Adopted.

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I don't know if this is the correct place to post this, if it is the wrong place, please move it to the right place.

Anyway, on to my "issue"!

A friend of mine ( yeah I know it's a bit of a cliché, but it really is my friend, and not me ) who is adopted has recently asked me to look into the possibility of tracing his natural parents. He asked me for a number of reasons:

1. He is my best friend, and has asked me to lay the groundwork, he is still quite nervous about the whole thing.

2. He does not have ready access to the internet, and while we were discussing the subject, I mentioned that the internet might be a good place to look for information. I do have internet access pretty much 24/7, and so I volunteered to do this for him.

I have a few questions to ask on his behalf.

Where is the best place to start looking for his natural parents?

Are there any websites where I can get a better picture of what exactly I need to do?

Finally, I know this might be a bit of a strange way of going about looking for natural parents, but my friend is quite self-conscious about the fact that he is adopted, and sometimes feels like he is unwanted. We started talking about his adoption one night, and he ended up telling me he sometimes feels totally worthless, that nobody wants him.

His adoptive father ( is that the right term? ) gives him a very hard time at home, and this leads to more ill-feelings on my friends part. I have advised him to talk to his father about this, but the man is just totally unapproachable.

Any thoughts or ideas would be most welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Beruthiel

for the other side of the coin have a look here:
there are also one or two links you might be interested in

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=141353&highlight=brother

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Thanks Beruthiel, had a look at the links, it seems a bit daunting, but I will do my best.

After reading that story though, what have I let myself in for?

Do I need to be involved in all of this?

Stark

He's best contacting an agency as the process of finding natural parents can take lots of stress and years, and it is best to let an agency do the work so he can carry on his life in the meantime.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by seansouth
After reading that story though, what have I let myself in for?

well it's just one story of many variations, and perhaps he just needs to start going about it himself and sorting out internet access, no difficult these days, cafes everywhere.
and as Stark said, these things can take years and years to sort, I have heard of some people who took 12 years and others who took 3 months. Luck of the draw and it depends on how much info the birth mother was willing to leave at the time. Point him in the right direction and be an ear for him, but I think the ground work will be up to himself.
Again, as Stark said, an agency is by far the best way to go.