The absolute final taboo.

Archvillain

This is what it is:
I've sat through Pasolini **** eating films and read de Sade. I am almost, (but not yet, thankfully) desensitised to violence on TV. People are shocked or repelled by nothing in Dublin today. But if you mention lonliness. That you feel alone. It's total horror.
And yet this is the most normal of states to find yourself. maybe this is why. I read on a beermat once: 'lonely? so is everyone else here'. I really think the force of this taboo is that it's tied so inextricably into who we are and how we live, so desperate are we not to appear alone, to ourselves first and then others. We read, write, take a partner, speak to a god, I'd guess, so as to have someone, anyone, who can see things from our perspective.
does this ring true for anyone else. Or have I said the wrong thing?

simu

It is a bit of a taboo alright. I used to get very freaked out about it but then I looked at it objectively and it's not all that bad. Even if I was the last person on earth, I'd find some way of entertaining myself. But I imagine that a lot of ppl do stay in undesirable situations because they are afraid of being alone.

When I see those ads on TV about not leaving the elderly alone, I wonder if some of them wouldn't prefer to be alone? It's a problem that can affect ppl of any age.

Velvet Vocals

I think you are right... it is very hard for people to hear.... there are several reasons, one is that we are all (or at least the majority of people) are afraid of ending up lonely. But another reason is that it's embarrassing.... if someone says that they are lonely there's an awkwardness about it and a feeling of not really knowing what to say.
You could give the usual advice.. oh get out and meet people.... join a club.But apart from that what do you say?

Specky

When I see those ads on TV about not leaving the elderly alone, I wonder if some of them wouldn't prefer to be alone?

....those who wish to be alone can choose to be. This goes for anyone, if you are not alone then you are in a position to be able to make the conscious decision that will make you alone...ie leave, ask other to leave etc.

However, if you are alone you cannot simply make a decision that will take you out of a state of loneliness.

As has been already pointed out, it is perfectly possible (and I would say very common) to be totally alone in a crowded room or (for that matter) within a relationship. This is the true sadness of loneliness, it's like an invisible wall surrounding the individual that unfortunately cannot easily be broken down by the popularly suggested remedies of "get out more" or "be more outgoing" or "join in".

In my view society is becoming more divided with more class boundaries and exclusive attitudes being established, making it harder for those on the "outside" to integrate with the "lucky few" on the inside.

Victor

Actually is it still taboo - some people out there are admitting to being lonely and getting over it.

pork99

I'm pretty used to loneliness given my skin disease which covers me in weeping pustules oozing discharge which smells like rancid manure.

I find consolation in literature and the arts. I simply could not live without Flaubert! L'Education Sentimentale is my constant and ever faithful companion.

Failing that theres the web where Red Hot Lesbian action is only ever a single click away.

blondie83

I was just wondering what it would be like to spend a week, without talking to anyone, as a sort of social experiment. A week on your own, where you had to stay in the house, with nothing but a computer tv and radio for company. Even with those three I don't know if I could stick it. Even spending a day travelling on my own gets to me a bit. I do like my own company, but it's good to have friends too

dam0cles

as a social species there is a stigma attached to being unaffiliated with any social group, i.e. alone. it's a biological/genetic thing. the lion wandering the veldt without a pride is treated with distrust and, at times, aggression by members of an established hierarchy. the lion is alone because he failed to keep control over his former pride, or was cast out because of his actions, either way he is lonely becuase of weakness. similarly a person is perceived to be lonely for a reason, cast out of a group for an action or a failure on their part. modern society will tell you it has moved on from seeing things in such black and white, animalistic terms, but you can't escape your bilogical programming.

with the above in mind few people will readily admit to being lonely, it's a stark declaration of weakness, even though, as you say, most people would admit to themselves that they experience lonliness regularly.

to take your point about it being the last taboo, the other things you mention, specifically sexual (and scatalogical?) acts are ultimately natural animalistic behaviour which society has conditioned out of us, or at least out of sight, but yet we can easily fall back into once we overcome the conditioning and revert to the biological. our view on lonliness are hard-coded into us after thousands of years of social grouping, back further than when we could have been categorised as human, and long before we gave up sexual torture and rubbing **** on our faces.

pork99

Originally posted by dam0cles
as a social species there is a stigma attached to being unaffiliated with any social group, i.e. alone. it's a biological/genetic thing. the lion wandering the veldt without a pride is treated with distrust and, at times, aggression by members of an established hierarchy. the lion is alone because he failed to keep control over his former pride, or was cast out because of his actions, either way he is lonely becuase of weakness. similarly a person is perceived to be lonely for a reason, cast out of a group for an action or a failure on their part. modern society will tell you it has moved on from seeing things in such black and white, animalistic terms, but you can't escape your bilogical programming.

I don't know too much about this but don't male lions compete for access to females? The winners end up with all the ladies and therefore pass on their genes, the losers are the outcasts. Nothing like humans of course