?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by doodle_sketch
Not sure I follow, could you elabourate a little please?

I believe he means that perhaps you took the whole relationship too seriously instead of just relaxing and just enjoying it for what it was, perhaps she thought the same thing?

She knows where I stand about her child, and I know where she stands on marriage and family, she doesn't yet know whether she wants either or not...

then she's undecided, and probably broke it off so as not to string you along as she didn't want to get serious and too involved, if that is the case, then there's not a lot you can do but move on. I believe if you try and change her mind you will most likely push her further away
bummer for you I'm afraid

ShriekingSheet

Originally posted by agent smith
nothing more important then a friend, always remember that,

over easter, i lost a very dear friend of mine over very simmaler cercimstances,




in brief, she said she was in love with me, i said that i loved here, but wasnt "in love with her"



needless to say she didnt take it well, and desided to hang herself,

i'm still haunted by the thought to this day,



stay friend's, keep in contact.

Good Jesus :eek:

ch8ev

I feel your pain....i just lost my girlfriend after 3 .5 yrs of being together. She is my soul mate, but unfortunately she wanted something (or someone) different in her life. I was going to ask her to marry me this christmas (:( I couldn't give her the spark after 3.5 years. I am totally gutted as it happened recently, I had to move all my stuff out of our apartment, and then I had to plan my work trip to the US, which I am at for the next 4 months.

The worst thing is it was and is like a death....sometime love just isn't enough

Hope you get over this quicker than I am trying to do.

Broken hearted man