Regret?

ravenhead

I've been pondering a choice that I made some years ago.
It's something that get's me down from time to time.
I wonder what would have been, would my life have taken the direction it has if I hadn't made that decision.
I guess you could say that in a way I have regrets about my choice - even though at the time & even now, it was the right choice to make.

I don't know if I'm making any sense!!!!
Just thought I'd put this out into the great void & see what your thoughts are......

Zulu

Originally posted by ravenhead
I've been pondering a choice that I made some years ago.
It's something that get's me down from time to time.
I wonder what would have been, would my life have taken the direction it has if I hadn't made that decision.
I guess you could say that in a way I have regrets about my choice - even though at the time & even now, it was the right choice to make.

I don't know if I'm making any sense!!!!
Just thought I'd put this out into the great void & see what your thoughts are......

If you don't give us any other information, you're basically asking us our opinion on wheither you should regret a desision you made a few years ago. You've told us you've made the right choice.
Theres only one thing left to say - Suck it up.
Sorry if thats a bit cruel.

ravenhead

Originally posted by Zulu
If you don't give us any other information, you're basically asking us our opinion on wheither you should regret a desision you made a few years ago. You've told us you've made the right choice.
Theres only one thing left to say - Suck it up.
Sorry if thats a bit cruel.

Without going into too much detail, lets just say that the decision I made changed my life forever - if I had not made the decision - my life would also have changed forever!! But I chose another path... If you know what I mean????
I guess what I'm trying to say in the thread is - Have you ever made a choice - that you knew was the right thing to do but behind it all you still had regret about making that decision in the first place ? I hope I'm making sense???

Lainey

Originally posted by ravenhead
Have you ever made a choice - that you knew was the right thing to do but behind it all you still had regret about making that decision in the first place ?

not really but i think i know what your getting at.. if you can neither change the decision or make things better then you may forget it.. it's irrelevant what the decision was cos at the time you said you felt you were doing the right thing.. then nothing else you could do but what you thought was right.. nothing else can be expected of a person..

ravenhead

Originally posted by Lainey
not really but i think i know what your getting at.. if you can neither change the decision or make things better then you may forget it.. it's irrelevant what the decision was cos at the time you said you felt you were doing the right thing.. then nothing else you could do but what you thought was right.. nothing else can be expected of a person..

Thanks Lainey -

Lainey

Originally posted by ravenhead
Thanks Lainey -

yr welcome

Zulu

Originally posted by ravenhead
Without going into too much detail, lets just say that the decision I made changed my life forever - if I had not made the decision - my life would also have changed forever!! But I chose another path... If you know what I mean????
I guess what I'm trying to say in the thread is - Have you ever made a choice - that you knew was the right thing to do but behind it all you still had regret about making that decision in the first place ? I hope I'm making sense???

So it's a life decision - everyone makes them all the time.
Whether its a course in university, a career path, a girl, a guy, a kid, a car.........
Some are more serious than others, but pondering wheither you should have made the "wrong" choice (you said you made the right choice) sounds like you're not sure you made the right choice at all.
So unless you can change it, don't dwell on it.
Unless you are prepared to change it, don't dwell on it.

Can I ask, because I'm pretty confident, is it a girl?

ravenhead

Originally posted by Zulu
So it's a life decision - everyone makes them all the time.
Whether its a course in university, a career path, a girl, a guy, a kid, a car.........
Some are more serious than others, but pondering wheither you should have made the "wrong" choice (you said you made the right choice) sounds like you're not sure you made the right choice at all.
So unless you can change it, don't dwell on it.
Unless you are prepared to change it, don't dwell on it.

Can I ask, because I'm pretty confident, is it a girl?

Why??

Kersh

I made such a decision 10 years ago. I should have got back with a girl but I didnt. I met up with her a few years ago, we both said we should have , but we didnt. Ah well. Im v happy with my life. I dont regret the decision, its just that back then it was a big one. And I didnt choose it. Big deal.

Beruthiel

regret is an empty emotion
can you go back in time? nope
there is no point in the world second guessing yourself at this stage.
the decision was right for you at the time, live for today, hope for tomorrow and stop looking back on something you have no power whatsoever in changing at this stage. All it does is get you down.

ravenhead

Originally posted by Beruthiel
regret is an empty emotion
can you go back in time? nope
there is no point in the world second guessing yourself at this stage.
the decision was right for you at the time, live for today, hope for tomorrow and stop looking back on something you have no power whatsoever in changing at this stage. All it does is get you down.

I know what you're saying but at times I feel like I didn't really deal with the impact of the choice I made - I just swepped it under the carpet.. Do U know what I mean?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by ravenhead
I know what you're saying but at times I feel like I didn't really deal with the impact of the choice I made - I just swepped it under the carpet.. Do U know what I mean?

then look at it for what it is, something that you did in the past that you obviously have no control over now, understand, that perhaps you have made a mistake, learn from it and move on.
You live on this planet for x amount of time, make it as happy for yourself as you possibly can and stop looking at something that you cannot possibly do anything about now.

hedgetrimmer

Life is about the decisions, and the choice we make define us, and define where we are.

In any situation, we have to make a decision we believe to be right at the time. Down the line, it may seem questionable, but right then, where you were at that time, it was the right decision.

If you realise that the decision is not right for you now, or that you were confused or (heaven forfend) made a mistake, take steps to rectify it.

If you can't, you need to do two of the most difficult things in life: 1) learn from it; 2) let it go.

As long as things are around your neck, weighing you down, you wont be able to move on.

I hope this helps

Zulu

Originally posted by ravenhead
Why??

a hunch.

ravenhead

Thanks hedgetrimmer - I'm trying to make peace with it - I suppose all in good time...

ravenhead

Originally posted by Zulu
a hunch.

Spot on .... Does it make a differance?

Zulu

Originally posted by ravenhead
Spot on .... Does it make a differance?

Nope. But nothing will. Find a trustworthy friend, get lots of wine, light a fire, and discuss it till the early hours of the next day. Then forget about it.

Thats my 2c

patch

Whatever it is, plenty of other people went through something similar. Some didn't give it a second thought. Others like yourself still dwell on it and let it still effect their lives.
You need to find a way to put it behind you and move on fully. You'd be surprised how talking about it openly can help clear it away.
Good luck with it.

Unpossible

I have a similar problem, I dwell too much on things wondering if I made the right choices with college/girls, the last such choice was made last year when I decided to repeat my year instead of doing 2rd year in another college, now I plan on moving to that college any way but to third year there.

ravenhead

Thanks for the advise guys, & don't get me wrong - this doesn't dominate my thoughts - it's just something that's kind of at the back of my mind......
Thanks again..:cool:

hedgetrimmer

Originally posted by ravenhead
Thanks hedgetrimmer - I'm trying to make peace with it - I suppose all in good time...

I have struggled with similar stuff many a time. It's really difficult, but the bad feelings and the confusion do fade over time...

Unpossible

well these things really drive you crazy if you dwell on them, but if your like me then you can't help it

ravenhead

Originally posted by Unpossible
I have a similar problem, I dwell too much on things wondering if I made the right choices with college/girls, the last such choice was made last year when I decided to repeat my year instead of doing 2rd year in another college, now I plan on moving to that college any way but to third year there.

The only thing is my choice was a little bit more complicated than girls/boys collage etc - the choice I made changed me fi you know what I mean??

Beruthiel

Originally posted by ravenhead
the choice I made changed me fi you know what I mean??

did it make you a different person?
do you not like and respect who you are now?

Unpossible

well the choice last year has changed my perspective on several things and it has also made me better at computers.

I think its fair to say that every lifestyle affecting choice changes the type person we are (I consider relationship & college/ work choices to be lifestyle affecting choices)

ravenhead

Originally posted by Unpossible
well the choice last year has changed my perspective on several things and it has also made me better at computers.

I think its fair to say that every lifestyle affecting choice changes the type person we are (I consider relationship & college/ work choices to be lifestyle affecting choices)

I would agree with you that relatioship/collage etc choices are lifestyle affecting choices.
But without going into too much detail - it was more of a personal choice, that to an outside person would not seem to change you, even though they may be aware of the decision that you made, but to you, on the inside - when you're alone with your own thoughts - It changes you.......

Stark

Watch the butterfly effect, for all you know getting together with her could have turned her into the next Hitler.

(Or you could have just broken up again 2 weeks later ).

ravenhead

Originally posted by Stark
Watch the butterfly effect, for all you know getting together with her could have turned her into the next Hitler.

(Or you could have just broken up again 2 weeks later ).

It has nothing to do with getting together with anyone - it wasn't a relationship decision - & I'm the girl .......:cool:

davej

the choice I made changed me fi you know what I mean??

Did you have a sex change?

Anyway, It's healthy to think about your big decision from time to time...afterall it was such a big choice it's only natural! You really need to chat to someone about it if it's bothering you that much. Deep down you know your decision was for the best, so I wouldn't worry about it. Everybody goes through the "what if" scenarios.

davej

ravenhead

Originally posted by davej
Did you have a sex change?

Anyway, It's healthy to think about your big decision from time to time...afterall it was such a big choice it's only natural! You really need to chat to someone about it if it's bothering you that much. Deep down you know your decision was for the best, so I wouldn't worry about it. Everybody goes through the "what if" scenarios.

davej

Cheers Davej - & No I didn't have a sex change....:p

LegacyUser

I broke up with my girlfriend last summer before we started college, for my own selfish reasons. I really liked her but I wanted to have some fun in college. I bumped into her a few months ago, she's pregnant with some other guy she barely knows kid. Its probably the best decision I've ever made as I could have been that guy if I'd stuck around long enough.

Calibos

Did you 'take the boat'?

SCULLY

Originally posted by Calibos
Did you 'take the boat'?

Is this 20 questions?

Beruthiel

keep it on topic ladies
if you have forgotten what the CHARTER says,

for easy access - you will find in in my sig below \/
B

isolde

Some decisions are more serious than others and sometimes you've no choice but to go with your heart and do what you feel is best for you. Sometimes such decisions change your life, no matter what you choose.. and there's always the what ifs and the wondering and the voices in your head that say you made the wrong choice. But, when you made your decision you had to choose one way or the other.. and if it was a serious issue, then you naturally deliberated long and hard about it before you decided. If you go with your heart then I don't think anyone should regret their decisions or choices. Because, even though these things can mess with your head sometimes, at least you were true to yourself, which, to me, is the bottom line.

ravenhead

Originally posted by isolde
Some decisions are more serious than others and sometimes you've no choice but to go with your heart and do what you feel is best for you. Sometimes such decisions change your life, no matter what you choose.. and there's always the what ifs and the wondering and the voices in your head that say you made the wrong choice. But, when you made your decision you had to choose one way or the other.. and if it was a serious issue, then you naturally deliberated long and hard about it before you decided. If you go with your heart then I don't think anyone should regret their decisions or choices. Because, even though these things can mess with your head sometimes, as at least you were true to yourself, which, to me, is the bottom line.

Thanks isolde;)