Need Help you guys

Micheal Wittman

Hi all

I'm kind of lost and i'm hoping you guys can help me. Around 2 and a half weeks ago a freind of mine tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of pills. It really shocked me and and another friend of ours. The two of us just couldn't understand why had he tried to end his life

There was absolutly no warning or indication he was feeling so low that he might try to kill himself. I think he may have done it because a gf of his left him (i'm not sure why he is very quiet on her) a few weeks before hand and maybe he just went downhill from there.

I had noticed he seemed a tad differnet but in no why was it on the brink of suicide.
He was still laughing and joking and being the great friend he had always been

Even the school counsoller was surprised when he told him afterwards.....it really scares me. I feel guilty that he felt he couldn't talk to me and the fact I didn't see any sign - none of us did. I let him down.

He was the one who told us he had taken the pills when he was up in the local Chipper on a Saturday Night . He had taken the pills on a Saturday morning .

The day before We had been hanging out together - the three of us and the day had been a good laugh and he seemed his usual self. then he went home and whatever happened he finally went over the edge. The following Day we spent the day together and it was a good day.

Although I did notice he looked totally wrecked/ plastered and I asked him had he got drunk the night before (friday ) but he avoided the question. He also seemed really tired and almost on the verge of collapse. The casic truth is that he was dieing in front of us and we didnt know. its only now I realise it was because he had taken an overdose of paracetamol.

He recovered and I value his friendship even more now. I treid talking to him about it but he seems reluctant and nearly three weeks have passed......

I still dont know why exactly a great guy like him would want to end it all?

The three of us seem not to be achnolowging what happened. I feel i'm the only one that cares. I'm terrified he might do it again.

He may think that no one cares much - once he came out of hospital "it was all forgotten"

I' ve told him that i'm here if he wants to talk but i still cant tell how he is - I didnt see the signs beforehand and I'm terrified I wont see them again.

You guys are the only ppl i can too. I'd like to hear of any other of u guys who where in the position of suicide/ friend of attempted suicide victim


Basically what do you guys think I should do? i'm afraid he may not want to talk about it. I just want him to say why he did it. If he did it again I 'd never forgive myself. Its really getting me down and Ive found that I have become depressed over it. what should I do?

Nuttzz

I had two friends who went down your pal’s route but did a better job of it than he did.

I would have to class him in the cry for help category rather than someone who really wants to kill themselves; if he did he would do a better job of it TBH.

I'd say (with 80% certainty) that the GF leaving him is the root of his problem, you have to find out why they broke up, perhaps asking her rather than him might help. Forget feeling guilty about not seeing the signs, if someone what’s to kill themselves they will.

Talk to him and don’t let him dodge the questions, if you let him you'll never get the answer

(Me thinks this is better off in PI BTW)

Karoma

it's all about me me me.
You're post is about your guilt :rolleyes:
He has no gf and -no good friends. that's reason to be depressed.

Kingp35

You gotta confront him about and ask him why he did it.Dont blame yourself its often the case that someone is fine on the outside but going crazy on the inside.Once you talk to him try get him to seek some professional help.

I got depressed when me and my girlfriend were having problems and thats the root of almost all guys depression. You have to confront him and not let it go untill he talks. I know from experience that keeping it to yourself just drives you more depressed. You have to talk to him and do it A.S.A.P.

GoneShootin

wtf is this doing in After Hours ?

Karoma

he posted in the wrong forum. chill. today seems to be wrong forum day anyway :rolleyes:

Ellesmere

Suicide or attempting suicide is all about a desire for change (how other people see him). tell him the positive things he's got in his life, but don't argue with him. Distract him from the negative by bringing him out somewhere. Become a good listener rather than an advisor. Be there for him but put a firm limit on your involvement, don't be over reacting, I've been down that road before when i was 15 years old and it got to the point where I felt emotionally blackmailed i.e them ringing you up at all hours of the morning for weeks on end and you feel like telling them to just go ahead with it.

subway_ie

Originally posted by Kingp35

I got depressed when me and my girlfriend were having problems and thats the root of almost all guys depression.

I think that's a bit of a *huge* generalisation...

Karoma

Originally posted by subway_ie
I think that's a bit of a *huge* generalisation...

and i think that's a bit of a *huge* understatement. Lovely. The guy thinks everyone sees things as he does... wrong of course. but he's trying to help.. in his own way.

rymus

I dont think it's unfair to say that women are a main cause of depression in men... That's what they were put on the planet for after all.

Kingp35

yeah maybe it is a generalisation but im talking from my experience here and that doesnt just include me it includes alot of people getting depressed over someone they love. Makes sense doesnt considering its the strongest feling out threre. And i said it because this guy thinks that is the root of his mates problems and i made the point as to tel him that he is probably right.

Girls F*u*c*k guys up simple as that

Kingp35

oh and i said its the root of depression which doesnt mean its the main cause.when a guy is depressed there is nearly always a woman or lack of a woman involved which either way still includes girls. Thats the point i was making

Auburn

Originally posted by Kingp35
Girls F*u*c*k guys up simple as that

:rolleyes: FFS someone can only do that if you let them do it. If you're so involved in someone that being without them makes you depressed then you're too dependant on them - your fault not theirs.

Karoma

Originally posted by Auburn
:rolleyes: FFS someone can only do that if you let them do it. If you're so involved in someone that being without them makes you depressed then you're too dependant on them - your fault not theirs.

true.
cause or a(e?)ffect - either way it fucks one up.

Barbie_666

dont post unless you u have something USEFUL to say.


my friend tried to kill herself with an overdose of paracetamol too.she took 30 of them and had 2 get her stomach pumped.she was in hospital for two weeks,and when she came out, no 1 knew what to say to her.but she told us why she tried to, and shes ok now.we were all really worried she would try it again too, just watch out for little things, like changes in eating habits, sleepyness, behaviour changes, etc.

hope i helped, if you have any more questions, PM me.

Donna
xxx

Karoma

watch all you want. nanny them all you want. you won't be able to stop them. and whatever you do do not "confront him until he talks" nor should you talk to him about it. here's one for a change: listen.
most times that's what people need and want. ask the samaritans-they've been trained and doing it for decades.
stop pushing your warez on others. let them do what they want to do at the end of the day-whatever that might be. if you don't like it-that's your problem. tell them you'd rather they didn't because you value them - but not in a way that is emotional blackmail.
i strongly doubt your abilities to do this :rolleyes:

The jock

i had two best friends of mine kill them selves.its a terrible thing when it happens.first of all my best friend who killed himself last summer done it because one of his friends had died from head injurys from a fall off a horse.and he felt so alone he just didnt think and killed himself .he knew that there was no point in living after such a shock.he just didnt think it through.he didint show any signs of killing himself a few days after the death of his friend.he was surprisingly not worried about the death in public at all but that was just a cover up so he would make it easier on his parents to make them think that his death was a mistake.

My other friend killed himself to without showing any signs of it.its what goes on in there own mind that is the source of the problem.his parents said it was an acident but i think they where only covering up so that me and his freinds would think it was an accident to ease the pain.but i knew that he done it and he done it mainly because he never had very many friends except for me and no girlfriend ever and he had was to quite of a person to carry on.he thought that it only would get worse if he lived.for me i the thought of suicide never entered my mind, i thought it out and decided the pain i went through i wouldnt put it on my friends and family.

its hard to talk to anybody about it so i just had to leave it all out here to move on.

Linoge

Originally posted by The jock
i had two best friends of mine kill them selves.

Is there something in the water? No offence, but I remember when I was in school and when anyone died everyone was their best friend. TBH, they sickened me, using someones death to gain attention, just like attempted suicide.

If he really wanted to kill himself he would have. Whatever about girls taking an overdose, thats the way they do it, but lads tend to do it much more violently. Any man I know, who has actually gone through with it either hung or shot themselves. (Reading over this it sounds like I've got a sadistic interest.)

But anyway, what I'm trying to say is that he's a selfish prick. Suicide should not be a device to gain attention and you should not encourage him by being extra nice to him because you feel he may try again.
Call his bluff, tell him to cop the f*ck on. That the world doesn't stop turning just because he's pissed off. That if he ever tries that sh!t again you'll stop talking to him. Tell him not to be so selfish, yeh he broke up with his girlfriend but is that as bad as losing a friend, brother or son? Make him feel guilty about the whole thing.

Of course this advice only applies if hes not a screwball. If he would commit suicide just to prove that it was a genuine attempt the first time I wouldn't reccommend it.

Silent Grape

Linoge, thats the worst advise ive ever heard.

talk to him about seeing a counseller and a psychiatrist. keep asking him what u can do to help. dont feel guilty, no one is responsible for his life but himself. the only thing you can do now is be around him as someone he can trust. spend more time with him, having a laugh.

but its probably better he talk to someone who has lots of experience than urself, who mightend have all that much experience. you could always ring the samaritans or go on their website for advise.

gud luck x

Raphael

A friend of mine told me they were planning on killing themselves. After spending most of the day trying to convince her not to, i just gave up, and figured if thats what she wanted to do, so be it. That night i felt like ****, then the next day, when i saw her(she had tried to overdose, but not taken enough) i knew i couldnt let this happen. So i went through her things, and took everything she could poosibly use to kill herself, and hid it. She told me she hated me, and never wanted to see me again.....for a long time i wasnt sure if i'd done the right thing...i'm still not, tbh

Karoma

best i've heard yet-was a two part suicide sms text.


:rolleyes:

... just .. :rolleyes:
somebody please lump this with the rest of crap in PI. Most of you haven't a ****ing clue what you're talking about. you're all looking at it fromthe outside in. you won't ever understand them. give them the samaritans number-these people can actually listen and understand.

Monty - the one and only

moved, this is more suited to PI

WetDaddy

Linoge, I have to agree with Silent Grape...

To cut straight to the chase, you really don't sound like you know what you're talking about. I haven't had any particularly in depth experience in this area, but I know not to make drastic (unfounded & irrational) comments such as:

If he really wanted to kill himself he would have.

You obviously haven't thought about this enough. You have to understand that someone who attempts suicide is in a totally different mind-frame. You (and this goes for myself and possibly a lot of other people here) have neither (a) the personal experience, or (b) the professional training to make a constructive judgement.

acous

Linoge, you should be ****ing shot.

Gordon

Acous - did you read Silent Grape's reply to Linoge?

fitz

It's a tough situation to be in, cause whatever route you decide to take, it's hard to tell how he'll react.

Softly softly.

Try and re-assure him that he can talk to you about his problems, that you're not just one of the lads to have a laugh with. If he's willing to talk, listen.

But remember one thing: you're not qualified to help him and you are not responsible if you can't help him.

He needs to talk to a professional. That's the best source of help in this situation.

acous

Gordon - yep i did... sorry about that i just got a bit riled up at the time. It's an issue that's a little close to home, too.

Anyway, in most cases you can laugh off people like that. People who think they know what they're talking about but don't. Most of the time they're limited to ruining your computer, kitchen, haircut, clothes etc. People hand out their 2 cent on politics, war and all the worlds issues. No one really gets harmed in those cases but this is someone's life we're talking about!

His advice, his actions, could indirectly cause someone's death!

I don't want to go over each point he made. People with a clue can spot people without any. He's perfectly entitled to say what he said, and the "should be shot" comment was over the top. I just needed to express my outrage

tinkerbell

Originally posted by Micheal Wittman
There was absolutly no warning or indication he was feeling so low that he might try to kill himself.

Sometimes people who are feeling really low can create a false exterior - he could seem like the happiest person on earth but inside he is crumbling. You can never really know what a person is thinking unless they actually tell you.

Just be there for him, the poor guy is goin through an awful time and needs the support of his friends right now.

Linoge

Originally posted by Acous
Linoge, you should be ****ing shot.

I'll see what I can do.

I know not great advice, I'm just pissed off with people using suicide as a throwaway word. "I was suicidal after my girlfriend dumped me etc. etc." To which I reply "Would you ever shut the ****, if you were suicidal you'd be dead." I have no sympathy for thwm.

Dont have time to elaborate right now

seaghdhas

I don't think anyone's suggested that it was tried so he could go through the motions for himself. How many people have genuinely been prepared tangibly for suicide only to decide at the last minute not to, and then not mentioned it to anyone because the evidence could be hidden?