Grandad has Lung Cancer and not long left to live

BrookieD

Hi all
Dunno why I am posting here butI got some real bad news that my Grandad has 6 weeks left to live due to Non small cell lung cancer

Not good as he has never been sick in his whole life. This has hit my like a brickwall and I am only just coping with it? I know it is never a good time but I have also started a new job and needed time off in my first few weeks and must say the Company have been more that willing to help out with my requests as I need time to look after my Grandad as his daughter is in england and I live here in Dublin.

Still as I said I dunno why I am posting, maybe just using as a sounding board.

Thanks D

mad m

Well better out than keeping it inside you i say.....u just needed to get it off your chest....stuff like this is never easy...just try and enjoy time u have left with him if you can.....goodluck....

dudara

at the risk of sounding cliched, you posted here because it's good to talk. I watched my own grandmother die over the space of two years roughly passing through senility, comalike state and finally the big end. She wasn't the woman that I remember so well in the last two years of her life.

Your grandfather will pass away, but you need to treasure the time that you've spent together as well as the time that you have left. You'll always have those memories long after he's gone. And he will want you to have them also.

gogo

My father was diagnoised with lung cancer and secondary bone cancer last month. he has a year left. I know how you feel. It's sh1t, permantley sh1t.
I get up every morning with a dread in the pit of my stomach that won't go away.

He has also never been sick, and it came as such a shock, he has changed so much in the space of a month, he is half the man he was, his hair is gone and he raerly eats. I'm shaking writing this, I try not to think about it. Last year, my friend lu and I were talking about the worst thing that could happen, and we both said that it would be one of our parents dying. It s hard to believe its happening.

I'm hijacking your thread, sorry, but my advice is to talk to him, just talk. We had a concellor visit our house and her best advice was that if we want to know something about him that we ask him now. Everbody loves to talk about themselves and you learn so much from people just by listening.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life and i don't know how to deal with it, let alone advise anyone else really. You just have to take it one day at a time.

gogo.
It also great to have this "sounding board", Thanks guys.

keu

my father passed from cancer five years ago. It is a difficult time, but we had a year to say our goodbyes and thats held for me. Grieving seems easier because there are less regrets.
I got a call today to say my aunt has bone cancer too. She was diagnosed 15 years ago and had a close call back then, but made a full recovery. This time seems different. She's about the same age as my father was (mid fifties) and still has a youngish family and I can kind of see the road they are going down at the moment.
But like the rest of the posts suggest, make the most of the time you have....no regrets.

edit;gogo & brookie, wish I could say something to make the pain go away, but it will be alright and you will know what to do, I know it's hard not to worry but just go with the flow ( i know is easier said than done) my regards to you and yours.

Farls

Those stories really put things in perspective for the rest of us...

I've never really had to deal with anything that bad in life *touch wood but i guess just spend time with them, ask them if there's anything they really want to do or would like to be done.

like keu said you'll know yourself what to do

sorry

Farlz

tribble

My 78 year old grandad died last year in a freak poisoning incident.
He'd just cycled home from Dun Laoghaire on his new bike.
I didn't even flinch
He was old, old people die.
Guess some people get more attached to the people they know....

tribble

keu

I didn't even flinch - Guess some people get more attached to the people they know....

Living with and watching a parent die is an extremley difficult and heartbreaking situation to be in and one very few people are prepared for.

tribble

Originally posted by keu
Living with and watching a parent die is an extremley difficult and heartbreaking situation to be in and one very few people are prepared for.

Yeah I know, I didn't mean to sound flippant but the poster should consider themselves lucky to be able to say goodbye.
Most people don't get the chance, either by freak accident or more insideous dementia (bizzare, just realised my other granny died last year aswell...)

tribble

/prev post edited to improve clarity

keu

well...i know what you mean...I was hardly broken up when my grandfather passed away, he was in his ninties and didn't really know him, but just out of some respect, I know what gogo is going through and its a really tough time, a little empathy wouldn't go astray.

(gogo if you want to pm me feel free, don't know if I can be of any help but I'll certainly lend an ear if you want to talk)

gogo

Originally posted by tribble
I didn't even flinch
He was old, old people die.
Guess some people get more attached to the people they know....

tribble

Amazinly enough tribble I have become quite "attached" to my FATHER!
I do consider my self lucky to be able to say good bye, i do not consider the way in which i am going to have to watch him die lucky.
A few people know me on boards, just a few, but i was going to post under a guest because i feel like an idiot coming in here and talking about myself/feelings but i did and hopefully it meant something for brookieD to know that someone feels just as bad as he does right now. Sometimes someone that you don't know is a lot easier to talk to than someone you do. Thats the whole point of this forum - no?
I appreciate Keu and his/her messages, it's nice to be nice.

I don't think that you really understand tribble, your posts do sound flippant, incredible flippant. Sorry for sounding off but.........jesus........attached?

keu

didn't mean to omit brookieD from my second response..my own experience was with my father, but I do understand that some peoples grandparents act as father/mother figures too. My nephew (10) was practically raised by my father, and the loss of his grandfather was a pretty big deal in his life.

like I said before, you have my support.

BrookieD

Hey guys,
Thanks for the reply on this, i am seeing him everyday and making sure he is a well looked after as I can make him but he is going down hill so fast, this is the first time I have ever had anything like this happen.

as before we shall keep ploding along and see what happens.

D:dunno:

Töpher

Thats the best thing to do. It will really help you in the end, knowing in yourself that you did what you could and got to spend some quality time with him. And he will appreciate it too. A loving family is what he needs.