Younger Guys

LegacyUser

just wondering peoples opinions on this.

i'm 23 and just finishing off a masters in college. over the past year i've gotten to be really friendly with one of my brothers friends from school. he's a lovely guy but is only 19. i know he's interested in taking things further but i'm not sure whether i am or not.

should the age differnece bother me

planck2

No

Kersh

No, its not the age difference, but the point at which it occurs. 23 - 19 is ok, but obviously 19 - 15 is not on. Go for it.

Nuttzz

what age difference?

ravenhead

It really should'nt matter at all - after all you say that you have become friendly with him which must mean that you have something in common with each other - so why not give it a go....

Lainey

def not.. go on, your wasting time.. go find him..

Asok

There is no age difference tbh go forth and copulate!

Sarky

Unless you're not interested in taking things further, as you said.

tman

go ahead, jump the young lads bones

ixoy

23 and 19? That's nothing! Try a seven year age gap (welll not yet) and then worry some.

Lemming

There's a 4 year age gap between my g/f and me, and to be perfectly honest - WHAT age gap? It doesn't make a blind bit of difference

If you like him, then what's the problem?

Tivoli

simple rule is--someone finished school shouldn't date someone in school.

4years if nothing but family members friends can get messy.


my birds mate was dating my brother for a while,every time he mentioned sex to her, she told me missus, who then passed the "ew" info onto me


go for it but take it realy slow,a 19yo fella is probably only interested in a bit of fun

Boston

Problem is do you really want to mess around with something this close to home. It may cost your brother his friendship with this lad, if it all goes pair shaped. Normally I'd say **** everyone else and live for yourself, but you better find out how your brother would react, and make it clear that your not being seduced by his mate, (trust me, even though your older then your brother, that's how the male mind works)

Apart from that, you're about to leave college and he's about to start, that's something that can change allot of perspectives, for both of you. Are you willing to give up certain opportunities to be with him, is he willing to go through that whole "Having a girlfriend in college" thing for you? All that said, life is for living not for worrying, and you have found someone you want to be with and the feelings are reciprocal, that's something rare and special, one way or another you'll have this summer at least and it doesn't sound live you will regret this decision.

Johnny Versace

Remember, men die younger, so if it works out and you get married, you'll be lonely for fewer years when he dies!

D

Hey! You leave my brother alone you cradle-snatcher! Nah I don't see a problem.

][cEMAN**

You should only be looking for mental growth and not physical. After about 17/18 age doesn't really matter that much and it becomes a quest for a meeting of minds. Or at least that's the best advise. If you just look for pure physical attraction that fades after a while. Could be a couple of months, or could be a couple of years...but it still fades.

Red Alert

well he's almost 20, and depending on his maturity he's probably ok for you. i'm 20, my g/f's 22, and the age-gap isn't an issue. around that age like someone else said, it's a meeting of minds that does it. you've obviously got a good lot in common with this lad, go for it!

MarcusGarvey

Go for it. Turn this boy into a man. 4 years isn't really an age gap provided you are both of legal age.

memphis

he's 19, your 23. Thats nothing. I've an old school mate who is 23 and going out with a guy who's 18 for over a year now. Its no big deal.

I don't actually think its the age gap that you are really questioning, i believe yu are really looking at the go-ahead to date your brohers best mate. Only your brother can grant you that. Ask him what he'd think. Then ask the lad out.

Just keep it casual, I reckon if he's interested he's only looking for a bit of fun (This is a guy talking.... and I've been 19).

Best of luck.

Typedef

Personally the youngest I've slept with was 18 and I was 24.

I almost was *very* bad with a 16 year old. Almost.

When I was 16-20, I hated men like me.

Now that I'm old enough to understand how taken younger women can be with older men, all I can say is sour grapes to 16-20 year old guys... got your wimmen.

booya!

*sigh*.

Also, 40 year old men with 20 year old women.

Sick sick sick!

strawberry

Originally posted by Typedef
Personally the youngest I've slept with was 18 and I was 24.

I almost was *very* bad with a 16 year old. Almost.

When I was 16-20, I hated men like me.

Now that I'm old enough to understand how taken younger women can be with older men, all I can say is sour grapes to 16-20 year old guys... got your wimmen.

booya!

*sigh*.

Also, 40 year old men with 20 year old women.

Sick sick sick!

I understand you may have your own issues, but maybe you should start your own thread instead of starting a random rant which is barely connected to the topic?

numnum. tbh, the age difference doesn't make that much of a difference once you're both adults, but you both seem to be at very different stages in your lives. This guy is only starting college, you've been there, done that, are probably looking to get a job. You could end up drifting apart just because you're leading very different lives. If you think it's worth the risk go for it, otherwise...

Typedef

strawberry.

I had no idea your lover was fourty!

strawberry

:rolleyes:

Strangely enough I had no idea either.

nlgbbbblth

Originally posted by Kersh
No, its not the age difference, but the point at which it occurs. 23 - 19 is ok, but obviously 19 - 15 is not on. Go for it.

exactly

56 - 43 is fine

24 - 11 I'm not so sure about

Auburn

Age doesn't matter. It's maturity you need to be worried about.

My ex is three years younger than me (I'm 23) but it wasn't an issue because we didn't make it an issue.

Mr.Applepie

I starting going out with my girlfriend when i was 20. she was 23 going 24. The age gap is not significant. As long as you feel he is mature enough for you whats the problem?

Johnny Versace

Originally posted by nlgbbbblth
24 - 11 I'm not so sure about

ToxicPaddy

age is only an issue if you make it an issue..

Your're both adults so go for it..

If it doesnt work out then so be it, you tried and thats the result..

If you dont go for it, you will be thinkin about the "what ifs" for a long time
aftewards.

As the ad says..

JUST DO IT!!!

Tox

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice.

my brother really wouldn't be too much of a problem cos they're not as friendly as they used to be, my brother is in college in england now.

it was just the first year and a fourth year thing all year that was kinda worrying me, but thats a college thing.

most of my friends are older than me, i've gone to more 30th birthdays than 21st in the past few months.

meeting him later so i'll see what happens then

pigeonbutler

This issue came up before in another post and it contained quite a brilliant formula for deciding whether an age gap was acceptable or too big.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?postid=1388148#post1388148

Anyway, are you going to fill us in on how things went the other day then?

too_much

Originally posted by Johnny Versace
Remember, men die younger, so if it works out and you get married, you'll be lonely for fewer years when he dies!

lmao that cheered me up

19? He's a grown man almost My 18yr old friend has a 23yr old gf, and they're very happy together Remember, other people's opinions shouldn't be a factor in your happiness with this lad unless they're directly affected by it.

Go and teach him a few things

regards,
too_much

Lainey

Originally posted by too_much
Go and teach him a few things

lol.. i like that

Barbie_666

go and be good, and if you cant be good, be good at it!!!:D

de5p0i1er

Go for it. the gap is to small to worry about.

shellseaker

i think a 4 year age gap is fine...but the point about you finishing college and him starting is a very good one...does he know how you feel because maybe hes not too keen on the idea.......but remembe when your turning 30 hes only 26 and when our turning 30 for some peple if devastating.....after 30 its all down hill from there so the age differance wont matter...joking...as long as your young at heart thats all that matters..because youbg people who feel old are old

ToxicPaddy

anyway, yer only as old as the person ya feel... up

Tox